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The W - Movies & TV - SHOOT EM' UP...
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Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 1252 days
Last activity: 973 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.48
Kicked Ass!!! (...and needs an icon.)

I'd say 'Spoilers' in the title, but really, what's to spoil here. It was an hour and a half of gun fights with a little sex and over the top acting thrown in. There's the 'spoilers' for you.

On that note, this was fucking awesome. Every scene featured a gun. We even had our hero comforting a new born baby by showing it how a gun works. Yeah, no kidding. This was like a huge commercial for the NRA, almost. I'm shocked that they didn't wheel out Chuck Heston in here somewhere.

Back when they were casting CASINO ROYALE, I remember two stories about why they didn't pick Clive Owen as James Bond. One was that he wanted too much money and the other was that the didn't think he was 'right' for the part. This film proves the later wrong in every possible way. The stunt work was incredible from the chase scenes to the hilarious gun fight in the sky. Clive would make a killer Bond (even though I did warm up to (James 'Blond') Daniel Craig.)

Paul Giamatti also gives a good performance as a hired gun trying to get the baby. Any time you get to see an academy award nominated actor feeling up a corpse and getting off on it is pure cinematic gold. He does this while talking to his wife on the phone, mind you, which is just wrong.

Monica Belucci is what she is... a lactating prostitute with a heart of gold. Her boobs are kinda small for this though, so THAT was the most unbelievable part of the film... CRAZY!

Even with the nudity, sex, and extreme violence in this film, I question the R rating. Right from the opening shot of Clive Owen eating a carrot, you know this is all just a live action cartoon with him as Bugs Bunny and Giamatti as Elmer Fudd. The violence is so over the top that even the most sheltered, upity old old person who'd have a heart attack just looking at a gun would laugh and enjoy this. Personally, I'd say if your kids wanna see this, go with them and turn off your brain.

Best fun I've had in a movie all year... and I wasn't even drunk.
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Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

Since last post: 18 days
Last activity: 7 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.03
Caught this over the weekend. If you've seen the trailer, I can promise you that this film delivers exactly what it promises - shoot some guns, see some boobs. If that sounds like your cup of tea, you won't be disappointed. Fun fact for the sex scene; according to IMDB, both Clive Owen and Monica Bellucci are 44 years old.

Since: 7.1.02
From: Franklin, Wisconsin

Since last post: 1415 days
Last activity: 544 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.89
    Originally posted by Cerebus
    Personally, I'd say if your kids wanna see this, go with them and turn off your brain.

Please never have children.

Let's skip stones!
- David Wain

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