PAS: Yeah he looked like the bassist in The New Pornographers
PAS: Mark Henry is one tough motherfucker as he wrestles an entire match after dislocating his shoulder. I also really dug Beniot’s tope. This match need to be the 17 minute main event though, as it is the best matchup RAW has.
TKG: The Santoish tope did rule. I always dig the Mark Henry talks shit in ring. Mark Henry dislocating shoulder on a shoulderblock and then snapping it back was a TIVo moment. Henry starts to work left like a luchador and then takes the corss-face like a bad-ass. That whole match should be made into a video package.
PAS: Hardy and Booker was better on Heat, but this was still pretty fun. Booker was really stiffing Hardy, if all non Helmsley PPV matches weren’t 4 minutes, I would say that I would like to see a PPV match, but I guess I would rather see these guys get another rematch on Heat
TKG: I haven’t cared about backstage Austin in what feels like forever. But hey Austin as crazy drunk Inoki walking around backstage instilling everyone with fighting spirit was kind of fun. Austin to HBK “You’ve done everything the promotion ever asked you”…Exactly how drunk is Austin. Him not running over ref was disappointing. Inoki would have run over the ref.
PAS: I really enjoyed the different variations of chinlocks Randy Orton was putting on. If they are going to have a style based around chinlocks, Orton is a good guy to build around. That match really had the feel of a early 1990’s gay porn star vrs. a 2004 era gay porn star, like Orton was going to put on a sleeper and wax Shawn’s chest
TKG: The chinlocks were nice but I couldn’t help thinking the real Stevie Richards vs. the real Justin Credible wouldn’t main event 3PW. Why is Nise Stevie vs. Nise Credible maining this show.
What Didn’t Work
TKG: So Raw is going to be in Monterey, Mexico on April 4. So I’m taking bets how many of the “Raw is Coke, Roids, and Pain Killers” stars are going to make it back across the US border. Bischoff is getting stuck in Mexico for sure. Batista isn’t making it in to Mexico without at least one border guard glove up his ass.
PAS: I am not buying La Resistance as guys who would be constantly distracted by women’s tits and ass. Haven’t they seen Conways new bleach job?
PAS: Goldberg v. Kane was pretty useless, although I was amused at how quickly Goldberg scooted out of the ring once it started filling with gas. There is a guy who knows his history.
TKG: Wait wait, I noticed that too. Could Mcmahon really be Paul Touvier hidden under all that roids. Explains so much.
Originally posted by tomkPAS: Yeah he looked like the bassist in The New Pornographers
I was thinking Nana Mouskouri, or perhaps a stocky Just For Men® version of "Miss Hancock" (though he'd need to teasingly bite on writing implements to complete that effect).
The only thing I enjoy more than doing the crossword puzzle is actually finishing it.
DEAN HIJACKS! [Me n Brian Loverman went to Nacho Nights at Shartan Pro's. He had a new Dark Phoenix bust but I don't think had glued it together yet. I'm hoping that was glue he was using. He tells us that he is getting a lifesize statue of the Green Goblin. I tell him that I'm not gonna start woryying until the lifesize inflatable Storm figure shows up. The Nachos were fabulous. Raw sucked dick as usual.]
What Worked
TKG: I liked Bischoff’s trendy glasses.
PAS: Yeah he looked like the bassist in The New Pornographers
DR: I figured they had started gay division of BookWorm Bitches. "How far will Eric go to get an A?!?!"
PAS: Mark Henry is one tough motherfucker as he wrestles an entire match after dislocating his shoulder. I also really dug Beniot’s tope. This match need to be the 17 minute main event though, as it is the best matchup RAW has.
TKG: The Santoish tope did rule. I always dig the Mark Henry talks shit in ring. Mark Henry dislocating shoulder on a shoulderblock and then snapping it back was a TIVo moment. Henry starts to work left like a luchador and then takes the corss-face like a bad-ass. That whole match should be made into a video package.
DR: This match was a wash. HHH had his arrogant clapping tape on one hand and the teenage suicide attempt tape on his opposite wrist.
PAS: Hardy and Booker was better on Heat, but this was still pretty fun. Booker was really stiffing Hardy, if all non Helmsley PPV matches weren’t 4 minutes, I would say that I would like to see a PPV match, but I guess I would rather see these guys get another rematch on Heat
DR: I had finished off a 40 of Hurricane and remembered that Booker T's offense is amazingly shitty and contrived.
TKG: I haven’t cared about backstage Austin in what feels like forever. But hey Austin as crazy drunk Inoki walking around backstage instilling everyone with fighting spirit was kind of fun. Austin to HBK “You’ve done everything the promotion ever asked you”…Exactly how drunk is Austin. Him not running over ref was disappointing. Inoki would have run over the ref.
DR: Man, why do HHH and HBK always talk 1/2 inch from the face of whoever they are talking to? I thought I had just wandered into the beginnings of the good parts of a Johnny Hanson film.
PAS: I really enjoyed the different variations of chinlocks Randy Orton was putting on. If they are going to have a style based around chinlocks, Orton is a good guy to build around. That match really had the feel of a early 1990’s gay porn star vrs. a 2004 era gay porn star, like Orton was going to put on a sleeper and wax Shawn’s chest
TKG: The chinlocks were nice but I couldn’t help thinking the real Stevie Richards vs. the real Justin Credible wouldn’t main event 3PW. Why is Nise Stevie vs. Nise Credible maining this show.
DR: This was perfectly fine.
What Didn’t Work
TKG: So Raw is going to be in Monterey, Mexico on April 4. So I’m taking bets how many of the “Raw is Coke, Roids, and Pain Killers” stars are going to make it back across the US border. Bischoff is getting stuck in Mexico for sure. Batista isn’t making it in to Mexico without at least one border guard glove up his ass.
PAS: I am not buying La Resistance as guys who would be constantly distracted by women’s tits and ass. Haven’t they seen Conways new bleach job?
DR: God, Calista Flockheart needs a fucking sammich. The postmatch "Sable Trying To Dance" X2 section made my testicles ascend. La Resistance were stopped dead in their tracks because Keebler's scrawny ass looked like Shannon Moore's there for a second.
PAS: Goldberg v. Kane was pretty useless, although I was amused at how quickly Goldberg scooted out of the ring once it started filling with gas. There is a guy who knows his history.
TKG: Wait wait, I noticed that too. Could Mcmahon really be Paul Touvier hidden under all that roids. Explains so much.
DR: Jesus Fudge, JR sucks. "THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING I'VE EVER SEEN!"
The tag match was funny because Flair threw these great, great punches in the corner and ONE SECOND LATER Christian threw the worst sub-Bob Holly punches ever thrown. Somebody tapping to the Figure Four in the new millenium finally was good.
Is Russo booking this shit again? This whole thing had a feel of 2000 WCW- with matches I wanted to see all ruined by pointless run-ins and stupid vignettes. I mean Jesus fucking Christ, can you REALLY want more Larry Sanders hallway moments than you actually have in an epsiode of the "Larry Sanders Show"?
Originally posted by tomk : Goldberg v. Kane was pretty useless, although I was amused at how quickly Goldberg scooted out of the ring once it started filling with gas. There is a guy who knows his history.
TKG: Wait wait, I noticed that too. Could Mcmahon really be Paul Touvier hidden under all that roids. Explains so much.
Perhaps this Taker return is all a swerve, and its really Baron bringing in Alex Wright to finish the job.
Proud to have been a participant in the most spectacularly stupid group efforts on this forum.
Although the one thing that was funny was how Goldberg's Maury Make A Wish Kid was at ringside...well, it was either from a make-a-wish ep or a "This Neanderthal Is Mah Baby Daddy!" episode or even a "Spear/Jackhammer My Troubled Teen Straight!" episode, I'm not sure which.
Oh, shit, a DEAN~ run-in! The Raw-Smackdown war is HEATING UP. Business =about to pick up and so forth.
Anyway. I would like to officially curse Phil and Tom for making me picture Antonio Inoki cruising around the backstage area of New Japan and Zero-One shows on a four-wheeler, knocking jobbers and officials out of the way with his jutting chin and bellowing about FIGHTING SPIRIT.
On a related note, if there're any artistically talented Weiners out there with the inclination and free time, I would be your best friend if you drew that very thing, caricature-style. :)
Kansas-born and deeply ashamed The last living La Parka Marka
"They that can give up essential liberty to gain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin
Originally posted by Nate The SnakeOh I would like to officially curse Phil and Tom for making me picture Antonio Inoki cruising around the backstage area of New Japan and Zero-One shows on a four-wheeler, knocking jobbers and officials out of the way with his jutting chin and bellowing about FIGHTING SPIRIT.
On a related note, if there're any artistically talented Weiners out there with the inclination and free time, I would be your best friend if you drew that very thing, caricature-style. :)
If someone could make the crazy Inoki car model kit-they could be an innstant millionare.
As to Dean
DR: I had finished off a 40 of Hurricane and remembered that Booker T's offense is amazingly shitty and contrived.
TKG: You so need the Heat match as Booker's Heat finisher is all nasty and great.
I should mention that I am kind of excited by the Matt Hardy is a looser gimmick. Just with the hope that it means I'll see video packages of Matt at home. With Cham Pain in the role of Hak throwing Sandman into the pool. OTOH if Kanyon doesn't end up in a pool than the whole thing is worthless burial of a over character.
DR: Man, why do HHH and HBK always talk 1/2 inch from the face of whoever they are talking to? I thought I had just wandered into the beginnings of the good parts of a Johnny Hanson film.
TKG: This makes me laugh just cause monday I was noticing how much Helmsley looks like Nick Zedd on roids with a bleach job. Couldn't come up with the right joke.
DR: God, Calista Flockheart needs a fucking sammich. The postmatch "Sable Trying To Dance" X2 section made my testicles ascend. La Resistance were stopped dead in their tracks because Keebler's scrawny ass looked like Shannon Moore's there for a second.
TKG: I made Phil rewind that dance section again and again and again. Hancock was once a Raven's cheerleader she can't dance for shit. Her openig shimmy was hillarious as I've seen sexier "Chicken Dances" at weddings. The parts where the two were choreographed to dance with each other also were laugh out loud funny. The cha-cha slide would have looked less mechanical. Don't choreograph these two, the wwf should have just let them grind each arythmically.
You know like Eu sang on the B-side to Doing da Butt, Shake it like a white girl.
Is Russo booking this shit again? This whole thing had a feel of 2000 WCW- with matches I wanted to see all ruined by pointless run-ins and stupid vignettes. I mean Jesus fucking Christ, can you REALLY want more Larry Sanders hallway moments than you actually have in an epsiode of the "Larry Sanders Show"?
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