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2.2.23 2101
The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 7-2-07 -- This is a Test
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Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong

Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 2592 days
Last activity: 1546 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
In Cornette's office, Jim Cornette tells Christian Age and his Coalition that they have a match tonight against Sting and Abyss -- a ladder match, with a contract for Hard Justice on the line.

He throws them out and, as they are standing around in the hall, Kurt Angle walk by. He is trailed by his 5-year-old daughter (in a cheerleading outfit!), dragging Kurt's suitcase behind her, and Kurt's wife, carrying Kurt's title belts.

Cage: "...Was that his wife?"
Jeremy Borash: "Mm-hmm."
Cage: "Nice...belts. Hey, Tomko, maybe she can carry your toy belt!"
AJ Styles: "She's, like, five."
Borash: "The tall one, AJ."

Team 3D vs. Eric Young and Chris Harris: 3D win a five minute match by hitting a spike piledriver (!) on Young. Interestingly enough, they sold more for Young during this match than they sold for LAX during the entirety of their feud.

Where was Harris, you ask? He got distracted by Dustin Rhodes halfway through and they brawled to the back. After the match, Robert Roode came out and beat down Eric Young, then coated him in -- honey? tanning lotion? -- and feathers.

Angle calls his wife fat and refers to his daughter as "roly poly."

Sonjay Dutt and Black Machismo vs. XXX: Triple X is Senshi and Christopher Daniels this time, with Elix Skipper at ringside. Match is alright. Dutt gets in a move or two I haven't seen before, which is always neat. Senshi kills Dutt with the Warrior's Way, followed by Daniels' BME for the pin.

The Motor City Machine Guns came down to watch the match and have a little bit of a confrontation with XXX afterward.

Angle is trying to get Dr. Nash to psychoanalyze his wife. After Angle leaves, Nash starts hitting on her. She says that all wrestlers are alike and she storms out.

AJ Styles and Christian Cage vs. Sting and Abyss: This is a ladder match, and the winner gets to choose his match at Hard Justice (I don't think they get to choose their opponent -- just the type of match -- I'm not 100% clear on this). Perfunctory ladder spots lead up to Tomko interfering -- he's wearing a new shirt that has his tattoos on it -- huh. THIS leads up to TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST running out -- OH BOY -- he takes out the bad guys and Abyss grabs the contract.

Interview in the back with Sting, Abyss, and Test -- he's THE PUNISHER ANDREW MARTIN now. (Will Marvel Comics complain?) He says the sides are even now.

Kurt and his wife are in the ring. Kurt wants Karen to talk about how great he is, but she mums up -- Kurt asks her if her mouth is full of chocolate chip cookies again. Joe comes out and Karen finds the courage to tell Kurt that he's made her life a living hell -- "our OVER!" She leaves and Joe beats Kurt down.

Eh show. I was fidgety throughout.

First Dustin Rhodes, now Test -- it's like TNA found my list of "Wrestlers I'm most bored by."

Actually, I assume that TNA executives were looking at the newspaper headlines -- "What's going on? Michael Vick...congress wants WWE's drug testing records...I know! Let's sign Pacman and Test! Show the kids we're 'with it!'"



(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 2.8.07 2235)

Last 5 movies seen: 300 **1/2 - The Big Bad Swim *** - The Host ***1/2 - Zodiac **** - Ratatouille ****
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Since: 22.4.02
From: New Hampshire

Since last post: 346 days
Last activity: 206 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.94
You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.

"Yep....and was it really necessary having the woman keep glancing down at his penis?" (Kevintripod)

Sounds like (from the commentary -- yay, I finally get to watch ímpact!) if Christyles won, Christian/Abyss wouldn't happen, but if The Team Of Sting And Abyss won, Abyss could pick the stips for the match. So basically, Abyss wins.


Since: 11.5.03
From: Mount Pleasant, Pa.

Since last post: 3 hours
Last activity: 3 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.89
In the words of PWTorch columnist James Caldwell on the Mr. and Mrs. Angle storyline:

>Why not take this Angle storyline all the way and have Angle choke her out already?<

"F*cking Chuck Norris."

Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 2019 days
Last activity: 1904 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95

A potential Motor City Machineguns vs. Triple X match? Sign me up ...

Damn, Angle's got a smokin' hot wife ...

Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 2995 days
Last activity: 1006 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.50
Punisher? A turd by any other name...

The whole Angle and wife thing made me a little uncomfortable too. The hint of domestic violence, even mental cruelty, is a bit much at this point. At least they didn't have her hook up with Joe. Then again, I haven't read spoilers for next week.

At least there are some interesting things going on in the mid card with XXX and the MCMG. Christian is awesome, as usual. But will the feud with Young and Roode EVER end?!?!

Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!

Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 5011 days
Last activity: 4945 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
The Angle stuff was horrednous. Either the company is stupid enough to miss the offensiveness, oor they've decided to exploit the hot wrestlign topic of the day. I can't decide which is worse. And to top it all off, it's more soap-opera bullshit in a feud which needs none of it.

To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires, and lights, in a box.-Edward R. Murrow
Matt Tracker

Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 6 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.01
I did like Angle's new look (suit, sunglasses). It's got the zip of the mid-'80s Flair, but the stuff with his family was just weak. Seriously, if they have to do this, you don't introduce the wife and have her declare the separation in the same episode. You make the audience wait for the turn, like Rick Steiner in the Varsity Club. Then again, would it otherwise be dragged out as long as Roode/Brooks/Young?

Bubba Ray spent the majority of the match hitching up his pants. Watch him on the mat after the Eric Young hiptoss. He looks like he's pulling the pants back up from around his knees. And no 3D from Team 3D? Is this the gesture that makes them full-on heels? I say it makes them full-on boring.

I'm all for Test getting an high midcard push, but this show is already too crowded for a one-hour show, and I'm not sure I can take 2 hours of West's commentary (the last TNA PPV I bought was when Rhyno won the belt). Martin threatens to eclipse Hoyt, the TNA Test, but I like Martin too much to be saddened by this.

I don't dig Dutt's new gimmick (although the Taj Majal tights are awesome), but he's still the unsung hero of the X Division. And that Triple X double finisher looks deadly to anybody they might face. Surely, no one could Johnny Ace their way from a pinfall after taking that.

A sad ladder match. The small size of the TNA ring and the black ladder show just what kind of space the WWE guys have to work with. This made them look like a smalltime promotion.

And Soamoa Joe's continual pursuit of Angle is simply boring now. They blew their chance with him.

"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker

Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 2995 days
Last activity: 1006 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.50
    Originally posted by oldschoolhero
    And to top it all off, it's more soap-opera bullshit in a feud which needs none of it.

Exactly. Do they think no one will be interested in just the "2 best wrestlers in the world" fighting for 4 championships? I am all for the simplicity of the good old days when many feuds were based on the premise of "I'm better than you, and I'm going to prove it with VIOLENCE"

Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!

Since: 1.8.07

Since last post: 4665 days
Last activity: 4665 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.74

    THIS leads up to TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST running out

You know those scenes in the movies, when something so awful happens that a character throws back his head and screams "NOOOOO!" and then they zoom out to a view of his house and birds fly off his trees, then they zoom out to his city and you still hear him screaming, and then they zoom out to the planet Earth and you *still* hear a scream?

Well a Moon Monster just just wondered, "What the hell was THAT?"

Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 70 days
Last activity: 56 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.29
God. Maybe they've given up the idea of signing Chris Jericho, so they decided Test was the next best thing. Heh.

Honestly, Test isn't the answer to any question that deserves to be asked.

"Forget belief systems. Forget about the parameters of rational thought as it so smugly is called. Feel, my friend-- feel!"
--KARR, Knight Rider episode "KITT vs. KARR"

Remembering Chris Benoit (1967-2007) and Eddie Guerrero (1967-2005)

Fan of the Indianapolis Colts (Super Bowl XLI Champions), Indiana Pacers and Washington Nationals

Certified RFMC Member-- Ask To See My Credentials!


Since: 25.7.02
From: Franklin, PA

Since last post: 2181 days
Last activity: 1517 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.63
    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
    And that Triple X double finisher looks deadly to anybody they might face. Surely, no one could Johnny Ace their way from a pinfall after taking that.

Does Primetime have a better top-rope finisher than that "walking out" legdrop? It seems kinda out of place with the BME and Kevin Sullivan Memorial Stomp.

I'm Charlie Owens, good night, and good luck.

Since: 4.1.05
From: SE12, London, UK.

Since last post: 2601 days
Last activity: 233 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.41
Seeing as i remember reading "In 2005, Martin legally changed his name to Andrew Test Martin in order to regain legal ownership of his ring name" on Wiki a while ago i was surprised he was "formerly" known as Test when he already had a fine established name. I've always thought he was okay, but i'm sure the people less impressed care even less about 'Andrew The Punisher Martin' than they would about 'Test'. It's like when WWE changed Monty Brown's actual name - unnecessary and weird.

Watching Grunge leg drop New Jack through a press table

Carpet Hed


Since: 11.5.02

Since last post: 2236 days
Last activity: 1178 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.75
"Test" was a horrible gimmick name that only brought up memories of past failed pushes and mediocrity. I can understand him using it on the indy scene where "Andrew Martin" would have no name value, but TNA have national TV and PPV to establish a new name without resorting to his old WWE gimmick.

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Anyone familiar with ESPN Page Two's Bill Simmons. If so...Jackie on commentary was a perfect 100 on the Unintentional Comedy Scale. I agree, it was terribly awful...but for one night I could stand it just for the opportunity to laugh my ass off.
- The Amazing Salami, Jackie on HEAT (2002)
Related threads: iMPACT! 7-26-07 - iMPACT! 7-19-07 - iMPACT! 7-12-07 - More...
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