Yeah, I really do miss having this forum, even more than I thought I would. It's partly a matter of the way that "the girls" talk among themselves. It's partly a matter of feeling a need to have read everything before I get to post. It's partly a matter of being able to wander in sometime late.
I wasn't going to get on the main board & start the squealing girl thread about "Oooooh Wasn't Spanky adorable on Confidential You all saw it right He's such a cutie!" But he was. (In spite of his teeny genitalia.)
Same thing about the general lusting/lech-ing at the hunky guys. When I'm having lunch with a bunch of straight, male engineers, I just don't generally steer the conversation to what a cute ass the waiter has. I really don't think that most of the readers on the main board care just how splendid I think Kurt's ass is in the shiny new singlet.
Often, by the time I've read through everything on the main board, I really don't feel like posting. I think we've talked about this a bit before, & don't know exactly why it is. There's that phenomenon of not feeling like you have anything interesting to type til you start to type it. Somebody else has already said it. (Or everybody else is already dogpiling on the opposite.) There's also the "is anybody interested in this?"
In general, one doesn't get a whole lot of interaction on the main board. Maybe what I miss is the intimacy of having a smaller forum. CRZ doesn't want a chatroom, which is fair & reasonable. But somehow on the main board, I sorta feel like I need to produce journalistic-quality content of broad interest. (Hey, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the main board does care that I'm sad 'cause my kitty is sick. Nah -- that'd just get pussy jokes.)
Then there's the deadline aspect. It's like having homework due. If I don't have Raw comments til Tuesday night or even Wednesday (Y'know, if I was out on Monday having a life or something.) it feels like the moment has passed.
I dunno. Maybe I'm just sad 'cause I'm worried about the cat. Maybe I just needed to vent.
Sure, I know what you gals mean. That's the thing about a feminine community--we at least pretend to ID with other women's personal issues. Guys are much more prone to ridiculing each other over perceived weaknesses, and that's not the female way. We don't want to bring certain things up in mixed company, and generally we refrain no matter how brash and liberated we are in general. It's automatic and almost unconscious: this isn't male talk, so the very thought is sometimes suppressed until it can be expressed. Male friendliness is not the point. There are things we don't even talk about to our husbands.
Yup. On the one hand, you hate to have to generalise about "men vs. women", since there are some quite exceptional guys. (And the last thing you want to do is offend them needlessly.) On the other hand, there are generalizations that do apply -- whether they're socialized or genetic or whatever. MM, you are so right about the ridiculing & "one-up-ing" behaviours.
What suprises me (about myself) is why this seems to apply to me on a damn wrestling site. :-) I think I do end up subconsciously self-censoring. Damn this gender-biased socialization! :-)
Is this tangled up with the people-pleasing thing that women (grossly generalised) do? "Oh, the boys won't want to hear about that." Don't know. (Ooooh! There's a phrase you don't hear very often in male communities, ain't it!)
BTW, the kitty is home from the hospital, 'til his MRI on Friday. Prevailing theory is that he has some sort of brain tumor, & hopefully the MRI tells us where, how bad, & if operable. Thanks for the concern. Pretended or otherwise. :-)
Hey, you can't blame a girl for trying! ;-) And wouldn't he just suavely tell us all that there's plenty of him to go around? I'm partial to 'big & smart' -- Test is a reasonable candidate based on half of those criteria!