#1 Posted on 24.6.15 1519.07 Reposted on: 24.6.22 1527.35
I don't know how long I'm going to attempt to do this (or what even compelled me to start in the first place) but for some reason I got it in my head to compile a list of all the fictional pro wrestlers I've ever heard of ... Wikipedia is a decent-enough resource, but it occurred to me that there are SO many "fake" wrestlers out there (be they from TV shows, movies, video games, or what have you) that never seem to show up on lists like this.
So, in what may turn out to be (but probably will not be) a recurring series, I'm going to attempt to list those fictitious wrestlers that no one else seems to remember ... and just to be clear, these are not characters created for "real-world" wrestling companies (like Shark Boy or Dr. Cube) nor are they actual pro wrestlers playing non-wrestling fictional roles in films (like Shep Ramsey or Sergeant Blain Cooper); I'm focusing on professional wrestlers who do not exist in OUR universe.
For this initial entry, I wanted to focus on a character that I'm almost positive no one on this board has ever heard of ... The show was called Hard Time on Planet Earth, and the character was the HotDog Man.
Now, the story of HTOPE was that an extraterrestrial soldier (played by The Karate Kid's Martin Kove) was sentenced to imprisonment on Earth in human form, along with a floating eyeball named "Control" ... The show aired for 13 episodes in 1989 (I'm sure the "floating eyeball" part was what caused it to stick in my young mind), with the alien roaming the countryside and finding odd jobs to try and understand human culture (kind of a spin on the "Incredible Hulk" formula).
There was one episode where "Jesse" took a job as a professional wrestler, adopting the terrifying moniker of "The HotDog Man":
Originally posted by Wikipedia "The Hot Dog Man" April 26, 1989
Jesse gets a job as a hot dog man at a local wrestling ring. When he witnesses what he thinks is an unfair fight, he enters the ring and defeats the other four wrestlers. The owners of the ring, Annie (Conchata Ferrell) and Sandra (Pamela Cummings), hire him and promote him as the Hotdog Man, and Jesse begins to learn the concept of sports. Meanwhile, a local businessman is trying to buy the property where the ring is located. Annie and Sandra are unwilling to sell because the ring generates money to support a halfway house on the same property. Some thugs try to intimidate Jesse by mugging him in a back alley with a baseball bat and then by causing a light bank to fall on the ring during a televised match. Jesse confronts the businessman about it, only to learn that he's not involved. When a man, Jake (Richard Epcar) comes to get Annie's signature to sell the lease, the wrestlers attack him and he confesses that Sandra is behind everything. Sandra takes one of the children from the halfway house hostage, but Jesse and the other wrestlers use their unique skills to rescue him.
As far as I can tell, this is the only known footage of that episode to exist on the internet, featuring cameos from actual wrestlers Pistol Pete Marquez (as Mongo) and Tiny "Zeus" Lister (as John Henry):
BONUS: According to IMDB, this episode also featured female wrestlers from the old "Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling" program (like Mountain Fiji and Babe the Farmer's Daughter) ... but I have no recollection of that.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this inaugural edition of "Fake Wrestlers" ... Now you can amaze your friends with the knowledge that Sensei John Kreese once wrestled under the name "The HotDog Man" while accompanied by a floating eyeball!
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