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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - Lucha Underground #27 - 05/13/2015
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#1 Posted on 14.5.15 1416.23
Reposted on: 14.5.22 1417.09
So after Wrestlemania, I found myself completely burn out on professional wrestling and stopped watching altogether. The fact that I was organizing an 18 act, one day music festival completely killed any free time I might have had anyway. But the festival is over now (coming off even more successfully than I had hoped) and I've recuperated and the urge to enjoy the fighting arts has returned. I marathoned nearly two months of Lucha Underground episodes over the course of three days, catching up just in time to see this week's episode.

Those two months were mostly good to great (Fenix vs Mil Muertes Grave Consequences was awesome, the trios tournament was fun) but the last two shows left a bad taste in my mouth. Between the curtain jerker of the 4/29 episode and the main event of the the 5/6, we went six straight matches without a clean finish, par for the course for WWE/TNA but Lucha Underground has raised the bar and I expect better from them. So it was with some trepidation that I sat down to watch this week's episode. Fortunately, for the most part, my faith was restored.

After a recap of the Johnny Mundo/Alberto El Patron rivalry and Hernandez's involvement therein, we open with Dario Cueto talking to the brother he keeps locked up somewhere in the temple. He claims to have spent half of their father's fortune hunting down the seven medallions of the ancient Aztec tribes. He claims that once they're united, they will make one warrior more powerful than the gods themselves. (Apparently keeping them together in a bag doesn't qualify as uniting them because Cueto doesn't look any more powerful than last week.) He plans on recreating the battles fought for the medallions in ancient times.

This could get interesting. They could stretch this storyline out for quite some time, with the medallions being on the line in match after match until one person manages to capture them all. (I hope the bring in some CGI at this point and cause a dragon to appear above the ring, promising to grant a wish to the winner. Puma, after successfully reclaiming the prize of his ancestors, uses it to give Drago back his Lucha Underground contract.)

Cueto also insinuates that his brother is more powerful than the gods, which makes you wonder what exactly those bars are made of that keep him locked in. I would pay good money to see Matanza finally break lose and run into the temple, only to discover that he's wearing a Drago-quality mask that looks exactly like Sloth from The Goonies.

Opening music from Sergio Mendoza Y La Orkestra as Vamprio mentions that Robert Trujillo (Suicidal Tendencies/Metallica) is in the audience. Our main event tonight is Alberto del Rio vs Hernandez for the #1 contendership, but first it's time for a brand new luchador to make his debut.

First out is Aero Star, making his first appearance since he lost the best of five series to Drago. The crowd is seriously behind Aero Star, chanting loudly for him as he makes his way down the stairs. It's amazing how well it works out for everyone when you make people look good in defeat.

His opponent is the debuting Jack Evans. Well, I suppose this was bound to happen at some point. I've really only ever seen Evans on highlight reels, so my dislike of him might be completely unjustified, possibly tied to guilt-by-association with Teddy Hart. We'll see. Incidentally, this makes the fourth Wrestling Society X alumni to appear in the temple, after Vampiro, Son of Havoc, and the last man to ever hold the WSX championship (though we're not supposed to acknowledge that), Mil Muertes.

The crowd is all over Evans as Matt Striker plays up his fifteen years of experience in the business. The gringo suckers Aero Star in for a test of strength but kicks him down to the mat instead, followed by a kick to the back. Arm wringer into an Irish whip. Evans leapfrogs Aero Star but gets a dropkick to the ass when he tries to roll through on the next pass.

Aero Star tries for a corner-to-corner whip but it's reversed. He jumps up to the second turnbuckle, pirouettes along the second rope, then catches Evans with a forearm as he tries to copy his opponent, allowing Aero Star to tightrope the middle rope into a seated top rope hurricanrana that's only good for one.

Aero Star gets off the corner whip this time and Evans tries to showboat as well, cartwheeling over the top rope and landing on the apron, only to be kicked in the face by Aero Star who follows up with a somersault senton to the floor.

Striker mentions that Aero Star was trained by Gran Apache and Abismo Negro and asks what sort of style that lends. Vampiro talks about the interchange of talent between Japan and Mexico in the '70s and early '80s and how great those two were. "Not like me, I was trained by Homer Simpson." Out of curiosity, I headed to Wikipedia to see who actually trained Vampiro, only to discover that he was, in fact, trained by Homer Simpson. (Checking the history, someone immediately rushed to the page to make that edit as soon as Vampiro made the joke. I reverted it back to the legitimate answer of Abdullah the Butcher, which isn't all that far off.)

Back in the ring, Aero Star whips Evans off again but he cartwheels out of it, catches Aero Star with a judo throw and a back kick. After jawing to the crowd, Evans takes the luchador down with a unique stepover combination, then locks in a dungeon-style crossface which Aero Star breaks by grabbing the bottom rope.

Jack breaks clean but screams at the ref, drawing a Culero! chant from the crowd. Jack looks like he's been called this more than once, Vampiro notes. (Culero basically translates to asshole.)

Knee strikes to the face followed by a spinning kick drops Aero Star. Evans then lands a standing corkscrew moonsault that Striker calls an ode to Blitzkrieg (who gave the Blitzkrieg gimmick to Evans after retirement) but it only gets a two count.

Evans yells at the ref again and goes for a corner-to-corner whip of it's own but it's reversed as someone in the crowd yells out Nobody likes you, Jack Evans!. He catches himself in the corner, however, and then catches Aero Star with a big boot before cartwheeling and back handspringing behind him to nail a huge German suplex.

The Canadian jaws at the crowd once again, giving the Mexican time to recover. Can I take a moment to talk about Aero Star's costume? He's known as the last creation of AAA founder Antonio Peña (who helped design the costume before he died) so it would probably be considered bad form to change the gimmick even if he wanted to, but the guy looks like an interstellar highway patrolman. I wouldn't be at all surprised to see him standing next to George Jetson, writing him a speeding ticket.

Evans whips Aero Star off the ropes once again but whiffs a big roundhouse kick. Aero Star feints sliding out to the floor but bounces ass first off the bottom rope back into the ring. Evans charges but gets hip tossed all the way out to the floor in a huge bump. Aero Star builds up speed and somersaults over the ropes but lands on his feet as Evans moves away. Evans charges but gets alley ooped face first into the metal barricade that surrounds the ring.

Aero Star tries to whip Jack Evans back into the ring but Evans manages to spin around with a tiger feint kick on the apron, dropping Aero Star. He then climbs up the barricade into the crowd and splatters his masked opponent with a 450 splash on the floor. This Is Awesome! chant from the crowd.

Evans rolls Aero Star back into the ring but misses a phoenix splash. Aero Star tries to climb to the top but he's hurt and is having trouble getting up. Jack Evans kicks him and follows him up. Evans declares himself the best luchador but after a struggle ends up eating a top rope destroyer flipping pile driver which is enough to give the man from the cosmos the victory as the crowd rightly chants Holy Shit!

Back from commercial, Big Ryck is counting a stack of cash in the locker room. The Mack asks where he got it but Ryck informs him that his business is his business. Mack points out that they're family but Ryck retorts that being family didn't help them win the trios titles. He knows that Mack got into the business to show off his fancy moves and make some fans but this is a business and for the right amount of money, Ryck has no problem whipping his own family's ass.

In the ring, Killshot, Fenix, King Cuerno, Cage, and Pentagon Jr are awaiting two more opponents. The first out is Sexy Star, followed by The Mack. This is a seven way match for the first of Dario Cueto's Dragon Balls Aztec medallions.

The bell rings and everyone quickly pairs off and start tossing each other to the floor until we end up with Fenix and Pentagon Jr brothers (real life, not storyline) who made their Lucha Underground debut together in a three-way match with Drago. Fenix won that match and also the ten man match for a prime spot at Aztec Warfare, so you'd think he has to be a favorite in this match. (Cage also debuted in a four-way match alongside Angelico, Aero Star, and Argenis, which he won.)

Fenix tries to pump up the crowd but Pentagon kicks him in the gut and chops him into the corner. He whips him across the ring but runs into a superkick and then a springboard dropkick. Fenix tries to charge Pentagon to stay on top but gets caught with a slingblade which gets a two count.

Mafia kick from Pentagon and then he nails Fenix with a DDT that gets another two count. Vampiro thinks there are two favorites to win this match. The first is Fenix. The second is either King Cuerno, Sexy Star, or one of the other four wrestlers in the match. So we've established that Vampiro believes someone in this match will win it. Based on that prediction, I'm going to go with Curtis Axel as the eventual winner, as he still hasn't been eliminated from Aztec Warfare.

Fenix feints and tricks Pentagon into sliding out to the floor where he eats a 'rana. Cuerno and Killshot slide into the ring while it's available. Fenix tries to charge back into the ring but Cuerno kicks him square in the face, sending him back onto the floor.

Killshot and King Cuerno face off and this could be a really good singles match, as they both have some bizarre style that's simultaneously high flying and methodical. Killshot gets a waistlock on Cuerno and takes him down amateur style. The wrestle briefly then return to their feet where Cuerno rocks Killshot with a forearm and then an open hand slap to the chest.

Cuerno whips Killshot to the corner then charges but Killshot comes out, do-si-dos him, pinballs off the ropes in the corner and flips past Cuerno to confuse him, leap frogs and then finally finishes that fancy sequence off with a basic drop kick. (Meanwhile, Cage and Mack have been hugging it out on the floor for most of the match.)

Killshot goes for a suplex but Cuerno floats over and dropkicks him hard into the corner. Before he can capitalize, though, Sexy Star comes flying off the top rope and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl 'rana. Cuerno is momentarily discombobulated then slowly turns to her with a look of "What the fuck was that?" and Star shows what a strong, independent woman she is by immediately running out of the ring.

Cuerno doesn't have time to go after her because Killshot is back to his feet. The hunter is dropped via kick to the head, but then Cage turns Killshot inside out with a clothesline. Seriously, Killshot somehow managed to almost kip up just by bouncing off his head and shoulders.

Cuerno and Cage decide to continue their previous alliance. Cage whips Killshot to Cuerno who drop toe-holds him into the ropes, followed by a tiger feint kick from Cage. But Mack finally makes it back into the ring after being Mayweathered by Cage and sends the big man down to the apron with a huge flying front kick. Cuerno immediately cuts him off with a massive flying forearm, however. Double suplex to The Mack by Cuerno and Cage but Cage is bored so he goes ahead and suplexes Killshot with his free arm while he's going over anyway.

Cage comes off the top with a flying elbow to Mack at the same time that Cuerno hits a top rope splash to Killshot. They go for stereo pins but it's quickly broken up by Fenix and Sexy Star. Star lays into Cage with kicks and forearms but Cage completely no sells them. He whiffs a short arm clothesline then tries to hip toss her but she turns it into a 'rana on Cuerno instead. Cage finally nails her with a clothesline, however, and she immediately rolls to the floor, to be replaced by Fenix.

Fenix drops Cage to his knees with a couple of kicks but somehow a step up enziguiri picks Cage back up to a vertical base. He's rocked, though, and eats a leg lariat from Mack. Pentagon comes out of nowhere with a superkick on Fenix but then eats one of his own from Killshot.

Killshot and Mack decide to maintain their camraderie from the trios tournament as well. They hit stereo corner clotheslines on Fenix and Pentagon Jr, then trade sides and do it again. They miss on their third attempts, however, ending up in stereo trees-of-woe. Fenix and Pentagon come off with double stomps for both men then clothesline each other in the middle of the ring. This leads to Cage & Cuerno sneaking in and going for double pins but Sexy Star runs in and stomps on both of them to break it up.

Cuerno and Cage grab her by the throat. She slaps their hands away and goes for a crossbody. They catch her and toss her over their heads but she (sloppily) lands on her feet. She ducks a clothesline from Cuerno but Cage catches her. She slips out just in time for Cuerno to superkick Cage in the face. Sexy chops Cuerno, grabs his hand, runs up the ropes as if to arm drag him but instead changes her mind and leaps off with a huge crossbody to her nemesis Pentagon on the floor.

In the ring, Mack gets Cage up for a power slam but Cage slips out the back and rams Mack shoulder first into the post. He then hits him with a pump handle into a driver but catches a corkscrew cross body from Fenix before he can capitalize. Fenix immediately eats a 450 splash from Killshot, however but the pin is broken up by a kick from King Cuerno who nails Killshot with the Thrill of the Hunt in the middle of the ring. The pin is broken up by Sexy Star who rolls Cuerno into a crucifix pin but that's broken up by Pentagon who punts her in the back.

Pentagon Jr murders Sexy Star with a pump handle into a pile driver but Mack breaks up that pin. Cage tries for the discus clothesline on Mack but misses and gets flattened with a Samoan drop. Mack kips up out and immediately lands a standing moonsault but King Cuerno breaks that pin up with a basement dropkick.

Fenix sends Cuerno to the floor with a spin kick but Pentagon Jr lays into Fenix with several kicks of his own. Pentagon tries to fake out Fenix but it doesn't work and he gets tossed to the floor with a 'rana. Fenix hasn't had enough of him, though, and lands a springboard corkscrew plancha to the floor. Cage finally connects with the discus clothesline, taking out The Mack on the floor.

Fenix is back in the ring but he gets lonely so he tries for a suicide dive on Cage but gets caught upside down in suplex position. Cage shows off his strength with the delayed vertical suplex which gives Killshot time to fly over the top with a crossbody shades of Paul Roma.

This leaves King Cuerno in the ring all alone but he gets lonely too so he pierces Killshot with the Arrow from the Depths of Hell suicide dive. Sexy Star is in the ring but gets splattered with a corner dropkick from Pentagon Jr. Fenix goes for the save but gets caught by the man with zero fear. Sexy tries to save her savior but she gets caught as well, leading to Pentagon Jr HITTING A GORY BOMB ON SEXY STAR AS HE SIMULTANEOUSLY PACKAGE PILEDRIVES FENIX!!!!! The crowd sits in impressive silence for a brief moment before launching into the requisite holy shit chant.

Pentagon wants to break Fenix's arm but Sexy Star sees what's happening and has enough left in the tank to break it up with a dropkick. Pentagon takes exception to her interfering in his ritual for a third time and gorilla presses her before dropping her into a double knee gut buster.

This distraction is enough for Fenix to recover, though. He leaps onto Pentagon Jr's shoulders, plays bongo drums on his skull, then flips back into what Striker has taken to calling the rewind-rana, followed by a standing moonsault for the pin and the win.

Fenix celebrates winning the first medallion while fleeing up the stairs as Pentagon glares at him from in the ring. Hopefully this is leading to a singles match between these two.

The trios champions are in Dario Cueto's office once again. He's impressed that they've managed to work together at all, let alone win the titles, but since Cortez Castro and Mr. Cisco defeated Angelico & Son of Havoc last week, they're getting a title match next week. Havoc protests, pointing out that Ivelisse's leg is still broken but she insists she only needs her hands to beat their punk asses. Cueto acknowledges this but points out that she needs her legs as well because it's going to be a ladder match. If they're worried about injuries, though, he's willing to save them the risk and just strip them of the titles right now. They opt to fight.

Fenix is in the locker room, lacing up his boots for some reason. They must have come untied during the seven-man and that's why he ran away so quickly, so he could tie them in peace. The lights go out and suddenly Catrina is there. Fenix fell right into her trap. She wanted him to bury Mils Muertes so they could use Fenix's power for Muertes to be reborn even more powerful. Now he's coming for Fenix, who's just a pawn for death. He tries to grab her but the lights go out again and she disappears. Three men wearing skull masks that look and act a lot like kodama (Japanese tree spirits) are standing atop the lockers. The drop down toward Fenix as we cut to commercial.

It's time for the main event. Dario Cueto has made this a no disqualification, no count out match. You must win by pinfall or submission.

Hernandez comes out first at ground level. Alberto El Patron comes down the steps, wearing the AAA Mega Championship belt.

Striker claims that these two men are veterans while Puma is a rookie, and whoever wins here will have an experience advantage on Puma. For the record, Alberto's debut was fifteen years ago this month. Hernandez has almost ninteen years in the business. Prince Puma has been in the business for a over a decade, so while he hasn't been around quite as long as the other two, he's far from a rookie. (Okay, Ricochet has been around for over a decade. Prince Puma started training last year.)

Hernandez and El Patron lock up. Hernandez muscles Patron into the corner but Patron reverses it, then breaks clean. They lock up again and Hernandez quickly shoves Alberto back into the corner. He's slow to break but does so clean.

They lock up for a test of strength but Hernandez immediately kicks Patron in the gut and then slams him head first into the turnbuckle. Shoulders in the corner and then Hernandez throws him shoulder first into the post, sending Patron out to the floor.

He follows him out and repeatedly slams him into the ring apron, then rolls him back in. Corner whip but Patron ducks a flying splash and drops Hernandez with a clothesline, then another, followed by a lung blower which gets a two count.

Si! Si! Si! chant from the crowd by Alberto misses the thrust kick and gets flattened with a pounce. Hernandez immediately starts choking him and then punches him in the face repeatedly. Gut wrench into a back breaker gets another near fall.

Hernandez pulls Patron to his feet but is immediately caught with the double knee arm breaker, followed by the thrust kick to the face but Supermex manages to kick out at two.

Patron calls for the cross arm breaker but Johnny Mundo runs down to ringside and yanks him out of the ring, DDTing him on the floor. He then picks him up and Marty Janetty's him through the window of Dario Cueto's office. Why, Johnny, Why? chant from the crowd. Cueto isn't quite sure how to take a luchador flying through his window, so he opts to pour himself a glass of tequila. Mundo drags a bloodied Patron back to the ring and rolls him in to Hernandez who gets the 1-2-3 and a shot at Prince Puma next week.

You know, I'm okay with that particular bullshit ending. A Johnny Mundo vs Alberto El Patron fued should be good. Puma vs either of those guys will be hot at any point in time, but a month from now nobody is going to be interested in Hernandez vs Puma, so they might as well strike with that match while the iron is warm.

And with two awesome matches that took up the bulk of the show, I don't mind a short throwaway main event. I don't think anyone was chomping at the bit to see an epic Hernandez vs Alberto El Patron battle anyway.

I'm looking forward to next week. If the ladder match is even a quarter as good as the first Lucha Underground ladder match, it will be highly entertaining. And hopefully Pentagon Jr will begin a quest to steal Fenix's Dragon Ball Aztec medallion. And will Dario Cueto set aside his differences with Johnny Mundo now that Mundo has had a change in attitude, or will this restart their feud when Cueto demands the return of the $100,000 briefcase for the window repairs?

(edited by InVerse on 14.5.15 1508)
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Matt Tracker
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#2 Posted on 14.5.15 1602.41
Reposted on: 14.5.22 1603.37
Pentagon's piledriver on Star looked fatal. The Destroyer off the ropes on Evans looked fatal. Killshot's crossbody dive onto the suplex was amazing. They are doing new stuff EVERY WEEK.
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#3 Posted on 16.5.15 1610.55
Reposted on: 16.5.22 1616.01
I hope somewhere Vince McMahon is taking lessons on how to be a heel authority figure. Mr. McMahon never offered wrestlers the chance to win 7 mystic tokens. Mr. McMahon never put a woman on crutches in a match against men...then made it a ladder match. Most of all, Mr. McMahon never smiled with glee as a face wrestler was thrown through his office window, then poured himself a drink with the guy hanging there.

Cueto's reactions to that were hilarious, and really capped a very entertaining hour.
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