#1 Posted on 25.6.14 2049.04 Reposted on: 25.6.21 2049.52
Picture of OJ Simpson with one of those anti Ghostbusters things on his face. OJ Free TV!
This is ECW Hardcore TV Episode #100
Joey Styles is ringside at the ECW Arena. He brings out The All American Ron Simmons. Simmons gets into the ring, Styles has no choice but to go in and get a word. Simmons is pissed. He claims everyone is scared of him. Styles leaves and heads back to the booth.
The Shah Hack Meyers comes to the ring. Simmons attacks before The Shah can get into the ring and gives him a combination of punches, headbutts and kicks. The fans get on Simmons as he gets back into the ring. Simmons helps Meyers into the ring with a suplex and goes back to clubbing Hack with a series of forearms. Irish Whip to the corner gives Meyers a chance at a comeback, but he gets power slammed by Simmons while blindly making a charge.
"You Still Suck" chant at Simmons. Simmons misses something off the top. Meyers throws a bunch of punches and gets a 'SHAH' from the crowd for every one. The Shah is feeling it and goes off the ropes, but gets caught in the Seminole Slam. That's all for poor Hack. "You Still Suck" at Ron. Simmmons has more to say. He says this is just an example of things to come, he has a lot of ass to kick. He calls out a bunch of guys. HE CALLS OUT 911!
This brings out Paul E Danerously and 911. The ECW Arena hits the roof. Simmons gives 911 a shoulder block as he tries to get into the ring and then a back breaker on the floor. Simmons throws 911 into the ring, pounds on him a little and then hits him with a Seminole Slam. Joey Styles is beside himself, "911 has never been dominated like this before". Simmons gives him another Irish Whip and misses a clothesline. 911 catches Simmons while turning around ... and there's the chokeslam. Paul E hits the ref. 911 gives Simmons another chokeslam. The ECW Arena goes bonkers.
If you don't know about 911, he sucks balls. He doesn't even look that badass, but they built him into this chokeslam machine that the ECW fans totally bought into. If you are just getting into ECW for the first time just go with the whole 911 mystique. It's more fun that way.
Back to Joey Styles. He runs down some upcoming cards.
Prerecorded comments from Terry Funk. You know what he is going to do to Cactus Jack? He is going to kill him. Torture him. Castrate him. Strap him to his 55 Chevy and drag him down main street.
Prerecorded comments from Cactus Jack. He says his name is Mick Foley and he doesn't even know what New Mexico looks like. He goes on to cut another really good Cactus Jack promo that I won't be able to do any justice to. Cactus was the best.
The Shooter Dean Malenko with The Sexiest Man on Earth Jason vs 2 Cold Scorpio for the ECW TV Title.
Well, I didn't even realize Malenko had the TV Title. We get actual introductions. They start off trading tie ups and wrist locks. Malenko finally gets the upper hand with a kick to Scorpio's gut. Malenko goes for a quick pin, but only gets two. After some regrouping Scorpio gets some offense. A leg drop off the second rope gets two and a half. Scorpio slaps on a chin lock that Malenko almost escapes, but Scorpio holds on all the way to the floor and back into the ring. Malenko finally fights it off and then hits a botched drop kick on Scorpio. He goes to work on Scorpio's leg over in the corner.
Malenko has targeted the knee and puts Scorpio in a leg lock. Scorpio fights him off, but Malenko is relentless and is back on the leg. Styles is already counting Scorpio out. Malenko grabs a chair and tries to wrap it around the leg, but Scorpio is able to escape. Scorpio is now fighting on one leg.
Malenko misses a corner charge and Scorpio is able to hit a one legged drop kick. Scorpio looks to make a comeback, but Malenko cuts it short. Malenko attempts a tombstone piledriver that Scorpio is able to reverse into one of his own, and we get a one legged tombstone. Scorpio goes to the ropes, stumbles, makes it to the top and hits a moonsault which should do it but Malenko kicks out at 2. Scorpio goes to the top again and goes for a crossbody, but Malenko throws the ref in the way. Ref is down. Malenko hits a brainbuster. Taz is here in street clothes and scares off Jason.
Taz enters the ring as Malenko is about to apply the Texas Cloverleaf on Scorpio. Malenko feels something lurking behind him. He releases Scorpio's legs and slowly turns around. Taz and Malenko are face to face. Malenko's punch is blocked and Taz hits a nasty looking Tazplex which sends Malenko on his head. Taz puts Scorpio on Malenko, wakes the referee. One, TWO, and somehow Malenko kicks out. Scorpio is back up and in control. Malenko rolls up Scorpio, but the referee is out. By the time he wakes up he only counts one giving Scorpio time to reverse the roll up and get the three! New Television Champion.
Malenko is left alone with Jason. Malenko looks like he is about to fire Jason and possibly break his body, but then thinks better of it and leaves to Jason's relief.
Oh fuck, Public Enemy are in the hood doing their dumb voices dressed as women. They make fun of The WCW. They then get serious. Fuck this.
We are out of time.
Edit: Who screwed up another thread title? This guy.