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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - CHIKARA: For Your Eyes Only
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Toast Jr
Kolbasz
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Since: 30.1.03
From: Stafford Springs, CT

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#1 Posted on 20.11.14 1610.30
Reposted on: 20.11.21 1610.32
I'd never been to a live wrestling event, and when I saw a CHIKARA show was going to be in town I decided to go. I didn't know anything much about CHIKARA, other than many wrestlers had time-travel powers, but what the heck! I'll go and find out.
The event took place in the gym of one of those laser tag/arcade/family fun zone places, so it was
already a step above the high school I had envisioned. About a hundred people showed up, many in CHICKARA shirts, but there were also some CZW, Beyond Wrestling, and Interspecies Wrestling, as well as old WWF and WCW shirts. My husband looked quite stylish in his Mikey Whipwreck dragon shirt and got compliments from the guy taking tickets, Icarus and Dasher Hattfield. No one remarked on my t-shirt, but Frightmare told me he like my hair color (Punky Color Poppy Red (The W at Amazon)).

Music started and we got underway. A gentleman with lots of poofy hair and a cool belt buckle came out and lead us all in resounding CHI-KA-RA chant. He is our ring announcer/MC and I think his name is Justin Loudspeaker. Our first match is a 4 Corner Tag team Elimination Match.

Jervis Cottonbelly and Ashley Remington vs. Some Guy Dressed as X-Pac and Proletariat Boar vs. Obariyon and Kodama vs. The Devistation Corporation (totally not Demolition, I swear!) with Sidney Bakabella (who appears to be Andy Kaufman's lounge singer alter-ego)
This match is for points, and three points gets you a shot at the tag titles. X-Pac and Obariyon (or maybe Kodama) start off and it is underwhelming other than a nice dropkick by Obariyon. My husband utters words no one should ever have to say, "this guy is not as good as real X-Pac." Blaster McMassive of Not Demolition and Jervis come in and Jervis is knocked back into Ashley Remington's arm. They look like they might kiss and my interest is piqued. There is no kissing however, and Jervis is back in wrestling the Boar. Lots of quick tags in and out and it's Kodama and the Boar, now Kodama and Remington, now Max Smashmaster of Not Demolition and Remington and I begin to realize that re-capping is very, very hard. How did you guys who made such detailed ones ever do it? My respect for all of you is large. At any rate, many Flair chops take place and there is much Wooo-ing. Cottonbelly and Remington try to teach Obariyon and Kodama how to hug with varying degrees of success, but are broken up by the heels
(or are they rudos, since they have masks?). Everyone jumps in and a This Is Awe-Some chant breaks out. I wouldn't go that far. This is adequate. Order is restored and Jervis is pinned by the Boar. Soon after, X-Pac is pinned by Kodama (or maybe Obariyon). However Kodama quickly eats the Not Demolition Decapitation, and The Not Demolition Corporation wins! This gives them enough points to challenge for the tag tiles and they yell unintelligibly at the Throwbacks.

My Thoughts: Blaster McMassive is really quite good, everyone else is sort of meh at wrestling, but very fun with their characters. I would like to pet Jeris Cottonbelly's cotton belly. I was warned that CHIKARA crowds are very chanty, and they are. That's okay, I enjoy yelling at things.

Poofy Hair Guys comes back out and hard sells the iPPV this December. Everyone checks under their chairs to see if they win a CHIKARA shirt, and the winner is a guy currently wearing the same shirt. I am unbelievably amused.
It's time for the next match!

Hollowicked vs.Colony member Worker Ant

I have fully given up on recapping and instead will start a chant counter.

1.Hol-o-wicked

When asking Worker Ant trapped in a rest hold if he wants to give up:

2. Daniel Bryan style Yes! Yes! Yes!

3. Another Hol-lo-wicked

And then a dueling

4. Work-er-Ant

Confirming every suspicion I ever had, chants 3 and 4 were started by the same guy.

Worker Ant shouts "Get The Sugar!" because he is an ant and he tries for a pump handle slam, but Hollowicked reverses it into a fancy roll-up for the win. Afterwards there is hand shaking and much Indie Respectâ„¢ is shown, but Soldier Ant runs in and breaks it up.
5. Boo! Boo! (I may have been shouting Boo-urns)

My thoughts: This match was 95% rest holds, which are boring.

Our next match starts right away.

Nokken with Slaash, Mike Schnitzler, and Guy in Green Velour Cape vs. Shynron with gymnastics

The guys sitting behind me are all wearing Shynron T-shirts and I can see why. He is better than all 10 of the previous guys put together. Chants begin before he finishes front and back handspringing down the entrance ramp.

1. Lets-Go-Shynron (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

Shynron is jumping all over the place and reverses a powerbomb from Nokken into a hurricanrana in what to this point is the best spot of the day. But then Shynron hurls himself out the ring with a 450 splash onto all the heels at ringside and just clobbers them all. It looks unbelievably painful for everyone involved, especially Shynron. This now becomes the best spot of the day and chant breaks out:

2. CHI-KA-RA

I would have permitted a This is Awesome chant here.
Once the heels recover they do the usual heel shenanigans and Nokken wins. After the match the heels celebrate until Slaash takes out Schnittzler and reveals himself to not actually be Slaash but Pinky Sanchez! I don't know who he is, but it is quite a big deal to the audience. We get two chants:

3. Pink-E! Pink-E!

And then:

4. Wel-come back! Wel-come back!

Pinky is not as happy to see us as we are to see him and he calls the audience insolent, which leads to two more chants:

5. In-So-Lent

And:

6. We are insolent (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

My Thoughts: Shynron is great, I would watch him again. I guess he has only been wrestling for a couple years, but he is one to keep on the radar. This match seemed to be Nokken standing in the middle of the ring while Shynron wrestled around him and this is not wrong.

Next out we have Jimmy Jacobs with a bunch of lucha masks on a trophy belt. Apparently these guys are all dead and he has scalped them. His reign of terror and chaos in CHIKARA will continue! There is nothing anyone can do about it! Jacobs is the best talker I've seen here. I'd listen to his evil rant all day, but he's interrupted and out comes our CHIKARA Grand Champion, Icarus, to point out that Jacobs is merely the stooge, and the real mastermind (and murderer) is still out there. Icarus is ready to end the madness- unless the one pulling the strings is too chicken. Ominous music plays, the crowd starts booing like crazy, and out comes Deucalion. He's about twice as big as any of the other CHIKARA guys and is dressed like Bane if Bane were a member of The Shield. He gets right up in Icarus's face and they have a mighty staredown. All the faces come running out and naturally this brings out all the heels. Icarus stops them from fighting and demands a match to end all the madnesses at the iPPV.
CHI-KA-RA CHI-KA-RA! It is done, the match is made! I'm told when Deucalion beats you, you really are dead and your head goes on the trophy belt. So Icarus demanding a match makes him brave indeed.

My thoughts: Even for not knowing what was the heck was going on, this was a pretty good segment. Jimmy Jacobs should talk for everyone. Deucalion has a fantastic spooky voice, he should be the new Vincent Price.

We get one more match before our intermission.
The Osirian Portal vs Oleg the Usurper and The Savage Jaka with Sidney Bakabella

Oleg is every gladiator/viking/barbarian trope rolled into one. He wants to kill, kill, kill and the crowd picks that up quickly:

1. Kill! Kill! Kill!

Oleg quickly tackles Amasis of the Portal and runs off with him back to the merchandise table. Amasis spends the rest of the match crawling back toward the ring on his stomach. When he finally get backs in the ring his legs magically work! The crowd goes wild:

2. Funky Pharaoh! Funky Pharaoh!

Amasis starts punching:

3. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10

The Osirian Portal is on fire!

4. Let's-go-Portal (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

Bakabella slips Jaka a roll of nickels and he punches Ophidian. The roll explodes and coins go everywhere! I am now the proud owner of a souvenir nickel. The audience tries to get the Portal to rally:

5. Let's-go-Portal (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

It works! The Portal two-man suplexes Oleg and then they both pin him!
After the match, Bakabella berates Oleg and calls him a loser. Oleg doesn't deserve this, let's chant for him:

6. Oleg! Oleg! Oleg!

Which dissolves into:

7. (To the El Generico tune) Oleg-oleg-oleg-oleg! Oleg! Oleg!

I am delighted, and I guess Bakabella is too, because they all make up and head out.

My thoughts: Oleg might be the most committed actor they have. Everything he does is in his mad barbarian character. Even at the merch table. Even in the parking lot. Even at home with his wife.

After intermission Puffy Hair tells that sadly Delirious will not be at the show tonight as advertised. I don't know who Delirious is, so I don't care. Instead we have another match.

A Luchadore a with a Snowflake Outfit, being lead on a leash by Jimmy Jacobs and A Gimp (but oddly enough the gimp is not on a chain) vs. Eddie Kingston.
My husband informs me that Eddie Kingston is a Big Fucking Deal. Apparently he is too big a deal to work house shows, because this is the entire match:

A suplex!
A powerbomb!

1. One More Time! One More Time!

Another powerbomb!

2. One More Time! One More Time!

Kingston makes a "give me a break" face and the audience promises:

3. Last one! Last one!

Yet another powerpomb!
Three punches!
Backfist to the Future!
One-Two-Three and Snowflake is out. Jacobs jumps in and gets in Kingston's face, but Ultra Mantis Black comes in for the save!

4. Ul-tra Man-tis! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

The Gimp jumps in, but Kingston chases him out of the ring and to backstage while Jacobs and Ultra Mantis proceed to have a very nice match. It ends when Snowflake trips Mantis with his chains and Jacobs get the pin with a spear.

Our next match is about to start, and out comes senior CHIKARA official, Bryce Remsburg. The audience goes wild!

1. Bryce! Bryce! Bryce!

Seriously, this is the most over guy of the night. He got the biggest pop, hands down.
Juan Franisco de Cornado (with Enya music and very slow entrance) vs. Frightmare

Juan Fransico has the boring guy gimmick. This gimmick is death. You know why? Boring things are boring! He cuts a long meandering promo that succeeds in boring me! Finally the wrestling starts and these two put on another good match. I guess all the really good guys go in the second half of the show.
We get chants depending on who is doing cool things:

2. Yawn-Fran-Sico (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

3. Fright-Mare! Fright-Mare!

4. CHI-KA-RA! CHI-KA-RA!

5. Yawn! Yawn!

6. Fright-Mare! Fright-Mare!

7. Bryce! Bryce! Bryce!

8. Let's Go Frightmare!

Frightmare wins with the same fancy reversal roll-up that Hollowicked did. After the match a displeased Juan Fransico starts a beatdown on Frightmare! Where is Hollowicked? That question is never answered, because instead Ashley Remington is out for the save.

9. Let's Go Sailing!

Remington succeeds in saving Frightmare, but Juan runs off threatening to take Remington down with the best suplexes in the business. Maybe he is going to call in 1996 Taz? They do have time travel powers after all.

My thoughts: More good wrestling, but never do a boring guy gimmick. Also, what the heck happened to Hollowicked? I'd be pretty pissed if I were Frightmare. I think I want to become a pro wrestling referee.

It's time for the last match of the night, and this one is for the Tag Team Titles and it is a 2 out of 3 falls!

The Throwbacks vs. 3.0

Even though they are evil Canadians, 3.0 get a chant as they enter:

1. 3-point-0! 3-point-0!

There is no chanting as The Throwbacks enter because everyone participates in their elaborate sports-themed entrance with about half of the audience (and half of 3.0) joining in on the big huddle. This match is great. Match of the Night *****~! Lots of mat work from Mr. Touchdown of Team Throwback and Scott Parker of 3.0 and lots of high impact spots from Dasher Hatfield and Shane Mathews. And super kicks! So many super kicks! Super kicks are the new piledriver! All of this garners a chant:

2. This-is -Wrestling!

And I don't disagree.
As Mr. Touchdown comes in to save face in peril Hatfield we get another chant:

3. Mr. Touchdown! Mr. Touchdown!

And then the rallying cry :

5. Throw-Backs! Throw-Backs!

The Throwbacks deliver a solid 3-D on Parker and we have pin number one! 3.0 decides now is the time to heel it up, but the Throwbacks will have none of that nonsense and quickly 3-D Mathews.

That's it, the champs retain and everyone goes home happy!

My thoughts: This was a great match with just the right mix of comedy spots and real wrestling. Mr. Touchdown and Scott Parker are both attractive and when they mat wrestle it is hot. I was little surprised there weren't more chants, but I think everyone was too caught up in the match.

My thoughts on the show overall: Fun! I had a good time, but I don't think it would be half as fun if you weren't watching it live. I wouldn't go buying the iPPV or driving hours and hours to see this, but if they come to my neck of the woods again I will go. All the performers are very friendly and were posing for pictures and signing things for anyone who asked. They REALLY REALLY REALLY want you to buy their t-shirts, but when the smallest size you have is a Large, that doesn't help me much. There were 38 chants, plus the ones that occurred before I started counting, so if you enjoying shouting this is a good place for you.
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OndaGrande
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#2 Posted on 24.11.14 1807.23
Reposted on: 24.11.21 1808.16
Glad you liked it. Chikara is one of my favorite promotions ever, though I will admit that the breakup into the "Wrestling Is..." mini-promotions angle before the big comeback sort of took too much steam out of them for my tastes. The current product is still good but not as great as it used to be IMO.
The ring announcer's gimmick name is Gavin Loudspeaker btw.
Hopefully this got you into things enough to make you want to check out other indy shows in your area
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