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The W - Pro Wrestling - your WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT for 1/16/2003!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1291 days
Last activity: 1289 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
It`s gonna SNOW! I`m distracted and will try to keep it together and also try to cuss a lot more than usual. Fucking fuck! YEAH! FUCK YEAH! FUCK! Fuck! Fuck. YEah. Fuck yeah.

WHAT WORKED-
- Dawn Marie is actually fabulous reciting a slight variation of the Anna Nicole Smith post-funeral-of-that-90-year-old-millionaire-she-married speech. How could you people turn on this angle? It`s developed a life of it`s own. And faking your own death to get more pussy? What`s more mack-like than that? what the fuck is wrong with you people.

-Eddy and Chavo come out to racist signs and it fucking bums me out- but then they mention Grandma and who is a greater cheater so I am stoked. Then Cena and B2 come out and I`m less stoked. The crowd is confused because the Guerrerros wrestle face but they are still considered completely evil- what to do? Eddy decides to just wrestle like a motherfucker and let the crowd figure it out. Can of Crowd is behind the Guerrerros and Eddy bumps like a freak early to make Bull Buchanon look less turdlike. Cena does a nice Snap Suplex and then they go to a front facelock and the crowd can`t figure out what to do. Cena and B2 earn some hard respect by taking GIGANTIC Jerry bumps and they do a whole dogpile to the outside with Eddy getting hurt. I haven`t read any spoilers so I don`t know if it`s legit. Chavo sucks it up for his sangre and goes on offense, busting up B2 and hitting the FROGSPLASH for the pin. AWESOME. I guess they willed Chavo his uncle`s finisher and it`s awesome. Cena and B2 break up and I`m wondering what can they POSSIBLY do with Bull Buchanon now? Fued with A-Train maybe? Cena has a new partner and I don`t recognize him. I`m lacking information and I blame myself.

- Benoit is pissed. It`s fun. The feud recap made Edge`s offense look almost credible. Benoit needed to channel Dusty Rhodes: ``My babehs back home, in pulick if you weeeill, have sacrificed... SACRIFICED... for the Canadian Dreammmmmm, Chrisbenwa. Angle- you big, you bad, lord knows you ugly but ah`m the cripplah... THE CRIPPLAH... and I`m gonna put something on you that even AJAX won`t take off! Don`t make me do it! KURT! You were a BROTHAH to me! A BROTHAH TO ME! DON`T MAKE ME DO IT!`` Then Benoit could get suspended and come out as the Midnite Rider and quote April Wine instead of the Allman Brothers. It would fucking rule. I mean fuck, it`s CHRIS BENOIT. He could read the Thunder Bay phone book and it would motherfucking rule because you know it all points to Benoit beating the fuck out of a motherfucker. What the fuck else could you want?

- Your lord and saviour- Matt Hardy- comes in and tells suck ass Billy Kidman to shut his fucking babbling piehole. He then tells Funaki to shut his big fat mouth and shove it up his big fat striped ass and I LOVE LOVE LOVE this new little fued. YEAH MATT! Fuck those motherfuckers playa hating on your helping of a troubled youth. If they hate instead of congratulate then fuck both of them! Fuck yeah! Break your leg up their scrawny weasly asses! Fuck Yeah! If you ain`t MFer then you ain`t SHIT. Punk the motherfuckers out! Punk`em out, Matt!

- Nunzio takes on Tajiri. It is perfectly fine wrestling. Nunzio did a nice reversal into a Wakigatame. He did some nice mat stuff. Tajiri opts to go lucha with the spinny Reverse Gory Special into a swanky German suplex amd I dug the Handspring Elbow. The ending was really elaborate to set up the nice Rolling Shoulder Breaking Thing into a Fujiwara Armbar.

- Dawn Marie is dressed like Vampirella and I await Papa Shango to come in and raise Fuckmaster Al from the dead.

- The Big Show theme rules. A-Train`s isn`t as good. A-Train is a better wrestler than Big Show. Heyman gets on the stick but doesn`t get all flaming so it isn`t very much fun. Brock`s theme pales in comparison to Big Show`s. HEY! It`s Rey Misterio Jr! Big Show takes that bump he tends to take, all after Brock F5`s A-Train and Rey hits his MOR-TAL~! for the pin- HEY! I`d being lying if I said it was an actual match. Since this was a Big Show match that was cut short and looked to be the blow-off to a sure-to-be-completely-fruitless fued with Rey Rey and A-train, I`d say this worked like a motherfucker. We can get on with our lives now.

- They go ahead and start the fued and I`m filled with love and admiration for Matt Hardy who will hopefully kick the fuck out of the playa-hating Funaki- the motherfucker. Matt hits a fucking BEAUTIFUL elbow. MFer Shannon cheats like a motherfucker and sets up a SWANK modified Ace Crusher. Funaki throws nice punches for such a punkass motherfucker. Matt breaks Funaki`s back and they do some stuff before Funaki foresakes his Japanese roots and does the shittiest WWE Bulldog ever. Matt leans into the Inverted Rolling DDT like a KING and makes the jealous creep called Funaki look godlike. MFer Moore and punk ass motherfucker Kidman stick their noses into the proceedings and it MAKES THE ANNOUNCERS GO INSANE BECAUSE FUNAKI HITS A FLYING BODY TACKLE AND THE ANNOUNCERS ARE POSITIVE THAT THIS WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY GOTTEN A PIN ON SOMEONE IN THE YEAR 2003. C`mon guys, this isn`t Ricky Steamboat vs Don Kernoodle. Either way, while chickenmounting gossipper Kidman was running off at the piehole with the ref, Matt had time to hit a Diamond Cutter and pin that mealy mouthed jealous bastard shitheel Funaki and get the sweet sweet victory. Shannon loses Mattitude concentration and gets some much needed and much appreciated Mattitude Discipline.

- TEAM ANGLE fucking RULES. Chris Benoit FUCKING RULES. Edge gets fired up in these kinda things. They give me a commercial to catch my breath. They start mid match and Benoit is kicking motherfuckers asses. Haas takes an astounding ass-stomping as Benoit uses him as example for Angle and I LOVE IT. Angle cheats to get Haas to offense and he does a Strangle Hold Gamma until Benoit decides to beat him to death. Edge tags in and he quickly assumes the role he does best- being beaten into a fine paste. Benoit is tagged in after Edge hitting some hideous offense and Shelton Benjamin lariats Benoit to allow Angle to get in the ring in the most assholish way possible. Angle gets his ankle lock reversed and he sprints to tag Benjamin who takes a manly assbeating from Benoit and Edge. Angle is on FIRE as he cheats like a complete bastard to get Edge back into the barrell. Team Angle hit some nice MX channels Crazy Max double teams and I`m so in love with this match. Edge fights out of the chinlock like Dusty Rhodes and the crowd is getting into it so they cut him off and gets them more into his comeback. Angle comes in and Edge fights out and Angle cuts him off with a sweeet Released German. Haas is funny with the crazy face while twisting Edge`s neck. Edge finally makes the tag... NO! Angle with the German and this is soooooo fabulously Southern. FINALLY Edge makes the tag and crowd explodes and they make Benoit look strong going into the Rumble by having him kill all of Team Angle. Benoit gets the crutch and this is SOOOOO mothfucking great as he beats Angle with it. GREAT GREAT MOTHERFUCKING GREAT. And i`m assuming that Benoit is deeply not getting the title if tonight is the indicator.

WHAT DIDn`T WORK-
- Stephanie comes out and says that Undertaker is coming back. Then she announces a Big Show match. The partner to be named my save this. Prolly not.

- Nathan Jones supposedly carried Scott Steiner once in WWA and he did have a watchable match with Shinya Hashimoto. He`s good then, right? HA! Jesus, I would hope he is worthy of WWE RAW. Please God.

- Hey, Bill Demott gets on the stick and owns up to being A BULLY! HE`S A BULLY! Rikishi does EVERYTHING he can do to make this match not suck. Demott fights out of an armbar with punches so loose that Lance Storm would have been proud to call them his own. Demott works on the arm until Rikishi misses an avalanche. Rikishi hits a sweeet superkick and they get a big pop for Rikishi and then they do a roll-up with Demott grabbing the tights and everybody hates it. Demott loses chances for me to like him because he doesn`t stick his head directly up Rikishi`s festering ass like a MAN. Another motherfucking week where I cannot say the word ``pungent``.

- Torrie acting was not good. The smacking was fun. The lamp was a nice touch. Whorehound Al not in the scene actually moving keeps it down here.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.




YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
Dustin
Cotto








Since: 4.6.02
From: Pratt, Kansas

Since last post: 3534 days
Last activity: 825 days
#2 Posted on
Thus making my Thursday night complete. Thank you Dean, I'm sure I'll read this again tommorrow cause it motherfucking rules!
Rick
Tocino








Since: 9.1.02
From: Babson Park, Ma

Since last post: 3542 days
Last activity: 3462 days
AIM:  
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
Thats fucking right, Dean.

Much like Scott Steiner, the WWE MUST banish Nathan Jones to the nether regions of Raw where he will not ruin the goodness that is Smackdown.

Smackdown is a DeMott, a Rikishi and an A-train away from perfection

DrOp
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 2235 days
Last activity: 1102 days
#4 Posted on
DEAN said a LOT:

    How could you people turn on this angle? It`s developed a life of it`s own. And faking your own death to get more pussy? What`s more mack-like than that? what the fuck is wrong with you people.




DEAN, you're analysis make this MUCH more tolerable. Can you do an audio of this that I can overlay onto my VCR?



    Benoit needed to channel Dusty Rhodes: ``My babehs back home, in pulick if you weeeill, have sacrificed... SACRIFICED... for the Canadian Dreammmmmm, Chrisbenwa. Angle- you big, you bad, lord knows you ugly but ah`m the cripplah... THE CRIPPLAH... and I`m gonna put something on you that even AJAX won`t take off! Don`t make me do it! KURT! You were a BROTHAH to me! A BROTHAH TO ME! DON`T MAKE ME DO IT!`` Then Benoit could get suspended and come out as the Midnite Rider and quote April Wine instead of the Allman Brothers. It would fucking rule. I mean fuck, it`s CHRIS BENOIT. He could read the Thunder Bay phone book and it would motherfucking rule because you know it all points to Benoit beating the fuck out of a motherfucker. What the fuck else could you want?




God, you have just brought back SO many memories of NWA, Magnum TA, Dusty versus Flair ad nauseum, and Dusty stealing everyone else's heat (and gimmicks) when needed (think Road Warriors)to stay on top way too long and continue to attempt to hold Flair down by not submiting to the figure four. And, man, the blithering, rambling promos laced with homoerotic lisps and enunciations. Man. I had completely forgotten. Thanks DEAN.


DrOp--being in the 30-and-over club does have its advantages.






...And Marking Out
Slashwrestling.com
Wienerville
The Great Thomas
Sujuk








Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 3376 days
Last activity: 3376 days
#5 Posted on

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Dawn Marie is dressed like Vampirella and I await Papa Shango to come in and raise Fuckmaster Al from the dead.
I thought it would have been cool if Undertaker did this, but if Papa Shango did the Lazarus deal on ol' Al, I would pay TWO hundred dollars to see it!!!



"Strong and Beautiful, Just Like Al Wilson."

DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1291 days
Last activity: 1289 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by DrOp
    DEAN said a LOT:

      How could you people turn on this angle? It`s developed a life of it`s own. And faking your own death to get more pussy? What`s more mack-like than that? what the fuck is wrong with you people.




    DEAN, you're analysis make this MUCH more tolerable. Can you do an audio of this that I can overlay onto my VCR?


    DR: I've actually covered my bases and decided to concentrate on having a weird affection for the TRULY awesome Cult Of Mattitude.




      Benoit needed to channel Dusty Rhodes: ``My babehs back home, in pulick if you weeeill, have sacrificed... SACRIFICED... for the Canadian Dreammmmmm, Chrisbenwa. Angle- you big, you bad, lord knows you ugly but ah`m the cripplah... THE CRIPPLAH... and I`m gonna put something on you that even AJAX won`t take off! Don`t make me do it! KURT! You were a BROTHAH to me! A BROTHAH TO ME! DON`T MAKE ME DO IT!`` Then Benoit could get suspended and come out as the Midnite Rider and quote April Wine instead of the Allman Brothers. It would fucking rule. I mean fuck, it`s CHRIS BENOIT. He could read the Thunder Bay phone book and it would motherfucking rule because you know it all points to Benoit beating the fuck out of a motherfucker. What the fuck else could you want?




    God, you have just brought back SO many memories of NWA, Magnum TA, Dusty versus Flair ad nauseum, and Dusty stealing everyone else's heat (and gimmicks) when needed (think Road Warriors)to stay on top way too long and continue to attempt to hold Flair down by not submiting to the figure four. And, man, the blithering, rambling promos laced with homoerotic lisps and enunciations. Man. I had completely forgotten. Thanks DEAN.


    DrOp--being in the 30-and-over club does have its advantages.




DR: Yeah, fuck the bullshit- NOBODY was a better orator than Dusty Rhodes when he was fired up. NOBODY. Not Flair, not Arn Anderson, not Jake the Snake. Dusty would get all biblical and apocalyptic and shit. He was awesome. Then he would get in the ring.....

DEAN.

(edited by DEAN RASMUSSEN on 17.1.03 1031)


YES, I AM DEAN.
CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

Since last post: 8 min.
Last activity: 4 min.
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#7 Posted on

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Yeah, fuck the bullshit- NOBODY was a better orator than Dusty Rhodes when he was fired up. NOBODY. Not Flair, not Arn Anderson, not Jake the Snake. Dusty would get all biblical and apocalyptic and shit. He was awesome. Then he would get in the ring.....

    DEAN.

Boy, you sure would have loved Wednesday's TNA filibusterin' - Dusty must have said "a MIDGET... beatin' off in a TRASHCAN!!!!" A MILLION TIMES.



©CRZ™
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1291 days
Last activity: 1289 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
What the hell?

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 8 hours
#9 Posted on

    DR: I've actually covered my bases and decided to concentrate on having a weird affection for the TRULY awesome Cult Of Mattitude.


You've barely scratched the surface on the distrubing yet beautiful prison love that Matt and Shannon share with one another.





DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1291 days
Last activity: 1289 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
I hope they don't screw it all up by having Shannon turn on Matt any time soon.

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Cerebus
Scrapple








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 11 hours
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.74

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    It`s gonna SNOW! I`m distracted and will try to keep it together and also try to cuss a lot more than usual. Fucking fuck! YEAH! FUCK YEAH! FUCK! Fuck! Fuck. YEah. Fuck yeah.


Were you ever in the navy cause I've only heard sailors curse more then this... but it cool, it gives you character.


    Also originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Torrie acting was not good. The smacking was fun. The lamp was a nice touch. Whorehound Al not in the scene actually moving keeps it down here.


Look closer, I thought his head turns when the lamp comes crashing down on Torrie as not to get in in his face. It looked like he slightly turns his head to the left in the casket. As I had said in another thread, I thought from reading the spoilers that this was gonna be cool as fuck and I sticking to that assumption. I was laughing my ass off at the 'drama' displayed by everyone involved. Torrie's non-acting reminds me of Miss Elizabeth back during the superpowers days and Dawn, when hamming it up for the camera makes me think of Anna Kournikova .

...YEAH! Anna Kournikova. Neither of them can do what they obviously get paid good money to do very well but they both look great on camera in tight clothing.



Even You Can Prevent Triple H

...it's a sign from God!
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