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The W - Pro Wrestling - your WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 4/14/2005!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1299 days
Last activity: 1296 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
I missed a bunch of stuff over the last couple weeks. I have 6 Yuengling Porters and 6 Natural Lights. Hopefully I won't need them all. I'm here for you. The crossword puzzles clear my head. I'm ready for action. Oh yeah.

WHAT WORKED-

- Torrie Wilson comes out and Tazz is SPRUNG! Dawn Marie comes out and they wrestle. Dawn Marie with the axe-handle. Torrie does the catapult into the corner way better than the WOW trainees ever did, so we have that. They do a nice Eddy-Malenko roll-up sequence- which in and off itself is five years past being as anachronistic as the Airplane Spin, but I digress..... Dawn Marie has far better punches than anyone in the opening match. Dawn Marie makes Torrie's Swinging Neckbreaker not look GLOWlike and you forget that Dawn Marie can actually work. She also has a really big butt. It's great.

- Carlito's Cabana is fun because Carlito gives Chicagoans shit. If he beats Rey Rey upside the head with a deepdish pizza, this will be a keeper. Actually, Carlito getting all excited about stirring up shit between Rey and Eddy is pretty great. See, if this was Mexico, they would really dwell on the fact that Mexicans and Puerto Ricans hate each other. Instead they kinda bring out some guys. HEY! It's Joey Matthews! Awesome. Somebody who can actually punch. the furs are soooooo boss. Okay, they beat the hell out of Rey Rey and this is pretty beautiful. Forget this breaking up of Rey and Eddy. This would be a feud with legs.

- JBL is mad at his cabinet. He runs into the dinner theatre actor assuming the role of a delivery man. Eddy comes in BEAUTIFULLY CHEWS THE SCENERY. Rey Rey gets scorched by the sheer Mink Stole-level great over the top delivery by Eddy. Eddy is so fucking god-like going all thirty-five levels of rationalization about fucking over Rey.

- Angle is pissed off at the Diva woman and Booker T. Angle is mad at the Diva woman reminding him that Eddy made him his little bitch at Wrestlemania. He is silent and sullen. She cannot handle her sassiness. Too much sass for him to handle. Sassiness overwhelms Angle. Angle. Not Handle. Sass. So much Sassiness and Angle cannot handle it. Her Sassiness crushes him like a clubbing forearm- yet it isn't a forearm, it is merely her sassiness- and it is sassiness to the level that Angle cannot handle. Her sassiness plus Angle equals not handling. There is a level of sassiness that Angle is comfortable with. The Diva supplies more sassiness than the comfortable level can handle. Thus Angle is not able to handle it. If one were to look at Angle, you would know that there is only so much sassiness he can handle, and you would also see that the Diva brings a higher amount of sassiness.

- Paul London is absolutely Jay Youngbloodesque in sheer babyfaceness. Paul wants a fight and we can only hope it happens. Awesome! Chavo comes out. Chavo talks to London and Kidman attacks from behind! London CLEANS HOOSE! This is a good little night of setting up some semi-hate-filled fueds. London rules. Chavo RULES.

- Angle and Eddy are a-wrestling. Eddy is so over. Eddy takes it to the mat and you remember that he wrestled Lyger 600 times in 1995. Tazz once again denies the existence of Iron Sheik's gold medal. Eddy flows into a crossarm-breaker and Angle sells it like he is in New Japan. They work a headlock. Eddy gets him in an armbar. SUDDENLY! SUPLEXES! Commercial! More beer! Peeing! Angle with European uppercuts. Angle with the Vertical Suplex and a bearhug! Angle with the sweet cut off with into a Released Belly to Belly. Eddy with the rana countering the Angle Slam. Shenanigans leads up to a Schoolboy and a two count. German Suplex and the psychology of the match isn't going to make you forget Hashimoto G-1 97 or anything. Angle with the Body Vice. They fight at the toprope and Eddy wins and goes Frogsplash first into Angle's knees and we go to a commercial. We return and Eddy is getting busted up. I dig Angle going all Strongstyle with the clubbing forearms to set up the bearhug and for cutting off Eddy's comebacks. Eddy hits two out of three amigos and Angle no-sells it into an Angle slam and Eddy no-sells it and then it's nearfalls galore. I would like to welcome you to Manami Toyota versus Kyoko Inoue 2005. They kick out of everything and this is starting to annoy me. And then a fucking ref bump? Jesus. And Rey Rey comes down and fucks up Eddy's chance and there you go. I dunno. that match was a lot like this Natural Light I'm choking down.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- JBL is all intense. Booker T and Orlando Jordan wrestle. They edit the hell out of OJ's Rocky Johnson punches. And then it gets booked a whole bunch. Big Show comes out and the Bashams flee the run-in. Teddy Long ECWs it into an impromptu bullshit crappily wrestled handicap match. And Booker T wins with his crappy scissor kick finisher.

- VIVA LAS DIVAS! When you can't bring yourself to jack off to Girls Gone Wild commercials!

- What is this Titanium Turbo bullshit. Why would I go to the WHORE that is T2 when I could have the sweet honest true love of MicroTouch? Where is the romance? Are we THIS jaded?

- John Cena has something. I wonder if he SWERVED JBL? Could he have? Could he? Would he? Could I drink beer this fast or is time actually fricking standing still? Oh 9 o'clock will you ever get here? Swerve coming in t-minus 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 and........... here comes JBL. JBL is wearing the BELT! and they draw out the SWERVE! Natural Light? What was my wife thinking? I guess she didn't want to actually knee me in the groin. I should count my blessings. It's slaughterhouse scrapings! If only JBL could finish off the CARRIE tip and kill every one in the auditorium with his telekinetic powers. But shit- how long would THAT take? Boy, what a crappy new belt.

- Heidenreich. HEY! It's Phil Brown! NWA VA REPRESENTIN! Phil can make Heidenreich look good. Yes he can. Go see the indies where you see a guy like Phil Brown wrestle an actual match. En Lieu, he sells for this choade. It was a fine poem though.

- There's nobody better than George Strait? I was driving home yesterday and Big John Tremble played two Freddy Fender songs back to back on his radio show. I don't ever remember singing along to every word of a George Strait song like I sang along to "Before The Next Teardrop Falls" and "Wasted Days". So yeah, some folks are probably better than George Strait.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.




YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
Mayhem
Scrapple








Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 day
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.16

I know that we've only seen them one time (and that being in a "skit"), but MNM may restore my faith in tag team wrestling. They just look, well ... COOL! ... and Holy Moses is Melina smoking-ass hottt?!?!

But they'll probably be stuck on Velocity in about a month.



BABY BOY MAYHEM

Summer 2005
BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 8 hours
Last activity: 3 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.00

    The crossword puzzles clear my head. I'm ready for action. Oh yeah.



Yes, they've become somewhat of an addiction lately. They seem to be getting larger as well, but it could be the states. I tried to create my own one day thinking it would be a cinch ... I never got past three words.





Shem the Penman
Toulouse








Since: 16.1.02
From: The Off-Center of the Universe (aka Philadelphia)

Since last post: 271 days
Last activity: 69 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.04
    Originally posted by Mayhem

    I know that we've only seen them one time (and that being in a "skit"), but MNM may restore my faith in tag team wrestling. They just look, well ... COOL! ... and Holy Moses is Melina smoking-ass hottt?!?!

    But they'll probably be stuck on Velocity in about a month.


I'm excited to see how they work out as well. Of course, if the bookers continue to forge ahead with the Guerrero/Mysterio breakup, MNM have pretty thin pickings for opponents -- Haas and Holly? A face-turned Bashams? Or is it gonna be Welcome to Dudleyville? Feh, feh, and extremely feh.

I would actually pay good hard cash to see an AMW/MNM feud, based on tonight alone. C'mon, Vince, get out the checkbook already.



Ling-Ling into battle go
Fulfill destiny of the soul
Sever skull of adversary
Shove it in the poo-poo hole

All the children sing:
Kill kill kill kill die die die
Kill kill kill kill die die die....
Excalibur05
Knackwurst








Since: 19.1.02
From: Minnesota

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 2 min.
AIM:  
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.73
"Diva Girl"? What, no love for Paisley? Prince Iakeau is gonna be PISSED!



Tonight I wanna ruin my life,
I wanna throw it all away,
In a spectacular way
thecubsfan
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 3 hours
Last activity: 40 sec.
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00

    See, if this was Mexico, they would really dwell on the fact that Mexicans and Puerto Ricans hate each other.


Dwell? Carlito and Rey would be feuding till at least 2011 if this was Mexico. Which I guess is just dwelling in Mexico so never mind.

They're running a Capos vs Pierroth/Perro Jr. match next month in Chicago, and after figuring out the "Puerto Rico's el Hijo de Pierroth = rudo!" stuff didn't work well out in the suburbs, I can't even imagine how it'll get for that match. Should be fun.

(edited by thecubsfan on 15.4.05 0113)


thecubsfan.com - CMLLBlog
Eddie Famous
Andouille








Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 341 days
Last activity: 335 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.71

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    There's nobody better than George Strait? I was driving home yesterday and Big John Tremble played two Freddy Fender songs back to back on his radio show. I don't ever remember singing along to every word of a George Strait song like I sang along to "Before The Next Teardrop Falls" and "Wasted Days". So yeah, some folks are probably better than George Strait.


Dean- do you have RFDTV and are you able to watch the Wilburn Brothers' and Porter shows?



As of 2/28/05: 101 pounds since December 7, 2004
OFFICIAL THREE-MONTH COUNT: 112 pounds on March 9, 2005
As of 4/11/05: 120 pounds "I've lost a junior featherweight"
Phantom
Frankfurter








Since: 17.3.02

Since last post: 2382 days
Last activity: 2359 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.86
    Originally posted by Shem the Penman
      Originally posted by Mayhem

      I know that we've only seen them one time (and that being in a "skit"), but MNM may restore my faith in tag team wrestling. They just look, well ... COOL! ... and Holy Moses is Melina smoking-ass hottt?!?!

      But they'll probably be stuck on Velocity in about a month.


    I'm excited to see how they work out as well. Of course, if the bookers continue to forge ahead with the Guerrero/Mysterio breakup, MNM have pretty thin pickings for opponents -- Haas and Holly? A face-turned Bashams? Or is it gonna be Welcome to Dudleyville? Feh, feh, and extremely feh.

    I would actually pay good hard cash to see an AMW/MNM feud, based on tonight alone. C'mon, Vince, get out the checkbook already.
I’m officially predicting the Dudleys to return in a babyface role to feud with MNM for the belts. Here’s hoping they’ve been able to recharge during their break.
FurryHippie
Frankfurter








Since: 29.10.02
From: New York

Since last post: 2987 days
Last activity: 1674 days
AIM:  
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.73
Are they really "MNM"? I thought one was Nitro and the other was Mercury, wouldnt that make them "NNM" or MNN"? Unless their name stands for something else...obviously I wasn't enthralled enough to pay full attention.

By the way, count me as the first person to say they look terrible, ridiculously stupid....and just....well....really un-cool.

I'll always hate Nitro from the time he had NO CLUE how to referee during his old Raw Bischoff days. Augh. They put people on TV WAYYYY too early.
SchippeWreck
Banger








Since: 26.3.03
From: Glendale, CA

Since last post: 6 hours
Last activity: 9 sec.
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.53
    Originally posted by FurryHippie
    Are they really "MNM"? I thought one was Nitro and the other was Mercury, wouldnt that make them "NNM" or MNN"? Unless their name stands for something else...obviously I wasn't enthralled enough to pay full attention.

    By the way, count me as the first person to say they look terrible, ridiculously stupid....and just....well....really un-cool.

MNM=Mercury, Nitro, Melina

The debut was cool, but I'm reserving judgment on their overall talent until I see them in a match.

(edited by SchippeWreck on 15.4.05 0854)


tarnish
Frankfurter








Since: 13.2.02
From: Back in the Heart of Hali

Since last post: 508 days
Last activity: 7 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.03

    Originally posted by DEAN
    Rey Rey gets scorched by the sheer Mink Stole-level great over the top delivery by Eddy.


Is that really the first John Waters reference ever in a Smackdown! Workrate Report? Or have I missed others?

Because soooooooo many things make sense now.

Now I NEED to see the Al Wilson chronicles as written by DEAN and realized by John Waters. Maybe I could settle for Waters remaking Pink Flamingos with an all-wrestling cast, culminating in someone eating a lump of shit from the log JBL left in a gym bag, with Vince hopping around like a jumping bean on speed screaming "FEESHEEEEEEES" over and over.

Uh. On second thought, this post never happened. Carry on.




/tarnish...

Buggrit, buggrit, Millenium Hand & Shrimp!
The 5th Horseman
Kolbasz








Since: 23.10.02
From: Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Since last post: 3011 days
Last activity: 3000 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.00
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Angle is pissed off at the Diva woman and Booker T. Angle is mad at the Diva woman reminding him that Eddy made him his little bitch at Wrestlemania. He is silent and sullen. She cannot handle her sassiness. Too much sass for him to handle. Sassiness overwhelms Angle. Angle. Not Handle. Sass. So much Sassiness and Angle cannot handle it. Her Sassiness crushes him like a clubbing forearm- yet it isn't a forearm, it is merely her sassiness- and it is sassiness to the level that Angle cannot handle. Her sassiness plus Angle equals not handling. There is a level of sassiness that Angle is comfortable with. The Diva supplies more sassiness than the comfortable level can handle. Thus Angle is not able to handle it. If one were to look at Angle, you would know that there is only so much sassiness he can handle, and you would also see that the Diva brings a higher amount of sassiness.

Angle tapped out to her sassiness? Is Diva sass > Olympic gold medals?
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 3 hours
Last activity: 2 hours
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.45
    Originally posted by The 5th Horseman
    Angle tapped out to her sassiness? Is Diva sass > Olympic gold medals?


Sass appears higher on the periodic table. It's atomic density is startling.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
sentonBOMB
Frankfurter








Since: 25.11.02
From: Jersey

Since last post: 1981 days
Last activity: 682 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.64
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Tazz once again denies the existence of Iron Sheik's gold medal.


What about Mark Henry??? What about him, I ask you.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1299 days
Last activity: 1296 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by tarnish

      Originally posted by DEAN
      Rey Rey gets scorched by the sheer Mink Stole-level great over the top delivery by Eddy.


    Is that really the first John Waters reference ever in a Smackdown! Workrate Report? Or have I missed others?

    Because soooooooo many things make sense now.

    Now I NEED to see the Al Wilson chronicles as written by DEAN and realized by John Waters. Maybe I could settle for Waters remaking Pink Flamingos with an all-wrestling cast, culminating in someone eating a lump of shit from the log JBL left in a gym bag, with Vince hopping around like a jumping bean on speed screaming "FEESHEEEEEEES" over and over.

    Uh. On second thought, this post never happened. Carry on.



I do believe it is. I really have no idea how John Waters hasn't done a wrestling movie past that one match from DESPERATE LIVING.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Lotty
Chourico








Since: 23.3.02
From: Bay Area

Since last post: 3373 days
Last activity: 2646 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
The WWE must have a lot of faith in Melina. What is she gets the boot a la Amy Weber? What will the tag team be called then?

On the same note, it's nice to see a "diva" do some mic work, rather than just be T & A to gawk at.





Mattitude
Chorizo








Since: 7.10.02
From: the last house on the left

Since last post: 772 days
Last activity: 30 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.00
I'm just waiting for them to move Melina to Raw and have her in a "dueling entrances" segment with Stacy Keibler. That slide under the bottom rope is something else.



Mattitude: Practiced in over 100 countries!
Texas Kelly
Lap cheong








Since: 3.1.02
From: FOREST HILLS CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE

Since last post: 56 days
Last activity: 3 days
ICQ:  
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.89
    Originally posted by Lotty
    What is she gets the boot a la Amy Weber?
Amy Weber didn't get the boot. She quit on her own after Randy Orton punked her Ashton-style during the Japan tour. (That's how I recall it anyway.)

Chris Jericho's got some serious competition on his hands, guys. The segment needs a new icon that doesn't scream "CARLITO'S CABANA" so loudly (why not just focus on the palm trees and the rising sun?) and a obscenely expensive prop (to compete with the Jeritron 5000), but other than that, my boy Carlito's got it made.

And hot diggity damn, was that entrance something or what? I have three months in the "fans turn MNM face" pool just because of that entrance...

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Forget this breaking up of Rey and Eddy. This would be a feud with legs.
Since I've been against the Eddie turn from the beginning, I pray to god that's what happens. You could drag this thing out until June easily...



e-mail me at texas (dot) kelly (at) gmailread a bunch of incoherent nonsense
smark/net attack Advisory System is Elevatedsmark/net attack Advisory System Status is: Elevated
(Downgraded from High; April 4, 2005)
Batista & John Cena represent instant upgrades over their predecessors as world champions. However, there's still a general state of backlash around Cena and a specific state over the way he won (however misguided it may be), and the usual tag/cruiserweight complaints persist. The rematches should be interesting, however...
Stablewars Championship Wrestling Presents: Exodus - A New Journey Begins
Monday, April 25, 2005 - Sydney, Australia
Lotty
Chourico








Since: 23.3.02
From: Bay Area

Since last post: 3373 days
Last activity: 2646 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
    Originally posted by Texas Kelly
      Originally posted by Lotty
      What is she gets the boot a la Amy Weber?
    Amy Weber didn't get the boot. She quit on her own after Randy Orton punked her Ashton-style during the Japan tour.


That's really not relevant to what I was asking. Fired, quit, whatever it may be -- if she is gone, what happens to the team? MN just doesn't sound as cool as MNM.

And as a side note, yes the splits into the ring is AWESOME.





Freeway
Scrapple








Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 312 days
Last activity: 6 hours
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.92
I CANNOT wait to see MNM in the ring.

So, I guess the segment did its job.



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Surely I wasnt the only one who immediately thought HBK was going to toss the 'urine' on Vinnie & Shane as soon as they showed how full it was.
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