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The W - Pro Wrestling - your WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 12/11/2003!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1288 days
Last activity: 1285 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
Tonite's Workrate report is feuled by the six of Dale's Pale Ale that the fabulous and generous Naimark's of Colorado sent us. It's got a lively, fruity aftertaste that rides the lightning and wraps the 6.5% Akahawl in a smooth delivery system that says "CLASSY DRUNKENESS!" Straight from Lyons, Colorado to my worn out liver, YO! Bring on the muthafucking wrestling, BITCH!

WHAT WORKED-
- Benoit is chasing the title now? Cool. Heyman does a great job of making Benoit look like the fly in his ointment. The "You Taped Out" sign warms my heart like you wouldn't imagine. Brock being the protected pussy is really fun when it leads up to more Benoit vs Lesnar matches. Lesnar talks shit about the Latin crowd and the heel heat makes me weep. Rey Rey comes out and he's PISSED! WOO-HOO! Rey Rey calls Brock a pussy and is gonna kick his fat ass for talking shit about San Diego. Rey starts the "Ball Headed Geek" chant. End of the segment, Heyman and Brock make faces like Rey Rey pooted before he left the ring.

- HEY! RHYNO! I thought he was mud in the eyes of Vince. Bradshaw is mad about a Velocity moment. Rhyno is fabulous as a heel and leans into Bradshaw's comical offense. The forearms of Bradshaw club. The neckbreakers swing. The toprope Somoan Drop was pretty fucking beautiful so disregard me talking shit about Bradshaw's offense. Hey, the Brad Armstrong Second Rope Suplex yamazakied into a small package. That was perfectly fine. It's good to see young Rhyno on the TV again. So there's a whole backstage gambling ring going on? Okay. I figured they would be setting odds on how long it takes for Bradshaw to probe Paul London's cornhole in the showers later. Ultimo put 150 bucks on 45 seconds! Tajiri says 1 minute 15 seconds! IT'S A PUSH!

- Okay, Morgan puts money on A-Train. I'm assuming that Moore wins and we see a trend? Moore assuming the role of Lee Scott/Mikey Whipwreck... hey! Heyman is going to do the Whipreck story again but with Moore in the Whipwreck role! I just realized it. I'm all for it. A-Train sells for the lil fella and Moore just bumps like a complete psychopath. Moore with the flash pin! Morgan and Team Lesnar lose money! They come out and turn on A-Train. HEY! I'm happier now that I finally figured out where they are going with this. Nobody wins when they make a loud bet.

- The Guerreros and Benjamin/Haas have a very Southern tag match. Eddy is the greatest and the fact that he assumes the role of Ricky Morton makes one rejoice at the beauty, as Eddy sells the shoulder perfectly- especially while on offense. Chavo comes in and makes the Benjamin Superkick to the leg look fucking NASTY. They now go SUPER Old School with the RnR/Horseman psychology of Ricky having a seperated shoulder and Robert wrestling the body of the match- but with the twist of Chavo not being sympathetic to Brother's condition. Eddy does the hot tag and gets in a bunch before Haas cuts him off. chavo makes a save so you don't get the pure Barry Turns On Lex level of psychology. Instead they go for the cheaper "I'm stealing His Win" angle. Eddy cheats to win and I'm assuming that Heyman will flesh out the beginning threads of the break-up with the deeper CONDUITS at his disposal than the shitty jealousy angle.

- My friend Cliff King Of Danger called and I missed the Big Show rap off with Cena. How was that?

- I also missed most of the Lesnar vs Misterio match, though what I saw was pretty great. The match was basically Misterio having to channel 1995 Tijuana Psicosis to outbump Lesnar. Lesnar was fucking GREAT bumping for Rey. And the finish was really cool too. That's such a cool finisher.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-
- The Cat is on my TV and my terlit is callin'. Hey, it's Sable! Sable has the voice of a middleaged Portsmouth, Virginia Quikmart employee. "Sugar, the decaf is in the green jug." Sable refuses to dance for the Cat and is all insulted that he suggests- because this whole segment is mindnumbingly retarded even by retarded WWe standards? Yeah sure. Show us your tits, ya whore or at least dance a little. Realizing that the segment is dying, Cat starts trying to fuck Sable and the segment picks up. He rips off his own pants and has a Lawrence Taylor moment and we all drip with the second hand slime of the pointless segment. Lemme go hit the terlit. [RASMUSSEN walks directly into a lowhanging floorjoist and knocks himself unconscious.... Cat.... Sable... Cat....Sable...Ca...WHORULON!] Cat and Sable are locked in a kiss and Sable doesn't fight it. Instead she becomes the consistence of cottage cheese and tries to engulf Cat. Cat fights out and escapes and Sable reverts to TRUE WHORULON FORM! Green guacamole-like acidic discharge froths from Whorulons' cooter. The Cat looks with mouth agape and he turns to run. Whorulon's twin breasts shoot web-like viscuous lactating discharge that engulfs the Cat in a Mothra-like cocoon. Whorulon's cooter becomes like a kiln as a burning bubble of pungent labial membrane balloons out and engulfs the bound Cat. "Somebody call my mama! This pussy has done gone CRAZY!" The flesh burns away and the nutrients are absorbed into the Whorulon... [RASMUSSEN wakes up, screaming. Sweating. Crying.]

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 18 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.16
Hardcore Holly: Hey, I'm talking about YOU, Brock ... Scum Lesnar!

OK, I admit it, I was for Holly to have a small feud with Brock as a revenge thing. I defended the idea -- RIGHT HERE -- at the Wienerboard (thumbs up)! But I didn't want to see weeks of Holly chasing Brock. Just give him the match, make it no-DQ, have The Brock Flock moider Holly and let's get back to the Benoit-a-thon. Holly's a plot device, not a viable angle, for God's sake.

Dean, the WGTT were sucking the suck of the sucky tonight. They were scattershot, clumsy and the moves lacked snap. Except for the Sheltonkicks. I think he could kick through the earth's crust and create wildcat oil derricks across the Middle East during the Superstar tour. He's gonna put the Nowinski to someone soon, and I'm afraid it'll be Chavo, his often foe.

Does an engine run without the air filter? I don't think I've had more trouble believing a cheat shot since Tazz swore the ring steps weighed 400 pounds.

So does Albert challenge the Bashams for the title and drag Shannon out from backstage? Is that what you're thinking here? I've said Shannon needs a goon to protect him, but I hoped it would be Rhyno. And there he is! Rhyno's back! And he puts away his poor sucker opponent with ... a small package? Whatsupwitdat?




"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
The 5th Horseman
Kolbasz








Since: 23.10.02
From: Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Since last post: 3000 days
Last activity: 2989 days
#3 Posted on
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    chavo makes a save so you don't get the pure Barry Turns On Lex level of psychology.

When Chavo went to the corner for a tag just as Eddy was pulled off the apron, it reminded me of the Windham turn on Luger also. All we needed was J.J. Dillon sitting in the front row yelling, "I told you he wouldn't be there!"
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1288 days
Last activity: 1285 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by The 5th Horseman
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      chavo makes a save so you don't get the pure Barry Turns On Lex level of psychology.

    When Chavo went to the corner for a tag just as Eddy was pulled off the apron, it reminded me of the Windham turn on Luger also. All we needed was J.J. Dillon sitting in the front row yelling, "I told you he wouldn't be there!"


DR: That was the coolest turn ever. Nothing touches it.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Firecracker
Salami








Since: 26.6.02
From: Miami, FL

Since last post: 3578 days
Last activity: 3413 days
AIM:  
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.26
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    My friend Cliff King Of Danger called and I missed the Big Show rap off with Cena. How was that?


It was funny. Big Show's at his best doing the comedy stuff, and his rap wasn't half bad either (he compared Cena to a white girl and himself to Kobe Bryant lol). Of course, Cena tore him apart with a great rap on Show's neckfat, sweating, bad breath, and sagging man-boobs, then kicked him in the grapefruits to add injury to insult.



Yo, it's me, it's me, it's (points to self) P-A-B!

Marlins are WORLD SERIES CHAMPS!! WOOOO!!!
SchippeWreck
Banger








Since: 26.3.03
From: Glendale, CA

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 1 day
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.12
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    "Somebody call my mama! This pussy has done gone CRAZY!"


So wrong.
Yet so very very right.



DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1288 days
Last activity: 1285 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by SchippeWreck
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      "Somebody call my mama! This pussy has done gone CRAZY!"


    So wrong.
    Yet so very very right.


DR: I missed out on the whole James Brown riff there. I should have said the classic line by the Godfather of Soul, "you may know karate, but I know KER-RAZY!" I was drunk. I blame myself.



YES, I AM DEAN.
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 476 days
Last activity: 476 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.37
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Originally posted by The 5th Horseman
        Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
        chavo makes a save so you don't get the pure Barry Turns On Lex level of psychology.

      When Chavo went to the corner for a tag just as Eddy was pulled off the apron, it reminded me of the Windham turn on Luger also. All we needed was J.J. Dillon sitting in the front row yelling, "I told you he wouldn't be there!"


    DR: That was the coolest turn ever. Nothing touches it.







The Windham turn was great (particularly when you throw in him and the Horesmen beating down the Midnight Rider in the locker room after the match), but I'm not sure it ranks up there with Manny Fernandez shutting the briefcase of money from Paul Jones Army, and then turning on the Boogie Woogie Man Jimmy Valiant. Ok, so maybe that turn isn't as good as the Windham turn, but it gives me a reason to say, go for the complete ethnic stereotyping, and have one of the Guerreros start using the Flying Burrito.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1288 days
Last activity: 1285 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
They should at least have Heyman wear the red outfit that Number One Paul Jones useta wear.



YES, I AM DEAN.
DJ FrostyFreeze
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 42 days
Last activity: 11 hours
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95

    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
    Does an engine run without the air filter? I don't think I've had more trouble believing a cheat shot since Tazz swore the ring steps weighed 400 pounds.
THANK YOU. What was holding the filter on, a paperclip?

And I love how [I forgot who got hit with it] sold it like it weighed 100 pounds or something.


(SIDE NOTE: Yes, a car will run without an air filter. Probably not as well as it should, but yeah)



OH SNAP

Cheesehead
Mettwurst








Since: 24.10.03
From: WI, now in the land of the Vikings...*shudder*

Since last post: 1869 days
Last activity: 1869 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.78
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    The Cat is on my TV and my terlit is callin'. Hey, it's Sable! Sable has the voice of a middleaged Portsmouth, Virginia Quikmart employee. "Sugar, the decaf is in the green jug."


Dean, as a VA Beach resident, I laughed out loud at this comment and appreciated the local humor--and the truth behind it! Thanks!





Phantom
Frankfurter








Since: 17.3.02

Since last post: 2372 days
Last activity: 2348 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.00
Well, from the sounds of things, Eddie had the easiest sell job in the world. He actually DID have an injured arm during that match, so selling it like that wasn't really difficult.

The fact that he was still able to have an effective offense, however, makes him YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR.
T.i.O a B.m.F
Mettwurst








Since: 25.10.03
From: T.i.O in U.s.A

Since last post: 3838 days
Last activity: 3837 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
Smackdown was good for the most part this week.

-I think Benoit/Lesnar is going to have to wait till Rumble cause now we got Lesnar/Holly (Joy.)

-Once again no Vince, which is a good thing. I dont mind him once in a while, not every week.

-Heyman says no title shot for Benoit. Proably gonna have a Benoit/Heyman feud leading to Benoit/Morgan matches.

-The Gurrero shit is taking too long. Someone make the damn turn already. Eddie is being held down by this stupid storyline.




"T.he I.mmoral O.ne's A B.ad M.otha F.u*ka"
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1288 days
Last activity: 1285 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by Submit2theXFace
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      The Cat is on my TV and my terlit is callin'. Hey, it's Sable! Sable has the voice of a middleaged Portsmouth, Virginia Quikmart employee. "Sugar, the decaf is in the green jug."


    Dean, as a VA Beach resident, I laughed out loud at this comment and appreciated the local humor--and the truth behind it! Thanks!




DR: Let me stress that the Ladies of Portsmouth are the finest redneck ladies in the WORLD.



YES, I AM DEAN.
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Has anybody read this article in the new copy of WWE RAW? Does it have any new facts or details about the situation?
- BretHart1985, WWE Raw Magazine's SCSA article (2002)
Related threads: The Great Thomas SmackDown Report 12/11/03 - **Spoilers** SD/Velocity Taping 12/9/03 - your WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 12/4/2003~! - More...
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