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The W - Pro Wrestling - your WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 1/23/2003!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1326 days
Last activity: 1324 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
I`ve...uh... been doing a little drinking so I`m feeling pretty good. It`s 8:20, we`ve Turbotaxed our return (have lotsa children, it`s CHEDDAH in the bank at tax time) and I`m working on my 5th Old Mil so hopefully I won`t degenerate into a COMPLETE idiot by the time i get to beers #8 and #9. Fuck the bullshit- there will be some degeneration before this motherfucker is over.

WHAT WORKED-
- Goddamn, that Benoit vs Charlie Haas match was pretty fabulous. You can never say that Benoit always works the same match- as this was the clinic on selling the arm match, when I figured this was the Get Your Heat Back match. I was going to get all snitty and irate about Benoit selling for a young punk for an entire match when he should be coming back strong as a motherfucker after losing at the PPV- but then you see the wristbands that Charlie Haas is wearing with ``Russ`` written on it, so fuck it. I can`t be cool and snide about this- I`ve got two brothers and I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like for either of them to die, so I am not that much of a shithead where I can make myself have a problem with Benoit selling this much for him. Benoit was great as usual with with the facials and the cool ass counters to continuous the Haas Arm Pain. The flashpin is perfectly fine with me. He better beats somebody`s ass gigantically next week.

- Fuck it. I`ve had a couple Old Mils and I cannot hate the Rikishi vs Bill Demott match at all. Demott actually sold the arm and Rikishi looked all hard and hateful as he worked on it. Maaaaan, the Bill Demott push is over even before I had a chance to develop a good hatred for him. God damn it.

- Matt is just great- giving Shannon a lesson through Nunzio, making me love everyone involved. Though I KNOW Nunzio is actually Italian, but why does he sound like he faking an Italian accent. What the fuck? LATER. Four beers later. They have a little match. Nunzio and Matt Hardy winking at each other made really really laugh out loud. Jumpin Jesus on A Pogo Stick, there is NOTHING better than Matt Hardy. Nunzio does beat the life out of Shannon Moore until Moore goes all leg lariat crazy. Nunzio gets the assist of the video editor and gets the counter of the Twist Of Fate for the win, somehow. Matt decides to thank Nunzio for teaching Shannon a lesson but fuck the bullshit- I`m upset that my role model isn`t beating the shit out of Kidman this week. The motherfucker.

- The Big Show is being interviewed by that Josh interviewing guy. Josh wants to know what Big Show`s view on the return of the Undertaker but the Big Show has a problem. The big Show can`t get past Josh`s eyes. Those gentle eyes that got him on the television are the same eyes that make the Big Show forget that he threw the Undertaker off the stage onto those mattresses. The Big Show gives in to the moment and his urge, his love, his instant desire to kiss young Josh- it overcomes him and he now KNOWS why he is here- HERE ON THIS EARTH- he is here to love a man. He cups Josh`s head in his gigantic hand and such an electric thrill- of love of SOMETHING HAPPENING NOW in his mind, in his heart, in his SOUL. The Big Show fights his love/urge and squeezes the perfect head of Josh. The Big Show is filled with self-loathing as he forces himself to hurt the face that he is instantly in love with- and his self-loathing doesn`t fade out as the image of a shaken Josh fades out....

- Shelton Benjamin isn`t Eddy. Eddy is Eddy. Shelton is good. Eddy is better. Can Shelton make Edge look as good as Eddy does? Lessee, shall we? Shelton with the front facelock and the single leg takedown into the hammerlock and I love the TEAM ANGLE. Shelton hits a SWANK German suplex and then the fun armcrimping arm thing into a Butterfly Suplex and everyone sells for TEAM ANGLE tonight. It`s fucking smart booking though when you sit down and think about it-as TEAM ANGLe and Brock Lesnar are the best job of getting over younguns that they`ve done in the WWE this year. Shelton does that Shinzaki Camel Clutch and I`m in love with Shelton Benjamin. Edge is perfect in this match because his main strength is absorbing an ass-beating. Edge has the fun Released Belly to Belly and Edge goes on his comical offense that all of us collectively hate. I love the nine step sequence into the Spin kick out an Enzuiguiri gone wrong. Edge hits the Spear for the win and I`m so much more impressed with Shelton Benjamin than I am with Edge. Shelton is not Eddy. Eddy is Eddy. Shelton is better than Edge. Yes, he is.

- They show that commercial for Grand Theft Auto with ``I Ran`` by Flock Of Seagulls and I think back to when I was 16 and saw th Flock open for the Police at the Norfolk Scope in 1982. I also saw the Romantics in 1983. My prostate is the size of beachball i`m so fucking old....

- Angle is fucking great browbeating TEAM ANGLE. INTENSITY! INTEGRITY! INTELLIGENCE! CRIPES ON FRIDAY! Angle is YOUR wrestling Jesus. Why do you not let him into your wrestling heart? He`s asking you now...

- Rey Rey is fucking great bringing the assbeat to Angle early on. Angle beats him down and it`s pretty basic. I was actually CONFUSED by Paul Heyman at ringside for a minute there- so effective is TEAM ANGLE on their own. I said to myself, ``Is Heyman there recruiting REY?`` then I remembered the vestigal Heyman/Angle connection. Angle actually Aja Kongs some suplexes that Rey Rey unleashes and my love of Angle is becoming as immense as my love of young Rey Misterio Jr. Angle hits the reverse Rana and Angle decides to bump GINORMOUS to set up Rey flying over the ref into the Tope Con Hilo. Angle hits the fucking PSICOSIS bump to set up Rey missing the Splitleg moonsault. Rey counters the Olympic Slam with an Armdrag and this match goes through the fucking roof with the cool ass nearfalls. The finish is fucking complex and BEAUTIFUL as a COMPLETE MOTHERFUCKER. Post match, Micheal Cole cusses incorrectly as Edge makes the save and Benoit comes out and beats the shit out of Angle. They seem to be setting up the MONSTER TV match of TEAM ANGLE vs Benoit/Edge/ Misterio and we- as wrestling fans- are completely stoked.

- Hulk Hogan will put over ANYONE now. How can I have a problem with him? Hell, he does that 1976 Vertical Suplex so fuck it, I`m all about it. It is HILARIOUS though that ANYONE wouldn`t laugh at Stephanie McMahon for suggesting that Hulk Hogan returning is 1/1,000,000,000 as great as motherfucking Stone Cold Steve Austin returning. This went on for a while.

WHAT DIDN`T WORK-

- Undertaker is back and I loved Undertaker last time when he was the comical idiot who couldn`t control his dick or his crazy pregnant no-selling wife and who sold his broken hand like Jerry Lewis in ``Cinderfella``. The problem NOW is that he is now all about fueding with the smitten Big Show. Big Show is now in touch with gentle side and I`m confused as to who to love in this- the shittiest wrestling fued since Giant Silva had to carry Giant Singh. THE THING IS that the Big Show comes out to his GREAT GREAT GREAT theme song so I`m going with the Son Of Andre in this- the mashing together of two giant chili-based fatman turds into one giant turd of a wrestling fued. The Big Show eludes Ut and serves up the A-Train to most amazing lack of pop ever not heard in the annals of wrestledom. It was GREAT bacause even Can of Crown- which lives in the post-production trailer- didn`t even popped for it. Then they wrestle. Undertaker has a new baby. I have a new baby. I gotta give UT credit for even being able to move because fuck knows he isn`t sleeping any time soon. It was actually a 3-way: UT vs A-Train vs the Editor- as the Editor has to keep cutting away from the HILARIOUSLY shitty punching. Eh, UT looked happy to be back. He can`t help it if he usually sucks. He tries. A-Train is actually good at bumping all over the ring for new daddy and they actually generate a head of steam while they head into the nearfalls. UT whips out the Dragon Sleeper for the submission and you must LOVE that. LOVE THAT. Eh, if this was any other show, this would have worked. C`mon, I already got Bill Demott up yonder- what do you people want? Lemme alone.

- Brock Brock Brock...... Less Mic, more wrestle.

- Then it went on too long. They show all the creepy guys in the audience whose beginning of wrestling starts with Hulk Hogan, young fellas who never lived in the South and experienced the Four Horsemen in their glory. The crowd is less happy the longer he talks. And WHY could we not get Steve Austin on Smackdown? Then Vince McMahon shows up and it all goes to hell. Vince is the worst actor ever. Oh wait, Hulk Hogan is RIGHT there. Hulk vs vince is SOOO custom made for RAW. Austin vs Benoit is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO custom made for Smackdown. DURN DURN DURN!

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.




YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
The Great Thomas
Sujuk








Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 3411 days
Last activity: 3411 days
#2 Posted on

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    The Big Show is being interviewed by that Josh interviewing guy. Josh wants to know what Big Show`s view on the return of the Undertaker but the Big Show has a problem. The big Show can`t get past Josh`s eyes. Those gentle eyes that got him on the television are the same eyes that make the Big Show forget that he threw the Undertaker off the stage onto those mattresses. The Big Show gives in to the moment and his urge, his love, his instant desire to kiss young Josh- it overcomes him and he now KNOWS why he is here- HERE ON THIS EARTH- he is here to love a man. He cups Josh`s head in his gigantic hand and such an electric thrill- of love of SOMETHING HAPPENING NOW in his mind, in his heart, in his SOUL. The Big Show fights his love/urge and squeezes the perfect head of Josh. The Big Show is filled with self-loathing as he forces himself to hurt the face that he is instantly in love with- and his self-loathing doesn`t fade out as the image of a shaken Josh fades out....
I had the same thought about this. Either Big Show wanted to kiss Josh or eat him.



"Strong and Beautiful, Just Like Al Wilson."

DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1326 days
Last activity: 1324 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
It was a beautiful, tender moment. I wept at the innate passion....

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Pheadfred
Pickled pork








Since: 9.2.02
From: Nashville

Since last post: 4325 days
Last activity: 3408 days
#4 Posted on

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN

    I also saw the Romantics in 1983.



I seen them in 83 here in Nashville , but for christ sake , they opened for Rick fucking Springfield .


    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN

    They show all the creepy guys in the audience whose beginning of wrestling starts with Hulk Hogan, young fellas who never lived in the South and experienced the Four Horsemen in their glory.



AMEN !
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1326 days
Last activity: 1324 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
When I saw them, the Producers opened for them. She- Sheila's in my head- when she loooooks at me, I might as well be dead......

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Gavintzu
Summer sausage








Since: 2.1.02
From: Calgary ... Alberta Canada

Since last post: 2901 days
Last activity: 2901 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
DEAN sez (with regards to UT/A Train):

    Eh, if this was any other show, this would have worked. C`mon, I already got Bill Demott up yonder- what do you people want? Lemme alone.

I won't let you alone. This worked, man. The whole show worked. Big Show in a nice suit ducking the Undertaker worked. Team Angle vs. the Faces of Smackdown sure did work. The Return of the Hulkster worked -- if you went to the can during the extended Crowd Blowjob segment. Bill Demott worked the last little while, as even DEAN begins to admit.

And the A Train and the Undertaker worked tonight. Credit where credit is due, dammit.

And the best part of tonight's show: you just know Heyman is gonna milk every last drop out of Mysterio/Edge/Benoit vs. Team Angle in the next eight weeks as he did out of Mysterio/Edge vs. Benoit/Angle vs. Los Guerroros in the last few months.

Smackdown rules!






I hate the army and I hate the RAF
I don't wanna go fighting in the tropical heat.
I hate the civil service rules
And I won't open a letter bomb for you.
------------------------------------------------
Joe Strummer Lives!
Scooter Trash
Blutwurst








Since: 23.7.02
From: Indiana

Since last post: 232 days
Last activity: 23 hours
Y!:
#7 Posted on
My prostate is the size of beachball i`m so fucking old....
YES, THAT WAS DEAN.

I shot Silver Bullet out of both nostrils upon reading that.

Bravo, Motherfucker, Bravo.



"Lipsmackin' Thirstquenchin' Acetastin' Motivatin' Goodbuzzin' Cooltalkin' Highwalkin' Fastlivin' Evergivin' Coolfizzin' Scooter Trash."
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1326 days
Last activity: 1324 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85

    Originally posted by Gavintzu
    DEAN sez (with regards to UT/A Train):

      Eh, if this was any other show, this would have worked. C`mon, I already got Bill Demott up yonder- what do you people want? Lemme alone.

    I won't let you alone. This worked, man. The whole show worked. Big Show in a nice suit ducking the Undertaker worked. Team Angle vs. the Faces of Smackdown sure did work. The Return of the Hulkster worked -- if you went to the can during the extended Crowd Blowjob segment. Bill Demott worked the last little while, as even DEAN begins to admit.

    And the A Train and the Undertaker worked tonight. Credit where credit is due, dammit.

    And the best part of tonight's show: you just know Heyman is gonna milk every last drop out of Mysterio/Edge/Benoit vs. Team Angle in the next eight weeks as he did out of Mysterio/Edge vs. Benoit/Angle vs. Los Guerroros in the last few months.

    Smackdown rules!





DR: MEH! I say MEH! The UT vs A-Train match wasn't nearly as good as Ut vs Randy Orton or Ut vs Matt Hardy, so i am allowed to say, "MEH! Did not work!"

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
RKMtwin
Boudin rouge








Since: 1.3.02
From: Denver, Colorado

Since last post: 2218 days
Last activity: 1662 days
#9 Posted on
Just wanted to say that it's editions of SmackDown! like this that make us all so P.O.'d about RAW.

If Benoit/Rey-Rey/Edge vs. Team Angle happens on SD! at some point in the weeks to come, someone call an ambulance, because I'll mark out to the point that my brain will pop.

SmackDown! rules ALL!



David Crockett sez it best, folks: "Look at 'im, Tony! Look at 'im!"
Gavintzu
Summer sausage








Since: 2.1.02
From: Calgary ... Alberta Canada

Since last post: 2901 days
Last activity: 2901 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
Hey math majors -- how many combinations does Mysterio/Edge/Benoit vs. Team Angle give us anyways? Nine singles matches (not counting rematches), one six man tag, ... how many four-man tag combinations are there in there though?

Jesus Lord Almighty, they could stretch this feud out past Wrestlemania before the cow comes up dry.






I hate the army and I hate the RAF
I don't wanna go fighting in the tropical heat.
I hate the civil service rules
And I won't open a letter bomb for you.
------------------------------------------------
Joe Strummer Lives!
that1870sguy
Bauerwurst








Since: 24.5.02
From: San Antonio, Tejas

Since last post: 3923 days
Last activity: 3412 days
AIM:  
#11 Posted on
You know what else worked? At the risk of sounding like a horny high-schooler, Steffo leaning over the desk giving her fans the beatiful cleavage shot was, in a word, awesome. Taker and A-train wasn't too horrible either.



I've said it before and I'll say it again: Sean O'Haire ate Brendan Fraser.
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 486 days
Last activity: 447 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.44
Oddly enough (or not so oddly, if you know the reasoning behind it), there are also 9 possible 2v2 tag-team matches for Edge/Benoit/Mysterio v Team Angle.



dMp
Banger








Since: 4.1.02
From: The Hague, Netherlands (Europe)

Since last post: 12 days
Last activity: 10 hours
#13 Posted on
Dean,
How did you feel about a Smackdown without Al Wilson?
Good wrestling can make up for only so much, so the pain in your heart must have been great?



lagboyz_jfk
Cotechino








Since: 18.4.02
From: Chicago

Since last post: 129 days
Last activity: 129 days
#14 Posted on
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Angle actually Aja Kongs some suplexes that Rey Rey unleashes

Can someone please translate that? Is it a Japanese reference? Thanks in advance.

(edited by lagboyz_jfk on 24.1.03 0129)
The 5th Horseman
Kolbasz








Since: 23.10.02
From: Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Since last post: 3038 days
Last activity: 3027 days
#15 Posted on

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Then it went on too long. They show all the creepy guys in the audience whose beginning of wrestling starts with Hulk Hogan, young fellas who never lived in the South and experienced the Four Horsemen in their glory.


Amen, my below the Mason-Dixon Line, one fall with a 60 minute time limit World Title match brother. I see your Four Horsemen in their glory and raise you the Midnight Express (both the Beautiful Bobby/Loverboy Dennis and Beautiful Bobby/Sweet Stan versions), the Great American Bash tour, and Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard in an "I Quit" cage match. Ah, the Golden Age, if only that idiot David Crockett wasn't yelling "Look at him, Tony!" and other such nonsense on those great shows.
Eddie Famous
Andouille








Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 369 days
Last activity: 363 days
#16 Posted on


    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    When I saw them, the Producers opened for them. She- Sheila's in my head- when she loooooks at me, I might as well be dead......

    DEAN.



I am having a new wave flashback. Damn. The only concert I got to see around then was the Stray Cats with the Bus Boys opening for them. It rocked though.



George Washington gave his signature
The Government gave its hand
They said for now and ever more that this was Indian Land

"As long as the moon shall rise"
"As long as the rivers flow"
"As long as the sun will shine"
"As long as the grass shall grow"


pieman
As young as
he feels








Since: 11.12.01
From: China, Maine

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 5 hours
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.21



    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    When I saw them, the Producers opened for them. She- Sheila's in my head- when she loooooks at me, I might as well be dead......

    DEAN.



Dude - saw them in Daytona in 1983. Outstanding! What's He Got? and What She Does to Me are my faves. I saw them with A Flock of Seagulls and Joe King Carrasco and the Crowns. Gotta love the farfisa organ, my friend.



He's Rolie Polie Olie - and in his world of curves and curls, he's the swellest kid around.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1326 days
Last activity: 1324 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
I respond to my fellow hip-replacement candidate geezers:

When I saw them, the Producers opened for them. She- Sheila's in my head- when she loooooks at me, I might as well be dead......

DEAN.

EDDIE: I am having a new wave flashback. Damn. The only concert I got to see around then was the Stray Cats with the Bus Boys opening for them. It rocked though.

DR: I had like NINE chances to see the Stray Cats and never went. I heard they rocked live.


When I saw them, the Producers opened for them. She- Sheila's in my head- when she loooooks at me, I might as well be dead......

DEAN.

Dude - saw them in Daytona in 1983. Outstanding! What's He Got? and What She Does to Me are my faves. I saw them with A Flock of Seagulls and Joe King Carrasco and the Crowns. Gotta love the farfisa organ, my friend.
-------------
DR: Oh MAN! Joe KING Carrasco was completely balls out.

DEAN.





YES, I AM DEAN.
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Maybe it speaks to how little he thinks of WWE and their schedule. I would have liked to see him return WWE Jeff Hardy > TNA Jeff Hardy.
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