- Abel Durant is one suave and good-looking man. You can't tell me he isn't good-lookin'. I would like to drink a bottle of Sangria with him. The handsomest moustache in all of Puerto Rico.
- I'm assuming that this is the blow-off match of the Rabiosos vs Thunder and Lightning feud- because it is a barbed wire match and it is fucking blood-drenchedly-fabulous. There are no fancy spinning savat heel-kicks, just stomping and punching and raking across barbed-wire. I'm gonna miss TyL, they are quite the Disorderly Conduct/Texas Hangmen of PR- in that they are rock solid and big and have really great punches. I watched the match they showed last week (off of the luchalibreonlinetv youtube page) and this match is a lot better because the barbed wire cuts out the wandering brawling that I'm assuming most of their matches become. Here, it's right in the middle of the ring and it's all violent and shit like you want your angry blow-off match to be. Mr Big goes SUPER JIGGLY when getting punched into his Dusty Rhodes comeback and is truly fabulous making with the one-man-clubberin. Blitz does a tiny Dusty Jigglin Comeback after realizing that he coated in his own blood and then it basically turns into who will bleed the most. Blitz blades last, BUT he also blades best- and is 1/4th Tommy Rich by the end. Mr Big is a giant fatboy and has GALLONS of blood to spare, so he was a bit of a disappointment, bloodwise. But really, He's 9,000 pounds. You should be able to attach a high pressure hose to his forehead and fight fires in downtown Bayomon. Still, it's a hard edged Puerto Rico death match you would expect. The finish involved powder to the eyes in case it wasn't getting old school enough.
- The Joe Bravo, CJ O'Doyle, Hideo Saito match was perfectly fine- considering how much I despise a 3-way. Hideo Saito must have found a wife or at least a steady girl in Puerto Rico and has been eating well because he has pudged out like a MAN since his New Japan Hirasawa days. Plus his crazy hair is something you can only pull off after you've landed the love of your life who now doesn't care what you look like as long as you let her watch GREY'S ANATOMY without your comments or presence in the room. Saito brings a full measure of stiff to the match that works all around up to the ref bump and past it- as he hits a sweet Released German to set up THE MIST~! But the three-way booking actually works for once, as Saito MISTS~! O'Doyle and Bravo dropkicks Saito out of the ring and THUS Bravo pins the blinded O'Doyle. Postmatch, Saita says, "Fuck all y'all, at I got some pork chops cooking when I get home. You little bitches. Fuck allll y'all."
- I've never really dug Carlito. I remember liking his match in PR against Rey but that was a lifetime ago. Shane is the best wrestler in WWC and proves it here by carrying this match- using mostly the oldest school psychology you will find anywhere. They join a little ways in and it is basically Shane punching and hitting suplexes that Carlito sells "barely escaping" really well. Shane misses a toprope elbow and Carlitos slowly struggles to his feet and hits a finisher for 2. You slow it all down AND IT MEANS MORE. Carlito eats a batch of truly beautiful punches and fucking Old School backdrop and Carlito can only escape by pushing Shane and bumping the ref. Shane hits a fucking BEAUTIFUL toprope elbow BUT THE REF IS OUT! Being the end of the WWC show, someone turns on someone, this week- the Phenomenal BJ attacks Shane with an ACE CRUSHAH!, the ref wakes up, and Carlito gets the weasley win. I await Shane beating the crap out of everyone involved.
- I usually hate matches like Jumping Jeff Jeffries vs Steve Joel. It wasn't stiff enough, they were showing a lot of daylight on their dropkicks, everything involved bouncing off the rope but not really landing anything convincingly. BUT this match did have the hair-stylings of Steve Joel. It's amazing. He looks TV's Frank fronting an early 80s New Romantics band- like if Steven Strange from Visage had a decent fatboy moonsault. You'll want to hate this match- but the hair.... the hair.... the hair. It's like he was kicked out of Ultravox, was cryogenically frozen and was revived in Puerto Rico in 2009. Nobody wants to know about his 80s synth chops so he falls back to his second love- ROH junior heavyweight wrestling. The hair plus it's not very long equals scraping by.
- This is my first time seeing the Sensational Gilbert. He's a biggun. He is in an Ironman Match with Carlitos. They set the pace for going thirty by doing your basic headlock into a flurry of highspots back into a headlock. Into a giant wad of commercials! (God almighty, that is some nightmare fuel on "Super Xclusivo.") We come back and Carlitos is ten-punching in the corner to set up a Flying Cross Body Block for two and Gilbert is king-sized setting up the failed 619 in a way that doesn't make me sick to hit the NODAWA~! for the first pin. Gilbert is all intense waiting for Carlitos to make it to his feet and immediately MISSES a Powerbomb to set-up a successful 619 and toprope leg lariat by Carlitos for the pin! They punch each other in the face for a while and Gilbert hits a bodyslam before collapsing into the corner to climb up... and wait for Carlitos who is flailing around on the other side of the ring. Carlitos finally makes it across and reverses a MISSILE DROPKICK~! attempt for the roll-up and the win. Postmatch, Gilbert slaughters Carlitos with a folded up stretcher and then totally busts him up with a truly beautiful Powerbomb. This was perfectly fine.
WHAT DIDN'T WORK-
- They have this endless set-up of this one guy to beat this other guy outside of Glamourboy Shane's gym. I can't figure out which guy is which yet. There is a little person with the evil lurker- which is strange, because if I was trying to keep a low profile, I wouldn't bring along the one person who stick out the most to anyone. Who were his other friends? Pudge Rodriguez? Paris Hilton? Puerto Rico's Most Tattooed Man? "God, Little Bill, I guess you ARE my most inconspicuous friend."
- The dubbed ShakeWeight commercial is just disturbing. It's creepy enough with the guy in English say, "Ah that was incredible!"
- CJ O'Doyle CUTS A PROMO~! where he says, "After the match, I'm going to get a sip of water" except he doesn't say "Water" he says "Warder"! Maaan, if you are from Baltimore, EMBRACE Baltimore. Wear second hand polyester hipster clothes. Smoke cigarettes constantly. Grow a thin wispy moustache. Forget how to drive. Call your finisher "Rats Are Attacking You From The Drainpipes Driver 2011". Have your valet carry a baby in one arm and have a hook for the other arm. You're not Fit Finlay and all allusions to Ireland draw that unfair comparison. Any allusions to Baltimore puts you up against the Baltimore Footstomper and the Eggman. C'mon hon, be one with Balimur.
- The CLASSIC MATCH OF THE WEEK! SABOOOOO vs the SANDMAN! I remember not liking their matches from their ECW heydays. This was every thing you remember from every Sabu match you've seen since 2000. Sandman lays around and gets landed on a lot, trying to catch his breath. The finish is a total mess. It will bring back fond memories of yesteryear. Rico Suave hits the best move of the match by hitting an actually nasty looking elbow drop fromthe top on Sabu postmatch.
Why does this show exist? What is it? Why is it? Nothing happens, nothing has consequences, nothing makes sense. I'm not upset, I'm just confused. Why is Daniel Bryan #1/why does Daniel Bryan lose every match cleanly without Miz messing him up anymore?