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The W - Pro Wrestling - your sweet sweet WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 1/20/2005
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1293 days
Last activity: 1290 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
Since Dean has so graciously done my grocery shopping the night before a forecasted snowstorm, I will start this week’s workrate report. This, I repeat, this will not become a habit.

What worked:
10 minutes in and nothing has happened so maybe I won’t have to do this for too long at all. OK, I have married to Dean way too long when I just explained a “hot tag” to my 8 year old daughter. I was just telling her that I bet the Basham brothers are going to win since I smell a hot tag. I’m starting to scare myself. I just love Eddie and his swagger. At least the Basham guy that’s been in the ring since the beginning.

DEAN GETS HOME. I was going to talk about how idiotic people are when shopping at the last minute for a snowstorm, but then I realized that I was doing the exact thing I was going to whine about. Fuck it. I love people. I love people at WalMart. Plus they had Fleischer Superman dvds for ONE DOLLAR. I'm sick and late and tired and hungry and my wife is due in 8 days so bear with me. The Bashams are stomping Booker T’s skull in in a low impact kind of way. Basham with the FULL NELSON and one must love that. Booker elbows out but Basham powerslams to cut him off. Back to the Full Nelson and I’m glad I got home in time to see this. Eddy does comedy spots while Booker is getting kilt. Danny tags in and hits a perfectly fine elbow drop. Bashams do the whole Southern Tag checklist and Eddy is king-sized on the apron distracting the ref. Booker T finally spinebusts to get the hot tag! Eddy hits the technico offense into the 3 Amigos. Orlando is interjected to allow the Bashams to not hit Eddy with the belt but Eddy gets the belt and Nick Patrick sees it and you know the drill. Booker and Eddy have postmatch tension!!! Bashams and Orlando attack Booker T and EDDY MAKES THE SAVE!!! They are no longer tense. The de-tensifying makes it all truly work.

- Cena and random diva speak of Tsunami Relief and my 8 year old reminds me that she donated 5 dollars today- thus allowing me to beam with pride. I explain to her that five bucks will feed a family for 2 and a half days and she smiles the sweetest smile.

- Scotty 2 Hotty and Akio have a play-in match. Scotty takes a fabulous assbeating early. I eat pizza and admire Akio’s Romero Special. Scotty goes Memphis with the punches and chops to get back on offense. Scotty wins with the Worm.

- Cena and Josh have an odd chemistry. Cena is angry at first. They talk and Cena warms to Josh. Josh is repelled as it finishes and Cena tries to be all hard again. Both are left questioning. Excited yet questioning.

- Best of Willie Nelson? Now we're talking. The first rite of passage to manhood is when you finally understand the greatness of Willie Nelson. I lucked out. A friend of mine made me a tape of THE REDHEADED STRANGER when I was 18 which launched me on a journey of Nelson discovery. I remember coming home drunk after plying onto/striking out with women and listening to "Whiskey River" and actually feeling like a man and being in the moment and being all empowered and AMERICAN and MANLY and everything that real fucking country music should do for you. Fuck yeah Willie Nelson is your daddy, motherfucker.

- What a night I'm having. I had to dash to the terlit as I still have horrible remnants of yesterdays flu thingy so I missed the first few minutes of Cena vs Dupre. When did Rene Dupree get Elton John Hair? Oop! The FU and it's funny that I can launch a 14 pound butter sculpture out of my butt at the speed of sound and still miss 9/10ths of BIG MATCH on Smackdown. Kenzo sends a message postmatch.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK:

- WAIT. JBL is turning face, kinda? I ask my wife to tell me if bozonga woman with Big Show is Amy or Joy and she feigns like she doesn’t know. She leaves me to my wrestling idiocy and retires to the bedroom to watch Law and Order and dream of the day she is no longer pregnant/can jab my eyes out with a pen.

- Carlito being the National Review editorial staff to Teddy Long's Kofi Annan is too inside to get over with the rubes. It's like Josh Marshall and Vince Russo formed a truly hideous booking committee. Inexplicably, it's Heidenreich. Heidenreich assumes the roll of Pat Buchanon- as paleocon and chickenhaid join forces to overthrow the impotent figurehead of Smackdown. UT is John McCain in this scenario. Of course, with the actual Heidenreich in the casket, it goes straight into "Bischoff and Hogan seeing Ultimate Warrior in the mirror" sheer retardedness.

- Big Show The Man In Love talks heart to heart with JBL. The two funniest guys on your roster shouldn't have quality time getting "real" with their feelings. Somebody has to say hilarious things to piss off the crowd. They're in fucking CANADA, for God's sake. It's all on the shoulder's of Angle to be the Great American Penis and I don't know if he is up for it these days.

- Chavo goes rudo on Rey Rey. Chavo does the great slow burn to evil as he gets his throat draped across the toprope. And we go to commercial. Chavo with the vertical suplex. Chavo with the SWEET lariat while I was watching the MXC during the commercial. Rey with the comical sell of the kick to the leg, as Rey does an ode to Psicosis. They swap nearfalls. Chavo goes all Villano 4 on Rey with the armhold with leg-vining. Rey punches and elbows to offense and they do a truly hideous roll-up for two. Chavo with the nasty dropkick to Rey's stomach after a quebrada by Rey. Chavo hits that pussy version of a reversed Gory Bomb and rey gets to the ropes. They elaborately set up Rey missing the 619. Chavo fucking KILLS Rey with a gnarley reverse powerbomb. Rey inexplicably kicks out. Rey hits the 619 and wins and I gotta question the complete lack of selling by Rey at the end. Fuck it. I can't abide that shit.

- Joy comes out and I know it's Joy because Angle just said it was Joy. Joy is dressed like and has a look on her face like she is in an episode of Bookworm Bitches and has been cheating on her midterms and just got caught. Angle doesn't insult any Canadians so this is absolutely fucking horrible. Big Show's theme is INFECTING me again. Slowly. JBL, Big Show and Angle talk quite a bit. IT'S A SWERVE! Angle and JBL are in cahootz! At least JBL isn't turning face. Thank God. The beating down of Big Show was fun as they would switch off crappy stable mates to hold Big Show down to allow JBl or Angle to beat on Big Show. Big Show bleeds like a man. If this was Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, this is the point where Big Show calls his cousin and Sonny King and Bearcat Wright show up next week and beat the shit out of JBL and Angle. This is WWE.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
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geemoney
Scrapple








Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 9 hours
AIM:  
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.71
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    I just explained a “hot tag” to my 8 year old daughter.

HOLD ON TO THIS WOMAN.

As for Smackdown....I didn't think Rene Dupree could look any younger, but he has with his new haircut/facial hair....The opening tag was fun, but the whole Eddy thing where he took the tag rope off and dragged it across the top rope was straight out of a 2003 Smackdown taping in Rochester (I know, I was there). And did Tazz really say he'd never seen that before?....Chavo/Rey and Bashams/Eddy and Booker were both good matches, but Chavo's non-selling really got to me, especially after the stun gun-like move Rey did to him where he ended up on the outside.



College, Sports and More!: Experience It
Stilton
Frankfurter








Since: 7.2.04
From: Canada

Since last post: 3185 days
Last activity: 3185 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.73
It was pretty sly, I must say, of John Cena to go for local pops by wearing a Canadiens jersey in Montreal. I'm sure he might have been a little nervous that the Francophones in the building would go apeshit for Dupree. That is a city that is really hurting from the lack of NHL this year, and the jersey really warmed up the crowd.

Dupree was actually a little more sly, wearing trunks that said "Je me souviens", which means "I remember" and is the provincial motto for Quebec. For those who are curious it refers to the October crisis when a separatist terrorist group called the FLQ (Front de Liberation de Quebec) kidnapped and murdered some diplomats and bombed a string of Anglo-owned businesses back in the 1970s.

But what the hell? Did anyone else notice that Fifi was an English Sheepdog tonight and not a French Poodle? In light of the motto on the tights, the dog was definite mixed metaphor.

The Chavo/Rey match was a beauty to behold but both men could have made it a better by selling a little more.

I kinda missed the Kurt Angle invitational tonight. I was hoping for one of the Rougeaus to come out.

Dean, I admired Akio's skill in the ring as well, but I wonder, does Scotty winning with the worm really belong under "What worked"? Has it ever?



The Goal: SLACK
The Method: The Casting Out of False Prophets
The Weapon: Time Control
The Motto: "Fuck Them All of they Can't Take a Joke"
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1293 days
Last activity: 1290 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by Stilton
    Dean, I admired Akio's skill in the ring as well, but I wonder, does Scotty winning with the worm really belong under "What worked"? Has it ever?


I forgot to bitch about that more. But it was such a forgettably perfectly okay Smackdown match that it's kind of fitting.

And thanks for the lesson on "Je me souviens". I did actually wonder about that when I was up yonder.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Tenken347
Boudin blanc








Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

Since last post: 8 hours
Last activity: 3 min.
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.60
No, Fifi was still a poodle last night, just without the standard poodle cut. If you ask me, the dogs look much better without the poodle cut.
Toast Jr
Goetta








Since: 30.1.03
From: Stafford Springs, CT

Since last post: 1 hour
Last activity: 50 min.
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.00
Did anyone catch what Cena's hat said? It has been blurred out (at least on my UPN affiliate) for the past two weeks and it's driving me bonkers.
El Pescado
Kolbasz








Since: 3.1.02
From: Toms River, NJ

Since last post: 1174 days
Last activity: 998 days
AIM:  
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.50
Cena's hat says "Ruck Fules" They sell it on WWE ShopZone as "The hat you can't see on television" the last time I checked.



"You won't see that on Everybody Loves Raymond!"
-J.R. after Trish gets pasted with a chair
too-old-now
Bockwurst








Since: 7.1.04

Since last post: 1300 days
Last activity: 225 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.42
Dean, thanks for another recap better than SD! itself. Best of luck to the missus - 8 days away really means any minute now...Sounds like you 2 are made for each other.

Add me to the list of being unsettled by Rey's lack of selling, especially toward the end. Rey knows how to sell, and can do it well, so I wonder if someone mixed up the time of the match, or worse if it was intentional to get a hot sequence up to the finish. I disagree with the critics of Chavo's selling, I think he sold well enough considering his opponent. Rey's offense is weak, like it could/should be shaken off after 10 seconds.

I wouldn't mind Chavo moving over to Raw if they're just going to continue to bury him on SD! He is too much of a talent who almost always makes his opponents look good, and he gets great crowd reactions. Let him get pissed off at the Rumble, and turn face to tag with Regal to boost the Raw tag scene. Then, when Eugene comes back there'll at least be something interesting - would Regal return to his inevitable heel mode on Eugene? Even as a short-term face, we could see Chavo vs. Christian which would be fun..

All the same, I would've put the Chavo/Rey match in the worked column, and while I HATED Big Show throwing 7 guys off him all at once, I enjoyed the rest of the beatdown, the chairshot and bladejob were KING-sized, my friend Chip called them Foley-worthy. Show will get his shot at JBL's title in the RR, but since its a 3-way with Angle (who seems to be a shadow of his former self), JBL will retain for the WM main event against Cena. What does Show do at Mania?


Both Willie Nelson and FULL Nelson love all in one recap...
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 481 days
Last activity: 481 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.30
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Since Dean has so graciously done my grocery shopping the night before a forecasted snowstorm, I will start this week’s workrate report. This, I repeat, this will not become a habit.

    What worked:
    10 minutes in and nothing has happened so maybe I won’t have to do this for too long at all. OK, I have married to Dean way too long when I just explained a “hot tag” to my 8 year old daughter. I was just telling her that I bet the Basham brothers are going to win since I smell a hot tag. I’m starting to scare myself. I just love Eddie and his swagger. At least the Basham guy that’s been in the ring since the beginning.

    DEAN GETS HOME.








DEAN, you are home schooling your children, and yet at the age of 8 your daughter didn't know what a hot tag was? I thought by that age, you would have her deconstructing the Rock 'n Roll Express vs. The Andersons.
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 453 days
Last activity: 414 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.03
Darn it, Scotty 2 Hotty making it to the Rumble means I didn't pick all the Rumble participants correctly. http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=24157#280233

With Dupree losing his Rumble qualifying, I guess that means Scotty 2 Hotty gets his spot.



NOTE: The above post makes no sense. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Freeway
Scrapple








Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 307 days
Last activity: 4 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.90
    Originally posted by Mr. Boffo
    Darn it, Scotty 2 Hotty making it to the Rumble means I didn't pick all the Rumble participants correctly. http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=24157#280233

    With Dupree losing his Rumble qualifying, I guess that means Scotty 2 Hotty gets his spot.


No, it doesn't. Charlie Haas has won AND lost a qualifier, but he's in the match because he won one of 'em. The fact is that they don't really have a lot of Rumble-worthy folks, so we get Scotty 2 Hotty in the Rumble (and probably Viscera as Random Fat Guy) and Edge & Shawn Michaels doing double-duty.



"Illusions, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...or candy!" - G.O.B. Bluth, Arrested Development

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As much as I enjoy the occasional Cactus Jack or Terry Funk match, I'm more than happy to see barbed wire left to the ECW wannabes and the Japanese garbage feds. Some things are just a bit too far.
- Shem the Penman, Barbwire (2002)
Related threads: Smackdown/Velocity spoilers for 1/19 - your WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 1/13/2005! - Smackdown spoiler and U.S. Title spoiler? - More...
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