So this Sunday, January 9th, the first WWE PPV of the year...and I suppose the first ever WWE PPV in Puerto Rico? Well basically, this PPV is a perfect example of what's wrong with the WWE today. The ppv's are horribly average or just not worth buying. The cards are dull and hacked together. I mean less than 2 weeks before they only had like 3 matches announced. This is not the proper way to sell such an expensive program, whether its a one match show/card or not. So here we go:
Muhammed Hassan vs. Jerry Lawler Great another useless feud with Jerry Lawler and someone else. Why is Hassan feuding with Lawler and Ross? Why isn't he feuding with an actual wrestler? I don't like these foreign, Anti-American characters/gimmicks. They always peter out very quickly, they never last. I say Hassan takes this one.
Gene Snitsky vs. Kane So Kane's a face now I guess. And Snitsky is now playing the exact same role that Kane was doing a few months ago. Ironic, huh? For whatever reason, I don't see this feud ending anytime soon so I predict it ends with some sort of non-finish.
Women's Title Match: Lita (c) vs. Trish Stratus Good God. Lita vs. Trish...AGAIN?! This division is boring and dull nowadays...though its been such for quite a long time. I say Lita retains her title.
Tag Team Title Match: Eugene and Regal (c) vs. Captain Charisma and Useless sack of crap...I mean Tyson Tomko The tag division has really gone down the toilet on both shows. It seems the only champs nowadays are the make-shift, mismatched partners. The tag team division is not nearly as exciting as it could be or has been. I'm predicting Eugene and Regal to gain retribution after Regal's loss to Tomko on Heat, and Eugene's loss to Christian on RAW.
Intercontinental Title Match: Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Maven They didn't even announce this match on RAW. Maven challenged Benjamin, but I never saw Benjamin answer the challenge or see Bischoff make the match. Maybe they did and I might've missed that segment...don't think so though. I really don't care about this match at all, I like Benjamin, but he doesn't really have any interesting opponents as the champ. Its like, eh...the best they can do for Benjamin is Maven, who has pretty much been a jobber for quite some time. I mean Maven's been fodder on Heat quite frequently for Tyson Tomko and Batista, and now he's competing for the IC title on PPV? Eh eh. Benjamin retains and hopefully moves on to feud with someone better.
Elimination Chamber Match for the vacant World Heavyweight Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. Batista with HBK, Shawn Michaels as the special guest referee Poor Benoit and Jericho, I really think they are going to be the match's first victims. What's really been built up in this match is the clash of the evolution members: Triple H, Batista, and former member Orton. Is it possible that the whole thing is just a ruse and Batista will help Triple H win? What I would think would be most interesting is if, Triple H and Batista cause each other to get eliminated. The final remaining 2 should be Edge and something else, and despite Shawn Michaels, Edge is able to pull out the victory and the title win. That gives you your RAW world title match for the Royal Rumble in Edge/HBK. A singles matche we have never seen! WHOA! This would then lead up to Edge vs. Benoit at Wrestlemania as it seems they still have some unfinished business. Also, Jericho and Edge never finished their IC title feud last fall. Remember Edge said when he comes back he and Jericho were going to finish it one on one. Well never happened, though I guess you could argue...tonight since Edge beat Jericho. As much as I'd like to see Edge win, I'm going with the safe prediction of Triple H.
In conclusion, this weekend I'm probably just going to save my money and watch 2 hours of 24 Day 4 for free instead.
(edited by The Vile1 on 3.1.05 2338)
"Don't compare my arm...to your cheap arm!" -Edward Elric
Mohammad Hassan [w/Khosrow Daivari] vs. Jerry Lawler [w/Jim Ross]: Yes, Virginia, the roster is this thin on RAW. There's no reason for Lawler to go over. They put him over Tazz for no reason a few years back, completely burying him as a serious competitor. Will they do the same to Hassan? I'm saying...NO. Hassan DESTROYS Lawler, and we get Coachman at the commentator's desk for the rest of the night.
Tag Team Champions William Regal & Eugene vs. Christian & Tyson Tomko: It's odd that these are the best throw-together teams they could've come up with. What about La Resistance? And what about Tajiri & Rhyno? And why doesn't Trish hang out with Christian & Tomko anymore? I say there's no reason to switch the titles from a face team that's over, or to bog down Christian with a semi-permanent partner like Tomko. Regal & Eugene by a country mile.
Women's Champion Lita vs. Trish Stratus: This is the only marquee Women's feud around, so it makes no sense to do a switch here. They're gonna drag this out through the Rumble and Mania, so I say if there's a switch it's at one of those shows. Lita wins.
Kane vs. Gene Snitsky: Kane gets the win back. There's probably gonna be a twist between now and Mania...I just can't figure out what it is.
Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven: MAVEN?? Pfff... Shelton wins.
Elimination Chamber: HHH [w/Ric Flair] vs. Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton: Let's work backwards. HHH has to come into WrestleMania as the champion, if the rumored HHH/Orton/Batista or HHH/Orton matches are to come to pass. So, that rules out Batista & Orton. HHH could win it on Sunday, but that would make the Royal Rumble pretty anti-climatic in terms of title matches. So, a face has to win and drop the belt to HHH. That leaves Benoit & Jericho. Benoit has beaten HHH a bunch of times and HHH has yet to get the win back. Why not at the Rumble? Benoit wins by getting Batista to tap out to the Crossface.
"Illusions, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...or candy!" - G.O.B. Bluth, Arrested Development
Hassan vs. Lawler: Hassan, thanks to Khosovo "Where'd my first name go?" Daivari.
Maven vs. Shelton: Shelton.
Eugene/Regal vs. Christian/Tomko: Eugene and Regal.
Lita vs. Trish: Lita retains, doesn't break her neck.
Kane vs. Snitsky: Kane by DQ. Wins gimmick match at Rumble.
Chamber: Edge wins after ducking a Michaels superkick that hits Orton. Order of elimination: Benoit (Batista), Jericho (Batista), Batista (Orton), Triple H (Orton), Orton (Edge).
"He is the most overrated piece of crap in the league. He bitched and whined after he got his ass beaten in New England last year, so the NFL changed the rules. Then he got his ass beaten in New England again. Every year he's the top MVP candidate. Every year he's supposed to be the best. Every year he's going to carry the Colts to the Super Bowl. And every single year he goes to New England and gets his ass beaten. And his brother's a whiny little bitch." -A friend of mine, on Peyton Manning
The card will open with something to get the crowd animated, so I'm going with Christian/Tomko - by shenanigans since Regal/Eugene will still be over regardless of the result, and Christian/Tomko need something to do. I hope this is not where we see Regal accidentally hit Eugene with the brass knucks to start their breakup storyline feud. I don't think they're stale enough yet to do this - they are getting good crowd heat.
Lita retains via DQ.
Kane - via Snitsky gets himself DQ'd, but IT'S NOT HIS FAULT!
Maven - as I said in the Raw post, Maven is being pushed pretty hard, and could really benefit from a title. Shelton will be over even if he loses by shenanigans. Now that the latest round of Tough Enough is over, I wouldn't be surprised to see Al Snow or another TE contender show up to help Maven. This is Maven's chance to show what he can do, I expect they get 10+ minutes, a couple of dropkicks, but possibly the best psychology of any match on the card. I hope for Shelton's sake that Maven doesn't botch any moves.
Hassan - too new to bury to an old pervert, so he wins via outside help from Ilostmyfirstname.
Elim chamber - HHH wins yet another title after playing dead for some time so all the other guys do the work. Jericho is the star of the match, as someone will need to carry Edge, Orton, and Batista. Expect everyone to bleed, and Flair interference causes more friction between HHH and Batista.
After typing this all out, I notice I don't foresee any clean pins/submissions. This time of year, nobody's character will want to give anything away, they all want to look strong going into the Rumble and Mania.
Lawler vs. Hassan: This could be an interesting crowd dynamic match. I'm working under the presumption that at some point in the past 30 years Lawler has worked Puerto Rico, and has worked the territory as a heel. Hassan actually gets face pops in this match, completely confusing Vince backstage. Hassan wins, then gets repackaged due to the face pops.
Maven vs. Benjamin: Maven brings out every Tough Enough Bunch trick he can think of: Johnny Bench, The Chicken, Tommy Lasorda in a Wizard costume inside a mirror, in order to try to get the I-C Title. Unfortunately, he still sucks. Benjamin wins, and hopefully Maven will be left in Puerto Rico.
Kane vs. Snitsky: When Hosses meet, and the feud needs to go on for a few months, always fall back on Double DQ.
Eugene/Regal vs. Tomko/Christian: Speaking of people to leave in Puerto Rico, Generic Hoss #9 Tomko fits the bill. Should be a good match, provided Tomko remains on the ring apron. Title change needs to occur at some point, might as well be here. Tomko/Christian win.
Lita vs. Trish: Lita wins, buries the entire division.
Elimination Chamber: Jericho is eliminated first. Edge and Benoit double pin each other for a double elimination. Orton RKO's Batista and walks into a sledgehammer from Trip, Trip pins both simultaneously, and gets #10, as the road to surpass Flair's #16 while finding ways not to actually lose the belt continues.
Muhammed Hassan vs. Jerry Lawler Sadly, I don't see Hassan busting out his still-unseen finisher on 50-year-old Lawler. Cheats to win.
Gene Snitsky vs. Kane A rested Kane kills him dead.
Women's Title Match: Lita (c) vs. Trish Stratus Trish was practically the UnderTrisher last night, killing poor Victoria, bedecked in her scowl and black outfit. Lita loses, moving her over as Kane's valet and allowing Trish to build up Molly and Victoria in three-way matches.
Tag Team Title Match: Eugene and Regal (c) vs. Captain Charisma and Tyson Tomko And Christian is relegated to the tag scene AGAIN. Sadness. The champs have to retain because there's nothing else for them to do otherwise. Tomko hits Christian and provides us finally with a face Christian to cheer for in the underdog role.
Intercontinental Title Match: Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Maven Maven steals it, allowing the fans to root for Shelton in the pursuing-face mode.
Elimination Chamber Match for the vacant World Heavyweight Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. Batista with HBK, Shawn Michaels as the special guest referee Any decision is fine except for Triple H retaining, which I suspect will happen as he turns on Batista out of paranoia. I get the feeling the match last night was a sign the WWE is scuttling the Orton/Triple H WM feud.
(edited by Matt Tracker on 4.1.05 0810)
(edited by Matt Tracker on 4.1.05 1054) "To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Originally posted by Matt TrackerTomko hits Christian and provides us finally with a face Christian to cheer for in the underdog role.
I like where your heart is on this, but the minute he turns face and he gets to be called Captain Charisma for real instead of out of mock, the gimmick is dead. I wouldn't want to see that at this point and I don't think you do, either.
Originally posted by Matt Tracker I get the feeling the match last night was a sign the WWE is scuttling the Orton/Triple H WM feud.
Yeah, it seemed as if the sole purpose of an entire night's booking was to lob a test balloon to see if HHH-Orton one-on-one would fly or not. It wasn't the worst match I've ever seen, just not the best, either. It depends how much the WWE wants to trust the judgement of the Long Island crowd, which has always been a little here-and-there at times. But give Chris Benoit a major assist in helping to put Batista over as a monster. Keeping in mind that only common logic and the rumor mills have made this the main event at WM, it's still not too late to pull a 180 and move Orton in another direction if they decide not to call for the 3-way. None of those scenarios would surprise me right now. But they have given themselves an out if they don't think Orton-HHH works as a WrestleMania main event.
Oh and by the way, was the underlying message from that one segment (besides Regal's awesomeness, natch) that people who like Lindsay Lohan's CD are, er, special?
"If you've got a Corvette that runs into a brick wall, you know what's gonna happen."
Originally posted by Blanket JacksonI like where your heart is on this, but the minute he turns face and he gets to be called Captain Charisma for real instead of out of mock, the gimmick is dead. I wouldn't want to see that at this point and I don't think you do, either.
I see it being used as Jericho's claims of Paragon of Virtue or Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah. And he can totally claim to be Captain Charisma; he won Trish.
Originally posted by Blanket JacksonIt wasn't the worst match I've ever seen, just not the best, either. It depends how much the WWE wants to trust the judgement of the Long Island crowd, which has always been a little here-and-there at times.
And the way they booked the match to include all 6 particpants of the impending PPV including HBK as the ref who counted the pinfall. It was loaded.
Originally posted by Blanket JacksonOh and by the way, was the underlying message from that one segment (besides Regal's awesomeness, natch) that people who like Lindsay Lohan's CD are, er, special?
I thought that until Regal started boogeying. I think it was just a way to introduce Eugene's fetish for redheads. Which means poor Lita is gonna start thinking she just attracts the freaks.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Muhammed Hassan vs. Jerry Lawler Pretty much a no-brainer here, because a Lawler win would do absolutely nothing unless they plan to abort the Hassan push. But they sure as heck will not. Hassan wins via cheating.
Gene Snitsky vs. Kane Kane will somehow get the official win, but the after-math will probably have Snitsky destroy Kane yet again so to keep his heat somewhat going. Or at the most, we'll have a brawl which continues backstage.
Lita vs. Trish Lita retains for the time being, though let's face it, there's not much for them to continue fighting about for the title if it's just between them and Victoria and Molly. They're gonna have to find new storylines and fast.
Regal and Eugene vs. Christian and Tomko Christian really needs to move up at some point, but since he's not going to do anything for months, it seems he'll be busy bugging these two. The tag champs will retain via some backfire by Tomko, leading to a prolonged tag feud.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven I would not be surprised if the WWE gives the belt to Maven just to piss off the crowd ('heel heat') and to make sure the PPV has one title change. That said, logic dictates Benjamin retains. Logic, mind you...
The Evolution Chamber, oops, I mean the Elimination Chamber Definately not any of the Canadians, it will either go to Orton, Batista or HHH. Edge might have a chance due to the HBK bit but that's not likely given the focus is on Batista/HHH. HHH will retain, er, 'regain', the title to add another notch to his pointless title reign column. Bleh.
As for the WM main event, I dunno, but if it is gonna be HHH/Batista instead, I suspect the Royal Rumble title match will be HHH/Orton, natch.
Hassan vs. Lawler - This feud's getting boring pretty fast, especially as JR and Lawler's responses to the debate were only mildly more articulate than the 'USA!' chants. Nobody should want to see really old guys wrestle, it's bad enough Ric Flair still being around. I don't expect much from the match but hopefully Hassan will win in a clean fight with no interference so his character can move on somewhere better.
Lita vs. Trish - Lita's my favourite female wrestler of all time, and while it may get dull to have her constantly retaining the title, until a more interesting opponent comes along i wouldn't have it any other way.
Regal/Eugene vs. Christian/Tomko - I disagree completely with TheVile1:
The tag division has really gone down the toilet on both shows. It seems the only champs nowadays are the make-shift, mismatched partners. The tag team division is not nearly as exciting as it could be or has been.
Eugene and Regal are one of the most entertaining teams ever, they do need better opposition though; Christian hasn't been worth watching for years, and the only good thing about Tomko is his badass tattoos. The champions should retain. As for the state of the Smackdown tag teams, Rey and RVD have been great champs and even seem to have a sort of rivalry with Eddie and Booker T being set up which manages to seem 'frienldy' while still not boring to watch. All the comedy banter has been as quality as the in-ring action too.
Elimination chamber - I'd be happiest with a Batista win (especially one over HHH) and recent events don't make that seem too unlikely. As long as HHH is taken down a notch i'm happy. I like Jericho, but Edge and him just seem like fodder. An Orton win would be acceptable, and as long as Benoit does some stupid flying headbutts he should be fun to watch.
Benjamin vs. Maven - I don't even really care. It'd be nice to see Maven win by cheating somehow while the ref's conveniently distracted, then Benjamin's character could be developed (created) when he vows to win the title back in the future, and does so.
"That's what the internet is for - slandering others anonymously"
Lawler vs. Hassain: Hassain gets the W and sets up his Wrestlemaia Match with Foley by becoming the Forgein Legend Killer. Terrible gimmick and sadly one that shows the ignorance of the WWE fan.
Trish vs. Lita: These two have great chemistry and their last match was probably the best women's match of the last two years. I say Lita retains, Vicky goes heel shortly afterwards to set-up a fourway at Mania with Lita vs. Trish vs. Victoria vs. Molly.
Kane vs. Snitsky. Kane beats Snitsky, but Gene does something prolong the fued on Monday to set-up Brothers of Destruction vs. Two Hosses who love poetry.
Shelton vs. Maven. I can almost see Maven getting the belt, because Shelton has had the title since Taboo Tuesday and thus set-up a rematch Mania. This could be the sleeper fued of the year.
Eugene/Regal vs. Christian/Tomko. Christian is being waisted in the tag division, but then again so Regal. It will be the fun match of the night with Eugene hitting the F-5 for the win on Tomko. I see no problems with Eugene/Regal being champs, because I am really sick of La Resistance.
The Elemination Chamber with special guest refree HBK: HBK has had a nice history of counting to three when HHH is pinning someone, I expect that to happen as well. Jericho will be the first one eleminated even though he is getting equal or bigger pops than Orton. Then Edge, who will spear HBK on his way out, then Benoit, finally Batista and HHH will pin Orton to be our new world's champion even though he was our world champ prior to this. If it helps him beat Flair's record, good for him, I guess. If the booking was better Orton winning and then setting up for the Evolution Main Event for Wrestelmania. I just don't see the buyrate soaring for Mania unless they bring Hogan in for the Hall of Fame and do it right there.
(edited by A Fan on 4.1.05 0947) "All faith reguires is giving into the possibility of hope."
Maven vs Shelton: Shelton does not come this far to lose to Tough Enough winner. I quote Not Just Another Teen Movie, "I am supposed to be the black guy in this movie"
Eugene/Regal vs Christian/Tomko: Eugene and Reagel
Lita vs Trish: Trish- Trish is the only watchable woman in the divison now that it is down to four.
Kane vs Snitsky: If they want Snitsky to do anything else in wrestling then he needs to win this match. If KAne wins then Snitsky will be as dead as Lita's baby.
Chamber: I hope they hold off on the Batista title win. HHH or Orton need to win to make the WM amin event mean something against Batista. So I say they give it to HHH, with a possible HBK reunion in the process.
PAM ANDERSON on being named E!'s best blonde: "The carpet don't match the drapes!" "... Just kidding, there is no carpet."
Hassain vs Lawler-Do people in Puerto Rico care about this storyline? Lita vs Trish- They fired Gail Kim for this? Kane vs Snisky-if Kane didn't turn face then Matt Hardy could've returned Regal/Eugene vs Christian/Tomko-Chris and Tom Elimanation Chamber-WWE puts all the Raw ME in one match after them facing each other for last Raw. Please WWE create more ME'ters! My pick Edge drops to Triple H at Rumble or No Way Out.
-The Master S
(edited by The Master S on 4.1.05 1501)When you face death in the eye kick him in the balls and run, run as fast as you can
Random Anti-American Doofus vs Random Pro-American Doofus -who cares, just the non-wrestler squash of the month.
Baby Killer vs Reformed Monster in a clash of Legendary Women abusers- hmm... who cares. Im sure Kane's winning but even if Snitsky gets put over, Im not gonna comment.
Women's Title- Raw's Cruiserweight belt- another "who cares" to this. It makes me laugh when King or J.R. introduce Lita or someone as "also a former Women's Champion". Who isnt? Linda Macmahon and Rene Dupree's poodle Fifi are probably in the top ten contenders list.
Mentally Challanged Mimic and Regal vs Christian and his bootleg counterfeit Batista- cant really say I care either way (shocker) although Regal and Eugene are way more entertaining than Charisma and the Problem Solvent or whatever his face is.
Shelton Benjamin vs Random Jobber turned Heel of the Month- Shelton Benjamin is the best newcomer bar none. Forget Cena and Orton (though Vince wont let you)- Shelton is the man of the future. If WWE isnt run by clinically retarded chimps Shelton will win the match against whats-his-mom.
Heavyweight Championship of the World I think it will be interesting if Edge, Benoit, Jericho or Batista win but they are the least likely to. Its too early for Batista, but if Randy is former champ I wouldnt put it past the WWE.
Originally posted by TopTenProKane vs Snitsky: If they want Snitsky to do anything else in wrestling then he needs to win this match. If KAne wins then Snitsky will be as dead as Lita's baby
Well Kane hasnt won on a PPV for so long..correct? He is the Maven of PPVs IIRC
Chamber: I hope they hold off on the Batista title win. HHH or Orton need to win to make the WM amin event mean something against Batista. So I say they give it to HHH, with a possible HBK reunion in the process.
I see the Batista run in 2 ways (assuming he is set for a genuine shot) depending on what they want to do with Batista.
They can either slow run it keeping the fans guessing right up until SummerSlam or thereabouts. This then gets Batista over bigger than anyone and sets him up for a long term run.So if they slow run it HHH wins but only after more tension about Batista ''is he isnt he'' swerve
Or he could be more cannon fodder for the HHHaters who say EVERYONE is HHHs jobber. If he is a jobber then I feel he will win the chamber setting up what I think is an opportunity for Orton to join into a triple threat at WM21. ..HHH wins at WM21 the most important stage in the world wrestling arena, once again deifying him in his own mind. And then the ultimate swerve is what we knew all along..The Game was the Cerebral Assassin planning and plotting this from way before Orton turned...Orton rejoins Evolution kickstarting his career back into heel..then they can do another better slow burn on Orton.
Sorry to hijack this a little with some forward planning but in trying to work out what and who would win the chamber these thoughts have been bubbling along for a while now.
I'm going to use a short paragraph that Meltzer wrote in an Observer a while back to describe current IWA Puerto Rico booker Dutch Mantell (this is paraphrasing a bit): "Mantell's angles are old school, slow building, and highly predictable.