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The W - Pro Wrestling - your MIGHTY MIGHTY WWE WORKRATE REPORT- 9/9/2004!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1254 days
Last activity: 1251 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
I'm a little late. We ordered out for Chinese- I had the garlic and pepper with pork. Then we all got wrapped up in OUR HOSPITALITY, starring YO DADDY Buster Keaton. And then I had to hop on the terlit, and it was fun. Sorry aboot last week. You know how hard it is to watch Smackdown when you aren't in the moment.

WHAT WORKED-

- The belts are on the line. Kenzo so deeply needs a red, white and blue Flair robe. The crowd is behind Kenzo early with a rousing U-S-A chant. London is taped up like Ricky Morton in the famous tag against the Horsemen and I would welcome a revisiting of said old school angle. Kenzo works over Kidman early and Kidman gets cut off BEAUTIFULLY after a fucked up bulldog. Kidman bitches out on the SST (much to the relief of the ribs of Kenzo Sazuki) and he walks out of the ring. We go to a commercial and the first one up is that fucking CrazyWorld commercial. It made me yearn for some sweet Carolina smoke. We come back and Rene is working on London's arm. They so deeply need to get to the point where London is in a full body cast because he is the grooviest babyface in the company and his comebacks are so much fun. PLUS HE WILL FUCKING DIE 4 U. Jesus. That's a really nice SuperKick. Rene with the perfectly fine Michinoku Driver #2 and then the Kenzo STO and that's that. I was hoping for a few more comebacks, but this finish made sense actually, so I can't complain other than to say that he Kidman angle is pretty lame. I'm glad Kenzo is sporting the gold. America isn't Japan, in case you ordered those World Japan tapes and said. To yourself. "God, Yatsu is GOD. This Kenzo Suzuki is the shittiest wrestler to ever stink up a ring." See what American booking and hot valet can do for the Japanese underachiever? Revel in the glory of America. Throw up on your shoes when you watch Billy Kidman show his dramatic range. London act his ass off. He is so the Best Possible Youngblood.

- Ah sweet MicroTouch. Embarrassing Nosehair is gome LIKE THAT! Let me tell ya little story about myself. I went to Great Cuts (possibly Cutz) at the strip mall and got a fabulous flat top from a lady named Berlinda. What I noticed was that it looked like she missed a spot on the side of my head. She brushed me off and powdered the back of my neck. I felt behind my ear and it was all gone. I THEN HAD A HORRIBLE MICRoTOUCH MOMENT as I noticed that GIGANTIC stray was growing out the top of my ear. Sweet MicroTouch, how I needed your love....

- Rey Rey is great looking like he is pissed while wrestling. Oh shit- it's hardcore Holly. OH SHIT. It's RVD. Why. Why is this happening? Eh. RVD and D-Von have a perfectly fine little section of the wrestling. Spike drags Gymnastica by his pony tail and the world squeals in delight. Nadia is fucking horrible selling the chinlock and Rey Rey saves us all by making the save. Holly is fun with the hot tag- throwing the most hilariously shitty punches ever that you instantly forget when you see the attempt at a lariat. But fuck it. From that point on, it was too much fun to fight the feeling. The finish was fucking beautiful. RVD rocks the hardway and I'll take that everytime.

- Josh and Angle have a tense moment. It's too soon. Brock just left, it seems like- and now Angle wants more than Josh can psychologically give. We understand Kurt's anger and we understand Josh's position. Sometimes your heart just hits a wall and you can rage against but it's still a wall. Angle wants Josh- the way his shoulders shake and what they are shaking for. Josh is a broken soul....

- Carlito hates kids! Kids aren't cool! Carlito is Epstein! I'm THAT old! Ah, Carlito, I'm not ashamed to say I cried for you.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- COLE VERSUS HEYMAN! Ah Funaki. I guess Funaki got fucked out of money by Heyman when they came in for that PPV. Oh it's Heidenreich. Peee YOUUUU. This was reeeeeeeeeeeeeetarded. Suck suck suck. Suck. This sucked.

- The JBL vs Haas match looked good, what little I saw of it. The postmatch section so didn't work. COME ON! YER IN FUCKING OKLAHOMA! YOUR FROM FUCKING TEXXXAS. YOU CAN'T COME UP WITH ONE FUCKING INSULT? Bahhhhh.... why do I even ask.... JBL, since when were you so generous and inarticulate?

- Booker T is upset about changing clothes. The use of the amusing Teddy Long isn't enough to make it in any way redeemable. It's the stupid details my heart is breaking for. Booker T is a lumberjack.

- Cena calls Booker T a bitch. He doesn't wear a Billy Sims throwback so fuck allllll this. The truth can't hurt you, it's just like the dark....

- Trojan Warm Sensations. That warm sensation is the actual labia you are touching with your little fella and that you are inseminating because- whoops!- your crappy condom just broke. Then you cry and say, "I want to hear he pleases you more than I do." She says, "You're as wide and empty as some ocean. I won't ever lie relieved on your shore." And you fall into depression. "I want you to hold me, enfold me.... Don't stare so cold at me..."

- TOP MODEL has the longest commercial ever. instead saying whatever they are saying, they should just say, "We ain't got a bumpin' booty between us." TEll them. TELL THEM! TELL THEM. TELL THEM of your anaconda and it's screenign process! TELL THEM! Go ahead. Your Anaconda. It has standards. As does mine. Go ahead.

- They introduce the lumberjacks. And go to a commercial. I'll change my pants. Ah yes. Sweet sweet sweatpants... They kinda have a lumberjack match with the goofiness that that entails. Then we go to a commercial. Angle works Eddy over when we get back. The babyface lumberjacks start an Eddy chant while Eddy is fighting out of the Abdominal Stretch and that was good use of the folks at ringside as it leads up to Eddy suplexing to offense. Angle cuts him off and sends him into the face contingent. Eddy goes for the Locomotion Suplex but Angle turns it into an anklelock but Eddy counters and this rules. Horshu cheats and Angle hits a SWEEEET SuperPlex. And then everybody runs in and then THE BIG SHOW! comes out and chokeslams everybody. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.




YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 6 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.96
"From that point on, it was too much fun to fight the feeling. "

You can't fight this feeling anymore. You've forgotten what you started fighting for. It's time to bring this ship into the shore and throw away the oar forever.

How cool would Carlito be if all his heel actions were excused by fake notes, signed "Carlito's Mother?"



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1254 days
Last activity: 1251 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
    "From that point on, it was too much fun to fight the feeling. "

    You can't fight this feeling anymore. You've forgotten what you started fighting for. It's time to bring this ship into the shore and throw away the oar forever.

    How cool would Carlito be if all his heel actions were excused by fake notes, signed "Carlito's Mother?"


YOu are as old as ME!!!!

(And From Beyond rules. It makes my penal gland ache...)



YES, I AM DEAN.
xwesleyx
Weisswurst








Since: 23.8.04

Since last post: 3408 days
Last activity: 2833 days
#4 Posted on
"Heyyyyy Mr. Long! I gotta note!"

That lumberjack match didn't do anything for me. It looked like their timing was really off with setting up moves.

It might just be me, but I don't remember Eddie "hulking up" the way he has been the last couple of weeks. Have I just never noticed this, or is it new?
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1254 days
Last activity: 1251 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by xwesleyx
    "Heyyyyy Mr. Long! I gotta note!"

    That lumberjack match didn't do anything for me. It looked like their timing was really off with setting up moves.

    It might just be me, but I don't remember Eddie "hulking up" the way he has been the last couple of weeks. Have I just never noticed this, or is it new?


That was soooo Steamboat. It was awesome.



YES, I AM DEAN.
drjayphd
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 12 hours
AIM:  
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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.48
You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.

"I don't think you can use straight and always pounding ass in the same sentence." (Dahak)


    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
    How cool would Carlito be if all his heel actions were excused by fake notes, signed "Carlito's Mother?"


In fact, I do believe that would be the single greatest thing ever. Besides MicroTouch, of course.



DEAN's Nuggets of Wisdom:

"I don't want him to die. I just want him to NEED my PEE." (as seen here)
The Sham
Kolbasz








Since: 20.1.02
From: Hamden, CT

Since last post: 1687 days
Last activity: 1039 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.43
Am I the only that was bothered by Michael Cole's use of the non-word "galliant?" Which is it Cole? "Gallant" or "Valiant"? (The answer is, of course, "Valiant.") Anyway, if he had only said it once, I would have dismissed it as a mistake, but he said it twice.

Since Cole's not really a worker (as we witnessed tonight), I think it's okay to downgrade his workrate based on poor vocabulary. I mean, he is supposed to be a professional broadcaster, right?

Eh, maybe this isn't the place for this, but there's no other SD broadcast thread, and I KNOW this doesn't deserve its own topic.



HBK: HOLY SHIT! WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE FUCKING GEESE?
- Jeb Tennyson Lund, 1/20/04
CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

Since last post: 2 hours
Last activity: 1 hour
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.07
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Sorry aboot last week. You know how hard it is to watch Smackdown when you aren't in the moment.
So Gaston DIDN'T eat your house?

I know how hard it is to watch Smackdown - I now have FOUR episodes on the DVR. I'd tear through them but.....heeeeeeeey, time to go to the LAKE for the weekend



CRZ
fuelinjected
Banger








Since: 12.10.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 3224 days
Last activity: 3224 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.01
    Originally posted by The Sham
    Am I the only that was bothered by Michael Cole's use of the non-word "galliant?" Which is it Cole? "Gallant" or "Valiant"? (The answer is, of course, "Valiant.") Anyway, if he had only said it once, I would have dismissed it as a mistake, but he said it twice.

    Since Cole's not really a worker (as we witnessed tonight), I think it's okay to downgrade his workrate based on poor vocabulary. I mean, he is supposed to be a professional broadcaster, right?

    Eh, maybe this isn't the place for this, but there's no other SD broadcast thread, and I KNOW this doesn't deserve its own topic.


Stop being a damn BULLY!



Insensitive Funny Comment of the Week:
"You don't buy prostitutes ... They're human beings! You rent them!" Artie Lange
Phantom Lord
Salami








Since: 18.6.04
From: The Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn, NY

Since last post: 3188 days
Last activity: 2984 days
AIM:  
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.25
Carlito hates kids! Kids aren't cool! Carlito is Epstein! I'm THAT old! Ah, Carlito, I'm not ashamed to say I cried for you.

You know I still say Carlito Caribbean Cool is the gayest name in the history of sports (Though while watching ESPN earlier they noted that the Alanta Braves when they were in Boston were known as The Boston Beaneaters before the turn of the century)

But damn that promo was funny. I was wrong about this character. It's gonna be funny as hell watching this poor man's Razor Ramon in action.

I just had a thought about Epstien. If TNA can get Screech, then I'm pretty sure Horshack would be more then willing to come in and sell a beating from Carlito.

Carlito: Mang...you were never cool. Now Epstien...he was cool. Cool like me...Carlito Caribbean Cooooooool.

This shit really does just write it self.



Free For All Daily: The Times are a changin
Read The Rant of the Week...Only on LordsofPain.Net
dMp
Banger








Since: 4.1.02
From: The Hague, Netherlands (Europe)

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 1 day
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.47
Question (might as well ask it here):
How are Carlito's wrestling skills?

I like btw how he doesn't keep his cool in the promos only to regain it a mere second or two later..

And Josh might be a broken soul but he needs to understand that there is plenty more love in this world. He is still young, he can learn to love again. He must..



*sigh* Why bother?
StaggerLee
Scrapple








Since: 3.10.02
From: Right side of the tracks

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 8 hours
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.12
    Originally posted by The Sham
    Am I the only that was bothered by Michael Cole's use of the non-word "galliant?" Which is it Cole? "Gallant" or "Valiant"? (The answer is, of course, "Valiant.") Anyway, if he had only said it once, I would have dismissed it as a mistake, but he said it twice.

    Since Cole's not really a worker (as we witnessed tonight), I think it's okay to downgrade his workrate based on poor vocabulary. I mean, he is supposed to be a professional broadcaster, right?

    Eh, maybe this isn't the place for this, but there's no other SD broadcast thread, and I KNOW this doesn't deserve its own topic.


Gallant (gal-e-ent)

Smartly or boldly stylish; dashing: a gallant feathered hat; cut a gallant figure at the coronation.

Unflinching in battle or action; valiant: put up a gallant resistance to the attackers.
Nobly or selflessly resolute: made a gallant attempt to save his friend's reputation.
Stately; majestic.
(g-lnt, -lnt)
Courteously attentive especially to women; chivalrous.
Flirtatious; amorous.



Thank you for your irrelevant opinion.

Doe, Ray, Me, Fa, So, La, TITO SANTANA!
Net Hack Slasher
Banger








Since: 6.1.02
From: Outer reaches of your mind

Since last post: 3552 days
Last activity: 1972 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.97
Kenzo Sazuki has won a title. It's more difficult to get a Blockbuster card than getting WWE gold... Carlito introduction promos are okay, just because it's not just a guy working out and grunting like 90% of rookies coming up.

Michael Cole shouldn't be calling out anyone, even Paul Heyman. That's just wrong!... The main event was good, but can't say I found Big Show walk in and squash ville to be anything all that interesting.

There were so me guys in a section that was missing everyone with signs saying We miss Bret Hart, Foley and Rico.



smark/net attack wienerville advisory is raised to ORANGE alert - High (Benoit lost the title to some punk kid named Orton, lets look at the positive at least it's a heel not named HHH who has the title, which allows two fresh faces battling for the World title.. whaat? excuse me? what happened on Raw! well scratch that... Over to Smackdown we wave at Justin Bradshaws title reign, I think I'm getting sea sick)- 8/22
pieman
As young as
he feels








Since: 11.12.01
From: China, Maine

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 hour
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.56

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    - Ah sweet MicroTouch. Embarrassing Nosehair is gome LIKE THAT! Let me tell ya little story about myself. I went to Great Cuts (possibly Cutz) at the strip mall and got a fabulous flat top from a lady named Berlinda. What I noticed was that it looked like she missed a spot on the side of my head. She brushed me off and powdered the back of my neck. I felt behind my ear and it was all gone. I THEN HAD A HORRIBLE MICRoTOUCH MOMENT as I noticed that GIGANTIC stray was growing out the top of my ear. Sweet MicroTouch, how I needed your love....


You let someone named Berlinda cut your hair? You really are insane.




Gabba gabba hey!
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1254 days
Last activity: 1251 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by pieman
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      - Ah sweet MicroTouch. Embarrassing Nosehair is gome LIKE THAT! Let me tell ya little story about myself. I went to Great Cuts (possibly Cutz) at the strip mall and got a fabulous flat top from a lady named Berlinda. What I noticed was that it looked like she missed a spot on the side of my head. She brushed me off and powdered the back of my neck. I felt behind my ear and it was all gone. I THEN HAD A HORRIBLE MICRoTOUCH MOMENT as I noticed that GIGANTIC stray was growing out the top of my ear. Sweet MicroTouch, how I needed your love....


    You let someone named Berlinda cut your hair? You really are insane.


Berlinda is the QUEEN of Chesterfield County Hairstylists. She used the big flat top board and everything. It ruled.



YES, I AM DEAN.
too-old-now
Bockwurst








Since: 7.1.04

Since last post: 1261 days
Last activity: 186 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.29
Dean -

I am convinced yet again that your recaps are better than Smackdown! itself. Yet I miss the thoughts of CRZ's hair...Absence will make the heart grow fonder.

As far as the rasslin' goes, whilst I am disappointed that London/ZZZZZZZ lost the tag belts I agree that the match itself worked surprisingly better than I thought it would from the spoilers. Does London being taped up actually makes him look larger than he is? Best part is, this story definitely will continue and we'll get to see more London killing himself for our entertainment. So much of Smackdown's problems for those 'smarks among us boil down to the stories being exasperatingly predictable. But where are they going with the London/Kidman angle? They can go with the team split if London can't take it anymore, but they can also go with Kidman "overcoming" his fears and hitting the Shooting Star...just imagine the pop if they build that up right, with London selling the continuous beatings and getting more and more tape/casts each week.

Since Rene/Kenzo can't possibly keep the tag titles for 2 months, I would like to see Rene try to steal Kenzo's valet - copying the angle from Cheers when the French Henri with the worst possible accent told Woody - "I am going to steal your girlfriend", while Sam had to agree that "She is beautiful, non"

I liked the Hardcore, RVD and Rey match against the Dudleys - the crowd was certainly in to it. I was not a fan of Spike's heel turn as he is too naturally easy to root for, but I gotta admit the storyline is working.

I fear we will see Cole vs. Heyman at the next SD! PPV. Cole didn't call out Heyman, he responded to Heyman's reaction to Teddy telling him Heyman had to face an announcer. Heyman really is one of the best in his role - he seems to make most of his storylines work and get angles over. Is Hnnnnr too much for him to handle? How long before either Tazz steps in to "defend" Cole from Hnnnnr, only to get squashed himself? If this angle means we get to see a Tazzmission, I'll accept it, otherwise I could do without this. In any event, I hope Cole/Heyman does not fall to the depths of Coach/JR, or take more than 3 minutes.

Epstein was a Puerto Rican Jew, who thought of his mom as a saint. Triple C is no Epstein - yet. A sweathog stable might be fun for 2-3 weeks max. But which Diva will bring the Tuna Casserole?

I thought both Kurt and Eddie were slightly off tonight, almost as if they were tired of working with each other...

Overall, a fine show to see in between the Patriots continued domination of the Colts.

Walmart now sells the MicroTouch - as seen on TV, in the clearance bin for $10. I will wait until next week when it'll be only $4, and get them for the whole family!

FurryHippie
Frankfurter








Since: 29.10.02
From: New York

Since last post: 2942 days
Last activity: 1630 days
AIM:  
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.93
    Originally posted by StaggerLee
      Originally posted by The Sham
      Am I the only that was bothered by Michael Cole's use of the non-word "galliant?" Which is it Cole? "Gallant" or "Valiant"? (The answer is, of course, "Valiant.") Anyway, if he had only said it once, I would have dismissed it as a mistake, but he said it twice.

      Since Cole's not really a worker (as we witnessed tonight), I think it's okay to downgrade his workrate based on poor vocabulary. I mean, he is supposed to be a professional broadcaster, right?

      Eh, maybe this isn't the place for this, but there's no other SD broadcast thread, and I KNOW this doesn't deserve its own topic.


    Gallant (gal-e-ent)

    Smartly or boldly stylish; dashing: a gallant feathered hat; cut a gallant figure at the coronation.

    Unflinching in battle or action; valiant: put up a gallant resistance to the attackers.
    Nobly or selflessly resolute: made a gallant attempt to save his friend's reputation.
    Stately; majestic.
    (g-lnt, -lnt)
    Courteously attentive especially to women; chivalrous.
    Flirtatious; amorous.


He really IS saying "gallant"? I, too, get pissed every time he says that made-up sounding word "GALLIANT". Sham, I don't know if this was the first time you've noticed it, but he's been saying "galliant" for a looooong time. It pisses me off every time, and I'm SURE he's been trying to merge two words into one. His "Pound and Ground" comments every week about Cena's offense piss me off (and everybody else) too. I don't think anybody cares to correct the guy, cause well, it's Michael Cole. They probably don't listen to him anyway.
asteroidboy
Andouille








Since: 22.1.02
From: Texas

Since last post: 1392 days
Last activity: 300 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.06
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Trojan Warm Sensations. That warm sensation is the actual labia you are touching with your little fella and that you are inseminating because- whoops!- your crappy condom just broke.


ahhaahahahahahaha. Please never stop warning us about Trojans.

And RVD's in the worked column? That makes for a great report!

AND why is Sazuki the "bronze warrior" when CLEARLY Dupree is the one hitting the skin bronzer?



-- Asteroid Boy

Now on 411


Wiener of the day: 23.7.02, 3.12.03

"If you want me to watch the shows, buy tickets when you come to town, buy t-shirts, and pay for a PPV every three days, you bet your ass I'm going to hard to impress. And when you give me stuff that blows and then tell me I don't get a vote on sharing that opinion, I'm going to tell you to go catch an STD." - Hogan's My Dad

"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex
"Was he no-selling?" - Me


JoshMann
Andouille








Since: 17.11.03
From: Tallahassee, FL

Since last post: 2254 days
Last activity: 2252 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.54
    Originally posted by drjayphd
      Originally posted by Matt Tracker
      How cool would Carlito be if all his heel actions were excused by fake notes, signed "Carlito's Mother?"


    In fact, I do believe that would be the single greatest thing ever. Besides MicroTouch, of course.


I'll call that bet and raise with a stable featuring CCC, Booker T, Billy Kidman* and Johnny The Bull.

*For some odd reason, casting Kidman as Horshack just felt right.



(edited by Blanket Jackson on 10.9.04 1309)

I knew I smelled that odd combination of fear and baby powder
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1254 days
Last activity: 1251 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by too-old-now
    Yet I miss the thoughts of CRZ's hair...Absence will make the heart grow fonder.


When I had CRZ's hair committing fauntasy acts of violence against people in commercials, I feel that I have crossed some line in my soul.

And are they REALLY stealing from CHEERS? THat's awesome.



YES, I AM DEAN.
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2000 was just one year after 1999. Next year, I think it's pretty safe to say that WrestleMania XX will draw a reasonably good buyrate (500,000?)
- SKLOKAZOID, Recent WWE Buyrates (HA!) (2003)
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