The W
Views: 99997404
Main | FAQ | Search: Y! / G | Calendar | Color chart | Log in for more!
24.10.14 1358
The W - Pro Wrestling - your MIGHTY MIGHTY WWE WORKRATE REPORT- 6/4/2004!
This thread has 10 referrals leading to it
Register and log in to post!
Thread rated: 6.42
Pages: 1
(6479 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
User
Post (16 total)
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1292 days
Last activity: 1290 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
OOP! I'm late! Had to run to Toano, VA and pick up even MORE children to permeate my cul-de-sac this weekend- filling my house with 5 amazingly screechy little girls. Luckily, I do have a twelve of Milwaukee's Best Light ("LIGHT?!?! Is Dean actually GAY?" You ask. No. Gay people would stereotypically drink expensive wines. Confused overweight rednecks drink Lite Swill. I'm drinking it for the obvious reason. I'M GOING TO DRINK MYSELF THIN! WOO-HOO! I'M MELTING THE FAT AWAY! THAT'S RIGHT LADIES!m ,/ m,?M> ,) (I went to get a beer and my 23 month old son came over and banged on the keyboard. He seems fixated on "m"s. He also started saying the "I'm SPICY!" thing from the Burger King commercial and it is TOO adorable 2B B-Lieved. I'm serious. It's unbelievably cute.)

WHAT WORKED-

- Eddy and Danny Basham have a wrestling match. I was going to comment on how lethargic Danny is but he whips out the CRAVATE and mark out like a fricking 9 year old. They edit his punches. Danny sells the triple suplex like a postmatch indie hug and we go straight to the fabulous cheating to win.

- CHAVO CLASSIC DEFENDS THE BELT! The robe is FUCKING FLY- soo evil Terry Taylor in UWF. CHAVO CLASSIC wears the belt to the ring because he is old school as an absolute motherfucker. CHAVO CLASSIC punks Funaki like he's come across Verne Gagne and Vader making out behind a dumpster at the Cauliflower Alley convention. CHAVO CLASSIC bumps to the floor like fucking Violencia in 1997. Funaki does a Lee Scott offense and THEN. CHAVO CLASSIC. POINTS. TO. HIS. DICK. Chavito cheats to get CHAVO CLASSIC to win. The bitches pour over the roll to swarm on CHAVO CLASSICS junk. As it should be.

- Renee Dupree has fans and it sucks. The WANG cannot suck up to the masses. The masses must suck up to the WANG! Rey Rey comes out and we get to see what he can do with the Faux Francais stiff. Rey Rey does lots of Mini offense- which is disturbing. Renee Dupree's punches are fucking HORRENDOUSLY shitty. He does sell the hamstring well, I guess. Rey Rey's punches look like Dick Murdock's in comparison. Dupree is pretty good not fucking up selling ReyRey's offense. Dupree gets the deserved face pop for fucking up the ludicrous 619 setup. TAZZ is SPRUNG when Renee dances. Rey Rey steals a win and I wonder if Renee is destined to be this years A-Train. No, that can't be it. A-Train could actually work.

- HEY! A Hardees commercial reminds me that I ate ONE POUND of ground beef at lunch today- a 2/3 lb Big Burger and 1/3 lb mushroom and gravy burger. Uuuhhhhhhh, so good... so bloated.. so colon-destroyingly gigantic. We shall guess what we find in the terlit tomorrow. I'm sorry.

- JBL has some stipulations. He SHOULD be GREAT demanding respect from the Canadian rubes in attendence. He doesn't fucking insult them enough. WHAT THE FUCK? He can kick Mexicans in the ass but Canadians are off limits? WHAT IN THE FUCK? THEY'RE CANADIANS! YOU'RE A FUCKING TEXAN! THIS SHOW SUCKS! MY SISTER IS A GODDAM TEXAN AND SHE WOULD SET TORONTO ON FIRE TO GET THAT GIMMICK OVER IF THEY EVER ALLOWED HER ACROSS THE BORDER! (okay, he said "simple-minded Canadians. We protect you! Treat me with respect." Fuck it. It goes back up yonder. This show rules.) Eddy motherfucking Guerrerro in a bullrope match at the Scope in Norfolk? Fuck, I might make that trip.

- MUGAtaker versus Booker T should be good. If MT goes all old school, it works to the strength of Booker T. MT with the perfectly fine elbow drop. Booker T cuts off MT's signature spots and MT hits a nice legdrop and goes all BATTLtaker with the work on the arm. Yeah, this match is good. MUGAtaker bumps to the floor as we go to commercial. I join you in thinking about CRZ's pretty hair. Mmmmm... I bet it's strawberry henna or that Pert smell.... Sweet missile dropkick. MUGAtaker sells out of the sleeper and this is worked pretty smartly. Booker T cuts off MT's comebacks and finally succumbs to a MT suplex. They go completely Memphis by Punching To Transition. Booker T fights out of the Last Ride. Booker T succumbs to the Choke Slam. Aaaaaaand the shitty ending. The End.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- FUCK A BOWFLEX! I GOT MOTHERFUCKING MILWAUKEE'S BEST LIGHT! The fat is dripping offa me. That's right, ya gonna want me ta soooothe ya, momma... oh yeah..... no, I'm not sure what that smell is.....

- A bikini contest. Oh Jesus. Jamie Noble is supposed to be a redneck but looks like a real University of Syracuse UltraGuido in that tux. By the time Miss Jackie comes out, 46 year old virgins have already toasted pungent, chalky loads over their mint condition 1979 Comic Journal Year End Specials onto their Sinistro Hero-Clik Figures. Dawn Marie is Vampirella-esque enough to completely smoke the rest of the collective bleached leathery and swollen WWE Whorulon. I have children in my house so I turn the station.

- Morticai comes out and GOD is that outfit Frwoooty. I would like to thank him for praying for my sins. That hour spent on pigglywigglyproducedeptupskirt.com needs more than what I can muster on my own in terms of atonement. I think he is praying to Odin. Maybe Crom. He's not Southern enough to pull off this gimmick.

- Do you have what it takes to be the NEXT SECTION OF THE WWE WHORULON?!?!? Let's check in at WHORULON TECHNOLOGIES where Professor Whorulon and his freakishly deformed assistant Sneedly prepare for the Diva contest...

Proffessor Whorulon: Sneedly, do we have the saline?

SNEEDLY: Yes, master. We also have the silicon.

PW: Excellent. We'll use both. Mad Vince wants to make sure the titties look as inhumanly bloated as possible.

S: Yes master. It is as if Mad Vince was nursed by Lotta Topp as a little infant.

PW: Yes, Sneedly. He truly is a repulsive twisted fruit.

S: Yessss. He truly is a gut-churningly misogynist cock-sucker, master.

- So nobody got the World Japan tapes that showed that Kenzo Suzuki completely sucks dick? He's gonna make you miss the sublime ring generalship of Nathan Jones. Really.

- Click it or Ticket? Fuck that shit. This is fuckin' AMERICA. If I want to go face first through my windshield, that's my motherfucking RIGHT. This ain't Communist Russia. Yet.

- FUCK A BURNING TROJAN ON YER DICK! It's insanity enough to trust your beloved tender beefdart to the unreliable Trojan. Fuck knows what kind of fetid Memphis barbecue sauce offbrand is conjuring the warm feeling. Only use them if your girlfriend actually says to you, "I would like cole slaw and a rack of ribs with my yeast infection."

- Kids. SMOKE. Just to piss off the anti-smoking commercial jack-offs.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.





YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
BWT
Boerewors








Since: 27.1.04
From: Philly

Since last post: 3192 days
Last activity: 2796 days
AIM:  
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.48
First screw Atkins and The South Beach diet when you can go on Dean's Milwaukee's Best Light diet. Only got to catch the main event and in my mind Taker and Booker T brought the goods until the stupid sports entertainment finish.



All this towns got left is a horse GO SMARTY!
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 480 days
Last activity: 480 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.37
DEAN: the only person in America looking forward to a bullrope match. At least dog-collar would have made them act out animal behavior.
Fuck click it or ticket. If the cops have nothing better to do than that, have less cops wasting my fucking tax dollars.
Somehow, they have turned the godliness of Kurt Angle into Bob Geigel.
Chavo needs real opponents. Where are the Denny Brown's, the Alabama Jr. Heavyweight Champion Mike Jackson's, heck someone finally get Nelson Royal away from the bunkhouse stampede campfire.
I think the wang is stuffed.
DEAN, have you taught your son to go full Missing Link yet and play Quiet Riot Bang Your Head while he headbutts the TV? It would make for better viewing than the whorulon contest.
Last week Suzuki challenged Mysterio. This week, he challenges Koko B. Ware.
The Sham
Kolbasz








Since: 20.1.02
From: Hamden, CT

Since last post: 1726 days
Last activity: 1078 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.42
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Jamie Noble is supposed to be a redneck but looks like a real University of Syracuse UltraGuido in that tux.


Well, it's Syracuse University, not the other way around. I have to be picky when you make fun of it, it's my alma mater. I also have to wonder, though, why the hate? And where do we get the stereotype of being "UltraGuido"? I don't remember an overabundance of WOPs.

Why, DEAN, why?



HBK: HOLY SHIT! WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE FUCKING GEESE?
- Jeb Tennyson Lund, 1/20/04
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1292 days
Last activity: 1290 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by The Sham
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Jamie Noble is supposed to be a redneck but looks like a real University of Syracuse UltraGuido in that tux.


    Well, it's Syracuse University, not the other way around. I have to be picky when you make fun of it, it's my alma mater. I also have to wonder, though, why the hate? And where do we get the stereotype of being "UltraGuido"? I don't remember an overabundance of WOPs.

    Why, DEAN, why?


DR: Oh there is no hate. I like to make fun of Phil Rippa for hating Syracuse because he is from New York and he is Italian and seems like he should have gone to school upstate. My kids are half Italian, I would never slander Italians. WORD.



YES, I AM DEAN.
tasslex
Salami








Since: 15.10.02
From: Eagan, MN

Since last post: 3665 days
Last activity: 3622 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.17
Damnit DEAN, there is no pigglywigglyproducedeptupskirt.com, you got me all excited. :(



I dont go to sleep at night, I job to my blankets.
too-old-now
Bockwurst








Since: 7.1.04

Since last post: 1299 days
Last activity: 225 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.32
5 screeching girls in one house all weekend - you deserve more than a 12 pack of light - though it should be more than enough to atone for That hour spent on pigglywigglyproducedeptupskirt.com Who needs Frwooty Mortecai's prayers when there are screeching girls to divert your attention? Whichever is your daughter better prepare the others for the pound of beef remains in the terlit...

My youngest nephew (age 3 1/2) pestered my brother and sis-in-law so much with the "I'm Spicy" bit, that granddad took 'em over to BK and bought him the spicy chicken sandwich. After a couple of bites, the technicolor yawn took over in the middle of the indoor playscape. Now granddad is BANNED from BK!

Your mighty mighty workrate reports are better than the show itself - I truly enjoyed the Prof. Whorulon/Sneedly sideshow and I am convinced that Whorulon Technologies has the potential to join the ranks of Turdwellian/Secret Al Wilson as your finest recap accomplishments.

The Chavo Classic robe and Ho's is proof that the Chavos can make any lack of a storyline entertaining.

I was enjoying the Booker/Taker match, and would like to see more of them - yet I don't buy Taker giving a rat's ass about the fatter Paul - he'd have to ditch the SARA tat first.
Phantom
Frankfurter








Since: 17.3.02

Since last post: 2376 days
Last activity: 2353 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.70
Wow. The day that the Sinestro Heroclix figure gets mentioned as this weeks soiled target during the bikini segment is the day I become overwhelmed with relief that I got out of that game before it was too late.
Joe E. Nitro
Salami








Since: 4.2.04

Since last post: 3631 days
Last activity: 1112 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.91
John Cena is really starting struggle on the mic, or was that Booker T segment actually funny?


CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

Since last post: 8 min.
Last activity: 6 min.
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.07
    Originally posted by Joe E. Nitro
    John Cena is really starting struggle on the mic, or was that Booker T segment actually funny?



Did you really starting struggle comments making any sense?

Some day I'll reveal WHICH hair products I use and HOW often, but I fear that the resulting hairfabe EXPLOSION! might somehow combine with sixteen ounces of undigested beef, causing DEAN to be spontaneously circumcised by his own mighty colon.



CRZ
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1292 days
Last activity: 1290 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by CRZ
      Originally posted by Joe E. Nitro
      John Cena is really starting struggle on the mic, or was that Booker T segment actually funny?



    Did you really starting struggle comments making any sense?

    Some day I'll reveal WHICH hair products I use and HOW often, but I fear that the resulting hairfabe EXPLOSION! might somehow combine with sixteen ounces of undigested beef, causing DEAN to be spontaneously circumcised by his own mighty colon.


DR: Golly, I bet you wash your hair 4 times a day. Don't break hairfabe because the word "jojoba" could set me off.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 day
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.75
    Originally posted by Phantom
    Wow. The day that the Sinestro Heroclix figure gets mentioned as this weeks soiled target during the bikini segment is the day I become overwhelmed with relief that I got out of that game before it was too late.


I'm with you. I usually can't even recognize the things Dean brings up when talking about pungent loads, but I did get this one. I only played like 2 games and realized how bad I was at it. Unfortunately, some of my friends still love the Hero-cliks game.

Good review as always by Dean~ and Chavo Classic just looks like he is having so much fun out there. Classic is KING!



Joe Wilson (looking at Interocitor manual)- Hey, here's something my wife could use in the house...
Crow T. Robot- A man?
Joe Wilson- An interocitor incorporating an electron sorter.
Cal Meechum- Oh, she'd probably gain 20 pounds while it did all the work for her.
Tom Servo- Cal, you bitch!

MST3K: The Movie
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1292 days
Last activity: 1290 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by Torchslasher
      Originally posted by Phantom
      Wow. The day that the Sinestro Heroclix figure gets mentioned as this weeks soiled target during the bikini segment is the day I become overwhelmed with relief that I got out of that game before it was too late.


    I'm with you. I usually can't even recognize the things Dean brings up when talking about pungent loads, but I did get this one. I only played like 2 games and realized how bad I was at it. Unfortunately, some of my friends still love the Hero-cliks game.

    Good review as always by Dean~ and Chavo Classic just looks like he is having so much fun out there. Classic is KING!


DR: I actually have no idea what Hero-cliks is. My friend Mark- who has the apartment with almost everything I've ever mentioned 46 year old virgins toasting a load over- suggested that. He said, "Oh trust me. Those who know will laff and laff and laff."

(edited by DEAN RASMUSSEN on 4.6.04 2041)


YES, I AM DEAN.
tomk
Goetta








Since: 30.7.02

Since last post: 2683 days
Last activity: 1033 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.19
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Only use them if your girlfriend actually says to you, "I would like cole slaw and a rack of ribs with my yeast infection."

    -


Damnit Dean you promised me when I told you that story about Gretchen "No tom, don't worry. That will never show up in a workrate report"

I've ordered my ribs dry ever since. And well put alot less mayo in my slaw too.

Net Hack Slasher
Banger








Since: 6.1.02
From: Outer reaches of your mind

Since last post: 3590 days
Last activity: 2010 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.25
You know it's going to be one hell of a Dean report when the date of the Smackdown show is one day off... Dean, Thursday was the 3rd




smark/net attack wienerville advisory stays at BLUE alert - Guarded (With Benoit & Eddie being World & WWE champions you'd expect all's be right but couldn't do it due to Trish/Y2J character switches & whats the deal with JBL PPV main event)- 5/6
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1292 days
Last activity: 1290 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by Net Hack Slasher
    You know it's going to be one hell of a Dean report when the date of the Smackdown show is one day off... Dean, Thursday was the 3rd



I wish I was drunk enough to pawn it off on booze. EN LIEU, I am a fool.
----
And TomK, we need to continue to see who can conjure the best fake pornographic website. Why noone has actually used pigglywigglyUpskirt.com yet is crime against nature.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Thread rated: 6.42
Pages: 1
Thread ahead: Divasearch... 9 & a half weeks of crap.
Next thread: Captionomics!
Previous thread: Results - OVW Six Flags 6/4
(6479 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
I thought this was one of the better SD episodes of the past months. The promo fest at the beginning was fun as everyone played their role well.
Related threads: The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report 6/3/04 - SmackDown (aka CrapDown) Spoilers - Kenzo Suzuki and cheap heel heat - More...
The W - Pro Wrestling - your MIGHTY MIGHTY WWE WORKRATE REPORT- 6/4/2004!Register and log in to post!

The W™ message board

ZimBoard
©2001-2014 Brothers Zim

This old hunk of junk rendered your page in 0.409 seconds.