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The W - Pro Wrestling - your MIGHTY MIGHTY WWE WORKRATE REPORT- 4/15/2004~!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1322 days
Last activity: 1319 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
Hey, how ya been? It's Thursday night and that means questionable wrestling and a night to drink some beer, have some laughs, think things through. i'm drinking a little Magnum malt liquor and little Victory Hop Devil- which is on sale in Richmond area Krogers for $6.99 a six. Let's get on with this, shall we?

WHAT WORKED-

- Eddy is over with the rubes in Indianapolis. Eddy makes fun of Kurt Angle's voice. Eddy makes Angle sound like Charles Nelson Riley. Eddy speaks on AMERICA, MOTHERFUCKER! TELL THEM THE FUCKING TRUTH, EDDY! FUCK YEAH, YOU AIN'T WHAT YOU OWN, MOTHERFUCKERS! JBL SOLD OUT! MONEY DOn'T MAKE YOU SMARTER! Eddy knows classy and JBL ain't classy! JBL suddenly airs a moveon.org ad! This is kinda like that Mr Show sketch. Post-ad, Eddy is pissed. EDDY IS SICK OF IT ALL! EDDY TELLS THE WORLD THAT THIS AIN'T NO DAMN SUNDAY SCHOOL! EDDY WORKED 17 YEARS! TAKE THAT TROPHY AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS! Eddy sez ASS and IT'S ON! Kurt Angle comes out and he sucks. He sucks. He sucks. he Sucks. He sucks. He sucks. Angle doesn't appreciate the lack of apology. Angle doesn't like Eddy. He makes the match! Bradshaw comes out with his limo. It looks like Bradshaw has Harley Race as his chauffeur. JBL is too tired to wrestle tonight. Bradshaw has been plying babys' mamas with his lovin'. He hasn't gone to the spa! GOLD! JBL and Angle has a great idea INSTEAD! Eddy versus the BIG SHOW! AWESOME! Hey. That's not a great idea. That's a... that's a... that's a shitty idea. This isn't boding well.

- THE SECRET ADVENTURES OF AL WILSON:
"Zo I came to Portsmouth to go to college and see ve vorld. Vat brinks you HERE- to zis city, mein adorable von?"

"Oh you know, just needed to get away from my parents. Reagan's fucked up the economy so much that I might as well get my degree- I can't find a job in this berg."

"Reagan is a BASTARD! I hate him. But I do not like to speak ill of my host country..."

Billy had been sitting alone drinking Jack and ginger and seething over his own loneliness and unemployment. "Yeah motherfucker. Why don't shut your fucking mouth when you talk about my president."

"I am zorry, mein freund. I love zis country and I don't like vere he is taking it."

"Well, tell you what, motherfucker. Why don't you and your girly friend go fuck yourselves? And if you got a problem with that, I got a knife in my boot says "FUCK YOU."

"Ve vill go outside and I vill beat you to DEATH. Come. WE GO NOW. Susan. I vill be back in ten minutes."

Billy thinks about how he is going to get his knife out. Baron thinks about finally using THE CLAWWWWWWWWWW....

TO BE CONTINUED.

- THE GEORGE McGINNESS THROWBACK IS FUCKING AWWWWWESOME! Chavos come out and I'm torqued. SR is wearing the Bryan Ferry Double Breasted suit and he styling like a motherfucker. They work out of a headlock. Cena hits a crappy lariat. SR with the boot to the head. Chavito kicks him a bit. This match is pretty messy. Cena shoulderblocks to offense and Chavo cuts him off with a dropkick. Chavo with a cool twisty armdrag. Chavo stomps some more and I try to stay awake. Cena kinda does an Ode To Road Warrior Hawk offensive sequence that set-up his less DiBiase-esque fistdrop. CHAVO SENIOR BUMPS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING FREAK and Cena pins Chavito. The Cruiserweight title is not better than the US title. Chavo Senior's bump makes this work. The rest was pretty shitty.

- Reneae DewPree is talking about America and France and the inherent trade relations with his dog. I can't see his wang, though CRZ ASSURED me that his wang is always permeating the screen. Tazz is sprung.

- Charlie and Jamie have some problems. Jamie starts talking about how Rico is going to cornhole him like a prison bitch. Noble understands the ways of men. Nunzio touches Charlie's ass and Charlie is taken aback at the being the sweetest looking boy at the dance.

- Rico is older than I am. Rico digs the fabulous junk of Charlie- and who wouldn't? Tell me. WHO WOULDN'T? Tell me. "YOU SICK FREAK!" Rico's butt massage and faux ass-fucking is absolutely TOP DRAWER! Charlie can't handle his own feelings of love. Of desire. Of passion. Of humpiness. Charlie shows the world his buttocks and the world embraces his buttocks. Charlie finds odd ways to choke Rico. BUTTOCKS CLAW~! L'EMBRACE DE FRANCAIS~! L'AMOUR TOUTE LE MONDE~! VIVE LE DIFFERENCE~! Rico whips out his thong and Charlie blows oats because he can't handle THE TRUTH! THE TRUTH about love! MILLION BILLION STARS! Who is that BITCH with Rico? That old BITCH.

- Being a parent of a 20-month old means never knowing what's lurking in yer terlit. Tonight: a Kelly doll with ink pen drawings on her face. Next week: who could be sure. I will keep you abreast.

Big Show is pissed that this isn't a title match. I'm pissed that Big Show is wrestling Eddy and I have to watch. Big Show says, "Shut your pie-hole" TWICE! The Big Show says he will quit! Big Show crushes Eddy early. Eddy punches but is cut off. Eddy works on Big Show's leg and is cut off. Yadda yadda yadda CUT OFF! Big Show bumps big to the floor! Big Show into the post! We go to a commercial and we think about the pretty hair of CRZ... mmmmmm... it's pretty. Prolly smells real good too. Mmmmmmmm. Eddy is punching Big Show in his giant skull. Eddy sells the arm. Big Show's vienna sausage like fingers grip Eddy's shoulder. Headbutt to the shoulder is fun. Eddy sells like a king. Big Show makes with the bearhug and I don't I can drink fast enough. Fuck it. Big Show rolls into the Rolling DDT like a champ and THIS SO WORKS. Eddy with the Frogsplash and the win and Big Show quits? WHA! WHA?! Beautiful. I await the fattest possible Midnight Rider and the absolute most unlucky horse Diablo.

- Big Show is a broken man and Torrie is the victim. I feel some stalking coming on. Big Show starts crying and Torrie tries to act. Torries car is running out of windows. Big Show goes for the Quasimodo pathos and it's fun. Torrie is fabulous as the thrid-rate 1981 Jamie Leigh Curtis. Big Show needs a bottle of Bowman's Gin for his next misogynist bout of rage.

- The second trip to the terlit, I realize that you COULD drink a bottle of Murphy's Oil Soap and it wouldn't actually kill you. You'd have to drink a lot of water. We'll see how bad my 40s go before acting on this information.

- Big Show the Psycho is sooooooo great. "If you don't laugh, I'll make you scream!" ANGLE IS DEAD! HE'S DEAD! Drama....

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- RVD will wrestle Booker T. RVD wants to be called Mr Thursday Night. If that's the case, definately call me Mr Definately Drunk On Thursday Night. Booker t isn't in the ring with Eddy so i fear this match. They edit the punches and I'm happy for that. Booker does bump like a motherfucker so I have trouble hating this. They go to a commercial and we once again.... think about the purty hair of CRZ...mmmmmm.... Jojoba..... Booker with the Tully Blanchard HOT SHOT! Nice neckbreaker for two. They edit the fuck out the punches. they just fucking edit RVDs entire offense. Where's the art? Where's the love of craft? You remember Dick Murdock? You could do his match with ONE camera in EXTREME ZOOM and it would never show a SECOND of daylight. Fit Finlay? Same thing. Instead, we have this shit. I'm being hard. And ain't that just a bitch.

- THEODORE R LONG! Mark Jindrak comes out. DOLLAR DOLLAR BILL! Hey, Jindrak is doing the Lex Luger narcissisist gimmick. SPIKE IS PISSED! Jindrak with the NICE dropkick to send Spike to the floor. Oklahoma Roll for two. Aaaaaand itsa squash. I don't hate Jindrak. I hate a squash.

- MicroTouch is an EIGHTY DOLLAR VALUE? EIGHTY? EIGHT OH? 8. 0. 80 dollars? HA! Sure it's powerful for the TOUGH STUFF but for EIGHTY dollars it would have to have a self-lubricating sucking device that doesn't bite but brings sheer velvet. $14.95? Not as in need of a vibrating pocket buddy.

- They have a Burger King chicken commercial without Subservient Chicken? Fuck that.

- I'M STILL ALIVE has archival footage of the day my old girlfriend found the black teddy of my new girlfriend on my couch. HEY! Those teeth will be missed, my friend. Don't worry, those fellas re-ascend in no time. Grain alcohol was very instrumental in drinking that ass-beating away.

- Jackie comes out and 45 year old virgins blow a fetid load over their Complete Black Adder Dvd Set onto their Reid Fleming World Toughest Milkman Collectors Buttons. Ah, there we go. That's the pride.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.




YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
TheCheat
Tocino








Since: 8.7.03
From: Strongbadia

Since last post: 3365 days
Last activity: 3335 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.81
Let me be the first to say ...

OH MY GOD! HE KILLED KURT! That bastard!

Got to be the lamest-looking stunt ever though ... you'd think with SmackDown! not being live they could've edited out the awkward pause needed for them to move the pads out of camera view and for Kurt to arrange himself. Hmmm ... wonder where they're gonna go with this?



"I said consummate V's! CONSUMMATE!" - Strong Bad
GoddamnJordan
Cotto








Since: 14.4.04
From: Vancouver, BC

Since last post: 2773 days
Last activity: 1821 days
#3 Posted on
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    They have a Burger King chicken commercial without Subservient Chicken? Fuck that.


What DOES he do when you tell him about Burger King? Maybe he'll finally masturbate.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1322 days
Last activity: 1319 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by GoddamnJordan
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      They have a Burger King chicken commercial without Subservient Chicken? Fuck that.


    What DOES he do when you tell him about Burger King? Maybe he'll finally masturbate.


I never actually came and asked him to do that. I'm assume that he will French Kiss the throw pillow like he does whenever you suggest anything else even mildly sexual.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Hoodle
Bauerwurst








Since: 19.12.03

Since last post: 3395 days
Last activity: 3391 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.15
    Originally posted by TheCheat
    Let me be the first to say ...

    OH MY GOD! HE KILLED KURT! That bastard!

    Got to be the lamest-looking stunt ever though ...


You apparently never saw WM-X7. (Check out the UT-HHH match, you'll know what I mean . . . )


By WWE standards, this was a fantastic-looking stunt. The leg was a beautifully SICK touch.

I thought this was the best Smackdown! in a long, long time. Every thing was great, save the ending of the RVD-Booker match (which, I understand, was completely necesary, but dissapointing as hell nonetheless). There really wasn't even 1 segment that sucked, which for Smackdown as of late, is quite a feat.

May I say - I approve of Jindrak using the narcissist gimmick. It's about damn time someone wheeled that one out again, and I think he's the perfect candidate. (Test would have been a fine candidate, too, but Jindrak appears to be a better athlete.)

All the Big Show stuff tonight was fantastic - including the match, which may have been the most well-worked match of Show's career-to-date. I actually felt kinda bad for show when he was walking out asking "why are you laughing?!" - and I've NEVER cared about a big show match - ever. Big props to the E on this Big Show stuff.

I am, however, going to make the requisite complaint about feeding the CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION to Cena in what was essentially a squash. LAME, and completely unnecesary - Cena didn't need that win and it really makes the CW's look like a bunch of losers. Totally counterproductive move. Boo.

Rico/Haas was harmless filler. Crowd didn't seem to think it was too funny, but whatever, it was fine.

Overall good smackdown.




(edited by Hoodle on 15.4.04 1919)
Joe E. Nitro
Salami








Since: 4.2.04

Since last post: 3661 days
Last activity: 1142 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.62

    - Being a parent of a 20-month old means never knowing what's lurking in yer terlit. Tonight: a Kelly doll with ink pen drawings on her face. Next week: who could be sure. I will keep you abreast.



That sounds like the most interesting thing that happened during this two hour tour. It's a shame we couldn't witness that. I guess we did get Dupree and a dog ...

What about Cole being sprung on Rico, that didn't work for you?


DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1322 days
Last activity: 1319 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by Joe E. Nitro

      - Being a parent of a 20-month old means never knowing what's lurking in yer terlit. Tonight: a Kelly doll with ink pen drawings on her face. Next week: who could be sure. I will keep you abreast.



    That sounds like the most interesting thing that happened during this two hour tour. It's a shame we couldn't witness that. I guess we did get Dupree and a dog ...

    What about Cole being sprung on Rico, that didn't work for you?





Cole being latently homosexual is lame. Tazz being actively homosexual is MOTHERFUCKING GOLD.



YES, I AM DEAN.
BWT
Boerewors








Since: 27.1.04
From: Philly

Since last post: 3222 days
Last activity: 2826 days
AIM:  
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.16
Hey Dean no mention of the package Mark Jindrak is packing under the weenie rap? I think its obvious why Teddy Long picked him now.

(edited by BWT on 19.4.04 1756)
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1322 days
Last activity: 1319 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by BWT
    Hey Dean no mention of the package Mark Jindrak is packing under the weenie rap. I think its obvious why Teddy Long picked him now.


It's....it's..... it's... it's JUST TOO MANY WANGS! It's JUST TOO MANY WANGS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



YES, I AM DEAN.
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 510 days
Last activity: 510 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.60
I've seen better acting from the Jetsons robot Rosie than Torrie Wilson provided. And, who kidnapped Big Slug and replaced him with someone interesting? Giant vs. Eddy at Judgement Day would almost be interesting at this point. Yes, it probably would suck, but it wouldn't contain Bradshaw, which means its an automatic improvement. DEAN works in the term Magnum and a Tully Blanchard name drop (although, comparing Booker to Tully is an insult at this point to Tully). Time to break out the I Quit match yet again.



I want you to know, I agree with everything I just said.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1322 days
Last activity: 1319 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by redsoxnation
    I've seen better acting from the Jetsons robot Rosie than Torrie Wilson provided. And, who kidnapped Big Slug and replaced him with someone interesting? Giant vs. Eddy at Judgement Day would almost be interesting at this point. Yes, it probably would suck, but it wouldn't contain Bradshaw, which means its an automatic improvement. DEAN works in the term Magnum and a Tully Blanchard name drop (although, comparing Booker to Tully is an insult at this point to Tully). Time to break out the I Quit match yet again.


DR: Jesus Christ, there was NOTHING in this episode that should be even BREATHED in the same breath as the glory of Magnum versus Tully fucking Blanchard I QUIT- the greatest fucking wrestling match in the history of wrestling matches. I apologize for even ACCIDENTALLY concocting it.



YES, I AM DEAN.
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 510 days
Last activity: 510 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.60
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Originally posted by redsoxnation
      I've seen better acting from the Jetsons robot Rosie than Torrie Wilson provided. And, who kidnapped Big Slug and replaced him with someone interesting? Giant vs. Eddy at Judgement Day would almost be interesting at this point. Yes, it probably would suck, but it wouldn't contain Bradshaw, which means its an automatic improvement. DEAN works in the term Magnum and a Tully Blanchard name drop (although, comparing Booker to Tully is an insult at this point to Tully). Time to break out the I Quit match yet again.


    DR: Jesus Christ, there was NOTHING in this episode that should be even BREATHED in the same breath as the glory of Magnum versus Tully fucking Blanchard I QUIT- the greatest fucking wrestling match in the history of wrestling matches. I apologize for even ACCIDENTALLY concocting it.







No need to apologize DEAN, it was just a nice reminder that despite the craptacular that SD is devolving into, there still is the godliness that is Magnum vs. Tully that is always a disc away. And, after this episode, there was nothing that could accidentally concoct images of Black Bart vs. Sam Houston for the Mid-Atlantic Title.
And, just a slight bit off-topic (off topic/Workrate Report, never), but although Flair/Funk had a good I Quit match, it does pale in intensity to Magnum/Tully. First, non-title? That was idiotic. And, no blood? Sure, it was on TBS, but they showed Flair bleeding at the previous Clash where Terry taught us valuable uses for plastic bags (probably shouldn't show the 20 month old that footage though DEAN).



I want you to know, I agree with everything I just said.
Mr Heel II
Lap cheong








Since: 25.2.02

Since last post: 11 days
Last activity: 7 hours
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.91
    Originally posted by BWT
    Hey Dean no mention of the package Mark Jindrak is packing under the weenie rap. I think its obvious why Teddy Long picked him now.
If there were any doubt before, I imagine not now, with this image that may or may not have been taken by me for non-commercial use, last Sunday at the Omaha house show...





(edited by Mr Heel II on 15.4.04 2324)
Cerebus
Scrapple








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 9 hours
Last activity: 8 hours
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.74
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    - Jackie comes out and 45 year old virgins blow a fetid load over their Complete Black Adder Dvd Set onto their Reid Fleming World Toughest Milkman Collectors Buttons.


Uhh, I actually own BOTH of these items that you are talking about.

Yet another incredibly awesome Workrate Report.



Cerebus: RIP 1977-2004.

"What do you think it's like being created by a manic-depressive, paranoid schizophrenic, hypochondriac, misogynist with delusions of grandeur and a messiah complex?"
Eddie Famous
Andouille








Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 365 days
Last activity: 359 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.33

Chavo is the man!




"In the sky. Lord, in the sky..."
Phantom
Frankfurter








Since: 17.3.02

Since last post: 2406 days
Last activity: 2382 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.65
    Originally posted by Mr Heel II
      Originally posted by BWT
      Hey Dean no mention of the package Mark Jindrak is packing under the weenie rap. I think its obvious why Teddy Long picked him now.
    If there were any doubt before, I imagine not now, with this image that may or may not have been taken by me for non-commercial use, last Sunday at the Omaha house show...


He actually looks surprised to see it.

As for Big Show, I guess I'm still alone in liking the big lug, especially for what he's been on Smackdown. Is he the guy you want in a 60-minute Iron Man match? God no. But as the "Immovable Object" he's just awesome.

Then again, I gave up on my hatred of him after all the work he did to make Brock and Cena look like utter superstars.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1322 days
Last activity: 1319 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85

    No need to apologize DEAN, it was just a nice reminder that despite the craptacular that SD is devolving into, there still is the godliness that is Magnum vs. Tully that is always a disc away. And, after this episode, there was nothing that could accidentally concoct images of Black Bart vs. Sam Houston for the Mid-Atlantic Title.
    And, just a slight bit off-topic (off topic/Workrate Report, never), but although Flair/Funk had a good I Quit match, it does pale in intensity to Magnum/Tully. First, non-title? That was idiotic. And, no blood? Sure, it was on TBS, but they showed Flair bleeding at the previous Clash where Terry taught us valuable uses for plastic bags (probably shouldn't show the 20 month old that footage though DEAN).


NOTHING comepares to Magnum/Tully. Flair/Funk is a pale imitation.

My review of Tully/Magnum from DVDVR 135:

MAGNUM TA vs TULLY BLANCHARD - I QUIT MATCH - NATIONAL WRESLTING ALLIANCE (STARRCADE 85 - 11/28/85)
(RASMUSSEN)
This match is one of those great matches that seems pretty stupid to analyze in a standard sense. The match is great
because it is so guttural and shitheadedly straight ahead in it's balls out violence that one would think that looking beyond the surface would shatter the illusion and THUs you would be analyzing some other match all together. But there is an analytical depth to why this match is so fucking great. For one thing, it throws the Mid-Atlantic Old School form out the window. It doesn't build out of a headlock, or out of heat slowly generates by the heel or any of the other staples. This starts with both men beating the life out of the other and crowd responds quickly. IT ALSO throws the brawling style of classic NWA out the window. The style of brawling leading up to this match in almost every other match is straight out of Puerto Rico - the style of brawling for the famous OTHER NWA I Quit match between Ric Flair and Terry Funk is the pinnacle of Puerto Rican style transplanted (and possibly not transplanted)- and Memphis style brawl. Puerto Rican/ Memphis Concession Stand style brawl involves sweeping waves of violence and ass-beating stretched across the entire arena- throwing a blood-drenched head into the popcorn maker and throwing a plasma-spewing opponent in to the white delivery truck at Roberto Clemente stadium. It's taking the ass-beating directly to the fans in the stands so that it no longer resembles the civilized world but more resembles a group of students circling a fight in the lunchroom. The beauty of Tully Blanchard and Terry Allen beating the living dog shit out of each other is the COMPRESSION of the brawl. The cage is a motherfucking cage and it has never been utilized in such an effective way. You don't crawl out of the top like ever shitty WWF cage match, it isn't a visual prop with no bearing on the match like in Ric Flair vs Harley Race at the first Starrcade (and most cage matches leading up to this). There is no escape and the animalistic violence is magnified because of this lack of escape. The cage becomes the combatants backbones- Tully wrestles completely heel but he doesn't take a single step back or try to elude the violence once. Magnum is the uber face in this and he sells the ass-beating like it's Ricky Steamboat beating the holy living fuck out of him. It's almost All Japanese in it's heel/face structure. But the build-up and hatred that is the undercurrent to the greatness of this match is never duplicated anywhere else but in the South. Tully Blanchard rips Terry Allen's forehead open and Allen rips Blanchard's forehead open with both being thrown facefirst into the cage but the spot is irrelevant in the match- a ruse to bring your attention to the cage. The cage isn't the gimmick, the sheer hatred is the gimmick. It's like the best possible UFC match ever. The ass-beating takes place in the middle of the ring and cage frames it and focuses it. Blanchard's offense early is kicks to the stomach. The microphone is key because because the way the victim and torturer are indistinguishable in their Celtic Frostian guttural screeching into the mic. Blanchard moves into beautiful fucking elbow drops but misses his last one to take Magnum back on offense. Magnum punches him dead in the face and hits a comical Karate backfist. They screech into to the mic- Magnum with the mic at his dick forcing it into Tully's mouth. TA smashes the mic into Blanchard's forehead and jams into the open wound. Tully rips the eyes of Magnum and goes back on offense with a gigantic right hand. Magnum jams mic down his throat again but Tully kicks it out of his hand. TA goes for ten punches in the corner and Tully CRUSHES him with a reversed Atomic Drop and starts bashing TA in the head with the microphone and IT IS MOTHERFUCKING HARDCORE AS AN ABSOLUTE MOTHERFUCKER. Cactus Jack isn't the king of hardcore, Tully Blanchard is. He could never reach this level of sheer violence and drench it all with such hatred More fistdrops with the microphone and fat assed elbow drops, and Tully kicks the ref in the groin. Babydoll throws a wooden chair into the cage and Tully smashes it on the mat, grabbing the sharpest piece to carve up Magnum's pretty face. Magnum fights out before the shard can get into his flesh, finally getting Blanchard off of him by kneeing him in the ribs. Magnum gets to his feet first and starts carving up Tully's face and Tully- being the motherfucking great wrestler that he was- sells it like he is getting his fucking face carved up. You can drop Nick Berk out of a helicopter through fifteen burning tables and it is SOOO weak compared to Tully dropping the first fistdrop onto Magnum TA's forehead with the microphone. That's violence and hatred and everything great in a deathmatch. Go watch this again because you had forgotten that it was the best deathmatch you will ever see.
----
Odd archtypical subtext to the match: Tully Blanchard is a Southern Archtype (I say Southern because I don't know of any other frame of reference in my personal experience). I knew guys that were like the personna that Blanchard
portrayed: nouveau riche or wastrel son of nouveau riche, not overly good-looking but had enough money to attract a certain kind of woman. He's overeager to look hip and isn't a bad guy usually- fun to get drunk with, tells a good filthy story and will try to get one his old conquests in the room to suck your dick. He's a doofus but he an amiable doofus if you aren't one of the women he is trying to victimize. His women are never in love with him, but are usually hot looking stripper types with psychological issues who tolerate him because they can barely tolerate any man, but he at least has money he's willing to spend and is a good time usually.

Magnum TA is another Southern Archtype. His archtype is actually a lot like my older brother- really good-looking guy and always could have any woman he wants but will be faithful to whoever he is seeing at the time and attracts all of Tully's women with true love and also every other woman who meets him but has solid inner core of values that the Tully archtype doesn't have. He never takes advantage but he can be a shithead sometimes- but he is an all around good guy who will do the right thing at the end of the day. The Magnum will tolerate the Tully guy for a while but they usually won't hang out. The Tully guy is too weasly for the Magnum guy to trust and Magnum guy is too straightlaced to enjoy the excesses and flailing desperation of the Tully guy. Stick any two like these in a cage and it would be similar to these results if enough beer was drank and it the Tully guy talked enough shit.





YES, I AM DEAN.
Toast Jr
Goetta








Since: 30.1.03
From: Stafford Springs, CT

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 8 hours
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.00
    Originally posted by Phantom
      Originally posted by Mr Heel II
        Originally posted by BWT
        Hey Dean no mention of the package Mark Jindrak is packing under the weenie rap. I think its obvious why Teddy Long picked him now.
      If there were any doubt before, I imagine not now, with this image that may or may not have been taken by me for non-commercial use, last Sunday at the Omaha house show...


    He actually looks surprised to see it.




He looked suprised last night too. He was checking himself out in the mirror, looked south, and suddenly got this expression on his face as if to say "Oh my goodness! My wang is HUGE!"
JoshMann
Andouille








Since: 17.11.03
From: Tallahassee, FL

Since last post: 2323 days
Last activity: 2320 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.67
I'm not going to copy-quote that whole beautiful review, but I'll just say that I was 10 years old when I saw that match and it was one of the first great reminders that there WAS something beyond the cartoon violence on Saturday morning. I haven't seen that match since 1985, although eventually I will break down and buy the DVD it's on, but I don't have to buy it. I have SAY IT *THUNK* SAY IT *THUNK* and BALSA TO THE EYE~~~~ in my memory forever, and why ruin that?





Ho-lee Mackinaw!
Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 22 days
Last activity: 2 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.75
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Originally posted by BWT
      Hey Dean no mention of the package Mark Jindrak is packing under the weenie rap. I think its obvious why Teddy Long picked him now.


    It's....it's..... it's... it's JUST TOO MANY WANGS! It's JUST TOO MANY WANGS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


Wow, we've finally reached a point where even the mighty DEAN has to call an end to the "wang" discussions. See what you guys did to him? Do you SEE IT?

(psst...it's a good thing Mark Henry is still on the IR and Randy Orton is on Raw.)



Behold the scary undead powers of WESTERN-TAKER!
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Yes, yes it was the site of Okerlund/Madden Kamloops Street fight. The funny thing is, the BubbaRay/Bigshow Table Match, Bubba turned it into a "Kamloops Street Fight Table Match" Say that one ten times fast.
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