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The W - Pro Wrestling - your mighty might WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 3/4/2004~!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1230 days
Last activity: 1227 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
12 o Schlitz. Et love in my heart pour vous....

WHAT WORKED-

- Stone Cold Brock Lesnar! Brock is all jovial and stuff. Brock says "Steve" a whole lot- as if Brock is selling Steve Austin a car. GOLDBERG IS NEXT! Brock steals Arn's "nekkid without the belt" concept. Match down yonder. Brock chugs beer and rides off. I think he is drinking pussy-ass Lite beer just like Stone Cold. I'm drinking Schlitz- the Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous. Nobody will EVER write a song about Lite beer as cool as "What Made Milwaukee Famous Has Made A Loser Out Of Me." I should always drink Schlitz because if you can't base your life on Jerry Lee Lewis songs, what's the fucking use of being an American? Tell ME, motherfucker. Go ahead, motherfucker. Tell ME.

- Kurt Angle is in Pittsburgh. They show a video package on the Eddy vs Angle fued and our collective WrestleDick is packin the woodrow. Evil Angle is so great. HE SPEAKS! THERE IS A POISON! FUCK YEAH OUR ATHLETES ARE FUCKING DISGRACES! YEAH! FUCK EDDY! INNOCENT PEOPLE WILL GET HURT! A leopard DOESN'T change it's spots! I HAVE CHILDREN! I WOULDN'T WANT THEM TO ACT LIKE EDDY! JUMPING OFF STUFF! SUPLEXING PEOPLE! MAYBE III SHOULDN'T CHEER FOR A MAN WHO TELLS MY CHILDREN TO LIE AND CHEAT AND STEAL! DAMN SKIPPY, KURT! PEOPLE ARRRE GOOD! IT IS GOOD! HE ISSS FIGHTING FOR THE FUTURE OF THE COMPANY! YOU DON'T! DON'T YOU ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN!

- Okay, I might have to go see WALKING TALL. The Rock is so right between Joe Don Baker and Bo Svenson. And I will so watch an episode of GAME OVER.

- Funaki against Chavito. Chavo Sr is all pissed off. Chavito bumps big for Funaki aand Funaki punches him in the head. Funaki misses a dropkick and Chavito procures the Abdominal Stretch. "THIS IS A SHENANIGAN!" Fuck right it's a motherfucking shenanigan. A shenanigan if there ever was one. Chavo Senior is motherfucking GOD. Funaki has really great punches and Chavito goes up big for a backdrop. Funaki hits a shitty Bulldog. Funaki with the Steamboat Cross Bodyblock. Senior is on point- making it to the apron before the ref can count. Chavito crushes Funaki's skull and cheats to win. Chavo Senior is still pissed that his boy is getting a raw deal. "NINE TIMES! IT ISN'T FAIR!" Damn straight!

- Dawn Marie is wearing some kind of Christmas garland on her dress. She fears Eddy. We go to a commercial. Eddy comes out and the crowd chants his name. Paul E is pissed off about a lot of things. Eddy apologizes and then he makes with the funny and then he does the weekly Eddy shoots on himself for a while. THEN THEY SET UP A TRULY RIDICULOUS MATCH! OH DAH LAY! Heyman plugs Scott Keith's book and they make the STIPS! EDDY! with his hands handcuffed behind his back! VERSUS! PAUL E! Welcome to the goofiest part of Memphis, folks... But it's Eddy so it always works.

- Awesome! ULTIMOOOOO DRAGON!!! REY REY! AND....... billy kidman. Tajiri and his boys~! Neato triple dropkick by Random Asian Trio Team- round and round, what comes around goes around.... Rey Rey tags in to save me from premature Kidman induced slumber. UD with the Old School Plancha and then they go hog wild with nearfalls. Jimmy YAng (or whatever he's called these days) takes the Swinging DDT LIKE A FUCKING KING. That was Nitro 1998 Fun.

- World's Greatest Tagteam is HI-LArious! Shelton Benjamin was soooo Rankin Roger from the English Beat with that blond wig. APA FUCKS SHEEP! MAKE LOVE AND KNIT A SWEATER AT THE SAME TIME! THAT'S comedy, folks! Fuck yeah, all those Georgia cretins fuck their own sisters! FUCK YEAH! Benjamin is so motherfucking GOLD on the stick. Shelton busts on Florida State! Fucking gator-fuckin' numbskulls! THEIR ACADEMIC RECORD IS SUSPECT! THEY SING! They are going to sing A wingdinger! Oh AWWWWWWWWWWESOME! AWWWWWESOME! WEST TEXAS OUTLAWS~! APA IS CRAP! NUMBER ONE AND THE BEST! And then: Everybody gets in a fight! Shelton throws a BEAUTIFUL lariat. Shelton Benjamin as a West Texas Outlaw is soooo fucking great. He is so great post-ass-stomp busting out the two-step. SHEL-TON! SHEL-TON! SHEL-TON!

- CENA's Hershel Walker jersey was awwwesome. I still have my 34 Dallas Cowboy Hershel Walker jersey and I will wear it until it is too ridiculously tight to ever wear. Cena watches American Idol so he loses a thousand cool points. A-Train is back on my TV. Yes. Yes, he is. Cena punches to face to transition and bumps GIGANTOR when A-Train cuts him off. A-train with a nice lariat. Cena sells an assbeating well. A-Train bumps to the floor to let Cena go on offense. We go to a commercial and there is STILL no MicroTouch commercial. They do have one of those anti-smoking commercials that makes me want to actually EAT a pack of cigarrettes. Bowflex is replacing the MicroTouch. I feel as if I am responsible for the lack of the MicroTouch. Sure, it wasn't for me- but maybe there was a guy with hair coming out of neck who needed a MicroTouch. To you, my brother, I apologize. OOP! Wrestling. Cena punches to comeback. A-Train stands on John Cena's head. Cena gets a flashpin off a quick F-U and A-Train is Bob Holly-esque in his Jabronieness. Big Show comes out and talks about his envy of Cena. Big Show talks about Cena's abs and Cena's ability to dream.... An overly poetic Big Show talks of himself as the Giant and his accomplishments in Madison Square Garden. He didn't mention the Yeti moment where he and the Yeti cornholed Hulk Hogan like a prison bitch right in the middle of the ring. THAT would scare Cena. YOU'VE GOT A GIANT PENIS! USE IT!

- Paul Heyman is dressed like Ninja! Mike Naimark is STOKED! Eddy has a shitty GMC lowrider. Eddy beats the hell out of Paul E and we all await some kind of run-in. AH! Kurt Angle. You knew it. I knew it. The beatdown is as cool as their Royal Rumble finish- as Eddy does as much as he can to stay away and Angle does as much as he can to make Eddy squirm. Stick these two in a box and they make the most of it. This is COMPLETELY Bill Watts booking. The babyface in a pool of his own blood. The heel strong and dominant. Fucking brilliant.

WHAT DIDn'T WORK-

- Ah gross. Hardcore Holly. He can't even go up for a Spinebuster right. Brock does the bearhug on the ground that I am falling in love with. Holly throws shitty punches and then takes an ass-beating for a minute. God, Holly doesn't even take the F-5 right. P-U.

- Rikishi doesn't wrestle but Scotty 2 Hotty does. Hey, a Basham in a singles match is always better than a Basham in a tag matches. They work a headlock early. Scotty goes shoulder-first into the turnbuckle and Danny starts working on the shoulder and I love that. Danny with the Fujiwara Armbar but Scotty fights out. S2H hits a Superkick which I guess is like RVD using the Frog Splash. Villano 4 and 5 SWITCH and steal the win en lieu of subjecting us to the worm! Hey waitaminnit. This match didn't work.

- Oh fuck The Mullets. Hollywood can take my Dixie-fried Pecker and blow it sideways.

- No Josh? No Rikishi match? No Sable or Torrie? What about the 40 year old virgins who toast a load over their Final Fantasy X cartridges onto their plush C'thulu dolls? What about them? WHAT ABOUT THEM?@!?!? Why WWE? WHY?!?

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.




YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 418 days
Last activity: 418 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.47
First, wasn't this the week where his holiness the Baron returned?
I wasn't thinking Bill Watts at the end of SD (although it was something he would use. But, no one buried Eddie under a flag), I was thinking more along the lines of Chris Adams or Gino Hernandez absolutely pulverizing a Von Erich while the Sportatoreum crowd went apoplectic.
For some reason, when Slug was giving A-Train his pep talk, it looked like he was wearing a suit from the Nickle and Dime Volkof collection.
Never thought the grouping of Hennig/Duncum/Windham and Windham would ever get any type of acknowledgement in McMahonland.




Latest sign RSN's mind might be fading: The new plan is to vote for Jerry Remy's Wally the Beanbag Buddy as the Democratic Primary for President.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1230 days
Last activity: 1227 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by redsoxnation
    First, wasn't this the week where his holiness the Baron returned?
    I wasn't thinking Bill Watts at the end of SD (although it was something he would use. But, no one buried Eddie under a flag), I was thinking more along the lines of Chris Adams or Gino Hernandez absolutely pulverizing a Von Erich while the Sportatoreum crowd went apoplectic.
    For some reason, when Slug was giving A-Train his pep talk, it looked like he was wearing a suit from the Nickle and Dime Volkof collection.
    Never thought the grouping of Hennig/Duncum/Windham and Windham would ever get any type of acknowledgement in McMahonland.



DR: All I could think is that it was either Hennig or Duncum's birthday or the anniversary of one of their deaths.

Oh, who knows when the Baron will return....



YES, I AM DEAN.
geemoney
Scrapple








Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

Since last post: 11 days
Last activity: 1 hour
AIM:  
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.20
Smackdown! Thoughts:

I'm diggin' Lesnar's promos lately, including tonights....Holly? Ah, at least he jobbed....I didn't realize the Scotty/Danny match was a 1 on 1 til the last minute or so. Shows how much I cared about that match I guess....Good Angle promo, as usual....What, no London in the C'weight open?....Good ol' Funaki....Okay segment with Paul and Eddie. Just didn't click for me tho....

Real good six-man action. And for his sell of the DDT, Akioi has earned a place with Venis and RVD in the "DDT Sellers Hall of Fame"....I thought the APA segment was all-right, til' they belted out the West Texas Rednecks song. GOLD, I sez....Even with a commercial break, that A-Train match felt long....Nice clip of the HOF'ers....Good energy by Guerrero during the beat down....An OK Smackdown.



Family Guy, the return of SCHEID and more!: http://parksg.blogspot.com
Stilton
Frankfurter








Since: 7.2.04
From: Canada

Since last post: 3122 days
Last activity: 3122 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.98
What tonight's show proved to me is that I NEED to see way more of Ultimo Dragon on Smackdown. That dude can move! I've always known this, but every time I see him I just wonder why they don't do more with him. Rey was his awesome self, as usual. The two of them made this 6-man the most entertaining match of the night for me.

And Dean's right. Benjamin is star on the mic. Natural presence, a ton of charisma. He's got a big future, I think.

Overall, SD was pretty good tonight. Some good matches. Good build up to Mania. And best of all, the worm got squished, again.

(edited by Stilton on 4.3.04 2233)


So sayeth Randy Stilton.
asteroidboy
Andouille








Since: 22.1.02
From: Texas

Since last post: 1368 days
Last activity: 276 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    We go to a commercial and there is STILL no MicroTouch commercial. They do have one of those anti-smoking commercials that makes me want to actually EAT a pack of cigarrettes. Bowflex is replacing the MicroTouch. I feel as if I am responsible for the lack of the MicroTouch. Sure, it wasn't for me- but maybe there was a guy with hair coming out of neck who needed a MicroTouch. To you, my brother, I apologize.


I slept through most of the show, and what I didn't sleep through, I missed because they showed "Rocky" on Turner Classic Movies. Any commercials for those bullshit accident-waiting-to-happen-in-a-wrapper Trojans??

Fuck those anti-smoking ads. Did they show the one with that old waitress who got lung cancer from second-hand smoke? DON'T work in a restaurant/bar/off track betting parlor/telemarketing wherever if you DON'T want cancer. 50,000 deaths a year, my ass.


(edited by asteroidboy on 4.3.04 2135)

-- Asteroid Boy


Wiener of the day: 23.7.02

"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex
"Was he no-selling?" - Me


Spiraling_Shape
Bratwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: PA

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 11 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.44
Hass & Benjamin = COMEDY GOLD!

I loved their short-lived backstage wackiness from last year, mostly on Velocity, which was also an APA feud. The whole Shaniqua=Shelton silliness.

This was far better...as great as Shelton was, don`t overlook Charlie`s "DAMN!"

I would dare say this is E&C calibre heeldom of mockery.

(edited by Spiraling_Shape on 4.3.04 1947)


"I'm the best poetic genius since Leapin' Lanny Poffo."
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1230 days
Last activity: 1227 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
[quote asteroidboyI slept through most of the show, and what I didn't sleep through, I missed because they showed "Rocky" on Turner Classic Movies. Any commercials for those bullshit accident-waiting-to-happen-in-a-wrapper Trojans??


DR: Fuck a Trojan and fuck a Trojan commercial. Luckily, they didn't con some poor teenager into risking a life of pre-mature parenthood by trying to pawn off the inferior Trojan product off on a horny wrestling public this week.

THERE IS ONLY SHIEK ELITES.

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Eddie Famous
Andouille








Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 273 days
Last activity: 266 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.47

Does anyone else find it strange that the last two surviving Rednecks would be the Windham brothers?

And why didn't those two ever develop into a great heel tag team?




"In the sky. Lord, in the sky..."
The Great Thomas
Sujuk








Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 3315 days
Last activity: 3315 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.52
(deleted by CRZ on 4.3.04 2332)
Toast Jr
Goetta








Since: 30.1.03
From: Stafford Springs, CT

Since last post: 22 days
Last activity: 12 hours
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.00
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Shelton Benjamin was soooo Rankin Roger from the English Beat with that blond wig.


DEAN, I would like very much to marry you.

However, my beau pointed out that you are already married, and also he would not appreciate it very much. Instead I will have to settle for lusting after you and your new wave references only in my heart.
Joe E. Nitro
Salami








Since: 4.2.04

Since last post: 3569 days
Last activity: 1050 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.06
It has been week, WEEKS since the WWE has allowed Rikishi to unleash TURDWELLIAN. I fear for the poor soul who must feel TURDWELLIAN's wrath. Do you think it is HHH holding him down?
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1230 days
Last activity: 1227 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by Toast Jr
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Shelton Benjamin was soooo Rankin Roger from the English Beat with that blond wig.


    DEAN, I would like very much to marry you.

    However, my beau pointed out that you are already married, and also he would not appreciate it very much. Instead I will have to settle for lusting after you and your new wave references only in my heart.


I could post a picture of myself not wearing a shirt and that would cure you. You would run. Run so far away...



YES, I AM DEAN.
Spaceman Spiff
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Philly Suburbs

Since last post: 51 days
Last activity: 3 hours
AIM:  
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Originally posted by Toast Jr
        Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
        Shelton Benjamin was soooo Rankin Roger from the English Beat with that blond wig.


      DEAN, I would like very much to marry you.

      However, my beau pointed out that you are already married, and also he would not appreciate it very much. Instead I will have to settle for lusting after you and your new wave references only in my heart.


    I could post a picture of myself not wearing a shirt and that would cure you. You would run. Run so far away...

But she couldn't get away...



Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 318 days
Last activity: 285 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.75
Ouch...Rock as Joe Don Baker. When I think of JDB, I only think of MST3K and Final Justice. That is where JDB used HIS favorite catchphrase, "Go ahead on." Come to think of it, that DOES sound a lot like "Just bring it." Dammit Dean, I guess you are right.

Oh, and the Yeti/Giant/Hogan line really had me cracking up. Nice.



In 11 days, you will see the return of the Undertaker, the Dead Man that most of us have been clamoring for for years.

Also in 11 days, you will see most of us complain about the return of the Dead Man, the Dead Man that most of us have been clamoring for for years.

Damned (straight to Hell) if you do, damned (straight to Hell) if you don't.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1230 days
Last activity: 1227 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by Spaceman Spiff
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
        Originally posted by Toast Jr
          Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
          Shelton Benjamin was soooo Rankin Roger from the English Beat with that blond wig.


        DEAN, I would like very much to marry you.

        However, my beau pointed out that you are already married, and also he would not appreciate it very much. Instead I will have to settle for lusting after you and your new wave references only in my heart.


      I could post a picture of myself not wearing a shirt and that would cure you. You would run. Run so far away...

    But she couldn't get away...


I saw A Flock Of Seagulls open for the Police at Norfolk Scope in 1982. I am the oldest motherfucker alive.



YES, I AM DEAN.
The King of Keith
Lap cheong








Since: 4.11.02
From: Winchester, VA

Since last post: 252 days
Last activity: 212 days
AIM:  
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.63
    Originally posted by Torchslasher
    Ouch...Rock as Joe Don Baker. When I think of JDB, I only think of MST3K and Final Justice. That is where JDB used HIS favorite catchphrase, "Go ahead on." Come to think of it, that DOES sound a lot like "Just bring it." Dammit Dean, I guess you are right.

    Oh, and the Yeti/Giant/Hogan line really had me cracking up. Nice.


Final Justice may be an OK JDB movie, but nothing will ever match the sheer magnificence of Mitchell.

Bad Guy - "How do you like your vodka, Mitchell?"
Crow - "By the quart!"



Price of No Way Out: $34.95
Price of snacks: $20.00
Seeing Eddie Guerrero win the WWE title: Priceless
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 418 days
Last activity: 418 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.47
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Originally posted by Toast Jr
        Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
        Shelton Benjamin was soooo Rankin Roger from the English Beat with that blond wig.


      DEAN, I would like very much to marry you.

      However, my beau pointed out that you are already married, and also he would not appreciate it very much. Instead I will have to settle for lusting after you and your new wave references only in my heart.


    I could post a picture of myself not wearing a shirt and that would cure you. You would run. Run so far away...





It could be worse than that DEAN. You could post a picture of Bea Arthur ogling Abe Vigoda in the red vampiress outfit.
I think that might have been the sickest thing ever posted on this board. Hopefully, no one was eating while reading.



Latest sign RSN's mind might be fading: The new plan is to vote for Jerry Remy's Wally the Beanbag Buddy as the Democratic Primary for President.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1230 days
Last activity: 1227 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by redsoxnation
    It could be worse than that DEAN. You could post a picture of Bea Arthur ogling Abe Vigoda in the red vampiress outfit.
    I think that might have been the sickest thing ever posted on this board. Hopefully, no one was eating while reading.


Bea Arthur or Abe Vigoda would STILL be hotter than hell in a Vampirella outfit.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Retrovertigo
Tocino








Since: 20.12.03
From: Fairfield, OH

Since last post: 3724 days
Last activity: 3722 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.33
    Originally posted by VanillaSky


    Bad Guy - "How do you like your vodka, Mitchell?"
    Crow - "By the quart!"


It was scotch, not vodka. Now, tell Mastretta to get me Galano...
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Have you guys SEEN Jericho lately? He's hardly maintained a "wrestler" body-build, so it would take a few months before it would even be worth SHOWING him on tv. Either way, don't hold your breath. And rule of thumb:
Related threads: The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report 3/4/04 - 3/4 Smackdown Spoilers - the mighty might WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 2/26/2004~! - More...
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