CAT-IN-THE HAT (Universal/Dreamworks/Imagine) CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE (Columbia) FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY (20th Century-Fox) GIGLI (Columbia/Revolution) THE REAL CANCUN (New Line)
WORST ACTOR
Ben Affleck / DAREDEVIL, GIGLI and PAYCHECK Cuba Gooding, Jr. / BOAT TRIP, FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS and RADIO Justin Guarini / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY Ashton Kutcher / CHEAPER by the DOZEN, JUST MARRIED and MY BOSS'S [sic] DAUGHTER Mike Myers / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
WORST ACTRESS
Drew Barrymore / CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE and DUPLEX Cameron Diaz / CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE Kelly Clarkson / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY Angelina Jolie / BEYOND BORDERS and LARA CROFT TOMB RADER: THE CRADLE of LIFE Jennifer Lopez / GIGLI
WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Anthony Anderson / KANGAROO JACK Alec Baldwin / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT Al Pacino / GIGLI Sylvester Stallone (Whose 5 Roles Could Fill This ENTIRE Category!) SPY KIDS 3-D: GAME OVER Christopher Walken / GIGLI and KANGAROO JACK
WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Lanie Kazan / GIGLI Demi Moore / CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE Kelly Preston / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT Brittany Murphy / JUST MARRIED Tara Reid / MY BOSS'S [sic] DAUGHTER
WORST SCREEN COUPLE
Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez / GIGLI Eric Christian Olsen & Derek Richardson / DUMB AND DUMBERER Justin Guarini & Kelly Clarkson / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY Ashton Kutcher & EITHER Brittany Murphy (JUST MARRIED) or Tara Reid (MY BOSS's DAUGHTER) Mike Myers & EITHER Thing One OR Thing Two / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
WORST EXCUSE for an ACTUAL MOVIE (All Concept/No Content!) (New Category)
2 FAST, 2 FURIOUS CHARLIE'S ANGLES: FULL THROTTLE THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY THE REAL CANCUN
WORST REMAKE or SEQUEL
2 FAST, 2 FURIOUS CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE DUMB & DUMBERER: WHEN HARRY MET LLOYD FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY (Remake of WHERE THE BOYS ARE ‘60 and WHERE THE BOYS ARE ‘84) TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
WORST DIRECTOR
Martin Brest / GIGLI Robert Iscove / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY Mort Nathan / BOAT TRIP The Wachowski Brothers / Both MATRIX Sequels Bo Welch / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
WORST SCREENPLAY
THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT, Screenplay by Alec Berg, David Mandel and Jeff Schaffer CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE, Screenplay by John August and Cormac & Marianne Wibberley, “Story” by August DUMB AND DUMBERER, Screenplay by Robert Brener and Troy Miller, “Story” by Brener FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY, Written by Kim Fuller GIGLI, Written by Martin Brest
I gave the movie all of 45 minutes and that was because Ben Affleck was in it. He's a handsome guy, but I definately think he's overrated. Between him and Matt Damon, Damon is the better talent.
Second to that would be FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY because neither Clarkson or Guarini are actual actors. Just pawns of the machine that we call American Idol.
"Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that." - Stewie Griffin
I'm embarassed to say my aunt and cousin watched Gigli last weekend (yes, they RENTED IT!), and they liked it. They even said they laughed! Out loud! This CAN'T be my gene pool....
Originally posted by TicamoMay I be so bold as to predict a GIGLI sweep??
I gave the movie all of 45 minutes and that was because Ben Affleck was in it. He's a handsome guy, but I definately think he's overrated. Between him and Matt Damon, Damon is the better talent.
There's something weird about Affleck: give him Kevin Smith as a director, and he becomes so much more watchable. The last three View Askew films have featured solid work by Ben, and the Jersey Girl trailer has me very excited to see the flick this March.
Other than Smith's films, though, the only time I've ever seen a tolerable Affleck is in Changing Lanes. He's like a lost puppy needing the guidance of Jay's hetero lifemate.
Gigli is the odds-on favorite to win everything, but I hope "Cat In The Hat" gets a little hate thrown it's way.
I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more recognition for how otherworldly terrible the Matrix sequels were as well. (Come on, how can Keanu and She-Keanu be anything but the Worst Onscreen Couple, even competing against "Bennifer" and the American Idol kids. Singling out how unabashedly overrated the Wachowski Brothers are was a nice start, though.)
Originally posted by PeterStork Other than Smith's films, though, the only time I've ever seen a tolerable Affleck is in Changing Lanes. He's like a lost puppy needing the guidance of Jay's hetero lifemate.
True about his work with Smith; for such a supposedly poor director (I don't buy it, despite his lack of camera moves), Kevin has a great talent for making mediocre actors watchable. Have you seen him in Dazed and Confused? Admittedly, his role was pretty small, but I think he did a pretty good job with it.
All of this leads me to believe that maybe, just maybe, Affleck should follow Damon's example and work on more independent, or at least more indie-spirited, films, occasionally making a more typical Hollywood movie to snag the cash. (Conversely, Damon has proven quite a few times that he possibly should be in fewer indie-minded films and a few more mainstream flicks.) Affleck seems so much more comfortable and interested, thus more believable, in the smaller films. He just seems awkward and bored in his big payday mainstream flicks.
Originally posted by olfuzzybastard I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more recognition for how otherworldly terrible the Matrix sequels were as well. (Come on, how can Keanu and She-Keanu be anything but the Worst Onscreen Couple, even competing against "Bennifer" and the American Idol kids. Singling out how unabashedly overrated the Wachowski Brothers are was a nice start, though.)
I'm with you on this one. It's a crime that the shit that was the two Matrix sequels got so little hate, since they and all involved in them deserve to be mocked and ridiculed for years to come.
My vote for worst would go with Full Throttle. I've sat through a lot of crappy movies (including from Justin to Kelly), but at one point when the Angels were actually flying or some shit, I actually got up and left. I think that was probably the first movie I couldn't finish the whole thing.
Lucy Liu obviously got excluded because she was actually in a good movie this year (Kill Bill).
I can't believe the horrible National Security got no votes.
Wait…if it’s MLK Jr. Day AND Pat Patterson’s Birthday…who gets the token win here?-- Matt "Excalibur05" Hocking on a match between Mark Henry and Rico
MH: What’s a clever way to say that I have a penis? CJ: Uh…Mark, nobody’s going to buy that shirt. MH: How about if I say that I’ve got…a…uh…? CJ: Coming up with T-Shirt ideas is hard Mark, why not leave it to the WWE marketing department. MH: I know! I’ve got it! CJ: Got what? MH: Stank! That’s Mah Stank! I’m gonna make a fortune!! CJ: “That’s Mah Stank”? MH: On the front it’ll say “Can You Smell It?” and on the back it’ll say “That’s Mah Stank”. Everybody’ll buy it because they’ll think it’s a Rock shirt. CJ: You know…you might be on to something there, sad to say. MH: I can’t wait to show mah stank to Trish.
You know, I have a feeling that Spanky didn’t quit, he was fired. Why? So they could repackage Mark Henry as “Stanky.” Think about THAT! --Matt "Excalibur05" Hocking, 1/19/04 Raw Satire
Matt Paige Damon [5'10", probably around 170 pounds] Salary: $10,000,000 per film Oscar winning writer [Good Will Hunting] & nominated actor [Good Will Hunting] Golden Globe winning writer [Good Will Hunting] & nominated actor [Good Will Hunting & the Talented Mr. Ripley] 6-time MTV Movie Award nominee $100 Million Movies: 4 [Ocean's Eleven, Bourne Identity, Saving Private Ryan, Good Will Hunting]
Benjamin "Ben" Geza Affleck [6'2", probably around 180 pounds] Salary: $15,000,000 per film Oscar winning writer [Good Will Hunting] Golden Globe winning writer [Good Will Hunting] 5-time MTV Movie Award nominee 5-time Razzie nominee $100 Million Movies: 6 [Daredevil, The Sum of All Fears, Pearl Harbor, Shakespeare In Love, Armageddon, Good Will Hunting]
So...Affleck makes more money, but I'd say that Damon's the better actor...actually having awards for, you know, ACTING. Plus, when Affleck was making dozens of bad movies (Reindeer Games, etc), Damon was making one or two of them (Bagger Vance...) and since has made better ones.
Originally posted by Big BadLucy Liu obviously got excluded because she was actually in a good movie this year (Kill Bill).
I can't believe the horrible National Security got no votes.
Cuba Gooding was in Radio (which the critics loved) and he didnt get excluded
Mr. Burns: You are of course familiar with our state usury laws? Homer:U-sur-y? Mr. Burns: Oh silly me, I must have just used a word that doesn't exist.
I liked "Boat Trip"...it had one of the best quotes of the year in it:
(After Cuba's buddy wakes up sleeping next to a gay friend of his)
Cuba's fat friend to Cuba: (Yelling) "I mean, do I look gay guy to you?"
Random gay guy: "Well, an out of shape one, but we have those too"(my brother, who is gay, laughed for like 10 minutes over that one)
Anyway....has anyone rented the Real Cancun, Gigli or From Justin to Kelly just to hear the Director's Commentary...I wonder if it is like that Simpsons episode where Lisa is watching "The Postman" and Costner just keeps apologizing
I wouldn't give the Razzie to the Real Cancun, it was sad to find out the twins lost their soccer scholarships due to their antics on the movies....and how a few of the other kids got into some trouble too
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Caveat: I have not actually seen any of the movies nominated, but I've heard about them and read reviews and that makes me an EXPERT-type, right?
So let's see...
WORST PICTURE: I can eliminate Cancun and Full Throttle right off the bat as two bits of summer fluff. Whether you prefer your jiggle cheap and semi-anonymous (Cancun's bikini-clad no-names) or expensive and CGI-enhanced (boom blam vroom pow chop-socky GIRL POWER) is up to you.
So what's the most deserving candidate -- a really bad drama starring America's most overexposed couple, a movie that took a big steaming relentlessly-merchandised unfunny runny dump over a cherished children's story, or a completely unnecessary spinoff starring two non-actors famous for performing on an overhyped Star Search-wannabee show?
Me, I'd give 'em all a pass and give it to "Superstar," which is _still_ the worst movie I've ever seen.
WORST ACTOR: Giving it to Guarini is almost too mean, given how far out of his league he was. I'd say Affleck and Kutcher are a toss-up, leaning Kutcher.
WORST ACTRESS: Clarkson -- see Guarini, above. Jolie vs. Lopez for the honor.
WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Aw, c'mon, you bastards, that's WALKEN! Even if he does need to fire his agent. The Kangaroo Jack guy is too much of an unknown, so I say Stallone is the safe bet. He's used to it.
WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: If Brittany Murphy's not the lead actress in Just Married, who is? She's only the COSTAR with her ass pointed at America on all the movie posters.
Moore should get it as a Lifetime Achievement Award.
WORST SCREEN COUPLE: I want to say Dumb & Dumberer, but Justin and Kelly need to get hammered _somewhere_.
WORST EXCUSE FOR AN ACTUAL MOVIE: From Justin To Kelly. No fucking contest.
WORST REMAKE OR SEQUEL: Dumb & Dumberer. Also no contest, as the "Where the Boys Are" connection is a mild stretch.
"As far as my lack of professional courtesy and my obvious immature humor in referring to using your head as a pickle jar, well, I reserve my courtesy for those whom I respect. Your lack of personal integrity has given me much grief, and I find that thinking of your hollowed-out head sitting on top of my fridge and providing a safe haven for pickles is a comforting thought." -- the immortal Bill Mattocks
Anyone upset over the Wachowski brothers getting the worst director nomination? Are fans being too hard on the Matrix sequels? I personally don't think so. But does Anyone else?
We're all just matrix playa hatas.
"Just a humble bounty hunter, ma'am." -Spike Spiegel
I think Cuba didn't get overlooked because in spite of the critical love, Radio was... you know, pretty crappy. Hell, it was The Waterboy - bad comedy + generic tolerance message.
And personally, I don't think the Wachowski brothers should be nominated for directing. For the ridiculous story, sure, maybe they can come up with a special "dropped ball" award for taking something as promising as the first film and making it into... well, into Revolutions.
In spite of the presence of other, far worse films and performances, I'll predict a Gigli sweep.
Kansas-born and deeply ashamed The last living La Parka Marka
"They that can give up essential liberty to gain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin
Again I will say that Dumb and Dumberer and Full Throttle are MUCH worse films than Gigli. I will though go with the majority and say that Gigli will get more stuff dumped on it and make a sweep.
Cuba should not be in his category. I don't think he was bad performance-wise in Radio or The Fighting Tempations. Now Boat Trip...there's a movie worthy of ridicule.
I will go with the minority and say that The Matrix sequels were not that bad and do not deserve to be put alongside the worst movies of the year. I agree with Nate that if you want to attack the Bros. for something, the direction is not the thing to attack. Attacking the Matrix sequels sounds more like nerds being upset that the films didn't reach the level of the first movie, NOT that both movies were utter garbage by themselves. But your mileage may vary.
Damn you WWE for making me change my sig. I'm sure you have good enough reasons to get rid of Shannon, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Let me thus be the first to say: BRING BACK DAFFNEY!
Originally posted by geemoneyI'm embarassed to say my aunt and cousin watched Gigli last weekend (yes, they RENTED IT!), and they liked it. They even said they laughed! Out loud! This CAN'T be my gene pool....
Did you see Gigli? It suffers from the 'people join bandwagon for fun' syndrome. Bad movie? Yes. Worst movie of the year? Not close. It made me laugh when it was supposed to make me laugh at least twice, which is more than I can say for a movie like Dumb and Dumberer or Charlie's Angels, where they take the only good thing and ruin it entirely*
SPOILERS AHOY HOY
*Crispin Glover's character is ruined and then killed. Yay for that movie, and it's inability to see that Glover was one of the big reasons the first one was so much fun.
Caped Boy: Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. My name is Keith Stat from Milbourne, New Jersey. State bird, the mosquito. And as you may have heard I am recently a crowned class B dungeon-master. So if any of you would like to play D&D today, please speak now or forever hold your peace. [He chuckles, and there is an awkward silence at the table.] Caped Boy: Anyone? Alexa! [Alexa gives him a withering glare.] Caped Boy: Maybe you would like to join in? We do need a druid, and you have definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me. Alexa: In your dreams, douche-bag! Caped Boy: Douche-bags are hygienic products, I take that as a compliment. Thank you. [Keith walks off] Alexa: Ewww!
Dammit, what's with all the hate for Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle? I've got it on DVD, and dig the hell out of it! Drew Barrymore never looked better than when she tossed that cap during their, um, "dance" at the club.
And Demi Moore/Cameron Diaz on the beach!? There is a God.
Star wipe, and...we're out. Thrillin' ain't easy.
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Originally posted by The ThrillDammit, what's with all the hate for Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle? I've got it on DVD, and dig the hell out of it! Drew Barrymore never looked better than when she tossed that cap during their, um, "dance" at the club.
And Demi Moore/Cameron Diaz on the beach!? There is a God.
My girlfriend (who loved the first one) said that she felt rather uncomfortable sitting in the movie theater watching 'softcore porn' with her mother. I think some people went into that movie to see a decent action flick, and were rather disappointed.
I stuck to my guns this summer, and didn't allow her to drag me to either Charlie's Angles: Full Throttle or Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life. From her reaction to both of them, I'd say that I made some pretty good decisions.
-Jag
"I'm going to go now and demand beer money from my representative. We simply must deal with the problem of my sobriety." - PalpatineW
Originally posted by HomerJFongWORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Christopher Walken / GIGLI and KANGAROO JACK
Hey now Razzies...don't be hating on Walken. Sure, I was smart enough NOT to see either movie, but it's kind of funny to seeing him winning a award (SAG? Golden Globe? I can't remember) and I think getting nominated for an Oscar last year, now he's nominated for a Razzie.
(edited by DarkRenegade on 28.1.04 1247)
Battle Royale...the best violent movie probably 90% of you have never seen.
"Triple H isn't in the match? Hey! RVD and Jericho might win for once!" -My sister. You know it's gotten bad when an ELEVEN year old knows what's going on.
I feel sorry for the Matrix sequels. They worked so hard to suck so much shit and got so little recognition...
And Walken's work in the Rundown negates every bad movie he's ever been in. Do you understand what I'm saying? Those bastards have my tooth, and you're going to get it back!
Cast in the Name of God Ye Not Guilty (I SWEAR THAT FLCL PICTURE'S LINK WORKS NOW!)
To counter-balance my previous cat thread... Genetic Secrets of Man's Best Friend Revealed Funny, but I was wondering about some of this just the other day. I think getting the Scientific American RSS feed was a REALLY good idea.