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19.12.14 1936
The W - Pro Wrestling - your beloved WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 12/19/02!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1349 days
Last activity: 1346 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85

Boy did this show suck dick tonite. YEAH! Sucked ! Sucked dick. Suck. Bad Bad Bad. Except for Benoit and Angle- who wrestle like motherfuckers.

WHAT WORKED

- Los Hermanos Guerrerros show up and Eddy takes on THEEEEEE MOSSSSSSSST BORING MOTHERFUUUUUUCKING WRRRREEEEESSSSSTTTLLLLLLAAAAAAAAH AAAALIVE! BBBBBBBBBBBIIIIILLLL-EEEEEEe KKKKKKIDMAAAAAAAAN! Eddy punches the ennui-inducing shmoe from Hershey. Quebradora and a Frogsplash but he misses and runs into an edited enzuguiri into the shittiest punches ever. GOD- I hate Billy Kidman. Oh wait. Eddy just hit a Black Tiger Bomb and Kidman didn`t reverse it. Eddy and chavo cheat to win. My hatred of Kidman ceases. Billy- the wrestler- and Dean- the wrestling fan- are now back to square one.

- MATT HARDY FUCKING RULES! I AM AN MFer! The skit was GOLD. The fact that he showed up and was ready to wrestle until something got into his good eye shows what a true warrior he is. Then Shannon Moore DIES LIKE A FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER for my pleasure. A squash is on this side of the ledger. That`s how much this show sucked dick tonight.

- Al Wilson FINALLY comes out and saves the ultra-tedious skits between Dawn Marie and Torrie. They didn`t let him speak though- as the insemenations had finally reached Dawn Maries mind and all she can talk on and on about how she loves it when Al is hittin it from all angles. Al knows a lady needs to express herslf- thus he doesn`t reel his bitch in when she is talking the fool. He knows he`s got his whole life to make it up to his daughter but steady pussy is here today, not here to stay. Quit being such a bitch Torrie. Let a playa play.

- Benoit is your fucking GOD and Angle is your fucking GOD so this rules it. Great wrestling beats comical booking 24-7. Benoit is awesome beating the shit out of Angle early and Angle sells it like a king. Angle Germans to transition and Angle actually lays it into Benoit and Benoit-because he is motherfucking Crippler Chris Benoit- just fucking leans into it like a MAN. Chris Benoit chops the fuck out of Angle before getting cut off. And then they take it to the mat. Benoit throws shoulders to get on offense and is cut-off with a knee to the stomach. They battle to the German and Angle wins. Benoit steals the Eddy move of turning the Olympic Slam into an armdrag and Benoit`s non-Lucha roots pale in comparison and they go back to total MEMPHIS punching to transition to set up two Locomotion German Suplexes by Benoit and they take it to the street and Benoit hits the THIRD Locomotion German and goes for Vertebrae-Fuser `99 Toprope Headbutt into a crossface. And then the run-in hits and there ya go. If Benoit and Lesnar start tagging against Angle and.... oh fuck it`s the fucking BIG SHOW. There is no saving this booking clusterfuck. Great match until the non-finish.

WHAT DIDN`T WORK-
- Awesome! Chuck Palumbo is on the Smackdown. Cena is funny as the best possible frontman for Limp Bizkitz. Chuck sells giant wads and is starting to look like a Modern Day Tony Garrea or possibly a Nouvelle Mike Sharpe and the match takes a bad turn. Chuck looks like shit in this for the most part and I`m at a loss- his punches suck and his elbow is so weak that they edited it. Rikishi comes and looks for revenge. I`m too confused about Chuck suddenly becoming Private Jim Nelson to pay attention. What the fuck? Was he like the Barbarian- who had a weird 8 month period in 1996 where he was a good wrestler? Is the dream over? Was it just a bad night?

- The Big Show continues to show up and he`s not very good. Lately, he is benefitting from fellow bloated bags of fecal spray- Bill Dermott and Albert- diverting my attention from his Blinding Glare Of Sucking Goat Ass Suckingness. This whole show is a billowing burning turd so far this fair evening so Big Show not actually wrestling in a match is probably worthy of the worked column. But fuck that.

- When they said ``BODman`` for that BOD body spray, I thought they said ``Bossman`` and the idea of bottling what the Big Boss Man smells like makes me lose all belief in a kind and loving God.

- The Kurt Angle- Heyman explanation for the hotshotting of Angle as pawn of Heyman was absolutely mind-numbingly ludicrous. So the Big Show is set up to lose to Angle to keep the belt off Brock because- though Big Show can beat Angle according to Angle, you want the belt on Angle unless the Big Show wins it next week? This set-up is horrendously stupid. I got no problem with Angle and Heyman being together but the fact that EITHER of these guys (Big Show and Angle) would buy this set-up is reeeeeeeally fucking ludicrous. No body is that fucking stupid and gullible. Not even Republicans. NEXT WEEK! Brock Lesnar joins Heyman`s new stable! ``As long as either you, or Big Show or Angle has the belt, then WE have the power!`` PEEEEEEEEE- UUUUUUUU!

- Jesus Christ, they stick Bill ``Nope! That Smell`s not a St Bernard With Explosive Diarrehea- That`s Me Sucking Shit In The Ring!`` Dermott in the Jamie Noble saga? Oh fuck this. And then he squashes the lil fellas cuz HE`S REALLY BIG! DERMOTT IS INTENSE! WOW! WWE CAN GET ON IT`S KNEES AND SUCK MY DICK UNTIL I WHITEWASH IT`S TONSILS WITH MY VISCUOUS, GRAYISH-TINTED PECKERSNOT. Bill Dermott is such a Overloaded Dump Truck of Flaming Shit. Suck my dick. And- oh yeah- suck my dick.

- Edge kinda randomly sells the knee and A-Train is Albert. A-Train isn`t Eddy. Eddy is Eddy. Edge isn`t Eddy. Eddy is Eddy. Edge is wrestling A-Train. Edge is not wrestling Eddy. Can Of Crowd was into this- popping like freaks in post-production! A-Train was perfectly fine not fucking up working on Edge`s knee. Edge needs to like- you know- sell the damage to his leg and become good enough to have an offense that works in the context of the match where it doesn`t undo everything the psychoology of the match is based on. instead he has the same shitty spots that he HAS to do every match because his offense is so lame and suck-ass and it is completely counter to the story of the match. Or he should wrestle Eddy Guerrerro and Kurt Angle every week because they can cover for his shitty offense. Edge wrestled A-Train though. A-Train is Albert. Albert isn`t Eddy. Eddy is Eddy. And Eddy is wrestling Kidman now and I just noticed that Eddy is so fucking great that he can make me STOP HATING BILLY KIDMAN. Edge isn`t wrestling Eddy. Edge is wrestling A-Train. A-Train isn`t Eddy. Eddy is Eddy.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.



(edited by DEAN RASMUSSEN on 19.12.02 2207)


YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
The Great Thomas
Sujuk








Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 3433 days
Last activity: 3433 days
#2 Posted on

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    When they said ``BODman`` for that BOD body spray, I thought they said ``Bossman`` and the idea of bottling what the Big Boss Man smells like makes me lose all belief in a kind and loving God.
Um... bottle Bam Bam Bigelow, too! And Akeem! And Vader!



Imagine Dingbat doing babytalk: philosphosize upon your inner warrriorness...(baby)waahh....(Dingbat)destructivity and iglooitis seem to be deterrring the inner warrior from enveloping you....(baby) waahh....(Dingbat)magnodestructivation will be your salvation...(wife) the baby wants its bottle....(Dingbat) that was the message I was conveying to the greatness of warriorness in it magnanimous omnipotent hemotoma.

-The Warrior and his new daughter, according to redsoxnation.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1349 days
Last activity: 1346 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
Bam Bam saved those kids lives. His would smell like fresh hero.

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
deadbeater3
Chipolata








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 4022 days
Last activity: 3930 days
#4 Posted on
Dean, if it is done in real life, it can be done in fantasy. Paul Heyman is doing the Don King, seeing to it that the title belongs to whomever he manages.



The divas should not be about T&A, they should be about Kicking A.
Spaceman Spiff
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Philly Suburbs

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 7 hours
AIM:  
#5 Posted on

    Eddy punches the ennui-inducing shmoe from Hershey

Kidman is from Allentown, not Hershey. There's a ~70 mile gap between the 2 cities.


    DERMOTT IS INTENSE! WOW! WWE CAN GET ON IT`S KNEES AND SUCK MY DICK UNTIL I WHITEWASH IT`S TONSILS WITH MY VISCUOUS, GRAYISH-TINTED PECKERSNOT. Bill Dermott is such a Overloaded Dump Truck of Flaming Shit. Suck my dick. And- oh yeah- suck my dick.

I'm in awe (although it's DeMott, not Dermott).



Matthew: You would've loved it, David. A week in a foreign country, strange people, strange customs...
Dave: Oh, I know what you mean. I've been to Canada.
Bullitt
Shot in the dark








Since: 11.1.02
From: Houston

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 7 days
#6 Posted on

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Then Shannon Moore DIES LIKE A FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER for my pleasure.


There have been threads on here which ask "What Do You Mark Out For?" My answer is always the same. I don't mark out for entrances, or debuts, or angles...I mark out for moves.

So, Dean, if I may...

Brock Lesnar's fucking belly-to-belly overhead suplex that threw Shannon Moore OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FUCKING FLOOR was one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

Oui, je suis Jamie.




"So, sorry sweetie...tootsie-pie...sugarbob...funky bunch."

www.Gordie.ca
The Great Thomas
Sujuk








Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 3433 days
Last activity: 3433 days
#7 Posted on

    Originally posted by deadbeater3
    Dean, if it is done in real life, it can be done in fantasy. Paul Heyman is doing the Don King, seeing to it that the title belongs to whomever he manages.
Tazz already mentioned that.



Imagine Dingbat doing babytalk: philosphosize upon your inner warrriorness...(baby)waahh....(Dingbat)destructivity and iglooitis seem to be deterrring the inner warrior from enveloping you....(baby) waahh....(Dingbat)magnodestructivation will be your salvation...(wife) the baby wants its bottle....(Dingbat) that was the message I was conveying to the greatness of warriorness in it magnanimous omnipotent hemotoma.

-The Warrior and his new daughter, according to redsoxnation.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1349 days
Last activity: 1346 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85

    Originally posted by Bullitt

      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Then Shannon Moore DIES LIKE A FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER for my pleasure.


    There have been threads on here which ask "What Do You Mark Out For?" My answer is always the same. I don't mark out for entrances, or debuts, or angles...I mark out for moves.

    So, Dean, if I may...

    Brock Lesnar's fucking belly-to-belly overhead suplex that threw Shannon Moore OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FUCKING FLOOR was one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

    Oui, je suis Jamie.



DR: But the move is 900% Moore agreeing to take the insane bump. The fact that Lesnar would have done the same for Moore if the situation ever came up, makes it a cool move.

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Spaceman Spiff
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Philly Suburbs

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 7 hours
AIM:  
#9 Posted on
I would mark out 300x more if Moore throws Lesnar out of the ring in the same manner



Matthew: You would've loved it, David. A week in a foreign country, strange people, strange customs...
Dave: Oh, I know what you mean. I've been to Canada.
StampedeFan23
Morcilla








Since: 12.1.02
From: BC, Canada

Since last post: 2109 days
Last activity: 1645 days
#10 Posted on

    Originally posted by Bullitt

      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Then Shannon Moore DIES LIKE A FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER for my pleasure.


    There have been threads on here which ask "What Do You Mark Out For?" My answer is always the same. I don't mark out for entrances, or debuts, or angles...I mark out for moves.

    So, Dean, if I may...

    Brock Lesnar's fucking belly-to-belly overhead suplex that threw Shannon Moore OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FUCKING FLOOR was one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

    Oui, je suis Jamie.



After reading this, I now mark out for DEAN~!



Are you ready for Mahkan-mania to run wild all over you?
shea
Bockwurst








Since: 1.2.02
From: Brooklyn NY

Since last post: 4057 days
Last activity: 3943 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.74
Am I the only one who thought Matt Hardy was supposed to "catch" Moore on that move?

It sure looked like Matt made a hesitant move to cushion Shannon's fall, then chickened out at the last second.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1349 days
Last activity: 1346 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
I think Matt subconsciously moved towards him to catch but fought the reflex because it looked like that was the bump he going to planning on taking by the way he landed. I mean- fuck- it's Matt Hardy. He's not going to puss out of catching someone.

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Mandark
Linguica








Since: 20.9.02

Since last post: 4158 days
Last activity: 4153 days
#13 Posted on
Yeah, I thought the point of that was to show that not only was Matt Hardy (version 1) such a shitheel as to sacrifice his best friend to Brock Lesnar, but also that he wouldn't even try to break his fall when Lesnar threw him out of the ring.

Man, I hope Smackdown doesn't continue this downward slide to the point where Dean has to pad the worked section every week like he did before the Guerrero/Benoit jump triggered the big run of good stuff.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1349 days
Last activity: 1346 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
If they align Lesnar and Benoit, I would prolly jump back on Smackdown's junk. PROBABLY.

DEAN.



YES, I AM DEAN.
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