My wife is nursing the youngest punkin 26 hours a day and is far too irritable and far too prone to fits of sheer horrendous violence to do anything with any of the other Rasmussen children, so I am mother AND father to the other 3 for awhile. And yea, verily I say unto thee, mine psychiatrists bills might verily outwiegh mine bailbondsmen bills when my progeny reach each individual 16th year.... Anyhoos, Angie sed, "Hey, the Peking Acrobats are performing at the Landmark Theatre thursday. You wanna take the girls?" I was like, "Yes, thank you for posing it as a question" in my mind. My mouth actually said, "Sure". A third voice- a dark sinister voice- said to myself, "If only I may now have permission to die....." But she only listens to the second, outward voice. Thus, I was wrangled. And I was actually looking forward to it since I love shit like this. So we load up the mini-van, crank up the High On Fire and head to Richmond.
- I loved the 17 people on a bike at one time. It was awesome. It was like one of those three tier waterskiiing formations but it was on one bike and involved human beings assuming the role of scaffolding. They did four circles of the stage and we all stood up and held up three fingers and cried during the third lap.
- They had these two recurring clown characters that kept popping up throughout the show. It was very Circe De Soleil-esque, but these were Whimsical Chinese Guys instead of Artsy French Canadians so you didn't want to punch them in the teeth. The main clown figure balanced a 50 foot pole on his forehead- which fucking rocked. The secondary clown figure was double jointed and did really contorted things inside a metal cylinder. The main guy made fun of the second guys buttocks protruding from the opther end of the tube and an uncomfortable lauf was had by all. China is a foreign country.
- There was this other contortionist lady who did this multi-leveled lamp-holder act, where she would stand on her neck and drape her legs behind her at impossible angles and swing these lamps around. That was neat. Then six ladies would- okay, let me give this a shot- the first lady faces out with their chin flat on the ground and she arches back so that her feet are flat on the floor in front of her. The second places her chin on the---- LADY BUSINESS--- of the first lady and bends her legs over places her feet on the first lady's knees. After the sixth lady, I try to figure out how much peyote mixed with viagra I would need to conjure up this image on my own.
- This guy builds a tower of chairs 40 feet high, starting with the first chair being balanced on four glass bottles, and he then does RIDICULOUSLY idiotic things while on top- topping it off by balancing on ONE hand while balancing on two legs of the chair while hovering 40 feet in the air. My youngest daughter gets the willies and wants to leave. I try to explain to her that the reason you go to these things is to watch someone you don't know plunge to his death. She feels better and we bond as parent and child, both mentally trying to crack the glass in the bottles holding up the tower.
- They did this act where they would do like rings exercises in gymnastics, except there were no rings, just leather straps. They would wrap themselves up in these straps up to the ceiling and suddenly unfurl themselves to within inches of the ground- but they stop while in some HIDEOUSLY painful looking position- like their arms jerked up behind their backs. I begin wondering if there will be an act where they just wail on each other with 2x4s. And later, of course, they instead use long wooden poles across the back.
- I wanted to mount all the unicycle dish-balancing girls. But I'm so old that I wanted to mount all the ring-jumping boys. Hell, I would have had a go at the middle-aged usher.
WHAT DIDN'T WORK-
- Parking. Whose brilliant idea was it to have a theatre have shows one block from VCU during night classes? BAH! We parked between Park and Grove two blocks past Harrison street and walked across campus. I immediately begin pointing to places that weren't there anymore. "That used to be Shafer court. Bands useta play there." My children's eyes would light up as I wistfully relayed these stories and they would say, in unison, "Are we there yet?"
- The Kung Fu section was my oldest's favorite part. She loved the part where they held a guy aloft with the pointy ends of five spears. I was thinking that this was more like if King's Dominion had a "36 Chambers Of Kung Fu!" Hong Kong Review- with overly choreographed fighting replacing the Motown medey.
- $71 for three tickets? Geez. Maybe I missed the fine print on the ticket where it said price of admission allows me to have a go with one of the plate-twirling women. We did have really fucking great seats though.
- The pole balancers kept losing the poles off their chins and we started a "You fucked Up!" chant. Not really. But they did. And they sucked. I mean, c'mon, the clown guy did your act as a sideline to his main comedy act. Least you could do is balance poles with a little bit of PRIDE. You little bitch! Three little bitches! Three non-balancing of poles bitches!
Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSENThis guy builds a tower of chairs 40 feet high, starting with the first chair being balanced on four glass bottles, and he then does RIDICULOUSLY idiotic things while on top- topping it off by balancing on ONE hand while balancing on two legs of the chair while hovering 40 feet in the air. My youngest daughter gets the willies and wants to leave. I try to explain to her that the reason you go to these things is to watch someone you don't know plunge to his death. She feels better and we bond as parent and child, both mentally trying to crack the glass in the bottles holding up the tower.
So, you showed your daughter a guy doing something ridiculously idiotic, extremely dangerous, doing it for low/no money while all the while knowing if he got injured he would be fortunate if the owner/promoter paid for him to go to a vet? Did she get Sabu's autograph after the show?
Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSENI wanted to mount all the unicycle dish-balancing girls. But I'm so old that I wanted to mount all the ring-jumping boys. Hell, I would have had a go at the middle-aged usher.
It's comforting to know that DEAN has fully embraced his inner Catholic priest.