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The W - Pro Wrestling - your beloved NWA-UNIVERSAL WORKRATE REPORT- 7/2/2005!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1327 days
Last activity: 1324 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
AWESOME! It's from Oklahoma! It's only a half hour! It's here: http://www.Wrestlingnetwork.net. Breathe deep the internet indie golden age....

WHAT WORKED-

- AWESOME! They run in Muskogee. I wonder how the Okies from Muskogee handle the indie wrestling. I would think that if Merle Haggard wrote a song about your town, you would expect blood in a few matches.

- Char Starr and Heather Divine wrestle. Char does a drop onto Heather's face and kinda scootches forward. Commissioner Mike notes that it's "hard to explain right there." I tend to agree with our commisioner- though I back Char's play 100%. Char is a thick lady and Heather is a bit more lithesome. When I look at either, I think of women that TomK entertains when Phil says the "Tom K is MIA." They have a fine lowgrade wrestling match before completely fucking up the finish. Which also made me think of ladies that Tom K would be entertaining.

- Aspen Athletic Club commercial has footage of people throwing the medicine ball. Do they have a machine that jiggles your fat? One of those steam boxes where your head sticks out? Talk about old school.

- Brandon Groom(e) versus Splash Jackson with MAN-SERVANT~! Okay, that's the greatest gay porn gimmick EVER. Groome has a nice forearm and a nice dropkick. Splash Jackson is good at stomping on Groome- so it truly is the coolest gay porn gimmick ever. Evil Heel Announcer Charming Charles starts to sound a lot like the Okie Red Green and it's disconcerting. They cut to a commercial after discussing the fact that MAN-SERVANT~! is 390 and is wearing Daisy Dukes. MAN-SERVANT~! comes in to finish off Groome in the corner and avalanches Splash accidentally and eats a Superkick like a fucking king. Splash Jackson does a Valentine flop facefirst into MAN-SERVANT~!'s groinular region and Commisioner Mike dubs the move "Payday". Commisioner Mike is solid gold. Groome does the cool ass Airplane Spin into a Death Valley Driver for the pin. Rick O'Brien needs to steal Splash Jackson and MAN-SERVANT~!. They fucking rule. Groome isn't bad at all.

- FREE BEER with VIP Ringside seats? What the fuck? That would be worth driving two days. What the fuck?

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- Titles when the wrestles come out would be nice. I mean is it "K-9" or "Canine"? And is it "Scrappy" of "Strappy"?

- Scrappy K-9 and Sean O'Malley are big fat guys and I wish they worked a lot stiffer so I could say that these Oklahoma guys are WRESTLE ASSOCIATION R- USA. Instead they blow the Argentinian Backbreaker and improvise a finish. And I await another to name one of these the new Osamu Tachihikari.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN




YES, I AM DEAN.
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I hate to ask people to do work for me, but I'm looking for a transcript of Hulk Hogan's basically insane promo from WrestleMania IV. I've tried every single combination of search terms that I can think of on google, and nothing is coming up at all.
- Wolfram J. Paulovich, Help regarding Hogan's WrestleMania IV promo? (2005)
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