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The W - Pro Wrestling - your beloved NWA-UNIVERSAL WORKRATE REPORT- 7/2/2005!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1204 days
Last activity: 1201 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
AWESOME! It's from Oklahoma! It's only a half hour! It's here: http://www.Wrestlingnetwork.net. Breathe deep the internet indie golden age....

WHAT WORKED-

- AWESOME! They run in Muskogee. I wonder how the Okies from Muskogee handle the indie wrestling. I would think that if Merle Haggard wrote a song about your town, you would expect blood in a few matches.

- Char Starr and Heather Divine wrestle. Char does a drop onto Heather's face and kinda scootches forward. Commissioner Mike notes that it's "hard to explain right there." I tend to agree with our commisioner- though I back Char's play 100%. Char is a thick lady and Heather is a bit more lithesome. When I look at either, I think of women that TomK entertains when Phil says the "Tom K is MIA." They have a fine lowgrade wrestling match before completely fucking up the finish. Which also made me think of ladies that Tom K would be entertaining.

- Aspen Athletic Club commercial has footage of people throwing the medicine ball. Do they have a machine that jiggles your fat? One of those steam boxes where your head sticks out? Talk about old school.

- Brandon Groom(e) versus Splash Jackson with MAN-SERVANT~! Okay, that's the greatest gay porn gimmick EVER. Groome has a nice forearm and a nice dropkick. Splash Jackson is good at stomping on Groome- so it truly is the coolest gay porn gimmick ever. Evil Heel Announcer Charming Charles starts to sound a lot like the Okie Red Green and it's disconcerting. They cut to a commercial after discussing the fact that MAN-SERVANT~! is 390 and is wearing Daisy Dukes. MAN-SERVANT~! comes in to finish off Groome in the corner and avalanches Splash accidentally and eats a Superkick like a fucking king. Splash Jackson does a Valentine flop facefirst into MAN-SERVANT~!'s groinular region and Commisioner Mike dubs the move "Payday". Commisioner Mike is solid gold. Groome does the cool ass Airplane Spin into a Death Valley Driver for the pin. Rick O'Brien needs to steal Splash Jackson and MAN-SERVANT~!. They fucking rule. Groome isn't bad at all.

- FREE BEER with VIP Ringside seats? What the fuck? That would be worth driving two days. What the fuck?

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- Titles when the wrestles come out would be nice. I mean is it "K-9" or "Canine"? And is it "Scrappy" of "Strappy"?

- Scrappy K-9 and Sean O'Malley are big fat guys and I wish they worked a lot stiffer so I could say that these Oklahoma guys are WRESTLE ASSOCIATION R- USA. Instead they blow the Argentinian Backbreaker and improvise a finish. And I await another to name one of these the new Osamu Tachihikari.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN




YES, I AM DEAN.
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The fact that Eddie was taken from being the hottest act on Smackdown (and arguably in the whole WWE) and is now shoehorned back into the midcard could also be called career suicide, but hey.
- Big Bad, Chavo (2003)
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