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The W - Current Events & Politics - You just can't make up news like this...
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CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
...nobody would believe it. (Forwarded to me by a coworker)

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070206/D8N46ELO0.html


    Astronaut Charged With Kidnap Attempt

    Feb 6, 6:31 AM (ET)

    By MIKE SCHNEIDER


    ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) - An astronaut drove 900 miles and donned a disguise to confront a woman she believed was her rival for the affections of a space shuttle pilot, police said. She was arrested Monday and charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.

    U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew last July on a shuttle mission to the international space station, was also charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery. She was denied bail and is scheduled to make a court appearance Tuesday.

    Police said Nowak drove from her home in Houston to the Orlando International Airport to confront Colleen Shipman.

    Nowak believed Shipman was romantically involved with Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, a pilot during space shuttle Discovery's trip to the space station last December, police said.

    Nowak told police that her relationship with Oefelein was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to an arrest affidavit. Police officers recovered a love letter to Oefelein in her car.

    ...

    When she found out that Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her, according to the arrest affidavit. Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said.

    ...

    Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, Nowak boarded an airport bus that Shipman took to her car in an airport parking lot. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.

    Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said.

    Shipman drove to the parking lot booth, and the police were called.

    During a check of the parking lot, an officer followed Nowak and watched her throw away a bag containing the wig and BB gun. They also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, $600 and garbage bags inside a bag Nowak was carrying when she was arrested, authorities said.

    Inside Nowak's vehicle, which was parked at a nearby motel, authorities uncovered a pepper spray package, an unused BB-gun cartridge, latex gloves and e-mails between Shipman and Oefelein. They also found a letter "that indicated how much Mrs. Nowak loved Mr. Oefelein," an opened package for a buck knife, Shipman's home address and hand written directions to the address, the arrest affidavit said.

    [MORE]



Uh....wow.



I AM CRZ
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oldschoolhero
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Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
She's clearly been to the Brain Slug planet.



To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires, and lights, in a box.-Edward R. Murrow
The Goon
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.08
Driving long distances with diapers on is a brilliant aspect of this plan.
Reverend J Shaft
Liverwurst








Since: 25.6.03
From: Home of The Big House

Since last post: 13 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.97
    Originally posted by CRZ
    Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said.


My vote for most hilarious part of the story....
RYDER FAKIN
Six Degrees of Me








Since: 21.2.02
From: ORLANDO

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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.16
"Robo-Chick" is her nickname (because she operates(ed) the catch and grab remote arm on the shuttle). Great soundbyte

FLEA



Demonstrations are a drag. Besides, we're much too high

1ryderfakin.com
DJ FrostyFreeze
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 85 days
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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.86

    Originally posted by Reverend J Shaft
      Originally posted by CRZ
      Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said.

    My vote for most hilarious part of the story....
THAT'S the most hilarious part of the story?? Not the wig & trenchcoat? Not the 900-mile car trip in a diaper? Not the fact that this woman is MARRIED with 3 kids (I guess that part is more sad than anything)? Not the fact that she thought she'd need a BB gun, AND pepper spray, AND a folding knife, AND a steel mallet, AND garbage bags to carry out this "very UN-astronaut-like plan" of hers (that's a quote from my boss)?? Not the part where she thought the police would buy her "I just wanted to talk to her" story??


I cant decide which of those things is the funniest, but the part that really stood out for me was:

    Originally posted by the article
    Nowak told police that her relationship with Oefelein was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to an arrest affidavit.
What the hell does that mean? Friends w/ Privilages? Or one of those deals where she's wacko (duh) and actually believes that there's something going on between them but the guy has no idea she exists?



You should visit AlenOnline.com today
Reverend J Shaft
Liverwurst








Since: 25.6.03
From: Home of The Big House

Since last post: 13 days
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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.97
    Originally posted by DJ FrostyFreeze
      Originally posted by Reverend J Shaft
        Originally posted by CRZ
        Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said.

      My vote for most hilarious part of the story....
    THAT'S the most hilarious part of the story?? Not the wig & trenchcoat? Not the 900-mile car trip in a diaper? Not the fact that this woman is MARRIED with 3 kids (I guess that part is more sad than anything)? Not the fact that she thought she'd need a BB gun, AND pepper spray, AND a folding knife, AND a steel mallet, AND garbage bags to carry out this "very UN-astronaut-like plan" of hers (that's a quote from my boss)?? Not the part where she thought the police would buy her "I just wanted to talk to her" story??


That stuff made her seem kinda sad. The part I quote is kinda Benny Hill-ish. Which I find funny. Sue me.
Roy.
Pepperoni








Since: 25.2.04
From: Keystone State

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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.84
    Originally posted by The Goon
    Driving long distances with diapers on is a brilliant aspect of this plan.


I concur. You really have to put together a well-made plan to think of the diapers. How long does a bathroom break take on a long trip? 10 minutes? She really must've had a tight schedule.
DJ FrostyFreeze
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 85 days
Last activity: 8 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.86

    Originally posted by Roy.
    How long does a bathroom break take on a long trip? 10 minutes? She really must've had a tight schedule.
It looks like she did, actually. She (Nowak, crazy woman) drove across 4 states to confront this poor woman (Shipman, victim) and actually caught the same airport-to-parkinlg-lot shuttle she was on. That's some pretty kick-ass timing.

    Originally posted by the article
    When Nowak found out that Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her, according to the arrest affidavit. Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said.

    [...]

    Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, Nowak boarded an airport bus that Shipman took to her car in an airport parking lot. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.


By the way, the article also mentions that astronauts routinely werar diapers during liftoff and re-entry, which kinda makes that part of the story a little less crazy, but not that much.



You should visit AlenOnline.com today
ges7184
Lap cheong








Since: 7.1.02
From: Birmingham, AL

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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.40
You know, if I had read this story not knowing her occupation, I seriously doubt I would have thought "Hmm, she must be a NASA astronaut." I am also thinking that if I am one of her fellow astronauts, I'm glad she lost her ever-loving mind on the ground instead of up in space. Wow indeed.



The Bored are already here. Idle hands are the devil's workshop. And no... we won't kill dolphins. But koalas are fair game.
wmatistic
Andouille








Since: 2.2.04
From: Austin, TX

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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.08
    Originally posted by DJ FrostyFreeze
      Originally posted by Roy.
      How long does a bathroom break take on a long trip? 10 minutes? She really must've had a tight schedule.
    It looks like she did, actually. She (Nowak, crazy woman) drove across 4 states to confront this poor woman (Shipman, victim) and actually caught the same airport-to-parkinlg-lot shuttle she was on. That's some pretty kick-ass timing.

      Originally posted by the article
      When Nowak found out that Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her, according to the arrest affidavit. Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said.

      [...]

      Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, Nowak boarded an airport bus that Shipman took to her car in an airport parking lot. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.


    By the way, the article also mentions that astronauts routinely werar diapers during liftoff and re-entry, which kinda makes that part of the story a little less crazy, but not that much.


Well this certainly makes a cheap alternative to flying. Gee I COULD pay for a flight, or I could strap on a diaper and drive there almost as fast. Hmmmm.
Eddie Famous
Andouille








Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 242 days
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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.90

Ground control to Capt. Lisa....
Commencing countdown diapers on.....

This would've been SUCH a great Judge Judy show.



As of 2/28/05: 101 pounds since December 7, 2004
OFFICIAL THREE-MONTH COUNT: 112 pounds on March 9, 2005
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As of 2/27/06: 202 pounds "I've lost a heavyweight"
As of 7/31/06: 224 pounds
ges7184
Lap cheong








Since: 7.1.02
From: Birmingham, AL

Since last post: 79 days
Last activity: 2 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.40
They have decided to charge her with attempted first-degree murder. Considering the "equipment" she had, I don't guess it's that surprising.



The Bored are already here. Idle hands are the devil's workshop. And no... we won't kill dolphins. But koalas are fair game.
Zeruel
Thirty Millionth Hit
Moderator








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Silver Spring in the Land of Mary.

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#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
    Originally posted by DJ FrostyFreeze
    Not the fact that this woman is MARRIED with 3 kids (I guess that part is more sad than anything)?


According to the radio this morning, she had been separated for three months now and the cops had to be called before on her and her husband for some heated arguments.



-- 2006 Time magazine Person of the Year --

Wpob
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Since: 21.11.02
From: Williston Park, NY

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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.26
The part i do not understand (what, there is only ONE?) is even if she wore diapers to cut out bathroom breaks, didn't she have to stop for gas? How much longer could a quick stop into the john to urinate take?

As of right now and without giving it a lot of thought, this is the craziest story I have ever heard!



Do you think God knew what He was doing when He created woman? Huh? No shit. I really wanna know. Or do you think it was another one of His minor mistakes like tidal waves, earthquakes, FLOODS? You think women are like that? S'matter? You don't think God makes mistakes? Of course He does. We ALL make mistakes. Of course, when WE make mistakes they call it evil. When GOD makes mistakes, they call it... nature. So whaddya think? Women... a mistake... or DID HE DO IT TO US ON PURPOSE?
Mayhem
Scrapple








Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 1 day
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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.21

Can her argument be that she "spaced-out"?

Ba-dum-dum ...
RYDER FAKIN
Six Degrees of Me








Since: 21.2.02
From: ORLANDO

Since last post: 584 days
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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.13
Current soundbyte is "astro-NUT". That's a good one

FLEA



Demonstrations are a drag. Besides, we're much too high

1ryderfakin.com
jwrestle
Lap cheong








Since: 4.4.03
From: Nitro WV

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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.51
There is a precedent for everything including astronauts getting charged for crimes. She is the first one ever on active duty to get into this type of crazy action.

I think the diaper is probably the thing that really sends it a bit overboard. Yet, not a bad idea if you are going on a long, long, long car trip. You might just get there a little quicker...just a little.




Never know who you'll find drunk, not me...I only have the goofy look, at an Irish Pub...current NWA World Women's Champion Christie Ricci
DJ FrostyFreeze
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 85 days
Last activity: 8 hours
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.86

    Originally posted by jwrestle
    I think the diaper is probably the thing that really sends it a bit overboard. Yet, not a bad idea if you are going on a long, long, long car trip.
Probably not necessary, but I would like to point out that it is in fact ALWAYS a bad idea for an adult to wear a diaper for the sole purpose of saving time during a long car trip.



You should visit AlenOnline.com today
Llakor
Landjager








Since: 2.1.02
From: Montreal, Quebec, CANADA

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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.24
    Originally posted by RYDER FAKIN
    "Robo-Chick" is her nickname (because she operates(ed) the catch and grab remote arm on the shuttle). Great soundbyte

    FLEA


You mean she operated the CANADA-Arm?

Wow.

BLAME CANADA

When did you turn into such a HATER Flea?




"Don't Blame CANADA, Blame Yourselves!"
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