I'm a day late but if I were only a dollar short, I'd be rather happy.
JTG vs Chavo Guererro
Apparently JTG has sparkly wings on his pants to symbolize that he's Young, Fly and Flashy. Mat wrestling to start out. A neat looking little spot where Chavo whipped JTG off the ropes and dropped down only to have JTG immediately stop and stomp on Chavo's head instead of jumping over. Chavo charges JTG and gets backdropped over the ropes but hangs on (although nearly slipping off the apron.) Baseball slide from JTG to the outside which Chavo leapfrogs. JTG tries to hook Chavo's feet but Chavo again nimbly jumps over him only to finally be caught when JTG just grabs both legs and yanks them out from under him, sending Chavo face first into the apron and back against the barricade. Nice little exchange there.
Grisham informs us that the corner of the ring is he hardest part despite Chavo landing a good 4 feet from the post. JTG poises for a sunset flip back into the ring only to eat a dropkick from Guerrero who then attacks on the floor before hitting a hijo (probably the wrong word, I'm picking a Spanish move at random here) back into the ring. Chavo with a bicep cutter into a keylock, according to Matt Striker. JTG with a high impact comeback. JTG goes for the mugshot but gets dropped face first over the turnbuckle and Chavo hits the frog splash for the victory. So much for JTG's push.
Winner:Chavo Guererro at 5m30s
These guys could probably do better with proper motivation but it was a decent match with some entertaining exchanges.
Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer vs Jaymin Canceco & Matt Cross
Holy shit! It's M-Dogg 20! Striker even acknowledges his nickname. He sure looks a lot more generic than the last time I saw him. Of course, the last time I saw him he had a foot high mohawk and was doing a shooting star press about 15' from me so I suppose half the WWE locker room would look generic by comparison. Canceco has a nice little spinning thing for his introduction. Imagine a spinaroonie where the person doing it never leaves their feet. Smart of him to get his most impressive offense in before the match.
Chain wrestling between Hawkins and Canceco to start things off which ends with Canceco on the mat with his legs cloverleafed as Hawkins smacks him across the back of the head. “Jaymin Canceco is a former New York State power lifter,” says Striker. “And he has a rat tail,” notes Grisham as Hawkins grabs Canceco by said tail and pulls back while stepping into the cloverleafed legs. “Well, that's what it's for,” responds Striker.
Canceco mounts a miniscule comeback consisting of a single kick before running into a Hawkins power slam. Hawkins tags in Archer who kicks the downed Canceco in the head. Archer's hair and beard have grown out to the point where his intense stare of doom actually looks quite good. Canceco dodges a corner charge by Archer and makes a diving tag to Cross.
Before M-Dogg 20 can even get in the ring, Archer drops him to the floor with a hammer fist right between the eyes much to Striker's delight. “Matt Cross just got punched in the face!” declares Striker, giggling. Archer rolls Cross back in and launches him across the ring with an overhead throw. Archer then puts Cross up on his shoulders and starts talking smack only to have Cross wiggle free and roll him up for one and a quarter. Archer turns Cross inside out with a clothesline and then begins dropping bombs as Striker surmises that Archer was embarrassed by the "cute little roll up." Inverted DDT / flying elbow combo finish Cross off for the victory.
Winners: Hawkins & Archer at 2m53s
Recap of the NXT Battle Royal. There are a lot of things you can justifiably criticize about the WWE but I think one thing that's unquestionable is that they have one of the greatest video editing crews in the world. I would actually buy a DVD that was just the greatest recap videos of all time.
Maryse & Jillian Hall vs The Bella Twins
Jillian announces, via singing, that anything the Bella Twins can do, she can do better, referring to the fact that the Bellas have screwed her over in 3 straight matches.
Right off the bat, Jillian throws Nikki to the mat and then mimics Maryse's hair whip and wink on the ropes. Cole and Lawler, being complete fucking idiots, go on about how Jillian is mocking her own partner, completely oblivious to the fact that she's demonstrating her ability to mimic her partner as well as the Bella Twins do each other. Seriously, that was a nice bit of foreshadowing and storytelling and the worst announce team in the history of professional wrestling completely blows it.
The blondes take control while Cole and Lawler trade sexist jibes and question Maryse's relationship with Ted Dibiase. Nikki hits a modified electric chair and makes the tag. Brie takes over on Maryse until Jillian breaks up a tag. While the referee is removing Jillian from the ring, the Bellas hit a double bulldog on Maryse. The referee turns around to see both Bellas in the ring and while he's dealing with them Jillian tries to pull the switcharoo. Unfortunately, it's so blatant that everyone, including the refree sees it. (While they might be able to pull it off from behind, it would work better if one weren't wearing shorts and the other long pants.) Not to mention that Jillian pushed Maryse out of the wrong side of the ring and the referee keeps looking at the empty heel corner.
The referee admonishes Jillian, ordering her out of the ring while Maryse sneaks all the way around the ring and catches Brie from behind. The blondes double team Brie in the corner before Jillian crushes her with a Samoan drop. Jillian starts throwing mounted punches to the point that the referee has to pull her off. She continues struggling against him while the Bellas switch places behind the ref's back. Jillian tries to lift up Nikki only to be caught in a jack knife pin for the win.
Winners:The Bella Twins at 3m39s.
Aside from Kelly Kelly, the Bellas may be the biggest cheaters in the WWE right now.
Chris Jericho vs Yoshi Tatsu
Jericho takes advantage early with an eye poke only 12 second into the match. Jericho beats down Tatsu for a bit but Tatsu mounts his comeback with 3 of those knife edge chops that were banned. Y2J chant as Tatsu takes it to Jericho on the floor. Lawler acknowledges the chants as we go to commercial.
Back from the break, Jericho is smacking Tatsu across the back of the head. Yoshi mounts a comeback via punches and even more knife edge chops. Has the WWE not bothered to hire a Japanese interpreter to explain to Yoshi that knife edge chops are verboten? This is the second week in a row that he's utilized the move since the story broke that the move had been banned.
Tatsu must have gotten busted open at some point during the break because there's no obvious spot where it would have happened until Jericho pulls down his knee pad and drops a knee to Yoshi's eye and then walks around cockily while apparently telling the referee to check the cut. Jericho lands some forearms to the head and a dropkick to the back and then the referee can be seen calling for the doctor while Jericho chucks Tatsu out to the floor, never missing a beat.
Jericho keeps attention in the ring by first stretching out in the corner and then getting a chair and giving himself a manicure while the ref and trainer see to Yoshi's cut. This is why Jericho is truly the best in the world at what he does. Just about anybody else would have just looked like an idiot standing around waiting for the cut to be closed or, at best, standing their talking trash but Jericho never seemed to lose the flow for a moment and immediately got right back into it as soon as Yoshi was able to continue.
Small Yoshi chant once the match restarts. After some brief offense from Jericho, Tatsu mounts a comeback with kicks and even MORE knife edge chops. Seriously, how has this guy kept his job? Tatsu runs into a boot to kill his momentum and Jericho locks in the rear chinlock. Jericho misses a Lionsault, landing on his feet only to be rocked by about the tenth knife edge chop of the match. Spinning heel kick floors Jericho but only gets two. Jericho with a double underhook suplex into a backbreaker but Tatsu kicks out at two.
Jericho peppers the back of Tatsu's head with taunting slaps but then meets a double handed chop that echoes throughout the arena. Jericho takes the worst version of Tatsu's roll through kick that I think I've seen, going at about a 45 degree angle instead of 90, but Tatsu quickly adjusts and lands the kick anyway. Shining Wizard from Tatsu! Jericho barely kicks out. Jericho with a clothesline but Tatsu kicks out.
Jericho starts screaming at the “stupid idiot” to say down before chucking him out of the ring but Yoshi somehow manages to skin the cat from the bottom rope and lands 3 kicks and then the kick of doom from which nobody has ever kicked out.
So, naturally, after landing his move that nobody has ever kicked out of, Yoshi decides to go up top. Tatsu misses a spin kick and Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho. Yoshi tries to power his way to the ropes but Jericho drags him back to the center of the ring and pulls back into the Liontamer, causing Tatsu to tap.
Winner:Chris Jericho at 8m12s shown.
Quite good for what it was, especially considering the match was stopped for blood. I imagine these guys could put on a very good match given the proper motivation.
Total Wrestling Time: 20m14s shown. Not bad for a one hour show. This is why I watch Superstars.
SS has been pretty rockin lately. They are giving ring time to people not being used on the main shows and the matches (or overall segments at least) are being given actual time! The Divas got to work a decent and entertaining match, Y2J/Yoshi was WWE match of the week, and Chavo got a win!!! It's like someone completely different books this show and that's a good thing.
I believe that was a failed attempt to sarcastically convey that despite what WWE might say about his "self-destruction," he's an incredible physical and mental specimen who would have no reason to end it all. Uh, I think.