-- Superstars open. In case you're wondering, here is how the "roulette faces" are ordered:
Left Right Batista Cena Orton Undertaker Kelly Kelly(?) Maryse(?) Jericho Jeff Hardy (Jericho looks pissed, and Jeff looks goofy) Edge Mysterio HBK HHH
Still not getting WGN America in HD...
-- Match #1 -- Smackdown Singles match -- Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio vs Shelton Benjamin -- Non Title(?) Grisham and Jr are already sitting with Morrison in full face mode, he shakes both Grisham and JR's hands.
Hornswoggle vs Big Show, TONIGHT!
Recap of the Jericho - Morrison finish with Benjamin on the Tron. "Gotcha!"
Morrison calls his kick "The Flying chuck" Okay. Benjamin starts tossing around Mysterio. Mysterio escapes a few holds and knocks Benjamin to the outside and his a hurricanrana from the apron to the outside. Back inside, Rey tried a slingshot from the top rope into something, but Benjamin catches him into back-breaker. Rey is wearing yellow on his left side, blue on his right/
JR: The man in the San Diego Charger Blue and Gold found himself *BOOM* in big trouble (during a replay of the back-breaker)
Me: It's more like L.A. Rams Blue and Yellow.
Benjamin starts working Mysterio over. Punches in the corner. Drapes him over the top rope and hits him with a knee. The Boo Birds start coming out while Mysterio is on the outside. Benjamin drags him back in for a quick one count. Rest hold. A....belly-to-back laying down bearhug? Mysterio elbows out but is whipped to the corner. Benjamin charges in and eats a droptoe hold into the 2nd buckle. Mysterio looks like he's going for a hurricanrana, blocked, so he starts punching and then gets it, but Benjamin rolls through and pushes Mysterio off who immediately pops up and hits Benjamin with a kick to the side of the head and goes for a pin. 2 count. Kick to Benjamin's side sends him into 619 position. Mysterio goes for it, but Benjamin was playing possum and counters with a knee to the midsection as Mysterio spins around with the 619 attempt. Rey is knocked outside into a commercial break,
Ad for movies on WGN America Quiznos and the talking oven Dish wants me to switch My Bloody Valentine DVD Jeff Hardy vs Edge Judgment Day promo
Benjamin is working Mysterio in some sort of Ab stretch that involves grabbing one of Mysterio's legs. Mysterio elbows out and heads to the ropes. Benjamin tossing Mysterio into the air and he belly-flops from about 6 feet up or so. Benjamin gets a 2 count. A submission type move from Bengamin. Chinlock w/ his legs wrapped around Mysterio's torso. Mysterio double-axe-handles his way out. Stiff kick to Benjamin's midsection. Off the ropes and Benjamin catches him with a knee to the midsection. He grabs Mysterio's right arm and starts kicking his side. Short whip into a knee to Mysterio's midsection. 2 count. Benjamin with another weird ab stretch that is almost like a double underhook overhead nelson type thing. Mysterio gets out and almost lost his mask. Forearms to Mysterio's back. Whip to the corner. Mysterio up with 2 feet to the head. Up on the top buckle and gets crotched into a Tree of Woe. Mysterio pulls up and the spear misses and Benjamin eats the post!
Slowly off the top turnbuckle into his sit on your chest thing. Off the ropes, Benjamin's clothesline misses, Mysterio leaps from the middle rope into a flying cross body for 2. Mysterio off the ropes into that "dives face down my crotch into your belly" hold but Benjamin catches him for a nice overhead belly to back. 2 count. Shove into the corner. Mysterio gives some back elbows. The recap of the belly to back is missing a middle rope moonsault that Benjamin catches that Mysterio turns into a tornado DDT. Both wobbly. Mysterio with a front Jeff Hardy-esque dropkick which sets up the 619 on the far ropes. IT LANDS! The springboard from the outside! 1, 2, 3! (About 14 mins, about 10 shown)
Mysterio limps to the ramp and he may of hurt his groin, the way he is grabbing it. He does give 2 fans his elbow pads.
Benjamin and Morrison have a stare down. Morrison leaves the table. Benjamin swings, blocked and eats a big right! Hit Morrison's music!
Morrison raises his right arm as he heads up the ramp.
TALE OF THE TAPE Hornswoggle Big Show 129 lbs. WEIGHT 485 lbs. 4'4" HEIGHT 7'0" 29" REACH 84" 12" NECK 24" 9" BICEPS 21" 5" FIST 15" 29" CHEST 67" 14" THEIGH 37" 5 1/2 SHOE SIZE 18 6E Tadpole Splash SIGNATURE MOVE Chokeslam, Knockout Punch Cruiserweight ACCOMPLISHMENTS WWE Champion Champion World Heavyweight Champion ECW Champion
Mark Henry is warming up! He's facing the ECW Champ, NEXT!
WWE Kids mag. Get free stuff from WGN America's site Absolute Poker ad. One of the chicks puts a card in her mouth, so the dudes lays down trip aces!? With 2 in the pocket? With that huge pot?! Fold good hands, win a trip to the Playboy mansion? No. Madden sells Tinactin Ozzy plays WoW (An ad with subtitles?) AutoZone Schick The Burger Kingons (Too bad Klingons weren't in the movie...) Baseball on WGN America
Batista (WITH HAIR!) video package.
-- Match #2 -- ECW Singles Match -- Mark Henry w/ Tony Atlas vs. ECW Champion Christian -- Non title(?)
Striker and Mathews announcing. Lockup. Christian thrown and almost get stomped on. Lockup, Christian with a standing switch. Henry backs him into a corner and gives a back elbow. Out of the corner, a forearm to the back. Kick to the guts, stomp the chest. Christian is up into the corner. Henry whips him across to the other corner. Christian staggers out to the middle of the ring, so Henry whips him to the corner he just left and hits so hard that he falls to the mat. Kick to the gut. Boot on Christians head. Christian is up and eats a HUGE right hand. Up again, whip, Henry misses a clothesline, off the other ropes, Henry misses a back elbow, off the ropes again, and Christian eats a big boot the midsection, and a kick to the face as he folded over. Christian rolls to the outside. Henry is dominating, as Christian hasn't hit one offensive move yet. Christian takes a breather outside and Henry goes after him, but Christian quickly heads back in the ring. Henry grabs for the top rope to help him up on the apron and eats a dropkick and commercial break.
Bob & Tom show ad. I guess all the fake laughter at the end of the ad is supposed to mean it's REALLY funny? Quiznos, again Ford 1948 F-1 Pickup die cast collectors item ad My Bloody Valentine (again).
Christian was in a head-vice thing but kicks out just as we come back from break, but Henry gives him a stomp for good measure. During the break: Christian ate a strike to the head on the outside, then Henry has him in a Military press and actually tosses Christian high enough to catch his neck on the top rope, and then catch Christian again on the way down, and he then rams Christian into the apron.
And we're back. Both up. Christian mounting a comeback. Right, right, right, right. Turns to the ropes and charges in and eats a clothesline. Henry laughs. Goes for a cover. 2 count. Christian is up in the corner. Christian gives 3 left leg kicks to Henry's gut. Leap up to and off the middle buckle but Henry catches him. BEARHUG. Atlas is SCREAMING that Henry start shaking him, but he doesn't listen. Christian is starting to break it so Henry picks him up and slams him into the turnbuckle. Christian collapses. Another 2 count. Henry argues the count. Stand on the chest. Ref counted to 2. In the corner. Henry with shoulder ram into Christian. Henry walks to the middle of the ring then charges but Christian gets out of the way and he eats turnbuckle. 3 rights from Christian. Into the ropes and a clothesline. And again, but Henry won't go down. Henry whips Christian to the corner and charges, but Christian gets his feet up and into Henry's face. Drop kick from the middle buckle. Henry staggers. Christian climbs up to the top buckle. That dropkick finally levels Henry. Christian for the cover and Henry throws Christian off for a 2 count. Henry is getting up. Christian is stalking and gets behind and goes for the Killswitch. He can't turn him. Forearm to the back. Off the ropes, but Henry just levels him with a clothesline. Christian almost flipped and landed on his head. Henry with the cover, 2 count. Henry gets him off the mat and into a military press, but Christian wriggles out and heads to the corner. Henry comes it and eats a boot to the face. christian hops up and sits on the top buckle. It looks like he was going for a tornado DDT but Henry just picked him off the buckle and rams him back into it. Henry backs up to the middle of the ring. I think this is where Christian mounts his comeback. Yup. Boot the gut from Christian. Right hand. Hop up to the middle buckle. SUNSET FLIP ATTEMPT! Henry leaps up to sit on Christian, but he rolled away. Christian again from the middle buckle. Flying cross body to the sitting Henry. Got more head than torso. Cover! 1, 2, 3! (About 9 mins, about 5 shown.)
Christian gout out of the ring quick and the ref hands him the belt.
Hornswoggle vs Big Show, TONIGHT!
Commercials Scrubs on WGN America Geico Lizard Juicy Fruit Pro Caulk, because caulking is hard and messy....Riiiiight. "free" credit report scam site ad.
WWE tells us they can be seen in more homes worldwide than the NBA, MLB and NFL combined.
-- Raw Rebound. Recap of Orton vs Batista.
Cole and King ogo over Judgment Day
Big Show is shadow boxing. Hornswoggle is pacing. It is next! Ads are NOW!
Around the world promo My Bloody Valentine, for the 3rd time. DON'T LAY DOWN POCKET ACES WITH A 3RD ON THE TABLE! I don't care if she licks that card. 5-hour energy drink Schick guy shaves his head for the 2nd time Autozone again Quiznos for the 3rd time. Ad for Superstars, in case you forget when it's on. Wrestlemania 25 DVD ad
-- Match #3 -- Raw Exhibition Match -- The Big Show vs Hornswoggle
The King and Cole are announcing. Backlash Edge vs Cena with Show's chokeslam recap before Hornswoggle comes out. Video package on Show.
Hornswoggle slowly comes to the ring. He looks scared. He doesn't want to get into the ring and slowly walks up the steps. 7 to the hour when the bell rings. He is finally in. We do have a ref. Is that Doan? Hornswoggle chant as he stays in the corner. Show wants to tie up. Hornswoggle finally slowly walks to the center of the ring to meet Show. 6 to the hour. They're face to face and Hornswoggle is just about up to Show's nipples, if that. Stare down (or up, if you're Hornswoggle). Deep breath by show. More staring. 5 to the hour. Show grabs Hornswoggle's jacket collar. Hornswoggle SHAKES HIS HEAD! Show has him up. Bodyslam? No! Military press! He walks to the ropes
King: No, no! He's going to throw him! Cole: Don't do that! (Sternly, like he's admonishing a puppy about to pee on the rug.)
He acts like he's going to toss him on the other side of the ring. He then puts him on the top turnbuckle, left hand still on the collar. Show points at Hornswoggle with Show's right hand.
Show: Hold on, hold on. Watch this.
Show lays down.
Show: Come on! 4 to the hour
Show wants him to leap from the buckle. He's goes for it and Show rolls out of the way. Boo birds are out again. Show lifts him up by his neck and props him up on another buckle. Hornswoggle recoils, expecting to get hit. Show does ball up his fist.
GOLDUST's music hits! He's running in for the save! He ducks a clothesline. Right hand by Goldust. Ring that bell! (3 mins of "action", 4 to the hour). Right, body blow, again. Show shoves him to the mat. Hornswoggle is outside watching now. Show reaches down for Goldust but gets slapped. He heads for show but gets kicked in the breakbasket. Forearm to Goldust's back. He staggers into the corner. Show grabs him. Chokeslam!!! Show stands there for a bit. Turns Goldust over. Camel clutch? Sorta? He lets go. Show leaves the ring and up the ramp to boos. Honrswoggle checks on Goldust as Show's music hits. Recap of the failed save. Honrnswoggle still in the ring with a hurting Goldust.
Jeff Hardy vs Edge Judgment day promo, again...and my DVR stopped it there.
Total match time, about 26 mins, plus the 4 of Show squashing Goldust for about 30 mins.
-- 2006 Time magazine Person of the Year --
"I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office." George W. Bush - June 26, 2008, during a Rose Garden news briefing.