In tonight's main event, Divas Champion BETH PHOENIX - remember her? - takes on KELLY KELLY! Watch out, because this one MAY shatter the FIVE MINUTE MARK ALSO TONIGHT: JUSTIN GABRIEL takes on not Heath Slater but HUNICO! He's accompanied by CAMACHO and a custom low-rider bike. R-TRUTH and KOFI KINGSTON team once again and meet CURT HAWKINS & TYLER REKS! All this PLUS: highlights - well, we *say* "highlights" - of RAW's Rock and rap concerts!
Shit! Am I getting old or is this industry screwed up? This is, let me see, the 5th or 6th or 7th wrestler that I used to mark out for who has died on us. Guys take out your old tapes and let's us play who is still alive, shall we?