WWE SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT WORKRATE REPORT – April 11, 2004
This was looking like it was going to be really outdated and then I remembered that this week’s Heat was a Heat before a PPV so I can ignore that (well, I will probably toss the Hardy/Venis match onto my Velocity report.). Heat really really is my on-again, off-again girlfriend. This has to be like the 5th time we have gotten back together.
What Worked Schneider rightly pointed out, in trolling me out to write this report, that I am probably the only person who has ever like Stevie Richards (well outside the creepy Ray & Peter markdom that extended well beyond the borders of human decency). I still like that Richards/Sabu match and he wasn’t afraid to carry the three way from Barely Legal. Now, along with Val Venis, he makes Heat a far more entertaining show than Raw could ever dream off. Hurricane is still stuck in a horribly ridiculous gimmick but what can you do. This was a fun match that even got enough time for them to start going all New Japan and kick out of a bunch of stuff. It was also weird for them to fake a ref bump but I think that was part of its charm. Its the freaking opening match on the Sunday show that no one watches are they are running a match like they are headline a TNA PPV. Nothing perfect or anything but I enjoyed it.
God, why the fuck Val Venis is stuck working Heat? Rerun that match with Orton on Raw to continue to get Orton over. Shit, I so love watching Venis matches now. The match against Garrison Cade was a nifty little affair that also got a big batch of time. Shit, everything might not be great but at least guys on this show have some semblance of time to put together a coherent match. I loved the battle over the vertical suplex. When the hell do you see that anymore? The headknockin’ spot is becoming a staple of V-Squared matches but it didn’t look as good as it has in the past. Cade was great in the role of youngster disrespecting the veteran. The DDT as finisher was a little disappointing in that he either needs to do a better looking DDT or switch to like the neckbreaker or backbreaker or something.
What Didn’t Work Good gravy are Coach and Al Snow bad. It’s really painful to listen to a full show of them. They even manage to taint parts of the show that I like. Like sadly, I was really amused by the Venis T-Bag line (I am a simple, pathetic human being). And Coach started over laughing at the joke like he was Tommy Davidson at a Dick Gregory roast.
Rosey still has his shitty ass gimmick but I don’t care enough about him to get worked up about it. He sure has those sneakers that says guy with the pronounced limp that chases down the loose shopping carts in the Super Fresh parking lot. I am thinking that Rosey is still trying to figure out why he didn’t fail a drug test too so he could be headlining cards in Japan.
I love Eddie Guerrero and all but that YJ Stinger commercial is painful. It is just another thing on TV nowadays that screams out to me “produced by an AU grad”. “I know! Is phony major. Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing!”
There was an enormous portion of the show dedicated to the shitty Benjamin/HHH rematch and then the beatdown. Sadly, I can watch Raw live so I didn’t need to relive this.
Author’s Note: Big things coming for fans of the Satire next week. Stay tuned. Last Night: Triple H won the Elimidate Chamber because he told Shawn Michaels how pretty he was. Maven and Shelton Benjamin had the longest and best match of all time.