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The W - Pro Wrestling - WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 8/8/2002!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1201 days
Last activity: 1198 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85



I`ve been drunker than this. I don`t remember when, but that`s the beauty of getting motherfucking stinking drunk. You get home after celebrating [mul]DOOMSTONE turning 29 by going out and get fucked allll the way up and you come home to an empty house because the only woman you could ever love is with your beautiful children at your mother`s house, so you are out getting all kinds of fucked up with Steve and Ryan at the corner bar after drinking all the Josef Hoffbauer that you can buy for $4.99 a 12. Then you get home and you play HAIR OF THE DOG by Nazareth four times in succession because it motherfucking rules and reminds you of the times you were fucking and fighting and being all the way motherfucking king-sized in your life and you are happy to be too old and too drunk. Me -n- Steve watched the first hour of Smackdown before the drinking of the evening began- a show that has just fucking ruled the goddam world the last couple of Benoit-drenched weeks and tonite is no different. Ryan calls and says he`s in for a nite of drunken drunkeness. Narareth sez: hot momma- velvet charmer- time for you to pay your dues. And then it goes for that sweetest bending of the fifth string you could ever think of and if anybody wants to argue, I`ve got big ole dick 4 U 2 suck til it`s red -n- raw and you wanna fuck and fight and celebrate being a motherfucking American TODAY loving every minute of being alive. Either way, here we go.

WHAT WORKED-
- I`m drunk enough to admit that I was gay if I actually were and I can honestly say I am not. But if I was EVER going to blow a load over a guy thing, it would be over the prospect of Benoit and Angle battling it out for King of Submission. FUCK THE POLICE, Kurt Angle is a motherfucking Wrestling GOD. You should sit there and watch him carry Green as Grass John Cena to the first match of the night. When you hear internet midnight choking dipshits talking about carrying folks to a good match, what you need to do is watch Kurt Angle carry Cena to the first match of Smackdown. That was Flair like a motherfucker. Fuck on a Crutch, Smackdown lets me contemplate if Angle is actlually better than Benoit. Do you understand how great of a question that is for a TRUE WRESTLING FAN LIKE MYSELF/YOURSELF TO ASK? Goddam, think about it. They can`t ask that kind of question in Japan unless Lyger is having a particularly great year. The ending sets up the BENOIT/EDDY/ANGLE match and what the fuck else could YOU the REAL WRESTLING FAN ask for? I can`t think of anything. And you KNOW what a dick I am. Jesus, this rules. Benoit is GOD. Eddy is GOD. Angle is GOD.

- Bautista leans into the Superkick like a MAN and Rikishi works his big fucking big fat ole ass off to make this work despite the HIDEOUS punches of the otherwise perfectly fine Bautista. Rikishi is king-sized in this, making Bautista`s offense look hurty and shit- especially by selling the clothesline like a true king.

- Noble sez: ``Git her, Nidia! Git her.`` I am spent with wrestling love.

- Hey! It`s Shannon Moore and Shane Helms! Go read the road reports of when I would drive 8 hours oto see them in North Carolina with the Hardy boys in OMEGA back inna day. Imnagine my delight now. Anyway, fuck the bullshit, Billy is a really good heel now. And I`m not even talking about his sweet sweet male ass at this juncture. You know who is fucking GREAT? Chuck. Look at his selling to make a man ONE HUNDRED POUNDS lighter than he look fucking great. This match was fucking great. Hurricane makes Billy`s punches look fucking great. Shannon is the best Robert Gibson of the week. Fabulous match. Add that to the Rico bump, the Helms tope and the beautifuol finish and all i gots to say is wotta beautiful wad of the Professional Wrestling.

- Edge and Cena and Misterio against Benoit and Eddy and Angle is soooooooooooooo fucking great. Do you realize how rewarding it is to have to think to yourself- WHO IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD- EDDY, BENOIT OR ANGLE? That is what your television wrestling should have going for it. That`s what this match has going for it. Benoit is SOOOOO GOD FUCKING GOD GOD in this. When he crushes Misterio with an axe-handle, I hope that a part of you is SPENT. When Eddy RUDOS like an absolute motherfucker for Rey and Cena, I hope you realize that nobody else on EARTH- EARTH- Earth being Mexico/Japan/Puerto Rico- is as good as the absolute motherfucker that is the motherfucking GREAT Eddy Guerrerro. Cena has to get mad phat props for being able to sell years beyond his actual experience as he is a great Ricky Morton in this. The finish and the overall work of Angle makes me think of him as a top worker in the world. Eddy`s Brainbuster is superfabulous. This whole match was textbook classic. That`s how you get the youngsters over. Beautiful.

- Nidia and Noble are the only people on earth who can make a mixed tagteam work. Torrie and Kidman are kinda thrown together. Nidia and Noble actually work together like good Southern folk would together and THUS only add to their awesomeness. YEAH! KICK EM IN THE HEAD WHEN THE YANKEE MOTHERFUCKER WANTS TO SPANK HER HER DIVINE SOUTHERN ASS! Nidia cheats to win and that`s the way it would be on the street, motherfucker! Fuck yeah.

- Hogan vs Lesnar was sooooooooo Memphis in it`s gigantic psychology that I had to love it. Lesnar sells Hogan`s astoundingly shitty punches like a KING. Lesnar further makes me adore him by completely bumping like a possessed freak for Hogan. Lesnar is fun with the glee in which he crushes Hogan`s groin. They edit the fuck out of Lesnar`s Brian Lee-esque elbow drops. Hogan`s comeback is implausible but the Lesnar cutoff with the Powerbomb was kingsized. The ending was as contrived as it needed to be I guessp- but I liked how they got to the finish with all the counters to the tried and true spots and how Hogan put over the youngster. Smackdown rules it.

WHAT DIDN`T WORK-

- The opening has a big Ode To Hulk Hogan. C`mon, he sucked dick compared to Ric Flair in the 80s. Ric showed you how to keep your bitches in line and be a semen-filled man of the day. Hogan showed you how oil up for your boyfriend. There is no way you can make Hogan cool in comparison. Hogan sucked. Flair was an actual role-model.

- Mark Henry I can`t love. D-Von is really good. We gotta fill out the bottom here even though this was perfectly fine wrestling.

- Stacy and Dawn Marie have an episode of BIG TITTY THEATRE and you fell asleep even faster than I did. If they ain`t showing avioli, you couldn`t give a shit either, right?

- Rey should have forfeited the match. The fucking pussy. WHAT ABOUT THE TRUTH? Fucking pussy...

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.



YES, I AM DEAN.



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evilwaldo
Lap cheong








Since: 7.2.02
From: New York, NY

Since last post: 3317 days
Last activity: 3098 days
AIM:  
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
HAIR OF THE DOG~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEST

ALBUM

EVER

Edit: That would make an awesome entrance theme.





(edited by evilwaldo on 9.8.02 0103)


These commercials are superfine because they pay for the production costs of putting CHRIS MOTHERFUCKING BENOIT on my GODDAMN TV SCREEN! I will GO GREYHOUND! I am thinking OUTSIDE THE BUN! – Dean Rasmussen 8/1/2002 Smackdown Workrate Report
FLRockAndLaw
Boerewors








Since: 2.1.02
From: Central Florida, somewhere between Orlando and Tampa, U.S.A.

Since last post: 92 days
Last activity: 3 days
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#3 Posted on

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN

    Fuck on a Crutch, Smackdown lets me contemplate if Angle is actlually better than Benoit.



Yes, Dean. Yes, he is. :-D

BTW, great fucking Smackdown Workrate Report this week!



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Mr. Broslofski: Now you go brush your teeth, and march into bed. You won't be opening your Hannukuh present tonight.
Kyle: Probably just another stupid dreidel anyway.
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Chumpstain
Kolbasz








Since: 21.1.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 44 days
Last activity: 12 hours
#4 Posted on
Oh Dean, gotta tell you since this is the sort of thing you'd love.. last year before his injury, Benoit actually did fight Angle over who was the King of Submissions. They had a pay per view match at Backlash, I think it was, contested in Ultimate Submission rules. It went like an iron man match for 30 minutes, with only submissions counting. Definitely worth checking out, if you haven't yet. For all I know you might have already. ;)
The Psycho Pirate
Chorizo








Since: 31.3.02
From: Earth-Three

Since last post: 4236 days
Last activity: 3963 days
#5 Posted on

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN

    Stacy and Dawn Marie have an episode of BIG TITTY THEATRE and you fell asleep even faster than I did. If they ain`t showing avioli, you couldn`t give a shit either, right?



Did Stacy get new hoots and I didn't notice? Isn't she still the darling of the IWC because she doesn't have giant fake balloons?



You're all so WONDERFUL. Why did they ever have to remove you from the continuity? You'd have made for MARVELOUS stories. You WILL make marvelous stories. And the FIRST story of the new world will be a story of REVENGE! -- The Psycho Pirate, Animal Man 23, May 1990.
DrOp
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 2144 days
Last activity: 1011 days
#6 Posted on

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN



    Fuck on a Crutch, Smackdown lets me contemplate if Angle is actlually better than Benoit. Do you understand how great of a question that is for a TRUE WRESTLING FAN LIKE MYSELF/YOURSELF TO ASK? Goddam, think about it. They can`t ask that kind of question in Japan unless Lyger is having a particularly great year. The ending sets up the BENOIT/EDDY/ANGLE match and what the fuck else could YOU the REAL WRESTLING FAN ask for? I can`t think of anything. And you KNOW what a dick I am. Jesus, this rules. Benoit is GOD. Eddy is GOD. Angle is GOD.

    Do you realize how rewarding it is to have to think to yourself- WHO IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD- EDDY, BENOIT OR ANGLE? That is what your television wrestling should have going for it. THERE YOU HAVE IT.

    DEAN RASMUSSEN.



Man, I salivate at the thought of them secretly having contests where each of them wrestles the same guy to see who can pull the best match of of him. I DO!!



Your Suffering Will Be Legendary, Even in Hell!!

...And Marking Out
Slashwrestling.com
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1201 days
Last activity: 1198 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85

    Originally posted by DrOp

      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN



      Fuck on a Crutch, Smackdown lets me contemplate if Angle is actlually better than Benoit. Do you understand how great of a question that is for a TRUE WRESTLING FAN LIKE MYSELF/YOURSELF TO ASK? Goddam, think about it. They can`t ask that kind of question in Japan unless Lyger is having a particularly great year. The ending sets up the BENOIT/EDDY/ANGLE match and what the fuck else could YOU the REAL WRESTLING FAN ask for? I can`t think of anything. And you KNOW what a dick I am. Jesus, this rules. Benoit is GOD. Eddy is GOD. Angle is GOD.

      Do you realize how rewarding it is to have to think to yourself- WHO IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD- EDDY, BENOIT OR ANGLE? That is what your television wrestling should have going for it. THERE YOU HAVE IT.

      DEAN RASMUSSEN.



    Man, I salivate at the thought of them secretly having contests where each of them wrestles the same guy to see who can pull the best match of of him. I DO!!




DR: I was thinking the same thing during the Cena/ Angle match- could Benoit and eddy carry Cena any better than Angle did? "Eddy? Maybe. Benoit? I would think.... Benoit would be more fun because he beat the living fudge out of him.... but Eddy is just as intense as Benoit these days..." It was a fun discussion that should become a funner reality, I would think.

DEAN.




YES, I AM DEAN.



Teppan-Yaki
Pepperoni








Since: 28.6.02

Since last post: 847 days
Last activity: 817 days
#8 Posted on
I just wanted to make mention of Phil's Raw report, which is a *complete* 180 due to the loss of Chris and Eddy. Poor Phil.

Oh, and another *excellent* report there, Dean-o.
Doc_whiskey
Frankfurter








Since: 6.8.02
From: St. Louis

Since last post: 309 days
Last activity: 253 days
AIM:  
#9 Posted on
*sigh* I wish Dean would get drunk every week. I think the question of Benoit/Angle is an interesting one, I remember back a couple years ago when they fought at Wrestlemania and the couple PPVs afterwards, their matches were always great, and this time around Angle has more experience. Its hard to imagine them putting on a better match then last time, but I have a feeling they can. Eddie has been the unsung hero of the WWE lately, and it will be cool if they reward him with a match with one or both of the aforementioned individuals.
Axl Stradlin
Weisswurst








Since: 6.8.02
From: Lexington, Kentucky

Since last post: 4349 days
Last activity: 4314 days
AIM:  
#10 Posted on
*LOL*

"Fuck on a crutch" is my new favorite saying. And, sorry guys, Nazareth is great, but the greatest RAWK album ever would have to be the venerable "Appetite for Destruction", by our Lords and Saviors Guns N' FUCKING Roses.

But I guess my nick gives away my opinion on this one
That is all.



"If I was any more rock, I'd be made of cement."
PhilRippa
Chourico








Since: 4.1.02
From: Fairfax, VA

Since last post: 1863 days
Last activity: 468 days
#11 Posted on

    Originally posted by Teppan-Yaki
    I just wanted to make mention of Phil's Raw report, which is a *complete* 180 due to the loss of Chris and Eddy. Poor Phil.

    Oh, and another *excellent* report there, Dean-o.



PR: Don't cry Argentina for Phil (or something along those lines).

It was karma smacking him in the head as he constantly dogged Dean for all the wrestlers he had on Raw.

I guess it is fitting that it was his idea to bring back the workrate reports and he is now stuck with the worst show of the lot.

Phil



Hate World, Revenge Soon
DVDVR.com
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1201 days
Last activity: 1198 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by PhilRippa

      Originally posted by Teppan-Yaki
      I just wanted to make mention of Phil's Raw report, which is a *complete* 180 due to the loss of Chris and Eddy. Poor Phil.

      Oh, and another *excellent* report there, Dean-o.



    PR: Don't cry Argentina for Phil (or something along those lines).

    It was karma smacking him in the head as he constantly dogged Dean for all the wrestlers he had on Raw.

    I guess it is fitting that it was his idea to bring back the workrate reports and he is now stuck with the worst show of the lot.

    Phil



DR: It looks like Tom K gets the high hanging fastball of a wrestling show every week to review. Mine is too good and Phil's show sucks shit- Tom's show is just right.

DEAN.

(edited by DEAN RASMUSSEN on 9.8.02 1620)


YES, I AM DEAN.



BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 12 hours
#13 Posted on

    . Mine is too good and Phil's show sucks shit-


Don't go there girl freind. Raw may have taken a big shot to the groin when we lost Eddy and Benoit, but we still have the acrobatic glory of RVD and Jeff Hardy. Don't forget Booker T, shit it kind of drops from there. Man that sucks Raw used to be the *wrestling* show, but we still have Tommy mothafuckin Dreamer busting his ass for no reason, and you just wait DEAN Stevie Richards will rise again.

Damn, now that I really think about it the Raw roster has gotten really weak wrestling wise. They could at least toss us Edge.



tomk
Goetta








Since: 30.7.02

Since last post: 2591 days
Last activity: 942 days
#14 Posted on
Uh Dean. Prime Time Brian Lee is working a dark match fror TNA.
PRIME TIME BRIAN LEE!!!!

Yeah just right.

>
DR: It looks like Tom K gets the high hanging fastball of a wrestling show every week to review. Mine is too good and Phil's show sucks shit- Tom's show is just right.

DEAN.

(edited by DEAN RASMUSSEN on 9.8.02 1620)

DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1201 days
Last activity: 1198 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
When did he get outta jail? Did he learn how to wrestle in the joint, one could ask.

When does Miss Atlanta Lively show up?

DEAN.




YES, I AM DEAN.



CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネケポăƒȘă‚č

Since last post: 12 hours
Last activity: 11 hours
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#16 Posted on
Wow tomk posts here! Can crossposting the TNA Workrate reports be far behind? Can THE OTHER OTHER PHIL be farther behind?



©CRZ™
Visit [slash] wrestling
PhilRippa
Chourico








Since: 4.1.02
From: Fairfax, VA

Since last post: 1863 days
Last activity: 468 days
#17 Posted on

    Originally posted by CRZ
    Wow tomk posts here! Can crossposting the TNA Workrate reports be far behind? Can THE OTHER OTHER PHIL be farther behind?


PR: Chris you might want to close this thread before that happens.

I fear the misspelling of Benoit on multiple boards.

Phil



Hate World, Revenge Soon
DVDVR.com
tomk
Goetta








Since: 30.7.02

Since last post: 2591 days
Last activity: 942 days
#18 Posted on
misspellings?

I've had to delete and repost every workrate report after the third. I consistently either misspell workrate or report on the first try.

I have no idea how Dean can write drunk without once referring to Buff Bagwell as the Winsome Stranger.

DrOp
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 2144 days
Last activity: 1011 days
#19 Posted on
He's just THAT manly, I guess. ;)



Your Suffering Will Be Legendary, Even in Hell!!

...And Marking Out
Slashwrestling.com
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