Smackdown from London this week opened with Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart, in what was a surprisingly brief segment that served only to plug Legends House on the WWE Network, which is something not actually available in the UK right now. The segment fell flat, and I was expecting someone to interrupt him at the end, but no one did. So. Yeah.
Dolph Ziggler challenged Batista to a rematch from last week's show, this one a no-disqualification match. Ziggler took it to Batista, laying into him with a chair and dropkicking him over the announce table (where he took Michael Cole out of the match for a couple of minutes, while JBL happily disparaged Cole and called him a wuss). Batista went for the Batista Bomb on the outside onto the ring steps, but Ziggler blocked it with a low blow. He then went for a Fameasser off the apron onto the same steps, but Batista dodged, sending Ziggler crashing into the steps. Batista finished Ziggler off with a spear, then hit a Batista Bomb after the match for good measure.
The Funkadactyls defeated Eva Marie and Nikki Bella, with Summer Rae as the guest referee. Summer Rae was better than Eva Marie at guest refereeing, sort of, in that her missed counts were at least intentional. Summer refused to count for Eva and Nikki, and gave a fast count once a Funkadactyl (in this case, Cameron) got a pin on Eva.
Bo Dallas made his debut against Sin Cara, celebrating like a madman after hitting his first offensive maneuver, an armdrag. Sin Cara rallied, but Bo dodged the Swanton, hit a nasty clothesline, and followed with a Tornado Bodog for the win. After doing a victory lap, Bo got back into the ring to help Sin Cara up and tell him he had a great future ahead of him, and someday if he Bolieves he might become like Bo.
Bray Wyatt cut an in-ring promo, saying that people live in a bubble and are kept safe from the problems the world has, that people like John Cena make the bubble persist to hide reality. Wyatt said that by destroying the Cenation in the Last Man Standing match, he would prove that he was eternal, and he finished off by speaking in tongues, before singing his song to end.
Sheamus faced Alberto Del Rio, with Cesaro and Heyman doing commentary. Cesaro did commentary in every language except English, to Michael Cole's annoyance, though JBL was happy to speak German with Cesaro. Cesaro's attempt at interference was cut off by Sheamus, but that just made him all the more determined, leading Cesaro to pull Sheamus out of the ring, throw him into the ringsteps, then hit the Neutralizer on the floor. The match ended in DQ, but Cesaro made up for his poor manners on Raw by shaking the hand of the fallen Sheamus.
Vickie Guerrero introduced Adam Rose and the Exotic Express (including Zack Ryder as The Bunny, if the JBL and Cole Show is to be believed). Vickie claimed to be a party animal, but the crowd thought she was a lemon, leading her to throw a tantrum. Rose's attempt to offer her his used lollipop led her to slip off the apron, and she promptly was bodysurfed around by the Express. So when's he going to wrestle a match?
The main event had the Usos versus Harper and Rowan, with Cena and Bray Wyatt. Cena and the Usos had a backstage promo before the match, where Cena spoke complete nonsense, then said he was just acting like Bray Wyatt and claiming that actions would always speak louder than words. In the match itself, Jimmy Uso's throat was dropped hard against the second rope, letting the Wyatts dominate. A Whisper in the Wind let him make the tag, and Jey ran wild, before Bray Wyatt himself interfered and shoved him off the top rope for the DQ. Cena hit the ring and hit the AA on Rowan, then dared Bray to get into the ring to fight him, but Bray would have none of that. Wyatt departed, and the show came to a close.
Things I'd love to hear about: 1. The road rage incident 2. The carpet guy incident 3. The night Bagwell broke his neck 4. carelessly stiffing jobbers and mid-carders 5. the feud with Bill Watts 6. Big Poppa Pump vs. Superstar Billy Graham 7.