No overarching main event storyline this week, as we just had a straightforward main event match, a ten man tag with the Rhodes Brothers, the Usos and Big E Langston against the New Age Outlaws and the Shield. The Shield did get a backstage promo earlier in the show where they promised to dominate the Royal Rumble, though Roman Reigns said that he specifically would win it, with neither Rollins nor Ambrose seeming to take much issue with that statement. After the expected cavalcade of finishers, including the return of Road Dogg's pumphandle slam, Goldust went for a rollup on Road Dogg but it was broken up by the entire Shield, leading to a DQ. The locker room emptied for a brawl, capped off by CM Punk, though nobody actually got thrown out over the top rope during said brawl, the show instead ending with it raging on.
In other matches, the Border-Hopping Bullies (Big Show and Rey Mysterio, so named by Zeb Colter) defeated the Real Americans via KO punch into big splash on Cesaro. After the match Paul Heyman promised that Brock Lesnar would dominate and subjugate Big Show at the Rumble. The Miz defeated Brodus Clay via kneeling DDT in a match heckled by Bad News Barrett from his podium, who dubbed the match the worst match of the year and heckled both competitors, though it was the heckling distracting Brodus that let Miz get the win. AJ defeated Cameron via Shining Wizard. Naomi attacked after the match and landed a Bubba Bomb on AJ. The Rybaxel beat Los Matadores with an Axel rollup on a Matadore. El Torito took down both The Ryback and Axel afterwards, leaving The Ryback quivering in rage. Kofi Kingston defeated Fandango with the Trouble in Paradise, as Emma was shown in the crowd once more (attracting Summer Rae's attention briefly).
Luke Harper and Erick Rowan defeated the Prime Time Players very quickly via a Rowan corner splash into a Harper 360 clothesline on Darren Young. Wyatt hit Sister Abigail on Young after the match, then promised to beat Daniel Bryan at the Rumble, hurt him, and change the world. Bryan came out to offer counterpoint, saying that at the Rumble Bryan wouldn't be trapped in Wyatt's madness, but rather Wyatt would be trapped in Bryan's, and he'd show him who the real monster was. Wyatt's off-mic response was "I live for this!"
In the middle of the show, CM Punk did an in-ring promo blasting the Authority, saying that they might be putting him at #1 to ensure he wouldn't win, but winning a Rumble was one of the few things he hadn't done in his career, so he'd throw out 29 other people to ensure he could do just that. Kane appeared to give Punk's statistical chances of winning the rumble (a lot of 0s after a decimal point). Punk said Kane had handed in his manhood along with his mask, and that he'd still win because he's been the best since day one.
I felt sorry for poor Albert. THAT would be more painful than a Ganso Bomb and a Burning Hammer. Off the apron. Through a barbwire board. And florescent lights. And it explodes when it hits it. ... maybe. ;)