We should formulate a wrestling drinking game. Everytime something happens, you take a drink. For example, everytime we see cheating you take a drink. Everytime the King says puppies, everytime Austin stuns somebody and on and on.
I'm not all that creative, so I'll let you guys go at it, just wanted to put that idea out there.
Here's one we came up with a couple summers ago for retro wrestling:
*Heenan and Monsoon are on commentary: 1 drink (as a tribute)
*Vince McMahon is on commentary: 2 drinks (to ease the pain)
*Wrestler has a manager/valet: 1 drink
*Face wrestler has a manager/valet: 3 drinks
*Wrestler has been inducted at WrestleCrap.com: 2 drinks
*Wrestler has not been inducted at WrestleCrap.com but should be: 3 drinks
*Monsoon refers to a "miscarriage of justice": 1 drink
*Monsoon rags on Joey Marella for not doing his job: 1 drink
*Vince gives an exaggerated "un-be-lievable": 1 drink
*Heenan/Monsoon argue: 1 drink
*A reference is made to Heenan's stooges/flunkies/workers: 1 drink
*Jesse Ventura calls a face for cheating but Monsoon dismisses it: 1 drink
*Heel cheats to win: 1 drink
*The Warlord appears: bathroom break
*Wrestler/manager miscommunication leads to loss: 2 drinks
*Title change: 3 drinks
*Jake Roberts appears: toast the room and empty your glass
*Announcers plug main event: 1 drink
*Announcers refer to each other's ring careers: 1 drink
*Someone hits a manager/valet: 1 drink
*Stereotype character appears: 2 drinks
*Monsoon uses big words to explain something simple (ie. external occipital pretuberence = back of head): 2 drinks
*Monsoon asks Heenan "will you stop" or "will you be serious": 1 drink
*Heenan uses a bullshit explanation to justify a heel's cheating: 1 drink
*Heenan or Monsoon want the other to leave: 2 drinks
OK, so that's mostly based on commentary, but let's be honest....the announcers were what made a good part of late 80s/early 90s wrestling. The number of drinks for each instance was decided more or less randomly, feel free to alter as desired.
When Kurt Angle appears on the screen.....take a shot of milk.
"When this bogus term alternative rock was being thrown at every '70s retro rehash folk group, we were challenging people to new sonic ideas. If some little snotty anarchist with an Apple Mac and an attitude thinks he invented dance music and the big rock group is coming into his territory, [that's] ridiculous." - Bono, 1997
Here's a few. Take a drink -When Micheal Cole declares a move "Vintage Undertaker" (which is quite often) -When JR calls Ivory a "spitfire" -When JR calls Victoria a "Jezebel" -When the GM is pissed at a wrestler and declares, "Your mystery opponent tonight is....The Big Show" and the wrestler and announcers act shocked. -When the GM has someone arrested or thrown out of the building. -When a wrestler utters these cliched words, "Oh, I'll fight you....but not tonight" -When the Taker's bike or another vehicle won't start when it's supposed to (3 drinks) -When the weight of the "unforgiving" steel steps are exaggerated, "Tazz those steps have to weigh 600 pounds!!"
*Wrestler gets crotched on the top rope (2) *Wrestler does a move that has a name that isn't English (2) *Austin drinks, you drink (On Smackdown!, this is converted to Undertaker rides, you drink) *A wrestler sells a single punch like a gunshot *A foreign object makes it's presence felt *Someone kicks out of a finisher (2) *Someone taps out (2) *Announcers discuss a certain wrestler's hometown (2)
*Should Ric Flair ever perform a move successfully from the top rope, take 6.
Kane celebrates the fact that there used to be days where you couldn't electricute mens' genitalia during prime time.
-An announcer emphasizes the word "steel." -An announcer exaggerates the distance someone fell or the height of any object. - A wrestler says "I don't want to wrestle, I want to fight!" Or any variation thereof. -Vince McMahon or Eric Bischoff says "You're fired!" -Someone blows a spot. (2) -JR says "scalded dog," "pet coon," "slobberknocker" or "old-fashioned barn-burner." -The King says "puppies." (I love to drink) -Anytime a close-up of Lillian Garcia is shown. (2) -A wrestler blades. (2) -Triple H drops the belt. (Finish your beer and shotgun two more) -A heel mocks the hosting city or state. (2 if it's Jericho) -Kane does his pyro (2 these days because he doesn't do it as much)
- Lawler says "Woo hoo! Puppies, JR!" : only 1/2 a drink (you'd be plastered otherwise by show-end) - The Dudley Boyz fail to `get the tables' despite advertising such: 1 drink - The Hurricane is backstage in a `hilarious' segment: 1 drink - See also Goldust: 1 drink - Test and Steiner go at it: 1 drink - HBK beats someone up: 1 drink - Bischoff changes the stipulation: 1 drink - Austin changes the stipulation: 1 drink - Bischoff changes the stipulation and then Austin changes it back: 2 drinks - Bischoff changes the stipulation and then Austin changes it back and then Bischoff changes it again: Oh, hell, go nuts at that point. - Some form of tag team match featuring a competitor from column (A) - Trish, Jackie, Ivory, Stacy; column (B) Hurricane, Goldust, Rosey, Steiner; column (c)Molly, Jazz, Gail Kim, Miss Jackie; and column (D) Steven Richards, Test, Rico, Rodney Mack: 1 drink (sorry, that's just TOO obvious) - Christian in a match without being advertised on wwe.com or even before the commercial break: 1 drink - JR gets flustered by La Resistance's actions: 2 drinks - Bischoff/Coach/Snow try to embarass JR: 2 drinks - A McMahon embarasses Bischoff: 3 drinks (just so you're guaranteed to be drunk every other week) - Kane does something hideous: 2 drinks - Kane does something that people actually BELIEVE is hideous: 14 drinks - RVD appearing in second hour: 5 drinks - Evolution segment: 1 drink (and no, not one for EACH Evolution segment) - Triple H wins a match: 1 drink - via the Pedigree: 2 drinks - and hits his opponent with a sledgehammer: 3 drinks - A non-wrestler is featured in a segment 1/2 a drink (see Lawler reference) - A non-wrestler wrestles: 1 drink - A non-wrestler wrestles in the main event: 2 drinks - Two non-wrestlers wrestle in the main event: 3 drinks
The first-ever ITR 500? An EXCLUSIVE interview with Torrie Watson? All this, plus, to be honest, not much else, in this week's JAM-PACKED Inside The Ropes!!!
*low-blow (2[one for each ball]) *your pick in a match hits a finisher (2) *your pick for a match wins (1) *the ref gets mushed good and propper (2) *some on interfeerz in a match (1 per person to intervine)
that should be enough to get you into a fair state, depending on the drinks u're drinking.
i mean come on, a few drinks is all well and good, but half of the people that posted to this topic would be dead of alcahol poisoning after the first hour of a show. and if not dead, at least poor, coz booze ain't that cheap.
Somewhere on my hard drive, I knew I had this little gem from the mid 90's RSP-W. I can't find it in google, though, and I didn't save the attributions. So, fire up your Coliseum exclusives and the tape with all the old WWF Wrestling Challenges on it, because it is the Gorilla Monsoon Drinking Game.
"That'll give you a negative attitude" "A great shot from our number (X) handheld" "That'll make you wish you were somewhere else!" "Ex-CUSE me!" "Ha-Ha. I love it!" "I'll have ya taken outta here in a second" "He resembles that remark" "What a fountain of misinformation!" "What a miscarriage of justice" "Goodnight, nurse" "Stick a fork in 'em, he's done!" "I'm glad I retired" "Literally...." "Stick a fork in him" "Forget about it" "You won't get (Wrestler) like that!" "You could count to a hundred!" "Jam packed to the rafters" "Cut the intensity with a knife" "I can't even hear myself think" "History will be made" "Kisser" "Bread-basket" "Noggen" "Close only counts in horse-shoes and hand grenades" "Intestinal fortitude"
Was it my imagination, or was every match except Angle/Misterio and Undertaker/Test a real return to old school wrestling? Benoit and Guerrero in particular looked like they had stolen a page from the Arn Anderson Playbook.