I'm just gonna predict the buying temperature of the crowd during the main event.
After Roman makes his appearance coming through the crowd with a team of guys dressed in fake SWAT gear escorting him to the ring ala Goldberg, Lesnar pushes Vince's lips of his ass and marches to the ring (with Heyman hauling the millions that Vince failed to give away during the live McMahon Millions sweepstakes on his back). Match goes underway.
Start of the match Reigns is getting the expected chants "you can't wrestle" "Reigns sucks" "Daniel Bryan" "Brocks gunna keel yooo!" and will be very raucous and animated after probably a pretty awesome ***Undertaker v. Wyatt match
10 minutes in Reigns is mainly either being ragdolled or laying on the mat while Lesnar does most of the heavy lifting. Crowd is still into the match cheering for Bork, also by this point the 23rd German Suplex has been delivered.
20 minutes in. Reigns has started to mount a comeback (much to the fans chagrin) it's mainly clotheslines and punches. Lesnar somehow turns a Superman Punch Maggle into an F-5. Reigns kicks out of course. One time of many. Suplex count up to 58.
25 minutes in Brock goes for a second F5. Kick out. Fans start chanting "bullshit" audibly and scatters of summoning Rollins start to appear from the children of California as they sense the inevitable worst timeline is here. Crowd starts equally getting creative with their jeering (I'm sure NXT will be shouted) and leaving the venue in small groups. 78 suplexes. A Suplex counter has been started at the bottom half of the screen.
28 minutes in Brock has delivered two more F5's which have been kicked out of. Brock starts to overact his disbelief at how tough the kid is and Heyman literally tears his face off in ringside being the hardest worker of the match that he is. In the production trucks the editing crew will be sweating bullets looking for creative ways to hide huge pockets of people leaving in dissapointment before the match ends.
30 minutes. Lesnar eats a 2nd spear and gets pinned. Crowd collectively shits all over this ending and as the new golden monkey smiles through the crowd's audible disdain and his entrance music cranked to 12 in an attempt to drown them out we hear the beating of double kick drums.
Rollins fresh off his squash by Orton brings the MITB case. Reigns gets attacked by J&J security, Big Show, Corporate Kane, Corporate Kane puts on his mask and attacks him again as Demon Kane, Stephanie yells at him, HHH hits like 5 Pedigrees on him, then a curbstomp. Roman kicks out. As Seth starts to freak out Orton comes out to distract everyone. Rollins is a dummy and loses sight of Reigns who rises from a gang beatdown to hit one more spear and officially shoot him down to midcard for the next year. What's left of the crowd explodes with hatred.
Fireworks. Roll credits. Roman shows derp face. End show. Tyler Durden somehow splices in a picture of Chris Benoit where the Suplex counter is so the count becomes inconclusive. Match: 9/10
***match subject to change due to actual wrestler not appearing.
(edited by CruelAngel777 on 24.3.15 1547) Cole: "Yeah, thanks to Kane. You should buy Kane a Rolex watch for what he did for you." Rollins: "Oh don't be silly, Kane doesn't wear watches."
0) Kidd/Cesaro vs. Usos vs. Los Matadores vs. New Day (4-way Tag Team Title Match) - Usos with the top rope splash to win in the home territory.
1) Rollins/Orton (Grudge Match) - Orton with RKO's on Rollins and J&J.
2) Bellas/Paige & AJ - Bellas via face miscommunication to the Rack Attack.
3) ARMBAR - Sheamus surprises and wins.
4) Sting/HHH - Sting after fighting the entire Authority and a sledgehammer to win with the bat shot and Scorpion Death Drop.
5) Cena/Rusev (US Title Match) - Cena wins title after STF makes Rusev pass out.
6) 7-Man Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Title - Bryan goes up ladder to get title...but Sheamus comes out and Brogue kicks Bryan.
7) Wyatt/Undertaker - If UT would have won last year, this would have been the year he would have lost. But, he will win with the Tombstone, and has just enough to go one more WM, then hang it up.
8) Lesnar/Reigns (WWE World Title Match) - Going many different ways with this, but this is how it goes...Heyman turns on Lesnar, Reigns with the Superman Punch and the Spear to win the title, with everyone thinking that Reigns and Heyman is together...then Rollins comes out and Heyman turns on Reigns, aligning with Rollins...curb stomp...wins title. That way, we have a triple threat with all involved, and all hatred going all different directions.
Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns, WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: Roman Reigns. They've been building to this for a year. If they bail at the last minute, that's just pathetic.
Triple H vs. Sting: Sting
The Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt: Bray Wyatt, setting up The Undertaker's new losing streak at Wrestlemania. 'Taker gets his redemption at next year's Wrestlemania when he wrestles his retirement match against John Cena in his home state.
Rusev vs. John Cena, United States Championship Match: As much as I want Rusev to go over here, as much as Rusev deserves to go over here, Cena has to win to set up next year's match against 'Taker.
Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton: Orton. Rollins doesn't need the win and already has an excuse to move on to bigger and better things.
Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns: I really can't decide what's more likely: Brock retaining or the double-turn with Reigns winning thanks to Heyman. It's one of the two, though. No way Reigns wins as a face. I'll go with Brock retaining. No Seth cash-in.
US and Intercontinental Title Matches: Cena and Bryan win the titles, to set up the two championships being the fill-in attractions when Brock is off TV. (I actually think Rusev retaining would be good for elevating the US title, but we're talking Cena at Wrestlemania here.)
Sting vs. Triple H: Sting, in a match that will be better than it has any right to be.
Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt: Wyatt. He has to. This could be match of the night if Taker can go.
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins: Orton already got his revenge, right? So, what's left to accomplish here? Sadly, though, I think Orton wins.
Bellas vs. Frenemies: Paige and AJ win, but fight over posing with Nikki's title. Match will be good. Storyline will continue to be dumb.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: This one's pretty tough. Here's how I see it ending: Sheamus is false eliminated somewhere near the end (ala Rusev in the Rumble), Mizdow tosses Miz, believing he won, then gets laid out and dumped by Sheamus. Sheamus wins. (Finn Balor will win the NXT spot in the match.)
Cesaro and Kidd retain in the pre-show.
(edited by SchippeWreck on 25.3.15 1139) Everything is awesome.
Originally posted by LexusTriple H vs. Sting: Triple H. He just hasn't lost at Mania in a while.
1-3 in his last four Wrestlemania matches. (And he shouldn't have beaten Brock for that one win. Stupid retirement stip!)
Yeah, in my mind, HHH is becoming the new Big Show as far as Wrestlemania goes: the man everyone says is unbeatable but loses far than he wins at the big event (at least recently).
-Lesnar vs. Reigns: Reigns wins. It's going to happen whether you like it or not, just accept it. I feel dirty and ashamed for saying that but it's the truth.
-Sting vs. HHH: See above. Plus it would be pointless to finally get Sting to come to WWE just to have him job in (I think) likely his only WM match. I hope it is a rather short match because 40-something HHH against 50-something Sting could get very ugly to watch if they go over 5 minutes.
-Taker vs. Wyatt: Taker. Why even have this? The streak doesn't matter anymore, UT hasn't been on TV one bit to promote the match, and I like Bray but I don't see these two combining to have a great wrestling match between them.
-Rusev vs. Cena: I'll go with Rusev via shenanigans. There has to be a heel victory at some point and this might as well be it. Keep Rusev undefeated (in the WWE's mind, anyway) so that he becomes one of Reigns' biggest threats to the title, outside of Rollins and maybe Lesnar.
-Rollins vs. Orton: Rollins thanks to interference from J&J security. And then maybe Rollins cashes in on the Reigns/ Lesnar main event? He has to use that money in the bank at some point before it expires. Though it would be funny to see an angle where he goes to cash it in on a random RAW only to find out the last day for him to use it would be the PPV the night before.
-Intercontinental Ladder match: Eh, I'll go with Ziggler but I could see Barrett winning it as well. I really see Bryan getting knocked out of the match early on just as a final FU from Vince to the fans. I really hope I'm wrong about that.
-Battle Royal: Sheamus returns to eliminate Big Show for the win. Miz/Mizdow implode (finally) and after getting the biggest cheers from the fans at WM, Mizdow gets buried and punished the next night on RAW, because WWE.
-AJ/Paige vs. Bellas: AJ and Paige win but then after one of them wins the title from Nikki the next RAW, part 1,000,000 of their feud commences. Meanwhile, Bayley, Charlotte, & Sasha Banks all continue to be kept away from the main roster (*weeps*).
-Lastly, fatal 4-way tag title match: The Usos win in a "the tag titles still exists?" match. The Usos get the crowd to say the stupidest chant ever ("U-SO!") while I continue weeping, this time for Cesaro and how awesome he was just one WM ago and how far he has fallen since.
WWE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Brock Lesnar (C) VS Roman Reigns Man, I was all set to be the guy going against the grain and saying that Brock was going to win when everyone else thought Reigns was a sure thing but then the news of his re-signing breaks and he becomes the favorite again. But, yeah, Brock Lesnar wins and holds the belt until at least Wrestlemania 32. I do see a Reigns heel turn coming sooner than later because they've got to see that he's just not clicking like they hoped and every top face I can think of for the last twenty years in the WWE has gotten over as a heel and turned face. (I also think that Rollins gets screwed here - he cashes in because, really, we're only three shows away from MITB and he's running out of chances with Brock's schedule and loses.)
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP LADDER MATCH Bad News Barrett (C) VS Daniel Bryan VS Dean Ambrose VS Dolph Ziggler VS R-Truth VS Luke Harper VS Stardust Match of the night because obviously. I also buy into the notion that Daniel Bryan wins here because Lesnar is sticking around as champ and they want to give the secondary titles to the top stars to make them PPV-main-event-able.
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONHIP MATCH Rusev (C) VS John Cena And, for that reason, *sigh* John Cena wins.
HHH VS Sting No good reason for Sting to job in what may be his only WWE match ever. I gave zero fucks about Sting when he was feuding with the nWo and only Getting Old. I can't even calculate the number of fucks I don't give about Sad Looking Middle-Aged Goth In His Marching Band Uniform Sting. The entrances will probably be cool, I guess.
The Undertaker VS Bray Wyatt I feel like this one has to go to Bray - 'Taker is very very very close to done and we need a NEW creepy supernatural monster and in 2015 Bray Wyatt is reminding me why I loved him so much in early 2014 and I can't think of a better candidate.
Paige & AJ Lee VS The Bella Twins I'm betting they tear the house down - the main roster really has been Giving Divas A Chance lately and there's no reason why the very top of the division shouldn't get a chance to shine on the biggest show of the year. (There's a reason they skipped the "throw all the women into something" shmozz this year and are letting the "lesser" Divas get their Wrestlemania paychecks by escorting Hall of Famers to the stage.) The Bella Twins win when Paige and AJ fully implode - leading to some really hot action in the division when a certain Hall of Famer's daughter debuts the next night...
The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal My heart says Mizdow or Adrian Neville or A RETURNING BO DALLAS but my head says it's just going to be fucking Sheamus. Oh well.
Seth Rollins VS Randy Orton Two great wrestlers who should really click together but I am completely incapable of giving the slightest of fucks about Randy Orton. I had to look to see what match I was forgetting. Rollins wins because he's going to build to 22-0.
PRESHOW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Cesaro & Tyson Kidd VS The Usos VS Los Matadores VS Two Guys from The New Day, Probably Big E and Kofi Kingston Cesaro and Kidd are awesome. Fact. They deserve to be on the show proper. Fact. The Usos would probably get the belts back here if one of them wasn't hurt and probably just going to stand on the apron while his partner does all the heavy lifting. Fact. Cesaro and Kidd retain. Fact.
Brock retains Wyatt over Taker Cena over Rusev Rollins over Orton Daniel Bryan wins the ladder match Mizdow wins the Battle Royal Sting over HHH Bella Twins over AJ and Paige
Preshow- Cesaro and Kidd retain
"Put on your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of 3!" "It was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." "All right, look alive everybody...oh sorry Susan."- MST3K: Space Mutiny Click Here (facebook.com)
BROCK LESNAR. Fuzzy and I were brothers in believing that Lesnar would retain before the news of the contract signing hit. Now it's my Smooth Jimmy Apollo Lock of the Week.
Undertaker. I disagree with this decision from a development standpoint and still believe that it made the most sense for Bray to be the one in twenty-one and one. But we don't live in that alternate universe, so we have to live with what we've got.
Sting. HHH shows ass for the good of selling out JerryLand next year. He can't send the vigilante back to the rafters (permanently), so he has to call on his end-of-an-era BFF Undertaker to Booger Red the CrowDog from his yard. These three matches set up the upper-card for 32. Brock holds the title through next year, breaking Punk's number and main-eventing with Dwayne. Taker-Sting is the dream match that is ~5 years too late, but should still get butts in seats. No clue what HHH does, but I'm willing to bet it's not sit on the sidelines and clap. We have a whole year to figure that part out though. Maybe Rollins.
Cena. I've been burned too many times from going against Cena in big matches. Like Tim Tebow, he just wins.
Bryan. Gotta dangle something in front of people like us. I prefer Ziggler, but it's never been about what I prefer.
Rollins. I want Orton to yell at tables for 10 minutes and am ok with either man winning.
Mizdow. Unless Sheamus shows up. Then Sheamus. I'm going by who has been announced.
Kidd&Cesaro Uso IV is hurt and Kidd&Cesaro are doing great things that need to continue.
His name was Jamie San in the Jung Dragons. And indeed he was masked, and I never thought twice about it. When he got unmasked well, in words of the immortal Mark Madden the following Nitro "Hey! That Jamie San is a white guy."