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The W - Pro Wrestling - WORST...COMMENTATOR...EVER!
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Elbarto997
Cotto








Since: 16.7.03
From: Wexford,Pa

Since last post: 7556 days
Last activity: 7555 days
#1 Posted on
Ok so who do u think is the WORST...COMMENTATOR...EVER?
I would say that both The Coach and Jim Ross are. Ross because of : "BAH GAWD he is getting whipped like a gov't mule" and "their runnin' like scolded dogs". And when they are in the heat of a mixed tag match. Oyyy! Johnathan Coachman because,well you can think of some quotes of your own. So what is the WORST...COMMENTATOR..EVER?Ok I promise I'll stop doing that.



U flush one down it swirls around, 999 springs to flush down -Homer Simpson
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FurryHippie
Frankfurter








Since: 29.10.02
From: New York

Since last post: 6424 days
Last activity: 5111 days
#2 Posted on
I'll beat everyone to this and say THE CAT. No, seriously. There REALLY isn't any arguing it. Have you SEEN this guy?? I mean, I can accept people hating JR's boring "BAH GAWD" stuff and Coach doing whatever it is that you guys don't like, but at least these guys will try. They give you a sense of enthusiasm. Ernest Miller LITERALLY sits there in silence for long periods of time and always sounds like he's reading off a damn cue card when he decides to chime in. I mean this seriously - a 12 year old can do a better job than him.
Elbarto997
Cotto








Since: 16.7.03
From: Wexford,Pa

Since last post: 7556 days
Last activity: 7555 days
#3 Posted on
Whatever happened to Marc Lloyd or as Tazz calls him, Mitch Void, or something like that. And as for Miller, uh I don't watch Velocity. at least not until we see Paul London.



U flush one down it swirls around, 999 springs to flush down -Homer Simpson
fuelinjected
Banger








Since: 12.10.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 6706 days
Last activity: 6706 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.15
David Crockett, hands down.

Sean Mooney and Todd Pettengill were pretty bad too, the Mark Lloyd's of their day.
ced64
Mettwurst








Since: 26.11.02
From: MS

Since last post: 7194 days
Last activity: 3727 days
#5 Posted on
vince



MEAN! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BY GAWD...GENE
Elbarto997
Cotto








Since: 16.7.03
From: Wexford,Pa

Since last post: 7556 days
Last activity: 7555 days
#6 Posted on
No duh. Compare Vince's voice from '97 to today. His cliches were worse than JR's and well lets just say his voice is lame altogether. Vinny Mac definatly earns a nominee in the thread



U flush one down it swirls around, 999 springs to flush down -Homer Simpson
IfYouWill
Linguica








Since: 4.6.03
From: Erie, PA

Since last post: 7511 days
Last activity: 7509 days
#7 Posted on
Vince? Huh uh. No way. I actually liked Vince when he commentated and I'd love to hear him do commentary or play-by-play to break the monotony of King & JR who have done Raw for the last 5 or 6 yrs straight.


But by far the worst commentator is The Cat. A lot of times, I can't understand what he's saying and he uses two catchphrases as his crutch. Absolutely awful. But I don't know which is worse: the Cat wrestling or the Cat doing color.



"I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!"
InVerse
Boudin blanc








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 2046 days
Last activity: 2009 days
#8 Posted on
I could never stand Gordon Solie. Apparently a lot of ppl consider him one of the greatest, though...



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Evil Antler God
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Since: 10.1.02

Since last post: 6383 days
Last activity: 4509 days
#9 Posted on
Wow, no love for the great Tony Schiavone so far

Although I'll agree, Cat is far worse than even Tony could ever hope to be.....which is shocking, considering how damned good he was on the mic in WCW.....



Anybody can kick people's asses. But it takes a true monster to kick people's asses AND breastfeed at the same time
- Excalibur05
geemoney
Scrapple








Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

Since last post: 12 days
Last activity: 11 hours
#10 Posted on
What about Rob Bartlett in the early days of RAW?

I love the Cat. He's so bad, it's funny.
HMD
Andouille








Since: 8.6.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 2541 days
Last activity: 2541 days
#11 Posted on
How about Macho Man?

"That doesn't even dignify a remark!"

Uh...What?



"Whatever I just posted above is what your mother said in bed last night."
Scott Summets
Sujuk








Since: 27.6.02

Since last post: 7349 days
Last activity: 7318 days
#12 Posted on
How about the man who probably made the biggest flub ever. Main event of WM 2, Hogan goes for the leg drop and in chimes Lord Alfred Hayes, "HERE COMES THE BIG KNEE DROP!" Any 5 year old could have told you then it's a leg drop and the guy annoucing the match couldn't even get it right. Not to meniton Elvira was horrible too. If it wasn't for Jesse, that match would get the mute button. So I nominate Hayes for worst annoucer.



Rorschach: "None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me."
NickBockwinkelFan
Frankfurter








Since: 10.4.02
From: New York City, NY

Since last post: 4366 days
Last activity: 3132 days
#13 Posted on
I'd have to second the nomination of David Crockett. Try watching the Great American Bash 1986 sometime, he's beyond awful.


    Originally posted by FurryHippie
    I'll beat everyone to this and say THE CAT. No, seriously. There REALLY isn't any arguing it. Have you SEEN this guy?? Ernest Miller LITERALLY sits there in silence for long periods of time and always sounds like he's reading off a damn cue card when he decides to chime in. I mean this seriously - a 12 year old can do a better job than him.


I've always liked the Cat. Admittedly I don't see Velocity that often, but this exchange was classic:

Josh: What an incredible move!

The Cat: Shut Up Kid! Did you hear about Torrie Wilson! She's gonna be in Playboy!

Josh: Well I'm suprised it only took 15 seconds before you brought up Torrie in Playboy. It should be incredible!

The Cat: What do you care about Playboy anyway? I thought you'd be more interested in Playgirl!



"Well, you can't involve friendship with business. It has to be one or the other. It's either business or friendship, or hit the bricks!"
--Life Lessons from "The Tao of Bobby the Brain Heenan" Uncensored 2000 preview


"As long as the check don't bounce, I guess he's okay with it!"
--Former All Pro Giants LB Harry Carson on Bill Parcells joining the hated rival Dallas Cowboys

OMEGA
Lap cheong








Since: 18.6.02
From: North Cacalacky

Since last post: 5385 days
Last activity: 2990 days
#14 Posted on
I'll spare The Cat, because he's so bad that he's entertaining. That's worth at least SOMETHING.

I'm gonna' have to give the nod to either Rob Bartlett (who was so bad, I was embarassed to be watching pro-wrestling) and that guy who did play-by-play at the Heroes of Wrestling PPV and called a dropkick a "flying leg-kick".



The answer to WWE's financial problems...
12characters
Cotto








Since: 17.7.03
From: Auckland, New Zealand

Since last post: 7536 days
Last activity: 7530 days
#15 Posted on
David Crockett wins hands down. No contest.

"LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT HIM TONY!"



I'm Shane Harrison, yo' RantWars daddy! (Better than Dave Shilling anyway)
Lotty
Chourico








Since: 23.3.02
From: Bay Area

Since last post: 6809 days
Last activity: 6083 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
Easy: Mongo





Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: South F’n Carolina

Since last post: 45 days
Last activity: 3 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.44
Well, the worst combination of commentators was David McClane and Lee Marshall. Ugh.

The worst wrestler to ever commentate was Superstar Billy Graham doing Summerslam 88. I felt so bad for Gorilla that night.

Oooh yeah, Randy Savage sucked as a commentator, but he still was 80 times better than Mongo.



Molly, Stacy and Daffney all in WWE? I suddenly lost all my will to complain about anything regarding the WWE. Hope I don't lose my street cred for this.

TS, the greatest Wiener rated 6.1554 ever to live!! Oops, I mean 5.5...4.5?? Oh, dammit! I guess Notorious FAB was right.
The Vile1
Lap cheong








Since: 4.9.02
From: California

Since last post: 5456 days
Last activity: 5188 days
#18 Posted on
Has everyone forgotten Mark Madden? Mark Madden, the self-proclaimed "Best Looking Man on TV."




"Just a humble bounty hunter, ma'am."
-Spike Spiegel
Tribal Prophet
Andouille








Since: 9.1.02
From: Winnipeg, MB, Canada

Since last post: 2936 days
Last activity: 2196 days
#19 Posted on

    Originally posted by Scott Summets
    How about the man who probably made the biggest flub ever. Main event of WM 2, Hogan goes for the leg drop and in chimes Lord Alfred Hayes, "HERE COMES THE BIG KNEE DROP!" Any 5 year old could have told you then it's a leg drop and the guy annoucing the match couldn't even get it right. Not to meniton Elvira was horrible too. If it wasn't for Jesse, that match would get the mute button. So I nominate Hayes for worst annoucer.


Shit, you've got my vote right there.

You know, back when I was around 11 or 12 I started watching wrestling. I used to go to the local video store and rent the old WWF PPVs to try to learn about who had fought who and what storylines had happened so I could keep up (this was years before the internet, mind you). I actually got to the point where I would spend the bike ride home praying that Hayes WASN'T on the tape. Near the end of renting them, if he was one of the commentators, I would actually get back on my bike and just return the tape, without even bothering with some fake story about the tape not working to get my money back. I would just put it in the dropbox 15 minutes after renting it and head home, a disappointed young man...

Fuck you, Alfred Hayes!


Tribal Prophet



Wrestling exists in the eternal present. What is, has always been, and when it no longer is, it never was. It has no past and no future, and sometimes even today is in question. - Madame Manga

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RKMtwin
Boudin rouge








Since: 1.3.02
From: Denver, Colorado

Since last post: 5627 days
Last activity: 5071 days
#20 Posted on
I totally agree with the Mongo and David Crockett picks. I remember grabbing a couple of sound samples of Crockett from Wrestlecrap. Good damn GRACIOUS! Someone should've just clotheslined the sh*t out of him (Of wait, Nikita DID! Nevermind.)

Also, whenever someone even mentions Steve McMichael's name, there's one thing that pops immediately to mind-- on the second edition of Nitro when The Giant went to the ring to chokeslam Macho Man, Mongo utters the stupidest freakin' line EVER--

"Summboddehh git uh can o' green beans an' distracks this guy!" (Actually it makes me laugh heartily!)

And for another example of horrible commentary, look no further than my signature below.

Oh yeah! How could I forget? I KNOW I mentioned this in the past, but in the GWF's waning days, there was Doyle King. He was the WORST. That guy was so boring and unmotivated, I mean, UGH! He just plain sucked. To make things worse, it sounded as if he had a buttnugget lodged in his throat, too.



David Crockett sez it best, folks: "Look at 'im, Tony! Look at 'im!"

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I enjoyed the Kane/Shane feud for one reason ... I knew that it meant Shane would take a sick bump ... that's happened so they need to move on.
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