Ok so who do u think is the WORST...COMMENTATOR...EVER? I would say that both The Coach and Jim Ross are. Ross because of : "BAH GAWD he is getting whipped like a gov't mule" and "their runnin' like scolded dogs". And when they are in the heat of a mixed tag match. Oyyy! Johnathan Coachman because,well you can think of some quotes of your own. So what is the WORST...COMMENTATOR..EVER?Ok I promise I'll stop doing that.
U flush one down it swirls around, 999 springs to flush down -Homer Simpson
I'll beat everyone to this and say THE CAT. No, seriously. There REALLY isn't any arguing it. Have you SEEN this guy?? I mean, I can accept people hating JR's boring "BAH GAWD" stuff and Coach doing whatever it is that you guys don't like, but at least these guys will try. They give you a sense of enthusiasm. Ernest Miller LITERALLY sits there in silence for long periods of time and always sounds like he's reading off a damn cue card when he decides to chime in. I mean this seriously - a 12 year old can do a better job than him.
Vince? Huh uh. No way. I actually liked Vince when he commentated and I'd love to hear him do commentary or play-by-play to break the monotony of King & JR who have done Raw for the last 5 or 6 yrs straight.
But by far the worst commentator is The Cat. A lot of times, I can't understand what he's saying and he uses two catchphrases as his crutch. Absolutely awful. But I don't know which is worse: the Cat wrestling or the Cat doing color.
"I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man, I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!"
How about the man who probably made the biggest flub ever. Main event of WM 2, Hogan goes for the leg drop and in chimes Lord Alfred Hayes, "HERE COMES THE BIG KNEE DROP!" Any 5 year old could have told you then it's a leg drop and the guy annoucing the match couldn't even get it right. Not to meniton Elvira was horrible too. If it wasn't for Jesse, that match would get the mute button. So I nominate Hayes for worst annoucer.
Rorschach: "None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me."
I'd have to second the nomination of David Crockett. Try watching the Great American Bash 1986 sometime, he's beyond awful.
Originally posted by FurryHippieI'll beat everyone to this and say THE CAT. No, seriously. There REALLY isn't any arguing it. Have you SEEN this guy?? Ernest Miller LITERALLY sits there in silence for long periods of time and always sounds like he's reading off a damn cue card when he decides to chime in. I mean this seriously - a 12 year old can do a better job than him.
I've always liked the Cat. Admittedly I don't see Velocity that often, but this exchange was classic:
Josh: What an incredible move!
The Cat: Shut Up Kid! Did you hear about Torrie Wilson! She's gonna be in Playboy!
Josh: Well I'm suprised it only took 15 seconds before you brought up Torrie in Playboy. It should be incredible!
The Cat: What do you care about Playboy anyway? I thought you'd be more interested in Playgirl!
"Well, you can't involve friendship with business. It has to be one or the other. It's either business or friendship, or hit the bricks!" --Life Lessons from "The Tao of Bobby the Brain Heenan" Uncensored 2000 preview
"As long as the check don't bounce, I guess he's okay with it!" --Former All Pro Giants LB Harry Carson on Bill Parcells joining the hated rival Dallas Cowboys
I'll spare The Cat, because he's so bad that he's entertaining. That's worth at least SOMETHING.
I'm gonna' have to give the nod to either Rob Bartlett (who was so bad, I was embarassed to be watching pro-wrestling) and that guy who did play-by-play at the Heroes of Wrestling PPV and called a dropkick a "flying leg-kick".
Originally posted by Scott SummetsHow about the man who probably made the biggest flub ever. Main event of WM 2, Hogan goes for the leg drop and in chimes Lord Alfred Hayes, "HERE COMES THE BIG KNEE DROP!" Any 5 year old could have told you then it's a leg drop and the guy annoucing the match couldn't even get it right. Not to meniton Elvira was horrible too. If it wasn't for Jesse, that match would get the mute button. So I nominate Hayes for worst annoucer.
Shit, you've got my vote right there.
You know, back when I was around 11 or 12 I started watching wrestling. I used to go to the local video store and rent the old WWF PPVs to try to learn about who had fought who and what storylines had happened so I could keep up (this was years before the internet, mind you). I actually got to the point where I would spend the bike ride home praying that Hayes WASN'T on the tape. Near the end of renting them, if he was one of the commentators, I would actually get back on my bike and just return the tape, without even bothering with some fake story about the tape not working to get my money back. I would just put it in the dropbox 15 minutes after renting it and head home, a disappointed young man...
Fuck you, Alfred Hayes!
Wrestling exists in the eternal present. What is, has always been, and when it no longer is, it never was. It has no past and no future, and sometimes even today is in question. - Madame Manga
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I totally agree with the Mongo and David Crockett picks. I remember grabbing a couple of sound samples of Crockett from Wrestlecrap. Good damn GRACIOUS! Someone should've just clotheslined the sh*t out of him (Of wait, Nikita DID! Nevermind.)
Also, whenever someone even mentions Steve McMichael's name, there's one thing that pops immediately to mind-- on the second edition of Nitro when The Giant went to the ring to chokeslam Macho Man, Mongo utters the stupidest freakin' line EVER--
"Summboddehh git uh can o' green beans an' distracks this guy!" (Actually it makes me laugh heartily!)
And for another example of horrible commentary, look no further than my signature below.
Oh yeah! How could I forget? I KNOW I mentioned this in the past, but in the GWF's waning days, there was Doyle King. He was the WORST. That guy was so boring and unmotivated, I mean, UGH! He just plain sucked. To make things worse, it sounded as if he had a buttnugget lodged in his throat, too.
David Crockett sez it best, folks: "Look at 'im, Tony! Look at 'im!"
Dammit. I have a stupid wedding that day/night. I really have to make an effort to catch these guys the next time around. How often do they come to the area? Edit: Nevermind, I found their site. That intraweb is quite handy sometimes.