Let me preface this by saying that I'm 27 and not a hairy man (facts important to the bet).
That said, about 4 years ago I made a bet with a friend of mine (another wrestling fan) during a boom in pro wrestling. His contention was that I would not be able to grow a beard by the time I'm 40. The pay-off is front-row seats and airfare for two the next Wrestlemania. For instance, if I grow the beard by November of 2008, he must come up with the front row seats by Wrestlemania 2009. And if I fail, we're headed to WM 2016.
My question is thusly: Will there be a Wrestlemania XXX?
There's a lot to worry about here for me: A) Growing the beard (big problem) B) Somehow coming up with front-row seats (not 2nd row, front row) and C) Will the WWE even be in existence at that point? I'm dealing with a lot of shit here.
B) Somehow coming up with front-row seats - I'd say pretty much impossible unless your friend has some hookups, even if wrestling isn't that popular. You might have to settle for not-front-row-seats to Wrestlemania or front-row-seats to another PPV. Something to remember though - it is always a million times easier to get one ticket than two. Your friend might be able to get you a front row seat but have to settle for a nosebleed himself.
C)Will the WWE be in existance by Wrestlemanis XXXII (the last one you're eligable for, if I count right) - I'd say yes. Of course, nothing is guaranteed when it comes to the rasslin' biz.
I'd discuss a backup plan with your friend. Super Bowl tickets perhaps. Something like that.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think I was going to talk about 'man on dog' with a United States Senator. It's sort of freaking me out."
Associated Press interview with Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA), 04-07-2003.
Well, I saw a picture of the old man with a beard. He says he was 34 at the time, so that's only 7 years. Don't get me wrong, it fabulous. I only have to shave once a week.
As for the front-row seats, we were in law school at the time and planning to be super rich. Now, I'm writing on the internet and CRZ knows how much that pays. However, he's in Vegas as a criminal defense attorney raking in the cash. So all I have to do is start applying rogaine directly to the face and bank on him coming up with the tix.
Also, I'm writing letters to Shane McMahon (he may be running the show by then) each year keeping him apprised of the situation (of which he is likely on the edge of his seat). That way if I use, Shane will just give me the tickets at face price and work the bet into the show.
So I've got all my bases covered, I guess. Now all the WWE has to do is stay solvent for another 10 years.
A) If you can't grow a beard, at least buy a fake one or use a black magic marker (it worked for Hogan!). In the absolute worst case scenario, get hairs from dead people surgically implanted into your face.
B) If it's in the midst of another "boom" period, you may have trouble. However, not everyone is willing to pay $3000 (adjusted for inflation) for one seat.
C) At WWE's current rate of decline, I doubt there will be a WMXXX. People are rejecting the product and Vince isn't responding well, but we'll see with Vince. If things stay as they are, at best, you shouldn't have a problem getting tickets to WrestleMania at the Manhatten Center.
"If you're asking if I would ever date a wrestler, certainly I would. However it wouldn't be good business for me to get romantically involved with anyone in any aspect of our business." -Stephanie McMahon (Off the Record, June 3rd, 1999)
TIP: Stop shaving. Terms of the bet don't have you putting a beard on in a weeks time does it? If you stop shaving now you should have some sort of beard in plenty of time for wrestlemania XX.
"i dont know what it is or what it could be but i get a woody when these pussies try to push me thinkin they gonna put me in a position to pickle me y'all tickle me pink i think i'd just rather have Pink Tickle Me" Biggie, 50 Cent, Eminem "The Realest" (RemiX)
SchippeWreck - C'mon. I doubt that. If that is the case, however, I feel... ...awkward.
bubblesthechimp - Well, I would, but a few things stop me. 1.) Fiance stops kissing. That's fine when I know I'm ready to go for it, but right now, it's just too early. Which leaves me to #2) I tried that last summer, after about 6 weeks I looked like a pederast. Crappy white-trash moustache and chin-hair. Nothing connecting the two and no sideburns.
The point is that I think I can handle the beard (as for pasting corpses hair, not that I'm above that, but it was stipulated that an independent reviewer would have to verify 'a full beard') I'm just worried about the WWE being around in 10 more years.
I think it will be, McMahons pockets are deep and they've survived worse periods than this. Wrestling tends to be cyclical and I think it'll swing back.
BTW, has anyone ever sat in the first row? If so, how did you get the tix? I assume from a corporation. The closest I got was 2nd row at a Smackdown when they took my buddy and I from the absolute last row and filled us in down low.
Sorry, gater, didn't mean to make you feel awkward. I think I meant more funny than weird. This passage in particular struck me..
Originally posted by gaterAlso, I'm writing letters to Shane McMahon (he may be running the show by then) each year keeping him apprised of the situation (of which he is likely on the edge of his seat). That way if I use, Shane will just give me the tickets at face price and work the bet into the show.
And it's also a bet no one would make with me, because if I started growing a beard today I could win free tickets for Monday's Raw.
Originally posted by bubblesthechimpTIP: Stop shaving. Terms of the bet don't have you putting a beard on in a weeks time does it? If you stop shaving now you should have some sort of beard in plenty of time for wrestlemania XX.
Don't do that. Shave every day, even if you only have a light stubble. The more you shave, the quicker and thicker your hair will grow in.
10 year-planning, fiancee not wanting him around if he goes through with it, writing letters to Shane McMahon... Wow, I can't believe someone's entire life is revolving around Wrestlemania. And I thought *I* was a fan! That's some Goddamned loyalty to a product that shows none to it's fans!
Wrestling exists in the eternal present. What is, has always been, and when it no longer is, it never was. It has no past and no future, and sometimes even today is in question. - Madame Manga
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