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The W - Pro Wrestling - World's Greatest Wrestling Match
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joepet
Tocino








Since: 17.4.02

Since last post: 2699 days
Last activity: 2314 days
#1 Posted on
You may have heard that scientists recently created the world's funniest joke (see story at http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/science/10/03/joke.funniest/ among many other places) What got lost in the mix was that they have also created the World's Greatest Wrestling Match, a five-star extravaganza in the minds of marks, smarks, and smarts of all nations. Since I can't find the article online to link to, here's a writeup of that world's greatest match:

The Rock vs Keiji Muto:

The Rock enters the ring first, hitting his catch phrases for five whole minutes. Muto makes his entrance, tells The Rock to "Just Bring It" Both men collide in the ring. Both men reverse hammerlocks. Muto misses an early attempt at the Shining Wizard, then blocks a Rock Bottom. Contrived spot sees Rock, Muto and ref collide in the center of the ring. Triple H attempts a run in, but tears a quad muscle and collapses in the aisle way.

Rock kips up, hits a recovering Muto with the Shining Wizard, but ref unable to count. Kevin Nash attempts a run in, but tears a quad muscle and collapses in the aisle way. Muto recovers, hits The Rock with a Rock Bottom, but ref unable to count. Jeff Hardy attempts a run in, but tears a quad muscle and collapses in the aisle way, losing his shirt in the process.

Ref recovers. The Rock blocks the Shining Wizard and hits the Rock Bottom for a two count. Trish Stratus attempts a run in, but tears a quad muscle and collapses in the aisle way, losing her shirt in the process. The Rock blocks another Shining Wizard and hits Muto with one of his own, knocking him out of the ring.

Vince Russo does a "walk in", carefully circumnavigating the writhing bodies in the aisle way, and smears facepaint on Muto, turning him into The Great Muta. Rock comes out and punches Russo, who trips over the fallen Kevin Nash and tears his quad. Muta throws Rock in the ring, hits a backbreaker, then goes up and hits his Moonsault. Then he hits a second one. But as he attempts a third moonsault, he is tripped up by Triple H, who has bravely fought through the pain to hit his spot in the match.

Rock kips up, and hits Muta with the People's Elbow. He then goes to the top rope and hits the People's Moonsault for the first time in his career, and goes for the pin, only to be informed by the referee that he counted them both out five minutes ago. The Rock hits the Rock Bottom on the ref while Muta moonsaults him. Rock shakes hands with Muta, then hits him with a Rock Bottom.

There you have it. Another triumph for science!
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ILikeJeffGaylord
Weisswurst








Since: 15.9.02
From: Lawrence, KS

Since last post: 4432 days
Last activity: 4432 days
#2 Posted on
Nope, sorry, wrong. Everybody knows that for it to be perfect, the Japanese guy is the one walking on his own two feet at the end.

Do I sound bitter? Sorry.



This is my sig!
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 481 days
Last activity: 442 days
#3 Posted on
The world's funniest joke? The joke so funny that no one could read it without dying of laughter? The joke that had to be translated into German one word at a time so that no one would see enough of the joke? I don't have any way to finish this paragraph, I just wanted to make a reference to the Monty Python sketch about the world's funniest joke. Anyway, now for something completely different.

The funniest thing about that CNN article was the last line. "Many jokes submitted contained references to animals. Jokes mentioning ducks were considered particularly funny." What is it about ducks that makes them so funny? The world may never know.



jimimium
Chorizo








Since: 25.1.02
From: Kirksville, MO

Since last post: 1469 days
Last activity: 1455 days
AIM:  
#4 Posted on

    Originally posted by Mr. Boffo
    The funniest thing about that CNN article was the last line. "Many jokes submitted contained references to animals. Jokes mentioning ducks were considered particularly funny." What is it about ducks that makes them so funny? The world may never know.


I believe that may have something to do with the mysterious fact that duck quacks do not echo. That or their feet. Their god damned duck feet.
Iron Mike Sharpe
Pickled pork








Since: 16.6.02

Since last post: 4110 days
Last activity: 4110 days
#5 Posted on
Did somebody step on a duck?
Jubuki
Kolbasz








Since: 16.7.02

Since last post: 4422 days
Last activity: 4406 days
#6 Posted on
Ducks are marvels of biological engineering - what makes you think they can't also be funny??? Webbed feet, oily feathers, non-echoing quacks...c'mon, a sense of humor is a hill o' beans compared to that stuff.



Chris
The AIR RAID CRASH
squiz
Salami








Since: 5.1.02
From: Dover, NH

Since last post: 1150 days
Last activity: 253 days
AIM:  
#7 Posted on
Mr. Boffo, do you mean this joke?

"Wenn ist das Nurnstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Feierhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"




Hej, jag har en gris i byxorna.


squizwrestling.net

Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 481 days
Last activity: 442 days
#8 Posted on

    Originally posted by squiz
    Mr. Boffo, do you mean this joke?

    "Wenn ist das Nurnstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Feierhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"


Yeah that's it. I don't suppose that actually translates into anything.

Babelfish will translate a few words. I don't know if that's because of it's (Babelfish's) suckiness or not.



The Sham
Kolbasz








Since: 20.1.02
From: Hamden, CT

Since last post: 1755 days
Last activity: 1107 days
#9 Posted on
My dog has no nose.

How does he smell?

Awful.

(Apparently some people aren't up on their Python. Oh, and I guess it loses something in the translation if you haven't died from laughter yet.)



"Cram it with walnuts, ugly!"- Mr. Homer Simpson
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 481 days
Last activity: 442 days
#10 Posted on

    Originally posted by The Sham
    My dog has no nose.

    How does he smell?

    Awful.

    (Apparently some people aren't up on their Python. Oh, and I guess it loses something in the translation if you haven't died from laughter yet.)


Are you sure? I remember them showing that as the joke that the German's tried to use instead, but I don't think that's what the phrase squiz posted translated into.



The Sham
Kolbasz








Since: 20.1.02
From: Hamden, CT

Since last post: 1755 days
Last activity: 1107 days
#11 Posted on
I believe that's the German version of the joke (which was not as successful as the one the late Mr. Scribbler wrote).

but I'm sure we're about to get this thread booted into "Random" so...

OMG! PURERUSSO [sic] IZ DA BOMB!



"Cram it with walnuts, ugly!"- Mr. Homer Simpson
UnsUwe
Chourico








Since: 6.7.02
From: Germany

Since last post: 594 days
Last activity: 237 days
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ICQ:  
#12 Posted on

    Originally posted by squiz
    Mr. Boffo, do you mean this joke?

    "Wenn ist das Nurnstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Feierhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"




Too bad.....it looks like german, but it sounds like a 4 year old playing scrabble! No offence though:-)



All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Pool-Boy
Lap cheong








Since: 1.8.02
From: Huntington Beach, CA

Since last post: 1345 days
Last activity: 112 days
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Y!:
#13 Posted on
Lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm-
The bartender says "HEY! Get that big out of here!"
The lady replies "Its not a pig, its a duck!"
The bartender says- "I was talking to the duck!"



Craig Reade
"Pool Boy"

Detroit Lions! 1-3!
On the road to oh and sixt... Wha?
The Great Thomas
Sujuk








Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 3406 days
Last activity: 3406 days
#14 Posted on

    Originally posted by joepet
    Rock shakes hands with Muta, then hits him with a Rock Bottom.
Booooooo.....





American Diversity.
emma
Cherries > Peaches








Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 1 day
#15 Posted on
    Originally posted by Mr. Boffo

      Originally posted by The Sham
      My dog has no nose.

      How does he smell?

      Awful.

      (Apparently some people aren't up on their Python. Oh, and I guess it loses something in the translation if you haven't died from laughter yet.)


    Are you sure? I remember them showing that as the joke that the German's tried to use instead, but I don't think that's what the phrase squiz posted translated into.

That was the original attempt by Hitler himself, which failed miserably.

An intermdiate attempt by the Germans (pre-translation) was: "Die ist ein Kinnerhunder und zwei Mackel uber und der bitte schon ist den Wunderhaus sprechensie. "Nein' sprecht der Herren 'Ist aufern borger mit zveitingen'."

However, the ultimate German V-Joke (broadcast in December '44) was "Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas ... assaulted!"

(The actual joke, accurately reported by squiz, doesn't actually translate to anything real. But I'm sure if I'd taken more german in school, I could make some sort of Joycean sense of it! :-) )

Oh, and what makes ducks so funny? Because they weigh the same as witches, of course.

(edited by emma on 5.10.02 0134)
UnsUwe
Chourico








Since: 6.7.02
From: Germany

Since last post: 594 days
Last activity: 237 days
AIM:  
ICQ:  
#16 Posted on

    Originally posted by Pool-Boy
    Lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm-
    The bartender says "HEY! Get that big out of here!"
    The lady replies "Its not a pig, its a duck!"
    The bartender says- "I was talking to the duck!"





Looks like someone was watching "Point of no return" a little too often.......



All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
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