So, I was waiting for the Brazil/England game to come on TSN last night, so I natually turned on Conan O'Brien. He was talking about soccer, and how everyone loves it now, so he decided to jump on the bandwagon...
"Unfortunately, the World Cup has led to an alarmingly large number of doctors committing COLD BLOODED MURDER. This segment will explain, hopefully..." Cut to a doctor's office. The doctor checks the chart of a young man. Suddenly, the young man jumps out of bed, wearing a red, white and blue body suit. "I GOT WORLD CUP FEEVER! WHOO!" The young man continues on, until the doctor pulls out a gun and shoots him.
Also, the chances of "the United States being in the Elite 8 are as slim as a Sudanese hockey team winning the Stanley Cup" Lots of laughs as we see an African guy wearing skates. Some guy in the audience speaks up "No, that's wrong! Since there are no Sudanese teams in the National Hockey League, it's impossible for them to win the Stanley Cup. And the odds for the U.S. to be in the Elite 8 were about 40-1.""Oh... I just thought it was a funny picture.""I want to see things that aren't funny...like my role in this sketch."
Also, there was a segment showing another negative aspect of the U.S. World Cup run...people keep kicking things. A phone rings in an office, and the guy kicks it off the wall, then answers it. A bartender kicks a bunch of bottles off of the bar, kicks them around behind the bar, and produces a picture-perfect martini.
That's all *I* can remember... It was funny, but it was late and all I can remember was Brazilian PASSION!
Bart: Hey, immigrants! Beat it! Country's full! Sailor: OK people, you heard the lady. Back into the hold. We'll try Canada. [the immigrants moan] -- "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson"
"That's what the Internet is for, slandering others anonymously" Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back