It is with great pride and utter humility that I accept today's Wiener of the Day award.
First off, I'd like to thank my agent. When he originally told me that there was a chance that I could get this award, I brushed it off, but he was amazingly right on all accounts. I only wish he were alive to see this day.
I'd also like to thank my enemies. For, if not for my scornful rage towards them, this moment wouldn't feel nearly as good. In my great moment of triumph, may their lives be full of misery and heartbreak.
Finally, I'd like to thank CRZ. Mainly, I guess, to kiss his ass, but also because he is the reason I am here today. If not for him, I'd probably be stuck in some godforsaken IRC channel.
We are all going to die.
Oh, but at least I will have held this honor once, maybe even again someday. Maybe even a couple more times after that. Then, I'll die just like anyone else, but this award shall immortalize me. Especially since it means a lot more than certain "undisputed" titles.
2000: Nitro (slashwrestling.com) 2000: Nitro (arena report) by Bill Barnwell 2000: RAW Benoit vs. Rock from San Jose 2000: Westminster Dog Show by Saint James 2000: WWF Classics by Chris Brooker 2001: Thunder by E.C. Ostermeyer 2002: