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The W - One Question... - Who do you shoot?
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sweetroll
Cotechino








Since: 23.3.02
From: Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

Since last post: 269 days
Last activity: 14 days
#1 Posted on
You’re home alone, sitting in your La-Z-Boy, but both of your legs are in casts. Next to your chair, a loaded revolver, with only two bullets. All of a sudden, the freecreditreport.com guy, the ShamWow guy, and the UPS whiteboard guy kick in the door and break into your house to do terrible things.

What do you do with the two bullets?


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TwisterF5
Italian








Since: 18.2.04
From: The Houston 'burbs

Since last post: 455 days
Last activity: 455 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.12
The first bullet goes between the ShamWow! guy's eyes. The second will hopefully miss the other two and hit Billy Mays.



I'm square (6'7 X 6'7).
DJ FrostyFreeze
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.27
Read it and weep, fella


ShamWow's gotta go, UPS whiteboard guy is next. Maybe I find a way to line them up one in front of the other, so I can shoot each of them twice.

His last couple commercials have been kinda weak (the bicycles one, the renaissance faire one), but the other freecreditreport.com commercials are good.

They'll monitor your credit and send you email alerts,
so you dont end up serving fish to tourists in t-shirts!



CLICK OR DIE
"Whatta dweeb"
Leroy
Andouille








Since: 7.2.02
From: Huntington, NY

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 4 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.29
I drag myself off the recliner and crawl, with my two (presumably) broken legs, through all seven layers of Hell to put two bullets in this guy:




WHY IS HE ALWAYS YELLING AT ME!??!
JayJayDean
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, WA

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 7 hours
AIM:  
Y!:
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.40
Gotta go with the middle guy. IJ LOOOOOVES the freecreditreport.com commercials.

F-R-E-E that spells "free"
credit report dot com, baby




Holy fuck shit motherfucker shit. Read comics. Fuck shit shit fuck shit I sold out when I did my job. Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck. Sorry had to do it....

*snip*

Revenge of the Sith = one thumb up from me. Fuck shit. I want to tittie fuck your ass.
-- The Guinness. to Cerebus
jfkfc
Liverwurst








Since: 9.2.02

Since last post: 36 days
Last activity: 2 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.81
Both bullets right into freecreditreport guy. Whatever it takes. Make it stop.


I actually bought my g/f a ShamWow. While I haven't dried the car with it, it's worked pretty well!
Mr Heel II
Lap cheong








Since: 25.2.02

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 6 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.08
For the life of me, I will never understand why somebody thought it was a good idea to put the Sham Wow guy in front of a camera. That just baffles me.

But I'm going for the UPS guy. He's CREEPY clean.

As for Billy Mays, his new ESPN commercial is awesome.
Nuclear Winter
Boudin rouge








Since: 9.11.03
From: Bedford, Michigan

Since last post: 144 days
Last activity: 18 min.
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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.51
Both bullets go to the freecreditreport guy.

Vince the ShamWow guy is bad to the point of hilarious ("you're gonna love my nuts"), and I like watching the UPS guy draw.



Life After Obama (lifeafterobama.blogspot.com)
JayJayDean
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, WA

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 7 hours
AIM:  
Y!:
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.40
Can I change my mind? I let all three of those dudes do their worst, saving my bullets for anyone who has ever been in a "Cash for Gold" commercial, because they SUCK.



Holy fuck shit motherfucker shit. Read comics. Fuck shit shit fuck shit I sold out when I did my job. Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck. Sorry had to do it....

*snip*

Revenge of the Sith = one thumb up from me. Fuck shit. I want to tittie fuck your ass.
-- The Guinness. to Cerebus
Lexus
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Stafford, VA

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 5 hours
AIM:  
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.85
Vince from ShamWow is constantly doing the People's Eyebrow into the camera. If his face is stuck like that, well, you can't shoot a guy like that.

The UPS whiteboard guy isn't that bad. It's an add campaign that's to the point with little glitz and glamour.

Freecreditreport.com guy's got no beef from me, for that matter.

And Billy Mays is great. He's always loud and pointing at me, but kind of like a benevolent P.E. teacher, not, uh, a mean P.E. teacher, or something.

I'd appreciate the company and sit them all down for a rousing game of Clue, or Trivial Pursuit. I think they'd be fun to play boardgames with.

After that, we'd go find the Alltel guy and the "other" guys in those commercials and stone them to death.



"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Frown and the world laughs at you."
-Me.
supersalvadoran
Landjager








Since: 10.1.08
From: westbury, new york

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 10 hours
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.77
Well, as far as the Billy Mays hate goes, I understand he can be a pretty loud dude to deal with. But you got to appriciate his williness to sell the product. I mean, the man had enough balls to do a demonstration AT HIS OWN WEDDING! That's dedication, holmes! You can't snuff that out.

I don't mind the freecreditreport.com guy so much. I don't want to have to listen to his singing all day, but it's just the right kind of cheesey music I can enjoy for a good bit.

The UPS guy is all right. I don't find him annoying, it's just that I don't care for his last couple of commericals having to use special effects. It just looks like a sign that they're out of ideas to strech his run, like the Geico caveman. Now that's where the first of my bullets would go to: the cavemen. The first commerical at the airport was funny as hell, but man have they gone on way too long. It's hasn't been worth crap for a good year, ever since the failed TV show. And Geico doing good enough with the gecko already, they don't need the cavemen anymore.

The secone bullet would enter the vapid head of Vince, the ShamWow guy. First off, he isn't a rock star or anything, so just give us your damn last name already. Secondly,I hate his "are you following me, cameraman?" line. I can just imagine the cameraguy going "No, I'm just holding a camera on you because it's a hobby and I don't have to make a living to pay my bills- FUCK YES I'M FOLLOWING YOU, YOU HYPER DOUCHE!!!"

In the end, he just seems like a guy who should be leading a excerise program ala Ricard Simmions instead of being in infomercials. Please, end our misery and get rid of him.



Myspace Pics
Cerebus
Knackwurst








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 22 hours
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.48
Vince has gotta go. He reminds me of all those annoying pricks from high school who thought they were cool but were just assholes.

Here's a pretty funny parody (youtube.com). I laughed at least.



Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 389 days
Last activity: 350 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.24
Shamwow guy because he's annoying and FreeCreditReport.com guy because he's fake.

He's a French Canadian actor/singer whose voice is overdubbed.
TwisterF5
Italian








Since: 18.2.04
From: The Houston 'burbs

Since last post: 455 days
Last activity: 455 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.12
More on the ShamWow guy (amiannoying.com)

I see a Celebrity Boxing match with him and Billy Mays in our future!



I'm square (6'7 X 6'7).
Oliver
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: #YEG

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 14 hours
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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.19
I hate the way the Shamwow guy talks to the camera, almost condescendingly - it really bugs me.

I think I'd ask them to stand in a row, in front of me, so my bullets would go through them all at once.

Edit: awesome question.

(edited by Oliver on 17.1.09 1935)


Dash Dynamic!
Alex
Bratwurst








Since: 24.2.02

Since last post: 15 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.54
I shoot myself, twice.
drjayphd
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

Since last post: 14 days
Last activity: 7 hours
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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.54
You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.

"Mangini might not have had balls, but he DID have soft, supple breasts." (SEADAWG)


Freecredit report guy, then I tell Vince he gets to shoot that guy again in exchange for half of whatever he gets from the Scientology lawsuit.



redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 417 days
Last activity: 417 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.85
I use the 1st bullet on Giuseppe Franco from the Procede commercials, then I use the 2nd on him as well after he states he doesn't know what the bullet's made of or how it works, but he's all in favor of it.

(edited by redsoxnation on 18.1.09 1741)
Shem the Penman
Toulouse








Since: 16.1.02
From: The Off-Center of the Universe (aka Philadelphia)

Since last post: 201 days
Last activity: 4 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.00
The Shamwow guy was born a century too late. He would have made a hell of a carnival barker. For that, and because I actually find Shamwows useful, he gets to live.



"The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?"
Packman V2
Bratwurst








Since: 16.3.04
From: Albuquerque, NM

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 8 hours
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Y!:
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.48
2 Bullets for the Freecreditreport.com guy. Although, if the JG Wentworth old guy was on there "ITS YOUR CASH YOU NEED IT NOW", he'd get one of those two...

UPS whiteboard guy commercials are like crack to me...I love those commercials. Sham Wow is classic, plus, looks like a friend of mine I went to HS with.




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I'm talking about some goal or accomplishment that you still look back on fondly with pride, even though it's not going to necessarily get you in the history books or anything (like beating your friend's high score in a video game or winning a hot dog eat...
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