Beef Wellington will be battling Kid Kamikaze next Friday, May 13th in Mississauga for UWA Hardcore Wrestling at St. John's Hall, 2185 Stavebank Road. (Doors open at 7:00 pm, tickets are $10.)
The UWA fans are excited because they get to see two IWS stars go at it. What they may not realize is that they are extremely lucky to see this match – a match between two men with a lot of history together. Because before Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze were singles wrestlers, they were a tag team, a tag team that many people considered, still consider, to be the greatest tag team in IWS history – Hi-5.
When We Were Marks A Brief History of Hi-5
To tell it straight, you would never understand why they were so important. Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze came to the IWS from Jacques Rougeau’s training school. They formed a tag team called Hi-5. They captured the IWS tag team belts within a few short months of having their first match as a team. They defended the IWS tag team belts for the better part of a year. And then, literally with the shattering of a pane of glass, they lost their titles and they were done as a tag team.
But Hi-5 were always more than what was on paper, they were always more than a sum of the parts. Just the team itself, combining the clownish Beef Wellington with the technical Kid Kamikaze gave the IWS a team that could connect with the fans while at the same time deliver strong mat wrestling. Beef Wellington made Kid Kamikaze more interesting to the fans, while Kid Kamikaze made Beef a better wrestler by tagging with him.
Hi-5 also brought the IWS instant credibility by walking out on their trainer Jacques Rougeau Jr., 3 time WWF tag team champion and Inter-Continental champion, to join the IWS. They performed in front of 10, 000 people at the Molson Centre (now the Bell Centre) and left that to perform at le Skratch in front of 300 people. Now that Beef wrestles regularly in New Jersey and Philadelphia, it is obvious that they made the right choice. At the time, it was not so clear. After Beef and Kid Kamikaze came other Rougeau wrestlers: Kurt Lauderdale, Kevin Steen, Pierre Carl Ouellet. And wrestlers from other feds: ExesS from ICW, Dan Paysan from NCW, Fred la Merveille from MWF, Extreme Revolution from CCW. But if was Beef and Kid Kamikaze who first chose the IWS.
They tricked us though, somehow convincing us to boo them for being trained by Rougeau when we should have been cheering them for leaving him. It took us a long time to figure out that we had been duped. It took us a long time to realize just how good Hi-5 really was. Just when we were ready to embrace them, to cheer for them, the team was done. That may explain why we remember them so fondly, that the team folded just when we realized how much we liked them.
They were pioneers in the IWS. Beef brought to the table a form of comedy wrestling that the IWS simply had never had before. Oh sure, a few wrestlers had used a comedy spot here and there, but none of them were prepared to be as bad as Beef was capable of - to become as funny as he was capable of. Beef paved the way for Fred la Merveille and to a certain extent for El Generico.
As for Kid Kamikaze, he does not get anywhere near the credit he deserves for introducing IWS fans to technical mat wrestling and preparing us for ExesS and for Kevin Steen.
Together, Beef and Double K introduced the idea that the IWS could be about more than just hardcore wrestling, that other styles could find a place in the fed. And they did that without trying to remove or replace the hardcore wrestling. They just did hardcore in their own colourful, inimitable style like Beef Wellington introducing his beloved framed Titanic poster which was inevitably sacrificed to help them win a match.
They were champions of the IWS when the IWS went from being a good obscure regional fed to a great national fed waiting to be discovered. The first show that they went to, Born to Bleed 2001, was the first show where the IWS hinted at greatness. They earned the right to fight the Hardcore Ninjaz for the tag titles in a barbed-wire ladder match during Blood, Sweat and Beers 2002, the first show where you could really say that the IWS had had a great complete show. They had their first title defence at Season’s Beatings (I) 2003, which was not only a better show than Blood, Sweat and Beers, it was also the first in a series of shows each better than the last as the IWS went on a major roll leading to Un F’N Sanctioned 2003 in September, a show so good that we were ready to compare it to any indy promotion in North America.
By the time Un F’N Sanctioned rolled around Hi-5 had broken up, but we were still dealing with that break-up, which amongst other things brought Pierre Carl Ouellet to the IWS. Still the period from Blood, Sweat and Beers 2002 to Un F’N Sanctioned 2003 marked not just the rise of the IWS, but the rise and fall of Hi-5.
And the rise and fall of Hi-5 would be remembered fondly, if for no other reason than that it was the major story told during the last year at le Skratch. At the time, we didn’t know that it was our last year in that venue. And, honestly, when le Skratch decided to renovate the space making it unsuitable for wrestling, it was probably a blessing in disguise. We had outgrown the space and were getting to the point where we were either going to have to turn people away at the door or knock out a wall. But that year, that golden year, we packed le Skratch to the rafters; we stood shoulder to shoulder because we had no choice; when we pounded the mat it was as though the entire bar was pounding the mat; when we cheered we cheered as a team; when we booed it was with one voice and it was Hi-5 we booed and it was Hi-5 we cheered. Even when the crowd was split, we were unified in our split good-naturedly singing in French for le SLI or singing Oh Canada in English for Hi-5.
It was Kurt Lauderdale who cost Hi-5 the titles, attacking Beef. It was the Green Phantom who put the exclamation point on that loss driving Kid Kamikaze through a pane of glass propped between two chairs (with Beef lying stunned under the glass!) Little did we know that it was the last time that we would see Hi-5 together as a team. But as Kid Kamikaze lay in a hospital bed, his mind took a dark and twisted turn and he made a decision that he no longer needed Beef Wellington.
Just like that, with a knife in his partner’s back, Kid Kamikaze destroyed the greatest tag team that the IWS had ever seen. I don’t think that the fans have ever truly forgiven him. I know that I haven’t.
On May 13th, Beef Wellington will face Kid Kamikaze one on one. As far as I can tell, Beef has never beaten Kid Kamikaze in a one on one match. I don’t hope that Beef wins. Honestly, I could care less if Beef wins or loses. I want Beef to get even. I want Beef to kick Kid Kamikaze’s ass. I want Beef to punch Kid Kamikaze’s ass. And I envy the UWA fans who will be able to see Beef do just that.
Important dates in Hi-5 history
2000? The Future Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze meet playing football.
Late Spring-Early Summer 2001 - They begin training with Jacques Rougeau Jr.
October 13th, 2001 – Chicoutimi – Tornado Dylan Joffre beats Gorgeous Neil during a Rougeau show.
November 10th, 2001 – IWS Born to Bleed – Medley Llakor, Beef Wellington & Kid Kamikaze see their first IWS show
December 30th, 2001 – Rougeau Christmas Family Gala – Molson Centre (now Bell Centre) Beef Wellington & Kid Kamikaze wrestle in front of 10, 000 people. Beef wrestles as Gorgeous Neil, Double K wrestles as Tornado Dylan Joffre
April, 2002 – Know Your Enemies – Le Skratch Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze debut in the IWS and are forced to fight each other until Onyx runs in to pummel them.
May 2002 – Freedom to Fight – Le Skratch Scheduled to face Evilyscious who no-show and leave the IWS because they don’t want to face Hi-5, Beef and Double K get squashed (literally) by Onyx in a three-way dance.
June 14th, 2002 – Free Fringe Festival Show – Downtown Montreal First time introduced as Hi-5. They no longer wear the Rougeau shirts. They fight in a three-way elimination match for the IWS titles with F.O.D. & Iceberg, and the Hardcore Ninjaz. Faces of Death are eliminated first when Hi-5 and the Ninjaz team up to take them down. Hardcore Ninjaz retain their titles.
November 23rd, 2002 – Payback’s A Bitch – Le Skratch Hi-5 win the IWS tag team titles beating the Hardcore Ninjaz in a barbed wire ladder match.
January 11th, 2003 – Season’s Beatings – Le Skratch Hi-5 defend their titles against Zero and Wailing Jimmy Handjob. Kurt Lauderdale debuts promptly earning the nickname of “Career Killer” by taking out Zero, Wailing Jimmy Handjob and Irish Mike Luger. Wailing Jimmy Handjob has basically not been seen in Quebec since, Zero continues to wrestle but has had an injury bug from this point on, and Irish Mike Luger rather famously suffered a concussion and retired on the spot.
February 15th, 2003 – Violent Valentine’s – Le Skratch Beef Wellington debuts the Ass Punch… and breaks his hand (trans meta carpal fracture) on Latino Mysterio’s ass. Hi-5 defend their titles anyway.
March 15th, 2003 – Know Your Enemies – Le Skratch Hi-5 avoid defending their tag team titles as Beef fights Latino Mysterio in a “You broke my hand with your bony adolescent ass, you Peruvian Punk – Prepare to Die!” match.
April 12th, 2003 – Freedom to Fight – Le Skratch Hi-5 defend their tag titles by beating the Angry Aryans (Damian & Viking). Of course, Viking isn’t even in the ring, because he is on the way to the hospital after being set on fire by F.O.D. and Iceberg. Damian, having being beaten into a concussion by Faces of Death, lasts about five seconds against Hi-5. After this “match” the Flying Hurricanes beat Hi-5 in an impromptu match, but don’t win the titles thanks to a post-match ruling by Senior Official P-Nut that the contest was non-title.
May 17th, 2003 – Body Count – Le Skratch Fred la Merveille convinces the Angry Aryans, Damian and Viking, that it is really people who don’t speak French that they hate. The three form “Le Syndicat de Lutte Internet” on the spot. Fred and Damian challenge Hi-5 to a match. During the match the crowd starts duelling songs with the English part of the crowd singing “Oh Canada” while the French part of the crowd sing Quebecois patriotic songs. Hi-5 successfully defend their titles to a huge pop.
July 12th, 2003 – Hardcore Heat – Le Skratch Hi-5 lose their tag team titles to Green Phantom and EXesS after Kurt Lauderdale turns on them and the Green Phantom puts Kid Kamikaze through a pane of glass propped on two chairs with Beef Wellington lying stunned under the glass.
August 16th, 2003 – Born to Bleed – Le Skratch Beef Wellington loses to Kurt Lauderdale when the injured Kid Kamikaze turns on him dissolving their partnership and killing Hi-5. Pierre Carl Ouellet makes his IWS debut saving Beef Wellington from the two on one beatdown.
September 20th, 2003 – Un F’N Sanctioned – Medley Beef Wellington and Pierre Carl Ouellet beat Kid Kamikaze and Kurt Lauderdale.
October 18th, 2003 – Blood, Sweat and Beers – Le Skratch Kid Kamikaze beats Beef Wellington in a “Loser Leaves Westmount” match. (Westmount is the richest neighbourhood not just in Montreal but in Canada.) Beef moves in with his girlfriend Elsa Bangz.
November 15th, 2003 – Payback’s A Bitch – Le Skratch Fred La Merveille beats Beef Wellington and spray-paints “SLI” on Beef in blue paint. Elsa Bangz turns on Beef and joins SLI during the match. She also kicks Beef out of her apartment. Beef ends up moving in with El Generico.
December 10th, 2004 – CZW – Viking Hall Kid Kamikaze beats Beef Wellington with the help of Elsa Bangz. Beef gives Elsa the E. Coli Pile Driver after the match.
I have been working, well taking orders from Kid Kamikaze for his version of these events, a trip into the heart of the darkness that he calls “The Kid Kamikaze Experience” Expect to see that column next Wednesday.
(edited by Llakor on 5.5.05 0143)
(edited by Llakor on 5.5.05 0147) "Don't Blame CANADA, Blame Yourselves!"
BrewGuy--Kudos to you for giving me a good hard laugh today!
FIRST, you dub Palumbo and Gunn as the Ambiguously Gay BodyDonnas
THEN you go a call the team of Scotty 2 Hottie and Albert Biggie Smalls
THAT totally works for me.