I may be setting the bar pretty high with my example, and letting too much personal information about myself be known, but I think this could be a fun thread to post in and read.
When I was 23, I was set up on a date with a friend's co-worker, who I had only briefly seen and talked to. I figured that I'd buy her dinner and we could walk around town after. Among the things she revealed to me:
I was the youngest person she had gone on a date with (she was 28). The oldest was 52.
She had a physical altercation (not sexual) with some guy she knew a week before, and found out before the date that he did NOT have HIV. She was understandable happy to tell me this.
When she leaned forward for a bite of her pizza, I noticed a cheap-looking pentagram tattoo on between her bosoms.
She asked me to wait outside as we stopped by her friend's house so she could tell them in private about her not having HIV. I said I would wait for her, and as soon as the door closed and she was inside, I ran off. I got home and told my friend to never talk about me to her again, and never tell her my name. Also, not to fix me up on any more dates.
That story reminded me of the time that I met a girl that I used to work with years before at the bar, and then later she invited me back to her place. Shortly after arriving at her house, she told me that since she was tipsy that I was probably going to get lucky that night. Then she casually mentioned that she had contacted herpes the year before, but everything would be completely fine as long as I wore a condom. I immediately thought up a b.s. excuse about how I had to run out and get protection and that I would be right back in a jiffy. Needless to say, I never went back.
But my worst date was when this girl I had met through a friend of mine invited me to a Halloween party that one of her co-workers was throwing. So I pick her up and we go to the party, and I don't know a single human being there, but I figure that's ok because I have my date to talk too during the evening......WRONG!!! Soon as we got there she was immediately surrounded by about 8 of her horny single male co-workers and they definitely made it a point to totally cockblock me out of all their bantering and giggling with her. She was absolutely no better with the way she behaved to me also. Even though I was supposed to be her date, I don't think she said more than 3 words to me the whole evening as she got totally drunk and flirted all night with all her male co-workers. Of course to my dismay, there wasn't any other single females there that I could perhaps talk to, and all the other people there were in their little cliques and totally blew me off when I tried to make conversation with anybody. So I finially gave up and spent the whole evening just sitting in a chair for 4 hours making sure everyone could tell that I was really steaming and pissed off. Normally I would have just left her there and gone home, but I was so mad that I wanted a chance to really tear into her when I eventually got her out of that house and into my car for the drive back to her house......and boy did I tear into her about how rudely she had treated her "date". Unfortunately for me, she was totally wasted from all the booze and could have cared less with what I had to say. I had to practically carry her into her house, and I made it a point to tell her mother (who was awake watching TV) everything that had happened.
Later I would find out that her mother had really liked me, and the following day she demanded that her daughter call me up on the phone and apologize to me. It was one of those aplogies where you could tell she obviously didn't mean a single word of it, but was only doing it because her mother was making her do it. I didn't really care at that point because I had no intention of ever going out with her again.
"Oh it's on like Donkey Kong." - Stifler, American Wedding
I went out casually with this co-worker of mine; we went to Starbucks. The "date", if you could even really call it that, lasted about three minutes. She was thirty minutes late arriving, sat and talked with me for three minutes, and left, because her brother was in town and she wanted to show him her house. Or at least that was her excuse. We didn't even have the opportunity to order coffee. But I got a hot chocolate and quickly got over the disappointment.
"Belkar is a horrible, loathsome, supremely selfish creature who behaves contemptibly, laughs at the pain of others, has no manners whatsoever, and whose mental acuity would be compared unfavorably to that of a table. And yet I find I still prefer him to you." --Vaarsuvius, The Order of the Stick
Five-Time W of the Day (5/27/02; 7/3/02; 7/30/04; 8/28/04; 12/16/05)
The Only Five-Time (and Last) N.E.W. World Heavyweight Champion
Certified RFMC Member-- Ask To See My Credentials!
Probably the underwater welder who heard voices, had been kicked out of a church for causing a possession when he told them he believed (seriously) that Jesus was an alien with the powers of ESP. It's also the only time that the possibility of permanent physical scars to my personage have come up as a reason not to go on a second date.
I felt really smart for insisting on meeting at a public place so he never found out where I lived. Unfortunately I realized he was completely crazy in a secluded place, already drunk, and with only people an hour away by bus expecting me later that night. It's the only time I've been happy to get on a vomit and malt liquor smelling public bus at night by myself.
Went on a date with a girl I had known for probably 10 years. The entire time we were at dinner and before the movie and the drive the entire night she talked about her ex. I knew that the date was a bad idea at that time. Then again I don't think she saw it as a date anyway.
She ended up marrying the guy later and he is one of my best friends now. Unfortunately my wife and her don't get along as well as the men do. Isn't that always the way?
Big Show: Why is he getting the Intercontinental Title shot and not me? RVD: Ahhh...maybe 'cause you're a tool. Big Show: Look. I am 7'2". I am 500 pounds. I'm a giant. RVD: Oh ok. You're a giant tool.
I liked this girl in high school, but she was fairly average looking - kinda chunky, not all that pretty, but nice. I was on the rebound from a breakup and decided to take out this girl to help get my mind off the breakup.
We went to a party on a dirt road several miles from my house in the boondocks. We arrived and she immediately latched onto this jock from my school whom everyone called "Elvis." They ended up heading into the bushes together for about two hours. I tried to hit on another girl that was there, but she was pissed and sad that SHE didn't get to go to the bushes with Elvis.
My date's father had made DAMN SURE she knew she had to be home by 10 p.m. About 9:30, she emerged from the bushes with leaves and stuff in her hair and it was obvious they had gotten it on. I then came up with my devious plan - make her purposely late so her dad would be pissed at her. She kept coming up to me and reminding me she needed to go home. I kept telling her, "Yeah yeah, in a minute." Then she tried to get all sexy with me in hopes of convincing me to take her to her bedroom (FAST). I kept putting it off.
Finally, about 9:55, I got in the car and drove MACH TEN to her house. The whole ride, she was screaming for me to slow down but I kept the pedal to the metal, literally sliding sideways into her drive just a minute or two after 10 p.m. Smoke clouds drifted away from my tires and every light in her house came on. She walked dejectedly to her door and daddy emerged on the porch. I sped away and laughed like a madman.
Have you ever considered any real freedoms? Freedoms from the opinion of others... even the opinions of yourself?
It started with him picking me up and strolling over to his car. He opened the door for me and I thought it was a very gentlemanly thing to do-- that is until I realized that he only opened the door for me, so he could move all this junk from the seat and floor. When I got in the car and looked back, he had trash stacked up in the back seat, kind of like that White Castle commercial with the guy going through the car wash...
Anyway, we went to the cinema to see that Eddie Griffin/Orlando Jones classic, "Double Take".
After we got our tickets, which we went Dutch on, I headed to the consession stand. On the walk there, he tried to grope me and I shoved him off, still annoyed by his asking me out on this date and me having to pay for my movie tickets, but whatever... Anyway, he returned my shove with a shove of his own and I couldn't keep my balance. I kept going and ran SMACK into a wall, hurting my shoulder.
I called the date off and turned to leave, but he begged for me not to leave and I'm a sucker.
He bought me a popcorn and drink and went went to see the movie. He gulped his drink down the first half hour of the movie and begged me to pour some of my drink into his cup. It got to be pathetic, so I just gave him the whole damn thing.
When the movie was over, he said that he was hungry and drove to KFC. He pulled up to the drive-thru and ordered all this food for himself and then asked me if I wanted anything. I think I got something like the popcorn chicken and then we pulled around to pay and this fool had the nerve ask me to pay for it all. I did because when we pulled back up to my house, I told him to lose my number, forget my name and go to hell...
(edited by Ticamo on 28.2.06 0509) "Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention."
A week before senior prom I went to a party with the girl who I was going with. As soon as we got there, she went upstairs and stayed there the entire night with another guy. I was distraught, and some friends kept handing me beer after beer, so when she finally did come down, I let her know how unhappy I was in the most immature and graceless manner imaginable.
Prom itself, the conversation went nicely, and I got along well with her parents, but while driving I made it pretty clear that if I could have found another date on such short notice I would have. Even when she started getting flirty by running her fingers up and down my arms (the only part of my body that's muscly and fit looking), I just made a weird noise. I think she got the hint when I started passing condoms out to everybody and telling them to practice safe sex (I was a bit of a clown), and grinned when I said 'all out'.
We're still friends to this day, and occasionally she'll do the 'touchy arms' thing, but no dice.
Hold nothing sacred and you'll never be dissapointed. Especially not this statement.
The one where her older brother beat the shit out of me when I went to pick her up to go to the movies. He hit me in the stomach first, then when I was bent over he uppercut me in the eyebrow. I got a black eye, and he broke two bones in his hand. We went to the urgent care center instead of the movies. They thought I had a concussion.
He thought I was the guy who had spread a rumor about her reputation for giving good blowjobs. It was actually the guy she dated before me. I never got anything other than a black eye.
Of course, the other guy was the main reason I dated her anyway.
Her brother felt bad and apologized to me. He insisted on making it up to me, and ended up replacing a water pump on my car for me.
Her mom didn't let her date again for several months, at which point I had met someone else.
A friend from work had a second job in a restaurant. She fixed me up with a girl that she worked with at the restaurant. I met her we hung out at a bar and decided to go out.
After I picked her up she asked, "Did Sharon tell you that I was married?" My "spider sense" told me something was amiss and I hopefully said, "That's not a big deal. How long have you been divorced?" Her answer was "Well, we've been seperated for a month, but I'm going to see a lawyer next week."
As I live in western Kentucky I immediately had fears of "Bubba" chasing me down and shooting me for being on a date with his wife. I didn't immediately turn the car around, but needless to say there were no future dates.
University of Kentucky basketball isn't a matter of life and death, it's much more important than that.
Once, for being Drunk and Disorderly. My mates put me in a cab and sent me home one night I *think* I threw up in the cab and got turfed by the driver. I don't recall anything between getting in the cab and getting into the back of the Paddy Wagon.