It would be The Amazing Race. You get the physical challenges AND a tour of the world. You could win prizes for winning each leg AND $1 million.
Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, "Why have you done this to me?" And the snake answered, "Look, bitch, you knew I was a snake."
For all your CZW and Nickels Trivia information. I am now the Sex Division Trivia Champion, and on September 10 I face someone who actually works part time in the WWE! Will I be starstruck, or will I hold him down worse than the WWE holds down Val Venis? STAY TUNED!
"Look guys, it's 'Lake Man!' Hope you can fit into our NARROW office, Mr. Big Lake" --MST3K The Collection V. 7
TAR for me. In fact, we appied for the Family edition, but were never even contacted. I suspect we're not the right demographics or too old or too whatever. We're midwestern, we're WASP, we're Nuclear, we're boring.
We'll be back right after order has been restored here in the Omni Center.
On the flip side, congrats to ABC for hiring Tim McGraw to tailor the lyrics to "I like it, I love it" for every halftime highlight show throughout the "Monday Night Football" season. Just last week, my buddy House and I were discussing Cosell's classic highlight narratives in the '70s, and how nobody had approached them since, and I told House, "Only one thing could ever come close, and I know it's a long shot, but what if ABC hired Tim McGraw to tailor the lyrics to 'I Like it, I Love It' for each week of NFL highlights throughout the season?" And wouldn't you know, it happened! See, dreams can come true. --- Bill Simmons, www.sportsguy.net
My company just sent me a note saying that they've signed a corporate agreement and I'll be getting a BlackBerry 8830 World Edition in a couple of weeks. Meh. At least I won't have to pay for it and submit expenses anymore.