I live currently with my sister and brother-in-law. They work with the Sheltie Rescue of South Jersey, so they sometimes take in strays. Because of their love of animals, they have currently four dogs in the house.
Rascal and Eric are the good dogs and the only ones I want in the house.
Sweetie and Silver are the other two. Silver is fat and obnoxious, and Sweetie is forever trying to escape the house and yard (she was found in our neighborhood, so the sister kept the dog).
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"Look guys, it's 'Lake Man!' Hope you can fit into our NARROW office, Mr. Big Lake" --MST3K The Collection V. 7
One spoiled ass dog who goes by many names. She's a schnauzer/cocker spaniel-- a Schnocker. So, we started off calling her Snocker, which isn't very original.
Then she got older and bigger and we joked that she was going to get to be as big as a cow, so somewhere around that time we started and settled on calling her Moo-Moo, but she still responds to Snocker too.
Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, "Why have you done this to me?" And the snake answered, "Look, bitch, you knew I was a snake."
I've basically inherited my girlfriend's cat, a little black and white DSH named Macy (with a yellow collar so that he's Steelers colors, which is her team). She adopted another one recently with me in mind, and orange tabby with a teal collar that she picked out. Also, I would have never named an animal this myself, but she's already named it Marino.
"He's too much of gentleman to assume that the lady he is with would have a disease and he's man enough to raise any offspring that should arise. HE IS AL WILSON."[-DEAN~, 7/22/05]
Two cats. One mostly brown Siamese and one gray half Siamese. Both are relics of my late mother-in-law. I liked her (Nancy) and we all miss her, but damn! her cats are noisy and needy. And fat. His dad couldn't keep them; he has Parkinson's and kept tripping on them.
Originally posted by geemoneyOur family also has a rabbit, and we'v had it about 10 years too- we got it from another family, and I'm amazed its lived this long (though honestly, I don't know how long rabbits are supposed to live). That's our only pet.
I've got a rabbit too (named "Rabbit", because as I explain to people "Hey, it's not like the rabbit's ever going to come if you call it"). It and a few others were running around our neighbourhood a few years ago, but when they started getting run over, I decided to take it in. My brother worked parttime at Petland then and said that it was a breed that wouldn't survive our winter and that the owner must have just let them all go (turns out that's exactly what happened). Because they (8) were all housebroken, they weren't scared of people at all, so they would hop right into traffic, or right up to bullies who would just kill them for fun. One day I just picked her up and walked inside.
I've had her for about 8 years now and she's still doing pretty well. I've read that they can live between 8-12 years assuming they're in good health.
I've got a leash and a harness for her too for taking her on "walks" (she really just hops where she wants and you just have to follow). I swear on my life that I've never seen a better chick magnet.
Trouble doesn't really like anybody but me, and was actually diagnosed as depressed when I went away to college. The vet was gong to put him on Kitty Prozac until my parents realized that they were going to give Prozac to a cat.
Sneakers has extra toes on each foot, and is scared of her own shadow. On the rare occasion she's friendly to you, she'll suddenly jump up and run away, as if she's just now realized that the thing she's laying on is a living being. She also will run around in circles in the front yard for hours on end.
My sister rescued Simba from a crazy cat lady when she was attending Lock Haven University. He was the runt of the litter, and was going to be put to sleep. He's got a huge appetite for people food (cause that's what he had for the first six months or so of his life), and he'll drink beer out of my glass if I'm not careful.
The newest addition is a miniature pincher puppy named Taffy in a really, really obscure reference to the original version of "The Office". (Why? Who knows?) She's a tiny little piece of a dog, but she has no idea of her size and has already twice tried to pick fights with a pit bull at the local PetSmart.
Taffy's archnemesis is our six year old cat Noodles, who feels supplanted as the house's favorite and plots the dog's destruction from her little cat bed. We think she's trying to sell her on e-Bay.
Just to add to the mix, we've got a cockatiel named Ruby Soho - my sister's got an odd fascination with mediocre punk acts - who is, with no exaggeration, the greatest animal in the world. Don't tell anyone, but the bird is easily my favorite of the bunch - AND he's trying very hard to talk. He'll sit and chatter for about twenty minutes at a time, and he's coming very close to mimicing the song he's named after. *sniff* I'm so proud.
We've also got three frogs in our pond in the backyard, although we're currently in the "hoping they survive the winter" period. The most nondescript one is named "Froger" - not like the video game, but like "Roger" with an "F" at the beginning. The big black one is named Sam Jack after the star of "Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane". And there's one that's really, really big and really, really green so, of course, we named him "Chris Masters".
"That's my problem - I'm too frank. That's why my mother shoved me down the stairs. But then she is fat."
Lose some G-D weight like everybody else Read my bible more Learn to cook real meals, and do it more often Do "it" more often Play basketball (semi-)regularly again Get a new job, preferably in a new industry