I am talking about the "I-wish-I-could-stop-myself-from-eating-this-but-I-can't-help- myself-and-now-I-am-gonna-be-sick-and-depressed-and-filled-with- self-loathing" kind of shame. You can also include non-shame inducing foods if you consume said foods in shame inducing amounts or have a good story about your food item to share.
1) Those freeze-dried onions that you can buy in the spice isle. They are crunchy and yes I eat them strait out of the plastic container. No, not the fancy breaded fried onions, the dried unbreaded ones. They make my breath reek, give me gas, and give me uniquely potent stinging farts. I am sure that they will be listed as one of the reasons if I ever end up divorced.
2) Those really, really cheap tv dinners. Most tv dinners are bad for you; high in fat, salt, and calories. The really, really cheap frozen dinners that I find myself eating are salty, greasy, concoctions filled with tasteless vegetables, bad fake potatoes, and mystery meat with salty gravy. But I can't help myself; when they are on sale, I always take some home. And eat more than one at a time. [hangs head in shame]
3)McDonald's food. I could talk about the movie "Super size Me". Instead I will tell this true story. My husband and I were just about to move to Wisconsin. Before meeting the realtor, we ate at McDonald's. As we were driving around, listening to the realtor's sales pitch/prattle, I got nauseous. The poor realtor had to stop the car so I wouldn't barf in his Cadillac with the leather interior. Instead, I barfed in a ditch. I swore I wouldn't eat McDonald's food again; that lasted for about a month. I don't even want to know what is in their food.
Oberto peppered thin-cut beef jerky — not that Natural Style crap they've decided will be their premiere jerky. My dad lives near a gourmet deli that makes incredible, wonderful homemade jerky, and he will actually ship it across the country to me, but it's just not the same. I miss the Oberto. Worse, it's not available in my area. So I will pay an absolutely retarded amount on shipping to buy three giant bags of the Oberto thin cut. It's grossly expensive. It's loaded with preservatives and nitrites and parts of mouse or bug or something. I could be getting gourmet beef jerky that's 100% natural for free. But oh no, I'll spend too much money for this processed stuff, just because I grew up eating it in the Bay Area, and because I love it so.
Maruchan Instant Lunch. Cup O'Noodles is shit - this is the good stuff. For whatever reason, the grocery stores have stopped carrying it around here, so I've taken to ordering cases through Amazon.com, paying shipping out the ass for some freeze-dried instant soup that most people would only bother with if they were starving.
And you don't even want to know how much I'd pay if someone came across the long-discontinued Teriyaki Chicken variety...
"That's my problem - I'm too frank. That's why my mother shoved me down the stairs. But then she is fat."
Originally posted by spfI enjoy Spam. I get cravings for Spam. I think Spam and bacon on toast is a wonderful sammich.
Have you tried the spam, bacon, sausage & spam? I hear it comes highly recommended. (Bloody Vikings.)
One bag of Ruffles potato chips & one tub of plain Philadelphia whipped cream cheese. The only reason to arise from the sofa before both are gone is to refill my vodka & tonic. I try very hard not to do this unless absolutely necessary; but when it is, nothing else will do.
I found presents in the closet when I was 4. Different wrapping paper, obscure deliver times, joke gifts, all the measures they took were very clever but unnecessary. I kept my mouth shut until I was 14.