Well, we'll find out this weekend what happens when a PPV occurs with little to no interest:
Vince vs. Daughter (retirment match #3,209,209,458,215 of each contestants career): Well, the first 50 PPV buys will be going to pay the $2,000 fine in Maryland for man vs. woman match. In a perfect world, Double DQ and someone actually upholds the stips. In Vince's world, Vince wins after a 47 minute 'classic'.
Eddy Guerrero vs. The Giant (US title): Eddy is over. But, Eddy is small and has two titles. Thus, Eddy jobs. Giant wins US Title.
Chris Benoit vs. Albert: The purpose of this feud is that Albert can't beat Benoit. Since Albert is a hoss, he must go over. Albert wins.
Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri: Should be a nice match. Jamie Noble interference backfires, Tajiri retains and a potential 3 way feud begins.
Kurt Angle vs. John Cena: Its Kurt Angle, so it should be a good match. Cena needs a big win at some point to get elevated, and this is probably the point.
Taker vs. Brock Lesnar (Yap-i-pi Chain on Judy Bagwell on a Pole Match for World Title): If ever there is a time for Brock to win, its now. If Taker is heading into an angle with Vince, the worst thing possible is for him to be World Champ, as it might cause Vince to have one of his 'brilliant' ideas. Brock retains.
There should be more than 6 matches, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head.
(edited by redsoxnation on 17.10.03 2109) Where's the spaceship? The Mayor promised a spaceship if we beat the A's, and I want my spaceship.
If I didn't have a house full of people to split the cost on, I'd be wary of dropping 35 bucks on this. It reminds me of the 1995 IYH cards...the matches made sense, there was a history to most of them, but the outcomes really didn't interest me either way. Really, in storyline terms, who cares if A-Train can actually beat Chris Benoit? I guess I have a collection to keep complete, but otherwise I don't know if it's worthwhile.
So if they have 7 matches to fill 3 hours and you know they won't give the cruisers any time, who gets to fill all the time? Undertaker? Vince? Big Show? A-Train? Wow.
You know, I'm as much of a sucker as any dumb shit for shelling out PPV $$$, but this will be the first one I've skipped of anything (even that Jap Hardcore bullshit...and Heroes of Wrestling) in over 10 years. I didn't think they could go lower than taking EDDY from the penthouse to the shithouse and fucking A! Of all people, why Giant? But they managed to top themselves with the Steph interview and Vince's psychotic promo (staring at Sable was the saving grace...and then they swapped tongues)...it takes a bunch to make me not watch, but Jesus did they finally pull it off.
If it wasn't for the fact that Vince pretty much has a stranglehold on the wrestling distribution rights (i.e. - he can sell anything YOU want to see on DVD for $25 U.S.) I would be nervous that the stock I hold would be worth a penny a share Monday morning. No one in their right mind should buy this PPV...if you can steal it, good. Even though it's illegal, I have a hard time believing that any court of law would convict you for bogarting such a sorry excuse for a Big Time Rasslin Event
Demonstrations are a drag. Besides, we're much too high...
Smackdown has the better show, yet raw can put on a crappy ppv and it's still ten times better than a smackdown ppv, hmmm.
Biker Chain Championship Match (they actaully have a title match? i thought it was all about Steph and Vince, hmmm once again. Oh, wait, didn't they have Brock Vs. Taker at No Mercy 2002, wow, WWE has come a LONG WAY) Champion: "the real" (that wore off quick didn't it) Brock Lesnar Vs. The Undertaker My thoughts: I thought Taker might go over, but now i think that would be pointless, hey pointless and WWE, they're the same thing! -Brock by simply kicking his ass
First Ever Father Vs. Daughter I Quit Match Vince McMahon Vs. Stephanie McMahon My Thoughts: Like i said before, this has creepy written all over it, what if Vince likes grabs her boobs or something, that's just ewww. Vince resigns if he loses, yeah right, and steph is gone as gm if she loses, i like that... -Vince ala Foley from the Rumble 99
Kurt Angle Vs. John Cena My Thoughts: hey an actual match to look foreward to. This will be great, and i hope Angle puts him over. -Cena cleany with the FU
United States Championship Match Champion: Eddie Guerrero Vs. The Big Show My Thoughts: an eh match, might be ok, a big might on that one, but at least this one gets a might be ok compared to the other garbage. -Show by Chavo interference
Chris Beniot Vs. A-Train My thoughts: Every time train gets a push, he ends up jobbing in the end. -Benoit by submission
Cruiserweight Championship Match Champion: Tajiri Vs. Rey Mysterio My Thoughts: I think this will be good, but not as good as Cena and Angle. -Rey by Noble
Zach Gowen Vs. Matt Hardy My thoughts: hopefully they pull a Summerslam on this match (funny the DVD has this on the match card on the back and a pic of Zach Gowen, and didn't even happen!), or Matt Hardy slaughters him and shows the fans he sucks ass, not because of the fact he was one leg, but the fact he only has 2 moves, i know he is limited but, i don't want to see him, period. -Hardy by twist of fate, then after match beatdown that shelves him forever.
Well boys and girls, no mercy 2003 looks like a shit fest. like i said, im glad it's free, cause i go to hooters, but after doing the rundown (NOW IN THEATRES!!!), i'm thinking of skipping, i dont know what i will do, peace steak...
Go ahead, do it You have sexual needs (needs), desires (desires) You want to, you need to, do it for you When was the last time you did something, for you? (indulge) We all know this is a physical thing, it's not like you're going to leave your wife (physical) Look at it this way, it will make your relationship stronger in the end What she doesn't know, wont hurt her (bliss) You'll apprecriate your wife more (appreciation) You play your cards right, you might even learn a few things (A+) And believe me, your wife will thank you later (thanks) I'm not telling you anything that you don't already know.
Most of you guys have way too many heels going over, and I think Vince knows that he has to keep the fans happy with a card as lackluster as this. So...
Taker vs. Brock- Taker must win here so everyone can rest a little easier at night. Plus, Taker seems to lose most of his signature matches, so he needs to take this one. Prediction- Taker cleanly (well, cleanly with the chain that is)
Vince vs. Steph- Because of Taker, we can get Vince's win out of the way. Nothing to say but...eh. Prediction- Vince w/ Sable's help
Eddie vs. Show- Show doesn't need this belt, while Eddie's gimmick of cheating to win necessitates the use of the belt liberally. For this reason, look for some shenanigans from Eddie and Chavo for the retention. Prediction- Eddie s/ Chavo's help
Angle vs. Cena- Cena does need this win, and he just might get the first title shot from Taker after Mark's feud with Brock ends, so look for a Cena win. There will be cheating in this match as well. Prediction- Cena wins, but not cleanly
Benoit vs. A-Train- While I'm no big fan of Benoit, I'm even less of an Albert fan, so I will go with the personal choice of a clean victory by Chris. Prediction- Benoit cleanly with Crossface
Mysterio vs. Tajiri- Now this is actually the toughest match to predict, due to a sudden Tajiri push. Since Noble is the next contender, I will have to bow to Tajiri and give him the victory. Prediction- Tajiri w/ new Pep-O-Mint blue mist to win
Hardy vs. Zach Gowen- Unfortunately, Zach REALLY needs this injury comeback win, and we may even have Shannon turn on Matt during the match. Either way, Zach has to win to keep his role on Smackdown. Prediction- Gowen wins to piss off Spaceman Spiff even more.
Molly, Stacy and Daffney all in WWE? I suddenly lost all my will to complain about anything regarding the WWE. Hope I don't lose my street cred for this.
TS, the greatest Wiener rated 6.1554 ever to live!! Oops, I mean 5.5...4.5?? Oh, dammit! I guess Notorious FAB was right.
Here's my take: 1. Vince vs. Steph - Vince - Vince goes on to: Feuding with the Undertaker. I wonder how FBI will feel when Undertaker sells more for McMahon than for all three of them. - Steph goes on to: Matrimony, and continuing her transformation into Chyna. I think she'll eventually become a full-blown wrestler.
2. Brock vs. Undertaker - There are a lot more faces in the uppercard than heels, so look for Brocky to go over yet again. - Brock goes on to: Anyone but Kurt Angle, let's say Chris Benoit. - Undertaker goes on to: The Chairman.
3. Eddie vs. Big Show - I'm hoping for an extended cheating sequence, as most fans wouldn't mind seeing Big Show royally screwed. Even still, Eddie gets the duke on this one. - Eddie goes on to: An intense blood feud with nephew Chavo, which is sure to get less than a quarter of the promo/skit time of Chairman McMao. - Big Show goes on to: Working in said feud, teaming with A-train, and generally squashing fellows.
4. Zach Gowan vs. Matt Hardy - Z2K has to get some kind of quality win, so after interference goes awry, Matt falls victim to a Twist of Fate. - Zach goes on to: The Cruiserweight division. Hey Z, can you take a stiff kick to the head? - Matt goes on to: His reward for a jobberiffic performance, a US title reign. And maybe even a new MFer (Kanyon is RIGHT THERE!)
5. Benoit vs. A-train: Chris Benoit is the Truth, the Way and the Light, and whosoever believes in him shall have everlasting li...what was I talking about? - Chris Benoit goes on to: The Main Events, baby! Make Brock tap in a tag team match and boom, instant marquee feud. - A-train goes on to: Teaming with the B-train, playing a stooge role in the McMahon-Taker feud, and licking his wounds until he can get a meaningless win on Benoit some other time.
6. Rey Misterio vs. Tajiri - If given enough time to operate, Rey can amaze and astound, and Tajiri can scintillate. Tajiri will win, but the real drama is hoping for false finishes rather than real ones. - Tajiri goes on to: Jamie "Good thing the WWE remembered I exist" Noble, in a feud that will probably fail, due to a lack of investment in the Noble face character. - Rey goes on to: Either (a) the tag team division, bringing back the Filthy Animals pairing, or (b) up the card, feuding with John Cena or Matt Hardy for the US title.
7. Angle vs. Cena: Here's the thing: Win or lose, Cena benefits from being in the ring with Angle. Angle, however, needs to be kept out of the Heavyweight Title scene, and without a standby blood feud (NOBODY wants to see Angle feud with A-train), this will have to do. So look for Cena to get the duke, but with enough shenanighans to justify a rematch. - Angle goes on to: More of the same, unless he gets relegated to tag team duty. - Cena goes on to: The Source Awards, where he can be ambushed by Ja Rule in a lame attempt to get back his street credibility. Actually, he'll be pencilled in as Kurt's Survivor Series opponent. Remember Angle-Edge? This feud is a lot like that...
Notables left off the card: Rhyno, Benjamin & Haas, Kidman, Chavo, The Bashams, Torrie, Shaniqua. I thought single brand PPVs would give everybody a chance to shine. Certain guys have been short-shrifted, and that doesn't bode well...
Went into the W Time Machine and looked back at the last SD only PPV Vengence preview. And alot of negative over Vince/Zach, Steph/Sable (being heavily pushed) and barroom brawl, but the res of the matches looked good. And Vengence turned out to be fantastic (top 3 PPV of they Year), heck even Gunn/Noble was very good and I thought Zach/Vince was good too... But I just don't see it this time. The top of the card looks bad and I don't like the pairings that are going on in the mid-card. The only thing worse then what the matches look is the build to these matches which has been a joke
Taker vs. Brock- PICK: BROCK LESNER- I don't think they are going to take the title off Brock. But saying that the SD title has been around like a ball during a game of running bases between Angle, Brock and Big Show that a title switch means next to nothing, so I won't be shocked or surprised if Undertaker won. And honestly, I wouldn't be that upset either
Vince vs. Steph- PICK: VINCE McMAHON- Both of these character have overstayed their welcome. Steph goes to be with her soon to be hubby but will be back before the year is out. Might see Sable make out with Linda McMahon for no apperarent reason
Eddie vs. Show- PICK: EDDIE GUERRERO- Tough pick I just don't see how having BigShow as the U.S champ helps him, the title or potential U.S champs. So I think Eddie keeps the title with some clever cheating.
Angle vs. Cena- PICK: KURT ANGLE- Cena needs to step up here. Personality he's okay, inring I find him very average (even when he's in there with the Benoits and Guerreros). He's in there with the best, step up or step off. If he doesn't have a memorable match here then he's nothing but a second rate rapper who can rhyme words with d*ck. I'm picking Angle because I don't think Cena has done enough to earn a win over Kurt. If he proves himeself in this match he might get a rematch win
Benoit vs. A-Train- PICK: CHRIS BENOIT- Could I care less about a Chris Benoit match, I'm sick of seeing these guys lame feud/match on SD, let alone see them in a PPV match with really nothing on the line. A-Train has no rub to give. No interest what-so-ever in this match and I'm a Benoit fan.
Mysterio vs. Tajiri- PICK: TAJIRI- They seem to be teasing Tajiri vs. Noble. So I'll keep the title on Tajiri, plus I'm tired of the hot potato back and forth of titles. That's what the SD World Title is for. My pick for Match of the Night.
Hardy vs. Gowen- PICK: ZACH GOWEN- I have no feeling for this match. Maybe because there was little build to it. The build they did have was Zach losing to Matt's understudy and now gets a PPV match with teacher and leader of Mattitude (Is there some messed up booking steps here?). Zach gets a win (I think) by via newly introduced picture of Matt.
Lot's of people seem to think Zach Gowen is gonna' win his match. Doesn't anyone realize yet that Gowen has a clause in his contract specifically stating that he can not win any of his matches, EVER! Not even against Shannon Moore.
I was thinking just a few weeks back that the card was shaping up to be pretty good. What a dummy I was. I think I'll be giving this one a pass and saving the money for Here Comes the Pain.
Vince vs. Steph: Steph, just because Vince usually jobs.
Taker vs. Brock: Too early to take the title off Lesnar, so I'll say he retains.
Eddie vs. Show: This is pretty much the only match I really care about, if only because winning here will be a sign they're serious about pushing Eddie. So he goes over. At least in my perfect world.
Angle vs. Cena: Cena, finally getting that big win he needs.
Benoit vs. A-Train: Benoit, Goddess willing.
Tajiri vs. Rey: I'd like to see Tajiri win here, but Rey's the one who's way, way more over and who moves more merchandise. I wouldn't bet against him.
Gowen vs. Matt: Gowen by DQ or backfired screwjob by the MFers.
"I do have a degree in electrical engineering... from almost 20 years ago. Punchcard systems were just becoming obsolete, we had rotary phones in the dorms, and a modem was still a gizmo the size of a shoebox into which you squooshed the phone receiver itself. In short, we lived like animals.
The instant obsolesence is why I became a writer. The rate of punctuation in a sentence doesn't double every 18 friggin' months, and you never have some 22-year-old looming over your shoulder, shaking his head, saying "dude... you're still using adverbs...?"
For the price of this PPV, I can get 3 TNA shows and a small pizza with my student ID. Here's some possibilities for the PPV I will not watch: **Zach wins will the help of Face Shannon. They team up. Spanky joins them later for a combined weight of 320 pounds.
**I heart Benoit. Albert never got any reaction out of me at all. Using my "wrasslin sense" I predict that A-Train will win. Benoit will be relieved that he no longer has to touch that hairy, greasy creature.
**Rey vs. Tajiri. Doesn't matter, so long as the winner feuds with Ultimo Dragon.
**Eddy really needs a clean win over Show. Even Vince must realize that.
For me, it's a struggle for whether I'm willing to dole 5 bucks out to the local bar to go or not. I mean, looking at the shows RoH has been putting out lately, I'd much rather save the money to pick em up.
Big Chain tied around Judy Bagwell on a Pole match for the WWE Smackdown Championship:
He's Brock Lesnar, yes The Real Brock Lesner. All you other Brock Lesnar's are just Imatatars(C) vs. Mean Mark, The Biker Man
My Pick: Brock. He needs to stay a monster.
WWE United States Heavyweight Championship:
Eddie Guerrero Lies, Cheats, Steals, and drives a Poop Truck(C) vs Well, it's The diarrhea-inducing-burreto-eating Big Show
My Pick: Eddie takes it. with possible help from Chavito.
WWE Cruiserweight Championship:
Tajiri w/New Multi-Colored Mist(C) vs Who that commin' out the sky? R-E-Y Mysterio, here we go!
My Pick: Tajiri wins, with possible interference. Either failed by Jamie Noble, or by a debuting Jimmy Yang.
A Father/Daughter match that will cost WWE a $2000 fine by the Maryland State Athletic Commision , due to Men vs. Women matches being banned.
Uh.. oh yeah, both people's jobs are on the line.
Mr. Vince McMahon w/Sable Licious vs. Nipple H w/Her Mom
Vince wins and Steph goes to get marrined to HHH and rub his injured groin with her gigantic rack.
The Doctor of Thuganomics vs Your Olympic Hero
My Pick: Angle. I want to say Cena, but WWE has a pattern of having Cena's opponent win at the PPV< while Cena wins the rematch on Smackdown. I doubt this will change
The God of Wrestling, Chris Benoit vs Albert Train
My Pick: Benoit. Why is Albert always freaking pushed? He's not over, and never will be!
Matt Hardy, Verision 1.0 w/ Shannon More, Verison 0.7 vs The one-victory kid, Zach Gowen
My Pick: Zach. He's only won one match in his WWE carrer, and that was against Big Show to get his contract. Since then he's jobbed to everyone else, including Vince. If Zach doesn't win this one, then WWE better be ready to cut their losses, and release Zach.
With this company, some would argue that's the only place you can find it any more. Anyway, I liked the Cat well enough, but not well enough that I'm going to grieve over his firing. This one just strikes me as really, really abrupt.