No one would get injured. Every match would be a five-star match. "What!" would be replaced with "Hallelujah!". Sting would come back to TV. So would Ted DiBiase. "D Von, here's your push!" Owen would still be with us. The whole Hart family would catch a break. Molly vs Mary in a Virgin vs Virgin match. Imagine no Bischoff or Russo or Stephanie, and Vince would just announce. Ratings would be up. Things would be good.
You don't really believe that, do you?
Nobody could pitch any ideas to him. "Oh, you're going to tell GOD how to do it?" No one would want to be a heel, because they'd go straight to Hell. God never wrestled, what does he know about it? God thinks Bossman is really entertaining. How else do you explain him still being around? Guess who would win all the "Walk on water" matches? Instead of "Austin 3:16" all the T Shirts would have real Bible chapters on them. Instead of Dusty Finishes, we'd get acts of God reversing decisions. You know he'd make his son the top babyface. And Jesus jobs for nobody (well, except for doing the big job for our sins, but they have to save that for a PPV) And even then he'd no-sell the crucifixion. Coming back three days later, who's he think he is, HHH?
Maybe that's not such a hot idea anyway.
Just a little levity to try and brighten the deathwatch mood in here.
Please. He couldn't even wrestle a week without applying a resthold.
Mean Gene: "You know, I don't think it's a question - Goldberg, I don't think it's a question of who's next, I think it's a question of who's left?" Goldberg: "No, see, that's where you're wrong. It ain't who's left, it's - WHO'S NEXT?"
"Just how hardcore am I? Well this morning, I drank milk that was two days past the expiration!" -Norman Smiley
Originally posted by Fuzzy LogicAt some point, one of the most offensive match ever would take place... that being, the Jesus on a Pole match.
Oh, and of course there'd be the "Forbidden Fruit on a Pole" match, but that'd be boring.
JR: "My GAWD! That Jezebel! SHe made..she made Adam EAT the apple?! That harlot!" Lawler: "She is wearing only a leaf, JR! WOOHOO...Divine puppiesss!!!" And lightning struck him down.
Jesus would probably be a heel in this time and age, as he wuold stand in the ring and look at the crowd and go "You have all sinned but I forgive you, I will still be your Champion" Hmm..sounds like a Kurt Angle gimmick.
And John the Baptist actually sounds like a gimmick from the WWF in the early 90s.
And ugh..think of the hardcore match they could book: The Christians vs The Lions.
"...And I use that to fuck them some place fairly uncomfortable." "What, like the back of a volkswagen ?" -Mallrats
I thought they could have gotten really creative and had Orton claim he was molested backstage as a child and that he hit Vince because Vince was in charge when he was being abused. And the 'You Can't Read' line really through off Orton.