Shortened editions of Saturday Night are all the rage this summer as Atlanta Braves baseball kicks in to high gear – but if you can handle half the Cyborg Machines, then I can handle half the Cyborg Machines!
TONY SCHIAVONE and DUSTY RHODES recap Nitro; when the Outsiders showed up with baseball bats, so WCW drew guns to chase them away. I wouldn’t feel comfortable in the building this coming Monday, someone’s likely to set off a bomb.
BILLY KIDMAN vs. REY MYSTERIO JR.
OH HELL YES!!! Granted, Kidman might not be *KIDMAN* yet – but this has the chance to be the best Saturday night match of the year if they give them any time. Rey Rey hits a springboard moonsault, getting a quick 2. Into a wheelbarrow, Rey escapes with an armdrag and Kidman hits the deck. Rey makes sure he stays there with a 619 swing. Back in – Rey goes for the triple jump moonsault, but Kidman sidesteps and Mysterio hits canvas. Slingshot guillotine from Kidman gets 2. Off the top – crossbody gets 2. Kidman charges Rey in the corner, but eats boot. Rey runs at him, right into a powerslam. Up top – Rey cuts Kidman off, and hits a super victory roll for the pin at 2:19. Criminally short; but I get it, Kidman was nothing at this stage. **
“HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN vs. THE GAMBLER
Gambler pitches cards into the muck before the match, because he’s a smart gambler, not your average donkey.
Duggan starts a USA chant, so Gambler cold-cocks him from behind for being so darn patriotic. Duggan fires right back with a clothesline and kneedrop – and starts chanting USA again cuz he knows what he knows. Gambler comes off the top, but gets a fist to the gut. Powerslam sets up the 3 point stance, and Duggan gets the pin at 1:59. Horse-doody. DUD
“EARL” ROBERT EATON (with Jeeves) vs. JOHN TENTA
Tenta’s wearing an eye patch, the after-effects from his attack with the silver dollars homey sock courtesy our good friend Bubber. You follow? Eaton goes right to the eyes, cuz momma didn’t raise no fool. Neckbreaker is blocked, Tenta drops an elbow, and gets the pin at 1:14. We’re rolling in the crap tonight kids. DUD
lets us know he’s all about respect; and what he doesn’t respect is Disco Inferno. This is true – he’s more of a ladies man
DISCO INFERNO vs. JOHNNY BOONE
Disco of course spends most of his time focusing on his dancing, and nearly gets pinned a number of times by Johnny Jobber. A couple of elbow drops turn the momentum, and Boone is basically out cold. He’d make a fine referee. Neckbreaker gets the pin at 1:15. The good news is that his hair isn’t messed up! DUD
MAXX MUSCLE and THE FACES OF FEAR vs. LEX LUGER, STING, and RANDY SAVAGE
The trio are wearing Sting’s warpaint – even though Sting’s quietly become a dark long haired weirdo and probably needs psychiatric help. Meng and Sting start – Meng hits a superkick for 2, saved by Savage. Barbarian misses an elbow drop, so Sting tags in Luger. Lex clotheslines the top World Title contender, and everyone switches out again; with Savage and Maxx taking their turns. Savage eats an elbow, and takes a sidewalk slam. Elbowdrop misses, and in comes Luger with clotheslines. Powerslam is on point for 2. The Faces of Fear dive in off the corner with a double headbutt, but hit Maxx! Then Meng’s all “screw it” and stomps on Maxx anyway, while Savage finishes with the elbow at 3:04. I have no idea what the Meng turn was about, but I thoroughly enjoy the absolutely random nature of it. *
TONY SCHIAVONE wants a word with Team Defenders. Sting wants to know how they’ll fare against actual wrestlers as opposed to commentators. “YOU ARE IN THE JUNGLE BAYYYYBEEE!” Luger says that in times of war, groups bond together, and that they are completely unified to protect their way of life. Savage says he’s not the Nacho Man; he’s the Macho Man. Glad he’s here to clear that up. Sting ends the program with “The big boys just left the building!” And thus they do.
The Shooting Star Press blog
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