Only a one-hour edition of Saturday Night this week, likely due to the Braves. Really, that’s all this show needs to be effective, so I’m looking forward to the condensed format.
I have to love that every video package this week about the incident at Great American Bash starts with “do you work for the WWF?” Is it any wonder this angle resulted in hundreds of legal hours; the more they air this clip, the more effective it becomes in making fans believe Razor and Diesel were in fact WWF invaders. Just brilliant.
TONY SCHIAVONE and DUSTY RHODES promise more discussion about the powerbomb heard ‘round the world. Dusty states that if you’re gonna declare war, “you best bring more than your little toothpick legs, that’s all I’m sayin’.”
KEVIN SULLIVAN (with Jimmy Hart) vs. PAT TANAKA
RIP El Gato. Taskmaster pulls Tanaka right to the back, where they’re both counted out at 0:36. Sullivan keeps screaming “THIS IS FOR THE HORSEMEN” as he throws Tanaka down the stairs in the back, beside a production truck. Tanaka’s left for dead as Sullivan’s restrained.
A video clip of the WWF Invasion airs. Arn Anderson tells the Outsiders that powerbombing Bischoff is one thing; but dares them to try it with one of the Horsemen.
VK WALLSTREET vs. KONAN (for the WCW United States title)
Konnan has been signed to face Ric Flair at Bash at the Beach. Konnan gives some pre-recorded comments that to be the man you gotta beat the man; and right now he’s the man. Flair allegedly told Tony before the show he might be a 13 time World Heavyweight champion, but he’s actually a 48 time US Champion so he’s looking forward to regaining his title. Konnan hits a springboard dropkick for 2. Wallstreet comes back with a boot to the face in the corner, and dumps Konnan through the middle ropes to the floor. Back in, Wallstreet nails a forearm shot that gets 2 – making him just a little irate about the “slow” counting of the ref. Sleeper is applied, but Konnan won’t go down. He hooks Konnan for the Stock Market Crash, but instead does an airplane spin first, and Konnan slips down the back, Oklahoma roll and gets the pin at 3:24. 1/2*
More Outsiders stuff with Sting; his comments “see what happens when you pick on a wrestler”.
HARLEM HEAT vs. FIRE & ICE
Booker T is on a cell phone during their entrances for god knows what reason – and tells the camera “WE BACK ON THE PHONE BABY!” Must be a shortage of phone in Harlem. Scott Norton is of course more familiar to you as Darrell Sheets from Storage Wars, and probably wouldn’t make a good tag-team champion. Put your money on Harlem Heat. Train and Booker start, and Train hiptoss slams Booker for 2. Norton tags in, but the Heat pound him into a fine dust. Still, like a modern day Terminator, Norton regenerates and hits an avalanche. Booker gets a cheap shot that distracts Norton long enough for Stevie to kick him in the face. Clothesline drops Norton, and Stevie takes over with his offense moveset: the tag to Booker. Booker kicks Norton in the face, and works him over with a number of high knees. Stevie Ray wants in on this, and applies the nerve hold with the kind of force you’d expect to see when a Grandmother holds her newborn grandchild. Booker flies in with a crossbody, but Norton blocks him with an atomic drop (or powerbomb if you’re Tony) – and in comes Ice Train. He shakes harder than a British Nanny, and starts running over Stevie Ray with clotheslines. Norton wants a tag back in, and Ice Train isn’t sure – so they stop to talk about it. This team is special needs man; and Booker sees his opportunity to dropkick Train in the back of the head, who runs into Norton and falls right off the apron. Harlem Sidekick finishes at 5:13. Norton and Train have a quick argument at ringside, but hug it out. *1/2
Steven Regal calls out the Outsiders; “if you want some, come get some cuz I am not hiding”. Booker T of Harlem Heat tells them “this ain’t kiddie land sucka”.
DEBBIE COMBS vs. MADUSA
Combs is a traveller of virtually every failed attempt at a Women’s division through WCW and WWF. She is the literal definition of enhancement talent; as opposed to talent enhancement, the title of Madusa’s plastic surgeon. Combs dresses like Goldust for some reason – but her breasts are smaller.
Combs slams Madusa, but Madusa comes back with a chokeslam. Debbie avoids a dropkick, but then misses a big splash of her own off the second rope. Madusa finishes with an Oklahoma roll at 1:35. Good to see we’ve come up with a unique set of finishes tonight. DUD
More Blood Runs Cold. Maybe so, but my eyes run bored.
ARN ANDERSON and CHRIS BENOIT vs. THE ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS
This is certainly a fun pairing. The last time the RnR appeared on WCW programming was 3 weeks earlier, putting on a fantastic little match with the Horsemen – so I admit to going into this with some slightly higher than usual expectations. Benoit’s still sporting his massive bruise, but it’s no surprise it wouldn’t heal up in just 4 days. Arn starts with Morton, and Arn is quickly double teamed with a couple of boots – followed by a tope that hits the mark. Gibson enters the ring with a flying clothesline, but stupidly backs Anderson to the corner where he’s able to tag out. Gibson hits an Oklahoma roll, but can’t hook the leg, so Benoit slips away. A knife edge chop turns the tide, and Benoit stomps away with serious intensity. Anderson comes up, but takes a sunset flip – however Gibson can’t go for the pin because Arn tags Benoit on his way down. Benoit small packages Gibson, but can’t get the pinfall. The Horsemen try to cut the ring off, but Gibson hits an enzuigiri and makes the hot tag to Morton. Anderson takes an atomic drop and bulldog for 2. A double team dropkick from the RnR goes nowhere because Benoit dumps both guys over the top and draws a DQ at 4:40. Benoit continues the assault after the match, trying to kill Morton to the point Anderson has to pull him off so that he doesn’t follow through. Arn lectures young Benoit all the way back to the locker room. This was so-so. *1/2
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND decides to conduct some interview time with WOMAN, ELIZABETH, and DEBRA MCMICHAEL. Gene demands to know what on earth was going through Debra’s head. “One word: Money!” That draws in THE FOUR HORSEMEN, with Mongo carrying the Haliburton because apparently he doesn’t have a chequing account. Anderson shows Benoit his support, saying they’d cut loose all the dead weight and there’s nowhere to go but up. Chris warns Sullivan he’s dealing with an elite group, and he best back off. Mongo gloats of nearly ending Greene’s career, while Ric can’t hide his smile. “ALLLLLL … AT THE EXPENSE … OF MACHO’S MONEY! WOOOOOOO!”
Once again, the clip is aired asking the Outsiders if they work the WWF; followed by cutting to Razor promising a 3rd man at Bash at the Beach, and for the first time on Free TV – Bischoff getting powerbombed through the table. We cut to the footage of the WWF Outsiders guffawing about their attack, and leaving. And Saturday night goes to black with Bischoff laid out.
This is the major story that appears destined to dominate for the immediate future, and possibly throughout the summer. Can anyone stop these Outsiders? Who is the 3rd man? And why must my blood run so damn cold?
Not to spoil my latest Stupid WWE Rankings That No One Cares About (coming this Friday - tell your friends!), Sean O'Haire has the best win/loss record on Smackdown, and second only to Bill Goldberg for the entire WWE.