It’s a shortened edition of the show for a shortened WCW roster! Only half the cyborgs needed. ENGAGE CYBERNETIC ENGAGEMENT SEQUENCE!
TONY SCHIAVONE and DUSTY RHODES don’t wrestle, because they’re less cyborg than droid. Dusty promises to share his views on Hulk Hogan. I’d prefer he stick to what he knows.
“SQUIRE” DAVID TAYLOR (with Robert Eaton) vs. DEAN MALENKO
Dave Taylor jerks the curtain for a second straight show (Prime doesn’t count, it’s not a show); I smell politics working against this sure fire star. Taylor is hiptossed, screaming for dear life on the flip. He’s dropkicked to the floor, HEY where’s the DQ? Eaton screams at Malenko, I agree, bloody cheater. Taylor back in, here it comes, THREE European uppercuts! Malenko then dodges one and backslides Taylor, but Taylor ain’t going down like that, no sir. Fans chant USA because they’re bigots against England. Back to the corner, Malenko throws elbows, but Taylor’s all nuh uh, cuz HE has one move and it’s the European Uppercut, and he’s throwing again. Taylor’s the reason everyone in Britain has awful teeth by the way; he’s given them all a little taste of the uppercuts on his way up the ladder. Fallaway slam, Dusty screams UPSET, but friggin Malenko kicks out. Forget that, we need another European uppercut, and we get one! Argh, my man misses a crossbody, Malenko hooks the Cloverleaf, and he wins at 4:52. Tough loss, he’ll get it back next time. He’s still a gentleman so he shakes Eaton’s hand. *1/2
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND talks to Malenko because apparently he doesn’t know who the real winner tonight was. Dean wants his Cruiserweight title back, and has made a deal with Jimmy Hart. Hart promised Dean that he’d get the title back if he helped take care of the Benoit problem. Gene: “Hart sometimes scratches a little more than your back if you know what I mean.” Spoken like a jilted ex-lover.
THE FOUR HORSEMEN (with Woman, Debra McMichael, and Elizabeth) vs. THE AMERICAN MALES, JIM POWERS, and CHAVO GUERRERO JR.
Man, Chavo went from pushed young talent to Jobber Committee in record time. Even Joe Gomez is startled. No word on where the hell Flair was on Monday. Benoit helps Woman through the ropes; quite the gentleman. TEDDY LONG lurks in the shadows. Bagwell and Flair start, with Bagwell hitting a dropkick, meaning he’s already run through 100% of his offense. Flair chops him down and struts. Bagwell counters with some limp wrist punches, and backdrops Flair across the ring. Flair begs off, but it’s a sucker move cuz Bagwell moves in and gets tossed through the middle rope to the floor. Chavo tags in and dropkicks all members of the Horsemen except Mongo who’s too good for that. Benoit powerbombs him in half, and a Pier 6 breaks out. Mongo finishes Chavo with a tombstone in the melee and gets the win at 3:11. 1/2*
To no surprise, “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND wants to talk turkey with Benoit and Woman. Benoit tells Woman he wants a viable explanation for what happened on Monday. Woman suggests he question Debra instead. Chris says he depends on Woman, but Woman’s clearly still not happy at Debra entering the Horsemen. Chris demands she succumb to his will, and she does, grabbing his arm and walking off.
This is our first ever paid advertisement, with the debut of the porno music and the painted beard. Nash says they’ll decide who the next member is, “don’t call us, we’ll call you”. Hall says they’re new, true, and taking over WCW. He’s dropped most of the Cuban accent at this point. After the third man they delivered, you know the fourth man is going to be huge. Hogan: “We don’t need you, we don’t want you, we’ll take you when we want you”. Hall says Luger and Sting got soft, and they’re still fighters. Hogan’s excited for his title shot at Hog Wild, and can’t believe WCW’s so weak to beg the Giant to be their savior. This was unlike anything ever shot in wrestling; it was grainy, it jumped from thought to thought, with rapid camera switches. The wrestlers weren’t asked to stay on point; rather they said whatever they felt like. In a word; edgy. If I could find it, I’d link it, and hopefully a helpful poster will do so.
THE NASTY BOYS vs. STING and RANDY SAVAGE (with the Haliburton)
Saggs starts working over Savage with a flurry of fistwork, leaving Savage a heap in the corner. Powerslam brings in Knobbs, who promptly misses an elbowdrop. Sting beats Knobbs down while the referee begs him to remember those fists need to stay open. Sting connects on a dropkick for 2. Big splash is blocked by those Knobbsy Knees, and Dusty gets some CLUBBERING! Backbreaker leaves Sting hurting, and he’s then tossed to the outside. Knobbs jams the Haliburton to Sting’s midsection. Back in, Savage retrieves his briefcase of money, while Sting hits a faceplant. Macho gets the tag and distracts the referee while Sting clocks Knobbs with the Haliburton. Savage drops the elbow while DEBRA MCMICHAEL sneaks in to steal the case! We have winners at 3:43, in many different factions. *
Backstage, “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND wants to chat about Sturgis. Savage promises there won’t be a World Title match, because Savage is going to hit him upside the head with a Tire Iron before the match starts; Hogan will never even make it to the ring. I am so deeply in love with the really, really, really crazy version of Macho. Sting focuses in on the Outsider – he feels they work in numbers, anytime they have the advantage, they strike. I seem to remember them working the last pay-per-view 2-on-3, but what do I know.
ROUGH & READY (with Colonel Robert Parker) vs. THE STEINER BROTHERS
Enos gets the upper hand on Scott Steiner, and quite frankly, I’m not okay with that. Thankfully, neither is Scotty, who throws him across the ring with a belly to belly. SISTA SHERRI arrives at the top of the ramp, as Rick works over Slater. Slater retaliates with a side-Russian legsweep. Dusty prefers to gawk at Sherri instead of pay attention to the brawl in the ring. Outside the ring, the Colonel holds Slater hostage while Sherri slips her tongue down his throat. Rick gets a roll up for the pin at 4:04. I don’t get it. 1/2*
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND asks The Steiners to beware of the Colonel at Hog Wild. HARLEM HEAT arrives on the scene to laugh at the Steiners chances, while Scott takes offense to them stealing his TV time. That of course brings in the rest of the convoy from the ring; with Slater screaming the Colonel is a no good snake in the grass. Sherri points and laughs at Slater, while the Colonel holds up his cane defensively. Seriously, the sooner Fuller leaves for the WWF, the better.
Our second paid announcement comes courtesy of the Outsiders. They’re watching Sting and Luger from night vision. A phony call comes in to Luger to break them up, and The Outsiders slam Sting’s head with the trunk of his rental car. They take off before anything can come of it.
THE BOOTY MAN (with Kimberly) vs. THE GIANT (with Jimmy Hart) (for the WCW World Heavyweight title)
I guess if Hogan gets a title shot, all his friends do too. Booty throws his best stuff, which isn’t really all that good, and has his High Knee no-sold. Giant then beats him down, ramming him from buckle to buckle. Two Chokeslams finish at 2:13. RIP Booty. But not too peacefully. DUD
Taking us home once again is “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND. Giant calls Hogan out for leaving Booty to die in the ring without any help; but he doesn’t care because he’s been riding Hogan’s coat tails for years. Giant promises to leave Hogan on the wrong end of a very long Chokeslam. And that’s all she wrote for this edition!
Not a particularly great show, but the angles moved along, and it was short. Nitro’s up next, still in Disney MGM. Where does the nWo angle take us next; and can Rey Mysterio sustain it?
In various interviews since then both Hall & Nash have talked about how Hogan just didn't "get" what they were trying to do with these videos and kept trying to cut standard wrestling promos instead of keeping it short and sweet, soundbyte-style. They said it was some junior editor who told them to just roll with it and he'd make it work in post-production. You can totally tell from the first video what they were talking about. Hogan almost falls into embarassing uncle territory at points but the editing totally saves it, with the quick cuts to Hall & Nash. Also interesting to note Hall & Nash themselves still haven't totally found their groove yet, still cutting Razor & Diesel style promos. How much of that was by design I don't know though.
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I really liked the main event, even if there was no realistic way to do a clean finish. And I think that after they finish up their current programs, they really ought to consider putting together Cena and Sheamus as tag champs.