Oh here comes Johnny B Badd! He might be wrestling for the Intercontinental Title on RAW, but he’s still the face of THIS show.
DUSTY RHODES and CHRIS CRUISE are on tap; you should try the Dusty, it comes with a big frothy head. Let’s get to it.
GOLDBERG PAT TANAKA vs. ALEX WRIGHT
Cruise announces Randy Savage will be wrestling tonight, which flies in the face of the entire bloody angle they’re selling with him right now – but does it matter? Of course not. THIS … is WCW! Wright cartwheels around and shows off his years of gymnastics. Wright is to the Cruiserweight division what a TV dinner is to a steakhouse; he just doesn’t fit in, and he’s not what anyone ordered. German suplex with a bridge finishes at 2:38. 1/2*
KENSUKE SASAKI and JUSHIN LIGER (with Sonny Onoo) vs. THE ARMSTRONG BROTHERS
The Armstrongs lead a USA chant because they’re racist. Guess it runs in the family; Brad Armstrong would later be involved in a feud with mysterious newcomer Berlyn from Germany (who may or may not have appeared in our opening match) – which started when Brad told him “YOU’RE IN AMERICA, YOU SPEAK ENGLISH TO ME!” Sasaki takes Steve to the floor, and lets Sonny Onoo get in his free shots, and don’t kid yourself, Sonny would later become a pretty accomplished wrestler, going undefeated for years. It may have helped being paired with The Cat, who of course is the greatest of all time. Liger knocks what braincells are left out of Scott’s head with a brainbuster. Steve gets the hot tag eventually, and the Armstrongs clubber on Sasaki. Kenzo just kills both with clotheslines, and a BEAUTIFUL Volcano Driver gets the win at 4:56. I probably owed this match more attention, but then Liger probably belongs on Nitro. *1/2
STEVE DOLL vs. EDDIE GUERRERO
Steve Doll really has no business having another match in this company, after allowing Razor Ramon to walk into the ring in the middle of one of his matches, and simply WALKING AWAY. There’s a code – and you don’t let unscripted outsiders do their thing on your turf. Doll hits a jawbreaker, and drops a knee across the bridge of Eddie’s nose. Eddie comes back, and hits the Froggy Splash for the win at 3:07. *
THE BARBARIAN vs. RANDY SAVAGE
Cruise is pimping this as Randy Savage’s last appearance on TV ever. His story is that while Savage is barred from TV, he did have to make this last commitment because it had already been booked. Wrestling logic! Barbarian powerbombs Savage immediately, and gets a 2. Backbreaker has Savage reeling. After a missed headbutt, Barbarian doesn’t miss a step by hitting a belly to belly overhead superplex off the top rope! This is why Barbarian is a top contender to the World Title, he’s a vicious warrior – unstoppable – unflinchable – unbeatable! Except here, when Savage makes his comeback and hits the elbow for the win at 4:35. **1/2
“LIFEGUARD” STEVE COLLINS vs. CHRIS BENOIT (with Arn Anderson)
Benoit is ridiculously jacked here, looking like a post-steroid Buff Bagwell. The Lifeguard has had a nice little run of wins in recent weeks; but I’m thinking he’s doomed, and Dusty feels the same by stating “he’s about to drown in a pool full of sharks”. Sure enough, Dragon Suplex for the win at 1:55. Collins didn’t even hit a single move. *
THE STEINER BROTHERS vs. STING and LEX LUGER (in the Moo Match of the Week for the WCW World Tag-Team titles)
This is a pretty big match up to be giving away to a group of fans who are only able to tell the heel and faces by looking at the cue cards. Rick tosses Luger across the ring with a release German suplex that he makes look way too easy. Luger retaliates with a forearm smash. Both guys tag out, and Scott is ready, tossing Sting with a t-bone. Cruise points out that Steiner appears to be growing freakishly large with every passing week; if only he knew this was the tip of the iceberg. Come back in 2 years, Christopher. Rick works a crossface on Luger, and upon release he gets a clothesline for 2. Scott works a rear chinlock, staring down Sting intensely the entire time. A pair of elbow drops get 2. Scotty goes for the Frankensteiner, but Luger flattens him with a running kneelift and tags in Sting. Sting has Stinger Splashes for both members of the Steiners, but he goes for Rick and Scotty snaps off a Frankensteiner!!! Luger JUST barely saves. Rick nails a bulldog off Scotty’s shoulders and goes for the pin, but Luger throws Scott over the top rope to cause a DQ and retain the titles at 5:30. This was bloody intense for Prime, and has to be the best match this show has ever aired. ***1/2
Cruise wraps up with talk of the upcoming Great American Bash. Football! Wrestling! COLLIDING! Dusty promises this will change the sport forever. Wrestleball? Maybe?
Here we go: Knock Triple H all you want (not that you need my permission). But he went down and lost decisively to Goldberg, which is the only way this match could have finished to make sense. That or a 30-second Warrioresque squash.